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Missed Flight Jokes

22 missed flight jokes and hilarious missed flight puns to laugh out loud. Read jokes about missed flight that are clean and suitable for kids and friends.

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Funniest Missed Flight Short Jokes

Short missed flight jokes and puns are one of the best ways to have fun with word play in English. The missed flight humour may include short delayed flight jokes also.

  1. The Llama Joke Why did the Llama miss his flight to go on holiday?
    He was busy Alpacking.

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Missed Flight One Liners

Which missed flight one liners are funny enough to crack down and make fun with missed flight? I can suggest the ones about flight delay and missed.

  1. Why did Edward miss his flight out of Russia? Because he was Snowden.
  2. Why did the lawyer miss his flight? There was a problem with his brief case.
  3. I had a near miss on my a flight to Thailand. Well a pre-op t**....

Entertaining Missed Flight Jokes to Laugh Out Loud Fun with Everyone

What funny jokes about missed flight you can tell and make people laugh? An example I can give is a clean airlines flight jokes that will for sure put a smile on everyones mouth and help you make missed flight pranks.

Ticket Please

A flight attendant was stationed at the departure gate to check tickets. As a man approached, she extended her hand for the ticket, instead he opened his trench coat and flashed her.
Without missing a beat....she said, "Sir, I need to see your ticket not your stub."

Santas reindeer get lost on a flight one night and don't return to the pole. After being missing for weeks, they are found, the only survivor being Donner. When asked how he survived, he replied:

"They don't call me Donner for nothin'"

A foreign family is about to travel to america

The parents told the kids to say bye to the friends they will miss. The older son then threw himself down a flight of stairs, in the hospital, when he was asked why he did it, he said
"Just saying goodbye to free healthcare"

A man approached the check in counter

A man approached the check in counter, he had a flight booked to Miami. He leaned over to the lady and said "Miss I have a special request, I would like my green bag to go to London, and my red bag to go to Hawaii"
Confused, the check in lady said "I'm sorry sir we can't do that"
The man responded "Thats great news, because thats what happened last time"

WiFi on the plane

Hello miss flight attendant, the elderly man said
I am sorry to bother you, but the internet is dead
Sir, don't you worry, the internet's not slain
You have to understand, there's no WiFi on a plane
'Yes 'mam, I know my stuff, he angrily yelled aloud
Being high up here, I've got to work in the cloud

Women are just too clever

A man an his wife were having some problems at home and were giving each other the silent treatment.
Suddenly the man realized that he would need his wife to wake him up at 5:00 am for an early morning business flight.
Not wanting to be the first to break the silence, the man wrote on a piece of paper, " please wake me up at 5:00 am", and put it where his wife could see it.
The next morning he woke up only to find that it was 9:00 am, and he had missed his flight.
Furious, he was about to go see why his wife hadn't waken him up when he found a paper next to the bed.
It said, " its 5:00 am, wake up"

funny husband and wife playing silent .......

A man and his wife were having some problems at home and were giving each other the silent treatment. The next week the man realized that he would need his wife to wake him at 5.00 am for an early morning business flight to Chicago. Not wanting to be the first to break the silence, he finally wrote on a piece of paper, "Please wake me at 5.00 am." The next morning the man woke up, only to discover it was 9.00am, and that he had missed his flight. Furious, he was about to go and see why his wife hadn't woken him when he noticed a piece of paper by the bed ... it said... "It is 5.00am; wake up.

The silent treatment

A husband and wife were having some problems at home and were giving each other the silent treatment.
Suddenly, the man realized that the next day he would need his wife to wake him at 5:00 AM for an early morning business flight.
Not wanting to be the first to break the silence (and lose), he wrote on a piece of paper, "Please wake me at 5:00 AM, love you." He left it where he knew she would find it.
The next morning, the man woke up, only to discover it was 9:00 AM and he had missed his flight. Furious, he was about to go and see why his wife hadn't wakened him, when he noticed a piece of paper by the bed.
The paper said, "It is 5:00 AM. Wake up. Love you more."

A man and his wife had a fight...

They decided to give each other silence for a while. The man's alarm clock had broken down a couple of days ago, so when he had to get up at 5:00 AM to catch his flight for a business trip, he wrote on a piece of paper: "Can you please wake me up at 5:00?", and laid it on his wife's beddrawer before he went to sleep.
The next morning he woke up, and he was shocked to see it had already been 9:00 AM, and therefore he had missed his flight. He was just about to go ask his wife why she hadn't woken him up, when he found a piece of paper on his beddrawer with the text: "It's 5:00 AM, wake up".

Silent Treatment [Long]

A man and his wife were having some problems at home and were giving each other the silent treatment.
The next week the man realized that he would need his wife to wake him at 5:00 am for an early morning business flight to Chicago. Not wanting to be the first to break the silence, he finally wrote on a piece of paper, "Please wake me at 5:00 am".
The next morning the man woke up, only to discover it was 9:00am, and that he had missed his flight. Furious, he was about to go and see why his wife hadn't woken him when he noticed a piece of paper by the bed ... it said...
It is 5:00am, wake up.

In light of today's events in Toronto

A lady gets on a plane and realizes that she's been seated next to an Arab man in traditional attire. She watches him cautiously during the entire flight.
When the plane lands, he gets out before her, but leaves his briefcase under the seat in front of him. Noticing this, she grabs it and follows him, handing him the briefcase!
"You almost forgot this!", she said.
The man looks at her and says, "Thank you for this, miss. As a token of my appreciation, I have some advice for you, "Stay away from Toronto."
She replied, "Why? Is there going to be an attack there?"
"No", he said. "Their mayor's a crackhead."

My flight was being served

My flight was being served by an obviously gay flight attendant, who seemed to put everyone in a good mood as he served us food and drinks.
As the plane prepared to descend, he came swishing down the aisle and told us that 'Captain Marvey has asked me to announce that he'll be landing the big scary plane shortly, so lovely people, if you could just put your trays up , that would be super.'
On his trip back up the aisle, he noticed this well-dressed and rather Arabic looking woman hadn't moved a muscle. 'Perhaps you didn't hear me over those big brute engines but I asked you to raise your trazy-p**..., so the main man can pitty-pat us on the ground.'
She calmly turned her head and said, 'In my country, I am called a Princess and I take orders from no one.'
To which the flight attendant replied , without missing a beat,
Well, sweet-cheeks, in my country I'm called a Queen, so I outrank you. Tray-up, b**...!'

In the spirit of a TIL that made it to the front page.

I'm sitting on this plane and the pilot comes on the PA system to tell the passengers that we are now flying at cruising altitude and all that nonsense but when he put the phone down he missed the hang up. All the passengers could still hear the pilot as he turns to to copilot and says, "You know I could really go for a a cup of coffee and a b**... right now." The flight attendant went running up the aisle to tell the pilot he didn't hang up and as she races by my seat the guy behind me shouts, "Hey, honey! Don't forget that cup of coffee!"

In West Virginia you don't see too many locals hang-gliding...

Bubba decided to save up and get a hang-glider. He takes it to the highest mountain, and after struggling to the top, he gets ready to take flight. He takes off running and reaches the edge--into the wind he goes!
Meanwhile, Maw and Paw Hicks were sittin' on the porch swing, talkin' 'bout the good ol' days when maw spots the biggest bird she ever seen!
"Look at the size of that bird, Paw!" she exclaims.
Paw rises up, "Git my gun, Maw."
She runs into the house, brings out his pump shotgun. He takes careful aim. BANG...BANG.....BANG.....BANG! The monster size bird continues to sail silently over the tree tops.
"I think ya missed him, Paw," she says.
"Yeah," he replies, "but at least he let go of Bubba!"

Blonde becomes a flight attendent

An airline captain was breaking in a new blonde stewardess. The route they were flying had a layover in another city. Upon their arrival, the captain showed the stewardess the best place for airline personnel to eat, shop and stay overnight.
The next morning, as the pilot was preparing the crew for the day's route, he noticed the new stewardess was missing. He knew which room she was in at the hotel and called her up wondering what happened. She answered the phone, crying, and said she couldn't get out of her room. "You can't get out of your room?" the captain asked, "Why not?"
The stewardess replied: "There are only three doors in here," she sobbed, "one is the bathroom, one is the closet, and one has a sign on it that says 'Do Not Disturb'!"