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Missile Jokes

60 missile jokes and hilarious missile puns to laugh out loud. Read jokes about missile that are clean and suitable for kids and friends.

Hit the target with this hilarious collection of missile jokes! Laugh out loud at these silly gags about launchers, magic missiles, nuclear projectiles, and other weapons of mass amusement. Push the button and launch into a new realm of missile humor.

Funniest Missile Short Jokes

Short missile jokes and puns are one of the best ways to have fun with word play in English. The missile humour may include short projectile jokes also.

  1. President Biden ordered an F16 missile attack to destroy the Chinese spy balloon Americans are thrilled. It's the first thing he's done to combat inflation.
  2. The whole world should be worried that North Korea has a missile that can hit New York... ... because if it can make it there, it can make it anywhere.
  3. I'm concerned with the world news at the moment. Apparently, North Korea now has a missile that can hit New York, and I was thinking.
    "If it can make it there, it can make it anywhere".
  4. North Korea now has a missile that can hit New York, which is a bit scary… Because if it can make it there, it can make it anywhere…
  5. i came up with this one and i think its a little silly. what do you call it when a missile fails to reach it's destination? projectile dysfunction
  6. Trump Today Trump Today:
    Missile #1: "You're fired!"
    Missile #2: "You're fired!"
    Missile #3: "You're fired!"
    And so on 56 more times.
  7. Britain has invented a new missile It's called the civil servant - it doesn't work and it can't be fired.
  8. I've invented a rocket that intercepts incoming warheads by consuming them. It's a cannibalistic missile.
  9. Breaking news, as Kim Jong-Un's nuclear missiles have reached the USA! Fortunately, the stamps were recognised and they were sent back
  10. Putin has started to launch missile attacks from submarines off the coast of an East African archipelago He shells Seychelles by the seashore

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Missile One Liners

Which missile one liners are funny enough to crack down and make fun with missile? I can suggest the ones about grenade and rifle.

  1. Why did the chicken cross the road? To escape Kim Jong Un's long range missiles.
  2. Why did North Korea's missile fail? It had projectile disfunction.
  3. How does North Korea celebrate Christmas? With missile tows
  4. Today, in Hawaii, a missile wasn't fired But someone sure will be...
  5. If athletes get athlete's foot, what do astronauts get? Missile toe.
  6. What do a missile silo and an Alaskan outhouse have in common? They both contain IC BMs.
  7. Why did Kim Jong Un Instagram his missile? It was the only way he could send it.
  8. What did the hungry missile say? When is launch at?
  9. North Korea Putting the miss in missile.
  10. What's one thing a homing missile can't kill An orphan
  11. A missile wasn't fired... But someone in civil defense sure will be.
  12. What do you call a projectile that is very good at finding friends? A homie missile.
  13. The missile attack was a home run. It covered all the bases.
  14. Where do you file uncategorized rocket items? Under missile-enious.
  15. What do you call a bomb made of cows A mooclear missile

Magic Missile Jokes

Here is a list of funny magic missile jokes and even better magic missile puns that will make you laugh with friends.

  • I cast magic missile at the darkness.
Missile joke, I cast magic missile at the darkness.

Witty Missile Jokes for Laughter-Filled Fun with Friends

What funny jokes about missile you can tell and make people laugh? An example I can give is a clean rocket launch jokes that will for sure put a smile on everyones mouth and help you make missile pranks.

The Americans are using a new type of rocket that constantly updates its Facebook status until it reaches its target.

It's an attention-seeking missile.

back in '02 a general came to George W and informed him that we accidentally dropped a missile in the wrong area and it killed 3 Brazilian men...

Dubya looked VERY distraught and looked over at Condoleezza Rice and asked, "exactly how many is a Brazilian?"

Whats the difference between a North Korean missile and a K-Pop singer?

The singer can have a hit

What is Adam Johnson's favourite kill streak?

Predator missile

What didn't the Japanese understand nuclear missile technology?

It was a little over their heads

Why was a missile looking for a job?

Because it got fired!

Pyongyang launches nuclear missile following end of US election

Just kidding, thought I should lighten the mood a little.

In light of the latest North Korea missile failure...

America is no longer their greatest enemy...
The Ocean, however, is!

I think we really need to lay off North Korea over their failed missile tests...

I think they're developing projectile dysfunction :(

I'm really afraid that North Korea will send a missile to the US

I live in Europe

Since Trump nicknamed Kim Jun-Un Rocket Man, when Christmas comes along..

he can call him missile toe.
Joke originally told by my coworker today, who is a master of puns.

What happened when the missile found out her BF was cheating?

She went ballistic. Totally used the nuclear option.

I got an emergency alert about an incoming missile on my phone today.

When I got it I went intercontinentally ballistic.

Don't you love it when you get beautiful texts from someone that cares about you?

So eloquently written, it ties your stomach in knots. Writing so succinct and captivating it gets your heart pounding and racing. Using words that convey such great ideas. I got one like that one today. It read
"Ballistic missile threat inbound to Hawaii. Seek immediate shelter. This is not a drill."
Truly powerful words. They **blew** me away

Did you hear about the old intercontinental ballistic missile that couldn't get hard...

He had projectile dysfunction.

Did you hear about the failed Canadian plot to bomb Mexico with a nuclear missile?

It went south fast.

What do you get when an attractive American woman walks into a room full of Cubans?

A Cuban Missile Crisis

Did you know...

An AGM guided missile has an e**... big enough to wreck several decks on a warship?
Anyways, I got dishonorably discharged from the navy

I read about a feudal uprising where a duke's son was killed by rebels.

They used a trebuchet to knock him off the battlements with the only available ordinance: a peasant's decapitated head.
It was the first recorded instance of a serf-face-to-heir missile.

The military has invented a new missile that turns everything in its vicinity to gold

They're calling it the Automic bomb

Calling a friend in Ukraine

Hi, what is going on ?:
Well, Russia is in war with NATO here.
And how does it look like ?
Russia lost a missile cruiser, over 600 tanks, 25000 soldiers.
And NATO ?
Did not arrive yet.

Did you hear about the US Air Forces accidental missile strike?

They took off on the mission and then couldn't abort!

Missile joke, President Biden ordered an F16 missile attack to destroy the Chinese spy balloon

jokes about missile