Mirror Jokes
128 mirror jokes and hilarious mirror puns to laugh out loud. Read jokes about mirror that are clean and suitable for kids and friends.
Discover hilarious jokes about mirrors and reflections that will have you laughing out loud! From mirror selfie jokes to mirror picture puns, exploring the ways we interact with mirrors is more than entertaining-- it's downright funny! Read on to find out what kinds of jokes you can make about reflecting in the mirror!
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Funniest Mirror Short Jokes
Short mirror jokes and puns are one of the best ways to have fun with word play in English. The mirror humour may include short reflection jokes also.
- Terrible night. Dreamt something bit me on the neck. Got up to check, but the mirror wasn't working.
- My English friend was shocked to find out that his ancestors came from Transylvania. Now he can't even look at himself in the mirror.
- I think I want a job cleaning mirrors. It's just something I could really see myself doing.
- Dad puts the car in reverse, looks in the rearview mirror and says... "Ah, that takes me back."
- If Jesus was on a penny they would call it a JC Penny I get sad every time I look in a mirror
- Give me a compliment. A woman looks into the mirror and says to her husband: "I feel fat, old and ugly, give me a compliment". The man replies: "Your eyes are still working great".
- I'm considering a job installing mirrors, the pay isn't great But it's a job I can see myself doing
- I spent my whole life being proud of my British heritage until I found out that my Great Grandfather was actually from Transylvania Now I can't even look myself in the mirror.
- A young man robbed a bank wearing a suit made of many mirrors But he turned himself in after taking some time to reflect.
Luckily the judge was lenient as he saw a lot of himself in the young man. - A woman walks into a butcher shop "How much for the pig's head?"
"Ma'am, that's a mirror"
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Mirror One Liners
Which mirror one liners are funny enough to crack down and make fun with mirror? I can suggest the ones about iris and illusion.
- Why do french tanks have rear view mirrors? To see the battlefield
- The problem with kissing a perfect 10 Is how cold the mirror feels on your lips.
- What did the Avacado say to itself in the mirror? You are 'fat' but you are 'good fat'
- I redid my entire house with mirrors... You could say it really reflects who I am.
- An ugly, broke, single man stood in my way So I moved the mirror
- Sometimes I like to stand in front of a mirror and reflect.
- When you look really closely,.. all mirrors look like eyeballs.
- Why do French tanks have mirrors? So they could see the battle.
- I'd love to get myself a job inspecting mirrors! I could really see myself doing that.
- I'm rather ashamed to say I haven't cleaned my mirror in years. It reflects badly on me.
- Making mirrors sounds like a good job It's definitely something i can see myself doing
- I've finally found a job I can see myself in. I start at the mirror factory tomorrow!
- I've always wanted to be a mirror salesman It's just something I could see myself doing
- Thought I saw God in my rear-view mirror yesterday... Turns out it was just a dog.
- I've always had a deep connection with mirrors I see a lot of myself in them
Mirror Reflection Jokes
Here is a list of funny mirror reflection jokes and even better mirror reflection puns that will make you laugh with friends.
- Did you hear about the guy who got slapped by his reflection whenever he looked at a mirror? The resemblance was striking.
- After years of reflection I've decided to stop selling mirrors
- In News Today, a fight was started downtown by a man wearing a suit completely made of mirrors..... The police said the man apologised once he had time to sit down and reflect.
- Whenever I'm feeling stressed I go to the house of mirrors... I find it's a really great place to reflect.
- I got locked in a mirror shop last night. On the plus side, it gave me time to reflect.
- I used to hate mirrors But upon reflection, I decided that I really don't.
- I heard that you should always look into a mirror before making a big decision It helps you reflect.
- As of today, possession of mirrors will be outlawed. This decision comes after a lot of reflection.
- Why are mirror makers proud of what they do? Their work is a reflection of themselves.
- I grew up working in my Dad's mirror factory. Upon reflection, it really changed my view of the world.
Rear View Mirror Jokes
Here is a list of funny rear view mirror jokes and even better rear view mirror puns that will make you laugh with friends.
- The rear view mirror fell out of my car a couple of months ago and I have never replaced it. Haven't looked back since.
- You know you're drunk when you've got to swerve to avoid a pine tree in the middle of the road... ...only to realize it was the air freshener hanging from your rear view mirror.
- Why did Jack get hit by a sport car going in reverse during his exercise? Because the driver can't see jack squat in the rear view mirror.
- I write my mistresses' phone numbers on the rear view mirror. I know my wife would never think to look there.
- Red white and blue stand for freedom Right up until you see them flashing in your rear view mirror
- How do you look at your own backside? Using a rear-view mirror.
- A few years ago I got offered a job making rear view mirrors.. Looking back, I should've taken it.
- How do you distinguish a French tank from a British tank? The rear-view mirrors
- Did you hear about the latest innovation in french tanks? Rear view mirrors so they can see the battles going on.
- I used to complain about the bright car lights in my rear view mirror I removed it awhile ago, and haven't looked back since.
Mirror Picture Jokes
Here is a list of funny mirror picture jokes and even better mirror picture puns that will make you laugh with friends.
- My buddy took some amazing pictures of himself with a cigar, hanging out in a funhouse. When I asked him how he did it, he said "It's all Smoke and Mirrors".
- A BLONDE'S SPECIAL PICTURE Q: Why did the blonde keep a picture of herself in her room?
A: So she could use it as a mirror. - Can someone just invent a mirror that takes pictures already!
Magic Mirror Jokes
Here is a list of funny magic mirror jokes and even better magic mirror puns that will make you laugh with friends.
- Iron Man stands in front of his magic mirror one morning, "Mirror, mirror on the wall, who's the ferrous of them all?"
- Did you hear about the fire at the magic shop? meh, it was all smoke and mirrors.
- Magic Johnson walks into the mirror portion of a fun house... Visual Aids.
- I built a magic mirror. Just kidding, no I didn't.
Mirror Selfie Jokes
Here is a list of funny mirror selfie jokes and even better mirror selfie puns that will make you laugh with friends.
- What does cheese say to itself when taking a selfie in the mirror? Hallooooo me!
Cheeky Mirror Jokes that Will Make You and Your Friends Chuckle
What funny jokes about mirror you can tell and make people laugh? An example I can give is a clean shadow jokes that will for sure put a smile on everyones mouth and help you make mirror pranks.
A women steps out of the shower and drops her towel...
A women steps out of the shower and drops her towel. She stands in front of the mirror in her bedroom. "I hate my body, i'm too fat", she says sadly to her husband on their bed. "I'm feeling a little down after that, i could use a pick me up. Compliment me?" she says. He says back, "Well for one thing your eyesight is great!"
A blonde cop pulls over a blonde driver
A blonde cop pulls over a blonde driving her car. The blonde cop says "You were going pretty fast back there. Can I see your license?"
The blonde driver looks confused.
The blonde cop says "Its a little square thing with your picture on it"
The blonde driver reaches in her bag and hands the cop her makeup mirror.
The cop takes the mirror, looks at it and exclaims "Well why didn't you tell me you were a cop? On you go. Have a great day".
The Magic Mirror
In this public toilet, there's this magic mirror. Whenever you say something untruthful you disappear.
A red head walks into the toilets and says "I think I have the best legs in the world" and puff...she's gone.
Next a brunette walks into the toilets and says "I think I have the most sexist eyes" and puff...she's gone
Finally a blonde walks into the toilets and says "I think..." and puff she's gone!
My flight instructor told me this one. Nothing to do with flying.
A man's wife is staring at herself in the mirror and frowning. She turns to her husband and says "Honey, I feel fat, old, and ugly. I could really use a compliment right now." To which the husband replies "Darling, your eyesight is impeccable."
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
How do you drive a girl insane?
Give her new clothes and lock her inside a room without a mirror
Lipstick Girls
A principal of a small middle school had a problem with a few of the older girls starting to use lipstick. When applying it in the bathroom they would then press their lips to the mirror and leave lip prints.
Before it got out of hand he thought of a way to stop it. He gathered all the girls together that wore lipstick and told them he wanted to meet with them in the ladies room at 2pm. They gathered at 2pm and found the principal and the school custodian waiting for them.
The principal explained that it was becoming a problem for the custodian to clean the mirror every night. He said he felt the ladies did not fully understand just how much of a problem it was and he wanted them to witness just how hard it was to clean.
The custodian then demonstrated. He took a long brush on a handle out of a box. He then dipped the brush in the nearest toilet, moved to the mirror and proceeded to remove the lipstick.
That was the last day the girls pressed their lips on the mirror.
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
two blondes and a mirror
two blondes are walking along together when one of the pulls out her make up mirror, looking in to the mirror she says
"oh there is a face in there, wow that face looks familiar, where do I know that face from?"
Her friend grabs the mirror from her, has a long look and replies
"you idiot, that's me!"
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
Two Blondes on a Street
Two blondes are walking down the street. One notices a compact on the sidewalk and leans down to pick it up. She opens it, looks in the mirror and says, "Hmm, this person looks familiar." The second blonde says, "Here, let me see!" So the first blonde hands her the compact. The second one looks in the mirror and says, "You d**..., it's me!"
Kiss The Mirror
A middle school for girls was faced with a unique problem. A number of girls were beginning to use lipstick and would put it on in the bathroom. That was fine, but after they put on their lipstick they would press their lips to the mirrors leaving dozens of little lip prints. Finally the principal decided that something had to be done. She called several of the girls to the bathroom and met them there with the custodian. She explained that all these lip prints were causing a major problem for the custodian who had to clean the mirrors every day. To demonstrate how much work they were making for the custodian, she asked him to clean one of the mirrors while the girls watched. The custodian took a long-handled brush, dipped it into the nearest toilet, and proceeded to scrub the mirror. From that day on, the problem of lip prints on the mirrors was completely eliminated.
A guy is doing 90 in a 75 and sees lights from a patrol car in the mirror...
He thinks furiously for a moment and then floors it, 95... 100.. 110... Finally, with the officer still hot on his tail he slows to a crawl and pulls over to the roadside.
The officer, obviously on edge, cautiously approaches the car as the man rolls down the window and places hands out where they can easily be seen.
"You were going a little fast there," the officer says "but it is the end of my shift and tonight the boys are coming over for beers and cards, so you have exactly one chance to explain yourself."
The man, with all the sincerity he could muster, replied "Sir, round about a year ago my wife left me for a state trooper. I tell ya, that nag leaving was the best thing that ever happened to me and I knew it was too good to be true because when I saw your lights in the rearview, I could have sworn you were bringing her back."
The officer paused for a moment and said "Have a nice day and drive safe."
A girl looks at the mirror and says "Mom, I look really ugly, can you compliment me and make me feel better?"
The mother says "Wow you have really good eyesight!"
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
LPT: If you are a minor, get rid of your bathroom mirror so you won't see yourself n**... and accidentally get arrested and registered as a s**... offender.
Spread the word.
A narcissist walks into a bar...
A narcissist walks into a bar and orders a drink for the handsome gent winking at him from the opposite side of the room.
The bartender looks around.
"Sir, that's a mirror."
Will You Still Love Me???
Ah, marriage. I was standing in front of the bathroom mirror one evening admiring my reflection, when I posed this question to my wife of 30 years: Will you still love me when I'm old, fat, and balding?
She answered, I do.
My wife accused me of fogging up our bathroom mirror
But I really can't see myself doing that.
A police officer pulled me over and said "Sir, please identify yourself"
So I took out a mirror and replied "yeah, it's me"
The driver & Police
Police officer: "Can you identify yourself, sir?"
Driver pulls out his mirror and says: "Yes, it's me."
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
"Honey, I think I'm ugly...."
So I pulled her infront of a mirror, stood right next to her and said:
"Darling, I mean look a that s**... smile, that beautiful hair and those eyes....Just wow. No wonder you feel ugly next to me!"
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
As I looked at my n**... body in the mirror...
I thought to myself, "I'm going to get kicked out of Ikea any moment now."
A blonde cop stops a blonde motorist...
A blonde cop stops blonde motorist and asks for her driving license.
The Motorist scuffles around in her purse and can't find it. She says to the cop, "I must have left it at home officer."
The cop says, "Well, do you have any kind of identification?" The motorist scuffles around in her purse again, and finds a pocket mirror.
She looks at it and says to the cop, "All I have is this picture of myself." The cop says, "Let me see it, then." So the blonde motorist gives the mirror to the blonde cop, who looks at it, and replies, "Well, if I had known you were a police officer, I wouldn't have even pulled you over. You can go now."
A woman is looking at herself in the mirror
"Ugh I look so old! My skin is sagging, my hair is turning gray, I've got crows feet..."
Her husband says, "well, at least your eyesight is intact."
My wife looked at herself in the mirror and said to me...
'All I see is a fat, ugly woman, can you say something nice about me to make me feel better'
'Of course' I replied 'Your eyesight is perfect'
Blonde gets caught speeding.
The cop is also a blonde.
Cop: Let me see your driver's license.
Driver: What's that?
Cop: A square thing with your picture on it.
Blonde fumbles through her purse, finds a mirror, sees herself in it, and hands it to the cop.
Cop looks at it, hands it back and says,
I'm gonna let you go without a ticket. I didn't know you were a cop.
(
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
I hate it when I go to hug someone really s**......
and my face smashes right into the mirror.
A blonde girl gets pulled over by a blonde police officer for speeding...
The Police officer asks for a drivers license & the blonde starts going through her bag looking for it.
She's getting increasingly frustrated as she looks for the drivers license & asks the police officer for assistance.
The blonde asks: "I'm having trouble finding it... Can you please tell me what it is suppose to look like?"
The officer responds: "Sure, it's just a square that has your picture on it."
After a bit more rustling through her bag, she pulls out a square mirror and hands it to the police officer.
The police officer looks at the mirror and says: "Oh, I'm so sorry... I didn't realise you were a police officer! You can go"
Can someone explain this joke my dad told me?
My dad told me there was a joke inside of the mirror but all I ever see is that one kid he always hates and gets mad at.
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
m**... while looking in a mirror isn't wrong.
Unless it's a rear view mirror, and you're driving a school bus
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
An idiot has a mirror in his closet
He wakes up one night and opens the closet and he sees himself. Scared, he quickly calls the cops
"Police! There's a burglar in my closet, come quickly!"
A police man arrives at the idiots house and opens the closet and finds the mirror. He takes a step back and slaps the idiot as hard as he can
"Why did you call me when you already had a policeman inside?!"
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
There is a magic mirror that will make anyone who lies disappear.
First, an old lady stands before it and tells herself, "I think I look young." And *p**...* she vanishes.
Next, an ugly woman looks at her reflection and says, "I think I am beautiful." And *p**...* she also disappears.
Then, a blonde woman takes her turn with the mirror. "I think..." and *p**...* she's gone.
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
The wife looks at herself in the mirror and complain to her husband: I am so ugly and wrinkle and fat. Do I even have any good traits?
The husband put down his newspaper and slowly answer: Your eyesight is excellent darling
An elderly woman called 911...
An elderly woman called 911 from her cell phone to report that her car had been broken into.
"They've stolen everything! My radio is gone, my center console is gone, my mirror and the rosary beads hanging from it...even the steering wheel!"
The dispatcher responds that an officer is on the way.
Minutes later, the officer arrives and radios back into dispatch.
"Disregard that last call. She got in the back seat by mistake."
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
I was out drinking with a friend and saw two old drunks across the bar. I said, that's totally going to be us in 10 years.
He said, that's a mirror, d**....
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
The best way to lose weight is to eat n**... in front of a mirror.
The restaurant will ask you to leave before you can eat too much.
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
A beer bottle, a mirror, and a c**... are all talking to each other....
beer Bottle: You break me, you get 1 year of bad luck!
Mirror: You kiddin' me? You break me, then y'all get 7 years bad luck!
c**...: Hahaha... (c**... walks off laughing)
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
How do you know a blonde has been trying to commit s**...?
There are bullet holes in the mirror.
A blonde gets pulled over for speeding
A blonde woman was speeding down the road in her little red sports car and was pulled over by a female police officer, who was also a blonde.
The officer asked to see the lady's driver's license. She dug through her purse and was getting progressively more agitated.
"What does it look like?" she finally asked.
The officer replied, "It's square and it has your picture on it."
The driver finally found a mirror in her purse, looked at it and handed it to the officer. "Here it is," she said.
The officer looked at the mirror, then handed it back saying, "Okay, you can go. I didn't realize you were a cop."
I wanted to make the best joke in the world - something short that everyone would laugh at.
Then I looked in the mirror and realized my dad already did it.
A blonde cop pulls over a blonde driver
The cop tells the driver "License please."
"What is a license?" the driver answers.
The cop replies "it goes in your wallet, has a picture of you on it..."
As the blonde driver digs through her purse, after a while she pulls an object out, looks at it for a second, smiles, says "Found it! Here you go officer!" and hands a mirror to the cop.
The cop takes off her aviators, looks in the mirror, rolls her eyes, and hands it back to the driver.
"If I knew you were a cop, I wouldn't have pulled you over!"
A 13 month old baby breaks a mirror, giving it 7 years of bad luck.
The good news, his mom is an anti-vaxxer.
"Honey, do I look fat ?"
Asked the wife as she stood in front of the mirror.
"No, not at all..", the husband replied, "You look fabulous !!"
Wife, blushing, "Really ! Will you carry me to the fridge ? I want to eat some ice cream.. "
Husband, now visibly scared; "Don't you worry babe, just relax here ! I will just go get the fridge.. "
Joke translated to English from German
A blonde is driving home when she gets pulled over by a police officer.
"Mam, may i see you driving license?!"
"What's a driving license? "
"You know this thing in your purse with your face on..."
She starts digging through her purse, finds her cosmetic mirror, and hands it over to the policeman.
The policeman takes a look at the mirror and responds-
"Should have told me right away your a police officer too "
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
I was really proud of my heritage until I found out that my great grandfather was from Transylvania.
Now I can't even look at myself in the mirror.
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
A vampire m**... in front of a mirror
Bet you didn't see that coming.
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
I just can't ever see myself putting anything up my own b**...
So I got a mirror.
A man went to see a doctor and told the doctor, "Every morning when I see myself in the mirror I feel like throwing up. What's wrong with me?"
"I don't know," said the doctor, "but your eyesight is perfect!"
(Cr
How I lost my job as a hairdresser.
I had just about finished styling a very wealthy lady's hair. I put down the hair dryer, and placed a hand mirror behind her head. "OK, how's that?", I asked.
She sniffed, and said "more volume."
#"OK, HOW'S THAT!?"
Me: I want to be a mirror cleaner when I grow up
Mum: why's that?
Me: It's something I can see myself doing
Mum: ...
My friend was really proud of his British heritage until he found out that his grandfather was from Transylvania.
Now he can't even look at himself in the mirror.
A Blonde woman was speeding down the road and was pulled over by a female police officer, who was also a blonde.
The blonde Cop asked to see the blonde driver's license. She dug through her purse and was getting progressively more agitated.
'What does it look like?' she finally asked. The policewoman replied, 'It's square and it has you picture on it.'
The driver finally found a square mirror in her purse, looked at it and handed it to the policewoman. 'Here it is,' she said.
The Blonde officer looked at the mirror, then handed it back saying, OK, you can go. I didn't realize you were a cop…
As I stood infront of the mirror, combing my hair to one side, I couldn't help but shed a tear.
Alas, parting is such sweet sorrow.
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
Bloke goes to a doctor and says 'Why is it that every time I look in the mirror, I get an e**...?'
Doctor says 'It's because you look like a t**...!'
LPT: NEVER hang your drivers license from your rearview mirror!
You risk being pulled over for driving with a suspended license.
Are you Blonde?
A blond cop pulls over a blond and asks for her drivers license. The blond starts looking through her car then asks, "Uhh, what are they again?"
The blond cop replies, "Ugh. It's the thing in your purse with your picture on it." "Oh yeah," says the blond who reaches in her purse, pulls out a compact mirror, and hands it over. The blond cop opens it, takes a look inside, hands it back, and says, "I'm sorry ma'am. If I knew you were a cop, I wouldn't have pulled you over."
David Beckham gets in a taxi at Dublin Airport and notices the driver keep looking in his rear view mirror at him.
After about 5 minutes the driver says "Go on then give me a clue!?"
Beckham replies, "I had a glittering career with Man Utd, played over 100 times for England and married a spice girl, is that enough?".
Driver says "No mate, I meant where are you going?"
Just a schoolgirl waiting for her dad…
While waiting for my dad, two of the school janitors came outside and started smoking a joint.
When my dad saw us, he ran into the cloud of smoke, grabbed me by the arm and shoved me into the car!
What's wrong with you? Why are you angry at ME? I protested. I didn't even do anything!
He glared at me in the rear view mirror. I will not have any daughter of mine wasting her time with high maintenance people!
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
Two policemen are walking down the street and they find a mirror.
First one picks it up, looks at it and says: "Holy s**... man, this dude looks so familiar."
Other one looks at it and says: "Man you're right! We better take this to the captain!"
When they come to the police station they show the mirror to the captain and ask him if he knows this man. Captain: "Of course i know him! He always sits opposite of me at the barber shop."
A blonde driver and a blonde cop....
A blonde woman is speeding down the highway and gets pulled over by a blonde cop, the cop goes up to the blonde's window and says "I need to see your license ma'am." The driver says she doesn't know what that is and the lady officer says "It's that little thing in your purse with your face in it." The driver pulls out her compact mirror and holds it up to the cop, "You mean this?" The blonde cop looks at the mirror and says, "I'm so sorry ma'am, I didn't know you were a cop, have a nice day."
Somebody told me that I look like a vampire.
I looked in the mirror but I just don't see it.
A blonde woman is speeding down an empty road when she's pulled over by a blonde cop. The cop walks up to her window and asks for her driver's license.
Driver's license? the blonde driver asks, somewhat confused.
You know, the little rectangle with your face on it that you keep in your purse, the blonde cop explains patiently.
Oh, that! the blonde driver exclaims. She digs around in her purse and finally pulls out a small rectangular mirror, which she hands to the blonde cop.
The blonde cop looks at the mirror and exclaims, Oh, I'm sorry, ma'am, you're free to go…I didn't realize you were a cop!
A vampire decided to use his immortality to research the best career
He tried every type of job there was, from innovation to construction to civil service, and he landed on the job of mirror cleaner.
In his book on the subject, he said that the tai chi like motions of the arms were very relaxing, and the mirror will certainly get dirty again leading to job security.
"I'm as surprised as you are," wrote the vampire. "It was not a job I could see myself doing."
My girlfriend has always been a bit on the heavy side
One morning, while standing in front of the mirror together she asked me if she should change anything in her life. I said, go workout and lose 20-30 pounds, it would change you for the better. At that moment, the sheer passion I saw in her eyes I will never forget.
After the first day, I didn't see anything. To be expected of course, these things take time. Three days later, nothing. A week later, nothing. Two weeks later, and I finally started to see something. Thank god for that, I thought she knocked the light out of my eyes for good.
My wife spoke to me while staring into her mirror, she said 'I'm old, getting fat and look like I haven't slept for a week, I need a compliment'
I said 'Your eyesight is perfect'
I was in an interview and they asked me where I see myself in 10 years
I said the same place I see myself now, in the mirror
What is similar to windows but can instantly detect the cause of most common computer-problems?
A mirror
My friend betrayed me on the test when I asked him where the light rays parallel to the principle axis of a concave mirror meet
I mean, he did try to motivate me by shouting "Focus! Focus!", but that hardly helps.
British joke
According to legend if at midnight you look in a mirror and say the words "workers rights" 3 times Liz Truss appears and takes them away
