Misc Jokes
100 misc jokes and hilarious misc puns to laugh out loud. Read jokes about misc that are clean and suitable for kids and friends.
Share These Misc Jokes With Friends
Quirky and Hilarious Misc Jokes to Let the Chuckles Begin.
What is a good misc joke to make people laugh? Check out this list of funny stories that will for sure put a smile on everyones mouth.
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
p**... jokes aren't funny. Period.
An Amish husband, wife and son travel to the city on vacation.
They visit a shopping mall and while the mother is shopping, the father and son are standing in awe in front of an elevator (having no idea what it is). As they watch, an elderly lady walks into the strange silver doors and the doors close. The father and son watch as the numbers go up, and then back down. When the doors open, a beautiful young woman walks out. The father leans over and whispers to the son, "Son, go get your mother!"
Step 1: Name your iPhone "Titanic."
Step 2: Plug it into your computer.
Step 3: When iTunes says "Titanic is syncing," press cancel.
Step 4: Feel like a hero.
Q: Why did the painting go to jail?
A: It was framed.
If number two pencils are so popular why are they still number two?
Q: If you were forced to go through one of the following doors, which door do you go through with 100 % certainty you'd stay alive: a door with a man with a gun behind it, a door with a tiger who hasn't eaten in 7 years behind it, or a door with an electrical chair behind it?
A: The one with the tiger behind it, because if it hasn't eaten in 7 years it's dead.
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
Two mental patients were walking next to a swimming pool.
One jumped into the pool and the other jumped in to save him. Their doctor saw the rescue and called the rescuer to his office. "Due to your actions, it appears your mental state is fine," the doctor said to the patient, "You can go home to your family, but before you do, you should know that the person you saved hung himself today." The patient replied, "He didn't hang himself; I hung him there to dry."
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
An old man goes into the Social Security Office and fills out an application.
Too old to have a birth certificate, he is asked to prove he is old enough. He opens his shirt and shows them the gray hair on his chest and they accept that as proof. He goes home to his wife, shows her the check, and explains to her what has happened. She replies, "Well get back down there, pull down your pants, and see if you can get disability!"
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
There were two cannibals who captured a man.
They decided it would be fair if they started eating from opposite ends. After a few minutes, the one who started at the head asked the other one, "How's it going down there?" And the other one replies, "I'm having a ball!"
Q. What did the pop star do when he locked himself out?
A. He sang until he found the right key!
Three old friends got together and were discussing what movie they had watched when they conceived their children. One lady says she had just watched a movie called The Search for One-eye Jimmy and nine months later she gave birth to her baby. Another lady says, "Oh, I saw the movie Snow White and the Seven Dwarfs and then nine months later I had septuplets." The last lady gasps and exclaims, "Oh no, I just watched 101 Dalmations!"
Q: Why don't cannibals eat comedians?
A: They taste funny.
Q: Why did the tofu cross the road?
A: To prove he wasn't chicken.
An American Indian boy goes to his mother one day with a puzzled look on his face.
“Mom, why is my big brother named Mighty Storm?” “Because he was conceived during a mighty storm.” “Why is my sister named Cornflower?” “Well, your father and I were in a cornfield when we made her." "And why is my other sister called Moonchild?” "We were watching the moon landing while she was conceived. Tell me, Torn Rubber, why are you so curious?”
Q: Why did the reporter rush into the ice cream shop?
A: He was looking for a scoop.
A woman named Shirley was from Beverly Hills.
One day, she had a heart attack and was taken to Cedars Sinai Hospital. While on the operating table, she had a near death experience. She saw God and asked, “Is this it?”
God said, “No, you have another 30 to 40 years to live.”
Upon her recovery, she decided to stay in the hospital and have collagen shots, cheek implants, a face lift, liposuction, and breast augmentation. She even had someone dye her hair. She figured since she had another 30 to 40 years, she might as well make the most of it.
She walked out of Cedars Sinai lobby after the last operation, and was killed by an ambulance speeding up to the hospital. She arrived in front of God and said, “I thought you said I had another 30 to 40 years?”
God replied, “Shirley! I’m sorry but I didn’t recognize you!”
Q: Why is a river rich? A: Because it has two banks.
When someone yawns, do deaf people think they're screaming?
Q: What is the difference between a Harley and a vacuum cleaner?
A: The location of the dirt bag.
A man was involved in an auto accident.
A policeman ran up to the car and asked, "Are you seriously injured?" The man said, "How should I know? I'm a doctor not a lawyer."
Q: What runs but never walks?
A: Water.
Q: What does half of an apple look like?
A: The other half.
Share These Misc Jokes With Friends
Misc One Liners
Which misc one liners are funny enough to crack down and make fun with misc? I can suggest the ones about comp and miss.
- What folder does Tesla keep their various files Elon's Misc.
