The Best 28 Missionary Position Jokes

Following is our collection of funniest Missionary Position jokes. There are some missionary position jokes no one knows (to tell your friends) and to make you laugh out loud. Take your time to read those puns and riddles where you ask a question with answers, or where the setup is the punchline. We hope you will find these missionary position puns funny enough to tell and make people laugh.

Funny Missionary Position Jokes and Puns

We already know Roy Moore's positions on crime and immigration. But, what about his position on children?

Missionary, mostly.

So I applied for a random volunteer job at my church

I really hope I get the missionary position

Why did the church hire a prostitute?

Her résumé said "missionary position"

Missionary Position joke, Why did the church hire a prostitute?

A pastor was accused of sexual misconduct

When interrogated by police, he said "I don't understand, she gave consent...I asked if she'd volunteer for a missionary position and she enthusiastically accepted."

My wife's favorite position is the missionary position. That's when she's on her back in bed...

and I'm in Africa.

My attempt at a sexy math joke

A sine wave and a cosine wave are trying to have a baby. They are deeply religious so the only position they are able to do is missionary. After many attempts they think they might have conceived a child. The cosine wave grabs a pregnancy test, goes into the bathroom, and comes out a couple of minutes later. The sine wave says "well is it negative or positive?" and the cosine wave says "no, it's tangent."

Why did the prostitute join the Mormon church?

She wanted a high paying missionary position.

Missionary Position joke, Why did the prostitute join the Mormon church?

My wife says if we get 1000 upvotes we can have sex in the missionary position for the sole purpose of procreation

2000 and she'll let me do it with the lights on

What's a Mormon's favorite sexual position?

You'd probably think it's missionary, but i'm pretty sure they'd try the back door if they had the chance.

I met a missionary once.

He said it was an interesting position.

Three women went to see the OB/GYN

The Brunette came out and said, "We had sex in the missionary position, and we're going to have a boy!"

The Redhead came out and said, "We had sex in the cowgirl position, and we're having a girl!"

The Blonde started sobbing as she stood to go in. Between sobs, she said, "Oh no! We're having puppies!"

You can explore missionary position reddit one liners, including funnies and gags. Read them and you will understand what jokes are funny? Those of you who have teens can tell them clean missionary position dad jokes. There are also missionary position puns for kids, 5 year olds, boys and girls.

What do you call the act of turning over in bed to switch from the missionary position to doggy style?

A sexual revolution.

I heard that the missionary position helps men to work out the chest and triceps.

.. do you wanna help me verify this?

How much does it cost to have sex with a male deer in the missionary position?

Under a buck

My sexually distant wife and I were passed over for the new missionary job at our church

I guess we didn't have enough experience in the position.

Why do you call it a missionary position?

Because the missionaries spread it

Missionary Position joke, Why do you call it a missionary position?

What's a preachers favorite sex position?

Missionary

Rodeo Position

Two old cowboys are sitting around a campfire and drinking. Somewhat drunk and not in the best frame of mind one turns to the other and say's I miss my missus, but when we make love it's always the same . Somewhat taken aback, but curious nonetheless, the other cowboy asks how's that? We always use the old missionary position the old cowboy replies. Thinking about this the other cowboy says If you want some excitement you need to try the Rodeo position . The cowboy says What's that?
Well you start off doggie style, behind her. Then you lean forward and with your right hand grab her right breast, and with your left hand grab her left breast, with your face beside her head you whisper gently in her ear, Yep feels just like your sister , and then hold on for dear life.

My wive's favorite sex position is the missionary

That's when she's laying down on her back, legs spread open & I'm in Africa.

The Metro Church of Christ published a circular

The circular says: Bored? Try a missionary position.

Are you looking for work spreading the word of Jesus?

Because I can offer you the missionary position.

What's the difference...

What's the difference between Missionary Baptists and Baptists?
Position

A man asks his buddy: "Listen to me! Why has your wife left you, if I may ask?"

And he says, "you know, she has told me that I am weak in the bed."

"Oh, that is really sad. And what do you do to improve it?"

And he says again: "you know, I have bought one book, the name of this book is Kamasutra, you know I am helping myself with the hand, I have learned all positions, but the last position I am not gonna make."

"And what is the name of this position?"

"You know, imagine the missionary position."

How do you have sex with a nun?

You put her in missionary position.

What's a nun's favorite sex position?

Missionary

What was the name of the Pope's official stance on interracial marriage during Colonial times?

The Missionary Position.

How does a nun like to have sex?

In the missionary position.

What's a blues brother's favorite sex position?

On a missionary from god

Just think that there are jokes based on truth that can bring down governments, or jokes which make girl laugh. Many of the missionary position jokes and puns are jokes supposed to be funny, but some can be offensive. When jokes go too far, are mean or racist, we try to silence them and it will be great if you give us feedback every time when a joke become bullying and inappropriate.

We suggest to use only working missionary position piadas for adults and blagues for friends. Some of the dirty witze and dark jokes are funny, but use them with caution in real life. Try to remember funny jokes you've never heard to tell your friends and will make you laugh.

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