Misery Jokes
20 misery jokes and hilarious misery puns to laugh out loud. Read jokes about misery that are clean and suitable for kids and friends.
Experience misery, love it and laugh at it with this unique collection of misery jokes that Sue gathered. From the wretched depths of human institutions to the depths of despair, this collection of jokes will make you smile despite the sadness of the situation.
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Funniest Misery Short Jokes
Short misery jokes and puns are one of the best ways to have fun with word play in English. The misery humour may include short sadness jokes also.
- Winds of 108mph, structural damage, flying debris, massive depression, icy blasts, communication difficulties, untold misery and suffering... Yes, I forgot our anniversary again.
- If you could save a child from a horrible disease and a lifetime of misery, or have a light saber... what color would you pick?
- I suffer from depression, but my aunt, who dotes on me, always knows how to cheer me up you could say she's the perfect auntie-dote to my misery
- After being shorted by hedge funds, Gamestop, AMC, Blackberry and Nokia are watching those funds cry about their losses I guess you could say those... companies love misery
- What do you call a cow with no legs? A very deformed animal that should be put out of its misery.
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Misery One Liners
Which misery one liners are funny enough to crack down and make fun with misery? I can suggest the ones about miserably and suffering.
- Why can't you own just one Stephen King novel? Because 'Misery' loves company.
- What state do you live in? A state of constant misery
- After missing that catch, Brady should be given a tour of the pit of misery. Dilly dilly!
- Money can't buy happiness, but it sure makes misery easier to live with.
- I kind of wish my cat's name was misery Because misery loves company
- Light at the end of the tunnel, my misery will be over so soon! It's an oncoming train!
- Why are people so sad in Ferguson? Because they live in misery
Happy Misery Jokes for a Lighthearted Night with Friends
What funny jokes about misery you can tell and make people laugh? An example I can give is a clean sorrows jokes that will for sure put a smile on everyones mouth and help you make misery pranks.
A guy calls 911 and says: "I hit a pig on the side of the highway, what do I do?"
The operator replies: "If it's still alive, put it out of its misery."
The operator hears a gunshot and then the man comes back on the phone.
"Done, now what do I do with his motorcycle?"
My wife came home from golfing with the girls and she seemed upset
I asked what's wrong, and she said I was in misery all day. I got stung by a hornet between the first and second holes
I said, Your stance is too wide.
Lately I've noticed a strange fascination shared by everybody that comes over to my house. They can't seem to get enough of this one Stephen King book I have on my shelf.
I guess it's true what they say; company loves Misery.
People who use drugs are pathetic. I'm high on life!
Side effects of life are include depression, anxiety, pain both emotional and physical, shortness of breath, physical and mental deterioration, weariness, sleepiness, insomnia, thought of s**..., and misery. Prolonged use may result in death.
The Old Man and the Burdensome Load
An old man was tasked with carrying a bundle of sticks from his home to the next town over, and it was a terrible task. The bundle was very heavy, and the journey was many miles through harsh terrain. After many days, he could bear it no longer. His feet were blistered, his t**... was dry, and he was too tired to go on. In his misery, he called for Death.
Death appeared to him, clad in a black robe and carrying his scythe. The old man fell to his knees. "Thank you so much for coming to me in my time of need!" He cried with joy. "You can help me carry these sticks!"
Mom: Why don't you talk to John anymore?
Mom: Why don't you talk to John anymore?
Me: If you get to know one of your friends harasses women when he sees them alone, does drugs, throws stones at stray animals and laughs at their misery, gets into fights for no reason, abuses his girlfriend and bunks classes, would you still talk to him?
Mom: No way!
Me: Neither will John.
Even the first puns ever were corny
The first pun ever recorded is in the Epic of Gilgamesh. It states that the heavens will drop kibtu which stands for corn. But kibtu was a pun for kibittu which means misery. I guess even the first puns were corny...
Catskill resort joke
Two elderly women are at a Catskill mountain resort, and one of 'em says,
"Boy, the food at this place is really terrible."
The other one says,
"Yeah, I know; and such small portions."
Well, that's essentially how I feel about life - full of loneliness, and misery, and suffering, and unhappiness, and it's all over much too quickly.”
