Miss America Jokes
28 miss america jokes and hilarious miss america puns to laugh out loud. Read jokes about miss america that are clean and suitable for kids and friends.
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Funniest Miss America Short Jokes
Short miss america jokes and puns are one of the best ways to have fun with word play in English. The miss america humour may include short miss universe jokes also.
- Why are there only 49 Miss Black America contestants? ..Because none of them want to be Miss. Idaho
- Why do Americans choose from just two people to run for president... ...and 50 for Miss America?
- America has deployed a crack team of specialists over to Nigeria to try and find the missing school girls. Britain had sent Stuart Hall, rolf harris and Max Clifford.
- My mother-in-law is so ugly . . . She entered the Miss America pageant and almost lost her citizenship!
- The Miss America will no longer judge contestants based on physical appearance But somehow I'm sexist for spreading this news to coworkers I think would be interested.
- America, Britain isn't the ex who pretends it was mutual We're the ex who say 'Phew, missed a bullet there'
- How can you spot the p**... at the Miss America pageant? She's wearing a sash that says Idaho.
- Did you hear about the Pakistani plane c**...? They were aiming for America but they missed.
- There was a black woman who won the Miss America Pageant, what state was she from? I-da-h**...
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Miss America One Liners
Which miss america one liners are funny enough to crack down and make fun with miss america? I can suggest the ones about beauty contestant and beauty pageant.
- Yo mama so ugly She entered a Miss America pageant and nearly lost her citizenship.
- Why can't America play chess? They are missing 2 towers
- Why is america at an disadvantage at chess? Because they are missing two towers.
- Why can't America ever win a chess tournament? Because they're missing two towers
- Why can't America play chess? Because it's missing two towers.
- Ellen Pao couldn't become a Miss America, so instead she became a Miss Ogynist.
- My ex-wife still misses America Online... ...BUT HER **A.I.M.** IS GETTING BETTER!
Silly & Ridiculous Miss America Jokes to Spread Joy & Laughter
What funny jokes about miss america you can tell and make people laugh? An example I can give is a clean pageant jokes that will for sure put a smile on everyones mouth and help you make miss america pranks.
A foreign family is about to travel to america
The parents told the kids to say bye to the friends they will miss. The older son then threw himself down a flight of stairs, in the hospital, when he was asked why he did it, he said
"Just saying goodbye to free healthcare"
A french man and his wife go shopping in America
As they are walking down the aisles, she is placing items in bags for them to buy. He is mindlessly walking behind her while she does so, he is missing the simple pleasures of France.
She stops and looks at her husband and holds up a loaf of bread. "Honey, do we need bread? Should I put it in a bag?"
The man looks at his wife and squints his eyes at her.
"Bag-uette." ("Bag it")
(Made this joke one day while in the shower, friends don't find it as absolutely hilarious as I do, let me know if this joke is the best or if I am just s**....)
finally discovered why all the evangelicals support Trump
"He is the ultimate cure to omosexuality: just one year of Trump and all the gay men in america suddenly realized how much they miss the bush"
A black man, a mexican, and a white man find a magic lamp
Naturally, a genie comes out.
The genie gives each of them one wish, starting with the black man. He tells the genie "Genie, my people all miss Africa and would like to go back and see it one time. I wish all my people in America were back in Africa." And then the genie sent all the b**... to Africa.
The Mexican says "Genie, I feel the same. My people miss their families and the cooking from Mexico, so I wish all of my people in America went back to Mexico." And then the genie sent all the Mexicans back to Mexico.
The white man thinks for a minute, and asks the genie, "So you're telling me that all the black people and all the Mexican people are out of America?" The genie nods, and the white man says "Oh, I'll just have a Coke then."
If World War One were a bar fight.
Germany, Austria and Italy are standing together in the middle of a pub when Serbia bumps into Austria and spills Austria's pint. Austria demands Serbia buy it a complete new suit because there are splashes on its trouser leg. Germany expresses its support for Austria's point of view. Britain recommends that everyone calm down a bit. Serbia points out that it can't afford a whole suit, but offers to pay for the cleaning of Austria's trousers. Russia and Serbia look at Austria. Austria asks Serbia who it's looking at. Russia suggests that Austria should leave its little brother alone. Austria inquires as to whose army will assist Russia in compelling it to do so.
Germany appeals to Britain that France has been looking at it, and that this is sufficiently out of order that Britain should not intervene. Britain replies that France can look at who it wants to, that Britain is looking at Germany too, and what is Germany going to do about it? Germany tells Russia to stop looking at Austria, or Germany will render Russia incapable of such action. Britain and France ask Germany whether it's looking at Belgium. Turkey and Germany go off into a corner and whisper. When they come back, Turkey makes a show of not looking at anyone.
Germany rolls up its sleeves, looks at France, and punches Belgium. France and Britain punch Germany. Austria punches Russia. Germany punches Britain and France with one hand and Russia with the other. Russia throws a punch at Germany, but misses and nearly falls over. Japan calls over from the other side of the room that it's on Britain's side, but stays there. Italy surprises everyone by punching Austria. Australia punches Turkey, and gets punched back. There are no hard feelings because Britain made Australia do it. France gets thrown through a plate glass window, but gets back up and carries on fighting. Russia gets thrown through another one, gets knocked out, suffers brain damage, and wakes up with a complete personality change.
Italy throws a punch at Austria and misses, but Austria falls over anyway. Italy raises both fists in the air and runs round the room chanting. America waits till Germany is about to fall over from sustained punching from Britain and France, then walks over and smashes it with a bar stool, then pretends it won the fight all by itself. By now all the chairs are broken and the big mirror over the bar is shattered. Britain, France and America agree that Germany threw the first punch, so the whole thing is Germany's fault . While Germany is still unconscious, they go through its pockets, steal its wallet, and buy drinks for all their friends.