Mirror Jokes
134 mirror jokes and hilarious mirror puns to laugh out loud. Read jokes about mirror that are clean and suitable for kids and friends.
Discover hilarious jokes about mirrors and reflections that will have you laughing out loud! From mirror selfie jokes to mirror picture puns, exploring the ways we interact with mirrors is more than entertaining-- it's downright funny! Read on to find out what kinds of jokes you can make about reflecting in the mirror!
Quick Jump To
Funniest Mirror Short Jokes
Short mirror jokes and puns are one of the best ways to have fun with word play in English. The mirror humour may include short reflection jokes also.
- Terrible night. Dreamt something bit me on the neck. Got up to check, but the mirror wasn't working.
- My English friend was shocked to find out that his ancestors came from Transylvania. Now he can't even look at himself in the mirror.
- I think I want a job cleaning mirrors. It's just something I could really see myself doing.
- Dad puts the car in reverse, looks in the rearview mirror and says... "Ah, that takes me back."
- If Jesus was on a penny they would call it a JC Penny I get sad every time I look in a mirror
- Give me a compliment. A woman looks into the mirror and says to her husband: "I feel fat, old and ugly, give me a compliment". The man replies: "Your eyes are still working great".
- I'm considering a job installing mirrors, the pay isn't great But it's a job I can see myself doing
- I spent my whole life being proud of my British heritage until I found out that my Great Grandfather was actually from Transylvania Now I can't even look myself in the mirror.
- A young man robbed a bank wearing a suit made of many mirrors But he turned himself in after taking some time to reflect.
Luckily the judge was lenient as he saw a lot of himself in the young man. - A woman walks into a butcher shop "How much for the pig's head?"
"Ma'am, that's a mirror"
Share These Mirror Jokes With Friends
Mirror One Liners
Which mirror one liners are funny enough to crack down and make fun with mirror? I can suggest the ones about iris and illusion.
- Why do french tanks have rear view mirrors? To see the battlefield
- Why do french tanks have rearway mirrors? So the drivers could see the battlefield.
- The problem with kissing a perfect 10 Is how cold the mirror feels on your lips.
- What did the Avacado say to itself in the mirror? You are 'fat' but you are 'good fat'
- I redid my entire house with mirrors... You could say it really reflects who I am.
- Why do french tanks have rear mirrors? So they can also see the front lines.
- I should clean mirrors for a living. It's a profession I see myself in.
- An ugly, broke, single man stood in my way So I moved the mirror
- Sometimes I like to stand in front of a mirror and reflect.
- When you look really closely,.. all mirrors look like eyeballs.
- I've always wanted a job cleaning mirrors... It's just something I can see myself doing.
- Why do French tanks have mirrors? So they could see the battle.
- Why do French tanks have rear view mirrors? So that they can watch the battle.
- I'd love to get myself a job inspecting mirrors! I could really see myself doing that.
- Why do French tanks have rear veiw mirrors So they can see the battlefield
Mirror Reflection Jokes
Here is a list of funny mirror reflection jokes and even better mirror reflection puns that will make you laugh with friends.
- I'm rather ashamed to say I haven't cleaned my mirror in years. It reflects badly on me.
- Did you hear about the guy who got slapped by his reflection whenever he looked at a mirror? The resemblance was striking.
- After years of reflection I've decided to stop selling mirrors
- Sometimes I just sit in front of my mirror... and reflect.
- In News Today, a fight was started downtown by a man wearing a suit completely made of mirrors..... The police said the man apologised once he had time to sit down and reflect.
- Whenever I'm feeling stressed I go to the house of mirrors... I find it's a really great place to reflect.
- I got locked in a mirror shop last night. On the plus side, it gave me time to reflect.
- I used to hate mirrors But upon reflection, I decided that I really don't.
- I heard that you should always look into a mirror before making a big decision It helps you reflect.
- A man wearing a mirrored suit.... A man wearing a mirrored suit started a fight downtown.
The police stopped the fight and told the man to reflect on his actions
Rear View Mirror Jokes
Here is a list of funny rear view mirror jokes and even better rear view mirror puns that will make you laugh with friends.
- The rear view mirror fell out of my car a couple of months ago and I have never replaced it. Haven't looked back since.
- Why do University of Alabama graduates place their diplomas on their rear-view mirrors? So they can park in handicap spots.
- Thought I saw God in my rear-view mirror yesterday... Turns out it was just a dog.
- You know you're drunk when you've got to swerve to avoid a pine tree in the middle of the road... ...only to realize it was the air freshener hanging from your rear view mirror.
- Why did the Russian Army install Rear-view mirrors in their Tanks? To see the battlefield.
- Why did Jack get hit by a sport car going in reverse during his exercise? Because the driver can't see jack squat in the rear view mirror.
- Why do French tanks come equipped with rear view mirrors? So they can see the battle.
- In the United States the colors red white and blue represent freedom. Unless they see it in their rear view mirror.
- French tanks are the only ones in the world equipped with rear view mirrors. This is so they can see the battlefield when they are driving.
- I write my mistresses' phone numbers on the rear view mirror. I know my wife would never think to look there.
Mirror Picture Jokes
Here is a list of funny mirror picture jokes and even better mirror picture puns that will make you laugh with friends.
- My friend has a habit of taking blurry pictures of himself in the bathroom mirror after taking hot showers... I thunk he has a high selfie steam problem.
- My buddy took some amazing pictures of himself with a cigar, hanging out in a funhouse. When I asked him how he did it, he said "It's all Smoke and Mirrors".
- A BLONDE'S SPECIAL PICTURE Q: Why did the blonde keep a picture of herself in her room?
A: So she could use it as a mirror. - Can someone just invent a mirror that takes pictures already!
- I hate taking pictures of mirrors. The pictures always come out with some a**hole in them.
Magic Mirror Jokes
Here is a list of funny magic mirror jokes and even better magic mirror puns that will make you laugh with friends.
- Iron Man stands in front of his magic mirror one morning, "Mirror, mirror on the wall, who's the ferrous of them all?"
- Did you hear about the fire at the magic shop? meh, it was all smoke and mirrors.
- Magic Johnson walks into the mirror portion of a fun house... Visual Aids.
- I built a magic mirror. Just kidding, no I didn't.
- Magic Mirror Mirror Mirror in my hand, show me the ugliest person in the land.
- What kind of magic does a magician use if he addicted to h**... drugs? "Coke and mirrors."
:)
Mirror Selfie Jokes
Here is a list of funny mirror selfie jokes and even better mirror selfie puns that will make you laugh with friends.
- What does cheese say to itself when taking a selfie in the mirror? Hallooooo me!
Cheeky Mirror Jokes that Will Make You and Your Friends Chuckle
What funny jokes about mirror you can tell and make people laugh? An example I can give is a clean shadow jokes that will for sure put a smile on everyones mouth and help you make mirror pranks.
Good eyes
A woman standing in front of a mirror and telling her husbband: "I am fat, old, wrinkled and no longer pretty. But will you still give me a compliment?
The husband replies: "Your eyesight is still excellent".
My flight instructor told me this one. Nothing to do with flying.
A man's wife is staring at herself in the mirror and frowning. She turns to her husband and says "Honey, I feel fat, old, and ugly. I could really use a compliment right now." To which the husband replies "Darling, your eyesight is impeccable."
Lipstick Girls
A principal of a small middle school had a problem with a few of the older girls starting to use lipstick. When applying it in the bathroom they would then press their lips to the mirror and leave lip prints.
Before it got out of hand he thought of a way to stop it. He gathered all the girls together that wore lipstick and told them he wanted to meet with them in the ladies room at 2pm. They gathered at 2pm and found the principal and the school custodian waiting for them.
The principal explained that it was becoming a problem for the custodian to clean the mirror every night. He said he felt the ladies did not fully understand just how much of a problem it was and he wanted them to witness just how hard it was to clean.
The custodian then demonstrated. He took a long brush on a handle out of a box. He then dipped the brush in the nearest toilet, moved to the mirror and proceeded to remove the lipstick.
That was the last day the girls pressed their lips on the mirror.
Two old drunks
I was sitting in a bar with my friend and I noticed two old drunks across the bar from us. I laughed and said, "That's us in ten years." My friend replied, "That's a mirror, d**...."
My girlfriend was standing n**......
in front of a mirror and she wasn't happy with what she saw.
She said, "I'm fat and I am ugly I really need a compliment right now."
To which I replied, "Well your eyesight is near perfect..."
Kiss The Mirror
A middle school for girls was faced with a unique problem. A number of girls were beginning to use lipstick and would put it on in the bathroom. That was fine, but after they put on their lipstick they would press their lips to the mirrors leaving dozens of little lip prints. Finally the principal decided that something had to be done. She called several of the girls to the bathroom and met them there with the custodian. She explained that all these lip prints were causing a major problem for the custodian who had to clean the mirrors every day. To demonstrate how much work they were making for the custodian, she asked him to clean one of the mirrors while the girls watched. The custodian took a long-handled brush, dipped it into the nearest toilet, and proceeded to scrub the mirror. From that day on, the problem of lip prints on the mirrors was completely eliminated.
Two men are drinking in a bar.
One of them looks across the bar and sees two old drunks sitting at a table. He turns to his friend and says, "In ten years, that'll be us."
His friend looks and says, "That's a mirror, d**...."
I've decided I want to start a career in Mirror Cleaning
It's just something I can see myself doing.
A blonde is speeding down the highway...
When a female officer, another blonde, spots her and pulls her over. She asks the driver for her license...
Blonde driver says, "What's that?"
Blonde Officer : "Its a square with your face on it."
The blonde driver ruffles through her bag and after a few seconds produces a square make-up mirror and hands it to the blonde officer. The officer looks into the mirror and says to the driver, "Why didn't you tell me you were a cop? I woulda let you go!"
A guy is doing 90 in a 75 and sees lights from a patrol car in the mirror...
He thinks furiously for a moment and then floors it, 95... 100.. 110... Finally, with the officer still hot on his tail he slows to a crawl and pulls over to the roadside.
The officer, obviously on edge, cautiously approaches the car as the man rolls down the window and places hands out where they can easily be seen.
"You were going a little fast there," the officer says "but it is the end of my shift and tonight the boys are coming over for beers and cards, so you have exactly one chance to explain yourself."
The man, with all the sincerity he could muster, replied "Sir, round about a year ago my wife left me for a state trooper. I tell ya, that nag leaving was the best thing that ever happened to me and I knew it was too good to be true because when I saw your lights in the rearview, I could have sworn you were bringing her back."
The officer paused for a moment and said "Have a nice day and drive safe."
LPT: If you are a minor, get rid of your bathroom mirror so you won't see yourself n**... and accidentally get arrested and registered as a s**... offender.
Spread the word.
I want a job as a mirror cleaner...
It's something I can see myself doing.
Three ladies.
Three ladies went out to the flee market. A blonde, a redhead and a brunette. They found a magic mirror that told them this "each of you has to say something about herself, if it's true I'll grant you a wish but if it's false I'll kill you ". The ladies agreed, and the redhead said "i have the cutest boyfriend" and the mirror killed her. The brunette said "i have the prettiest car " and the mirror killed her. And the blonde said "wait I'm thinking " and the mirror killed her.
Fin.
A vampire m**... into a mirror.
You didn't see that coming.
My wife accused me of fogging up our bathroom mirror
But I really can't see myself doing that.
A police officer pulled me over and said "Sir, please identify yourself"
So I took out a mirror and replied "yeah, it's me"
What's worse than getting 7 years of bad luck from breaking a mirror?
Getting a lifetime of bad luck from breaking a c**....
"Honey, I think I'm ugly...."
So I pulled her infront of a mirror, stood right next to her and said:
"Darling, I mean look a that s**... smile, that beautiful hair and those eyes....Just wow. No wonder you feel ugly next to me!"
As I looked at my n**... body in the mirror...
I thought to myself, "I'm going to get kicked out of Ikea any moment now."
A blonde tried to commit s**...
Police found six bullet holes in her mirror.
My wife looked at herself in the mirror and said to me...
'All I see is a fat, ugly woman, can you say something nice about me to make me feel better'
'Of course' I replied 'Your eyesight is perfect'
I've finally found a job I can see myself in.
I start at the mirror factory tomorrow!
Blonde gets caught speeding.
The cop is also a blonde.
Cop: Let me see your driver's license.
Driver: What's that?
Cop: A square thing with your picture on it.
Blonde fumbles through her purse, finds a mirror, sees herself in it, and hands it to the cop.
Cop looks at it, hands it back and says,
I'm gonna let you go without a ticket. I didn't know you were a cop.
(
Bad luck
Beer Bottle: You break me, you get 1 year of bad luck!
Mirror: You kiddin' me? You break me, then y'all get 7 years bad luck.
*c**... walks in laughing*
Break a mirror, 7 years of bad luck.
Break a c**..., your bad luck will probably outlive you.
Can someone explain this joke my dad told me?
My dad told me there was a joke inside of the mirror but all I ever see is that one kid he always hates and gets mad at.
A couple of friends are drinking at a bar
One friend spots a couple of old drunks at the end of the bar and says "that'll be us in ten years".
The other friend looks and says "That's a mirror d**...".
m**... while looking in a mirror isn't wrong.
Unless it's a rear view mirror, and you're driving a school bus
An idiot has a mirror in his closet
He wakes up one night and opens the closet and he sees himself. Scared, he quickly calls the cops
"Police! There's a burglar in my closet, come quickly!"
A police man arrives at the idiots house and opens the closet and finds the mirror. He takes a step back and slaps the idiot as hard as he can
"Why did you call me when you already had a policeman inside?!"
I'd really like to start a career in mirror washing
It's something I could really see myself doing.
I was admiring my n**... body in the mirror today, when I said to my wife, "Look at this! 200 pounds of pure dynamite!"
My wife replied, "Too bad about the two inch fuse!"
A woman is standing n**... in front of her bedroom mirror.
"I'm old, saggy and wrinkled," she sighed. Then she turned to her husband who was sitting in bed, reading. "I could really do with you saying something nice, you know."
He looked up. "Your eyesight's perfect."
The problem with kissing a perfect 10 is that
Sometimes it's cold when your lips touch the mirror
The wife looks at herself in the mirror and complain to her husband: I am so ugly and wrinkle and fat. Do I even have any good traits?
The husband put down his newspaper and slowly answer: Your eyesight is excellent darling
I was out drinking with a friend and saw two old drunks across the bar. I said, that's totally going to be us in 10 years.
He said, that's a mirror, d**....
The best way to lose weight is to eat n**... in front of a mirror.
The restaurant will ask you to leave before you can eat too much.
A beer bottle, a mirror, and a c**... are all talking to each other....
beer Bottle: You break me, you get 1 year of bad luck!
Mirror: You kiddin' me? You break me, then y'all get 7 years bad luck!
c**...: Hahaha... (c**... walks off laughing)
a blonde police officer stops a blonde driver
A blonde police officer stops a blonde driver:
"You have driven too fast: let me see your driver's licence."
The blonde driver is puzzled: "What's a driver licence?"
The blonde police officer explains: "Um... you have your face on it."
The blonde driver hands the blonde police officer a mirror.
The blonde police officer looks at the mirror and salutes the blonde driver:
"Sorry, I didn't recognize you were a police officer."
How do you know a blonde has been trying to commit s**...?
There are bullet holes in the mirror.
A blonde police officer pulls over a blonde
The police officer asks the blonde, "Can I see you license and registration, please?". The blonde then asked, "What is that?", the police officer says, "That thing with your face on it", the blonde then pulls a mirror out of her purse, and hands it to the police officer. The police officer then says, "Oh, my bad, if I knew you were a police officer I wouldn't have pulled you over."
A blonde cop pulls over a blonde driver
The cop tells the driver "License please."
"What is a license?" the driver answers.
The cop replies "it goes in your wallet, has a picture of you on it..."
As the blonde driver digs through her purse, after a while she pulls an object out, looks at it for a second, smiles, says "Found it! Here you go officer!" and hands a mirror to the cop.
The cop takes off her aviators, looks in the mirror, rolls her eyes, and hands it back to the driver.
"If I knew you were a cop, I wouldn't have pulled you over!"
A 13 month old baby breaks a mirror, giving it 7 years of bad luck.
The good news, his mom is an anti-vaxxer.
Glass: If someone breaks me, its one year of bad luck
Mirror: Thats nothing. If someone breaks me, its seven years of bad luck.
c**...: hahahaha
Joke translated to English from German
A blonde is driving home when she gets pulled over by a police officer.
"Mam, may i see you driving license?!"
"What's a driving license? "
"You know this thing in your purse with your face on..."
She starts digging through her purse, finds her cosmetic mirror, and hands it over to the policeman.
The policeman takes a look at the mirror and responds-
"Should have told me right away your a police officer too "
I was really proud of my heritage until I found out that my great grandfather was from Transylvania.
Now I can't even look at myself in the mirror.
A vampire m**... in front of a mirror
Bet you didn't see that coming.
I just can't ever see myself putting anything up my own b**...
So I got a mirror.
How I lost my job as a hairdresser.
I had just about finished styling a very wealthy lady's hair. I put down the hair dryer, and placed a hand mirror behind her head. "OK, how's that?", I asked.
She sniffed, and said "more volume."
#"OK, HOW'S THAT!?"
Me: I want to be a mirror cleaner when I grow up
Mum: why's that?
Me: It's something I can see myself doing
Mum: ...
My friend was really proud of his British heritage until he found out that his grandfather was from Transylvania.
Now he can't even look at himself in the mirror.
A beer bottle, a mirror and a c**... go to the pub.
The beer bottle thinks for a moment and says, You know, if you break me, you get a years bad luck.
The mirror looks incredulous at this comment and says, That's nothing, if you break me you get 7 years bad luck.
The c**... starts to laugh so hard he falls on the floor.
A Blonde woman was speeding down the road and was pulled over by a female police officer, who was also a blonde.
The blonde Cop asked to see the blonde driver's license. She dug through her purse and was getting progressively more agitated.
'What does it look like?' she finally asked. The policewoman replied, 'It's square and it has you picture on it.'
The driver finally found a square mirror in her purse, looked at it and handed it to the policewoman. 'Here it is,' she said.
The Blonde officer looked at the mirror, then handed it back saying, OK, you can go. I didn't realize you were a cop…
Blonde vs Traffic cop who will win?
Traffic cop stops a blonde that sped by him. He asked her for her license, and she replied by asking: "What is a license?" He explained that a license is a square thing with your face of it. The blone ruffles around in her purse for a while, pulls out a small mirror and gives it to the traffic cop. He looked at it and said: "Oh! I see you're a traffic cop too, you're free to go."
Bloke goes to a doctor and says 'Why is it that every time I look in the mirror, I get an e**...?'
Doctor says 'It's because you look like a t**...!'
A blond cop pulls over a blond and asks for her drivers license.
.
The blond starts looking through her car then asks, "Uhh, what are they again?"
The blond cop replies, "Ugh. It's the thing in your purse with your picture on it."
"Oh yeah," says the blond who reaches in her purse, pulls out a compact mirror, and hands it over.
The blond cop opens it, takes a look inside, hands it back, and says, "I'm sorry ma'am. If I knew you were a cop, I wouldn't have pulled you over."
LPT: NEVER hang your drivers license from your rearview mirror!
You risk being pulled over for driving with a suspended license.
Are you Blonde?
A blond cop pulls over a blond and asks for her drivers license. The blond starts looking through her car then asks, "Uhh, what are they again?"
The blond cop replies, "Ugh. It's the thing in your purse with your picture on it." "Oh yeah," says the blond who reaches in her purse, pulls out a compact mirror, and hands it over. The blond cop opens it, takes a look inside, hands it back, and says, "I'm sorry ma'am. If I knew you were a cop, I wouldn't have pulled you over."
David Beckham gets in a taxi at Dublin Airport and notices the driver keep looking in his rear view mirror at him.
After about 5 minutes the driver says "Go on then give me a clue!?"
Beckham replies, "I had a glittering career with Man Utd, played over 100 times for England and married a spice girl, is that enough?".
Driver says "No mate, I meant where are you going?"
Two policemen are walking down the street and they find a mirror.
First one picks it up, looks at it and says: "Holy s**... man, this dude looks so familiar."
Other one looks at it and says: "Man you're right! We better take this to the captain!"
When they come to the police station they show the mirror to the captain and ask him if he knows this man. Captain: "Of course i know him! He always sits opposite of me at the barber shop."
A blonde woman is speeding down an empty road when she's pulled over by a blonde cop. The cop walks up to her window and asks for her driver's license.
Driver's license? the blonde driver asks, somewhat confused.
You know, the little rectangle with your face on it that you keep in your purse, the blonde cop explains patiently.
Oh, that! the blonde driver exclaims. She digs around in her purse and finally pulls out a small rectangular mirror, which she hands to the blonde cop.
The blonde cop looks at the mirror and exclaims, Oh, I'm sorry, ma'am, you're free to go…I didn't realize you were a cop!
A vampire decided to use his immortality to research the best career
He tried every type of job there was, from innovation to construction to civil service, and he landed on the job of mirror cleaner.
In his book on the subject, he said that the tai chi like motions of the arms were very relaxing, and the mirror will certainly get dirty again leading to job security.
"I'm as surprised as you are," wrote the vampire. "It was not a job I could see myself doing."
My girlfriend has always been a bit on the heavy side
One morning, while standing in front of the mirror together she asked me if she should change anything in her life. I said, go workout and lose 20-30 pounds, it would change you for the better. At that moment, the sheer passion I saw in her eyes I will never forget.
After the first day, I didn't see anything. To be expected of course, these things take time. Three days later, nothing. A week later, nothing. Two weeks later, and I finally started to see something. Thank god for that, I thought she knocked the light out of my eyes for good.
My wife spoke to me while staring into her mirror, she said 'I'm old, getting fat and look like I haven't slept for a week, I need a compliment'
I said 'Your eyesight is perfect'
I was in an interview and they asked me where I see myself in 10 years
I said the same place I see myself now, in the mirror
I would really like to work at a mirror factory.
it's just something i can really see myself doing.
A blond cop pulls over a blond and asks for identification.
The blond asks, What's that?
The blond cop replies, It's the thing in your purse with your picture on it.
The blond reaches into her purse, pulls out her compact mirror, and hands it over.
The blond cop opens it, takes a look, and says, I'm sorry mam. If I knew you were an officer, I wouldn't have pulled you over.
British joke
According to legend if at midnight you look in a mirror and say the words "workers rights" 3 times Liz Truss appears and takes them away
A woman is standing n**..., looking in the bedroom mirror.
She is not happy with what she sees and says to her husband, "I feel Horrible; I look old, fat and ugly. I really need you to pay me a
Compliment."
The husband replies, 'Your eyesight's d**... near perfect.'
A blond cop pulled over a blond and asked for ID
The blond said, What's ID?
The blond cop said, It's the thing in your purse with your picture on it.
The blond gave her compact mirror to the blond cop, who said, I'm sorry. If I knew you were a cop, I would not have pulled you over.
