Mint Jokes

What are some Mint jokes?

I recently came into a HUGE amount of money.

Unfortunately, though, I'm barred from future tours of the Mint.

The U.S mint stopped making pennies.

I don't know why, it doesn't make any cents.

A new mint flavored contraceptive taken before sex...

called Predickamints.

I know a guy who collects candy canes...

...they are all in mint condition.

Help! I accidentally swallowed a mint!

Never mind, I'm cool now.

I make more money than Bill Gates and Mark Zuckerburg combined

And all I do is work at the U.S. Mint

What you call toes that taste like mint?

Tic-tac-toe!

My 8 year old daughter made this one up.

What do you give an apprehensive person with bad breath?

An encourage mint.

What kind of mint is the hardest to swallow?

Abandonment.

So I was shopping online for antique guns.....

and I got to the World War II section. I selected guns of French origin. They were all in mint condition.

How can you tell if a coin is fresh?

You can still smell the mint

Why did Jesus go to a Candy shop?

To Test a Mint

My dad found an Altoid tin in his attic and told me it was worth over $400.

He said it was worth so much because it was in mint condition.

Last night in Jail they gave us mint chocolates for dessert. I thought they'd be be gross but they were actually pretty good.

Turns out that in-prison mint isn't as bad as I expected.

So I got a new job, and at the interview they told me I would be making millions...

I'll be working at the U.S. Mint.

A friend of mine just got fired from his job at a mint factory

His wife went absolutely menthol

I'm selling my parachute. Mint condition.

Never opened, only used once

Why did the man decide to work at the coin mint?

It made cents

The penny making machine at the US mint stopped working the other day....

The director of the mint himself came to the machines engineer to ask him what the problem was.

"I can't figure it out!" exclaimed the puzzled engineer. "It doesn't make cents!!"


(Best told in person)

I found some leftover candy canes from last year that were still in their packaging.

They were in mint condition.

I have an unopened pack of gum from 1993

You could even say it's in...

..mint condition

Why did Karl Marx drink mint tea?

Because proper tea is theft.

What does Altoid mean?

I've always wondered what that word mint

I asked my friend why he always has coins laying around

He said told me he works at a mint, I said to him "that makes cents".

Why were people confused when the coin mint broke?

It didn't make any cents!

Why did a lightbulb in the candy store go out?

It needed to get it's fill o' mint.

I think retirement can lead to senility.

Because after my Grandpa quit working at the Federal Mint, he just stopped making cents.

Did you hear about the guy who invented Lifesavers?

I heard he made a mint.

I sold my foot that had the Tic-Tac toe today...

I heard collectors pay more for items in mint condition.

What do you call a clock made of mint? (OC)

Thyme.

People tell me I'm confusing...

I tell them I stopped making sense when I lost my job at the mint.

Did you know that the guy who invented Tic Tacs never had to work another day in his life?

He made a mint.

I have a York Patty Wrapper from 1941

Its in mint condition

Three Guys Are Getting Ready For Their Dates

The first guy pops a breath mint for his date so his breath smells good. Then the second guy starts chewing some gum so his breath smells good. Then the last guy starts eating onions and garlic. The others say "Don't you want to have nice smelling breath for your date?"
"Nah" he says, "The lips I'm kissing tonight already stink."

A man was fired from the mint for masturbating near the coins.

He said it wasn't fair; there was no common sense.

Why is the Canadian Mint so confusing?

Because they don't make any cents.

A dog walks into a bar...

....and sits down on the barstool.

He says, "I'll have two beers, and mint if you've got one."

The bartender says "Wow! You should join the circus!"

And the dog says, "Why, do they need electricians?"

A US mint worker couldn't figure out how to fix the penny-producing machine...

... once he figured it out it made sense.

The Engineer's Trainee

So one day at a coin mint, an engineer who works there is taking a trainee for a tour and shows him how everything works. They approach the dollar-making machine. After explaining it, the Engineer says:
"Well, what do you think? Complicated?"

And the Trainee says:
"No, I completely understand it; it makes sense."

To which the Engineer replies:
"No, it makes dollars."

The British mint is very odd.

It makes no cents.

What do you call a wise plant?

Enlighten Mint!

I'm selling a piece of gum

It's in mint condition

*rim shot*

What do comic book collectors use in their hair?

Mint conditioner.

Imagine having a money printer

That would be mint.

Did you know that buying really old candy cost a lot of money?

Especially when they are in mint condition

I found a vintage Altoids box from the 60s in my attic,

it was in mint condition

Someone's going to invent a snack that I can eat in bed as I'm going to sleep.

And they're going to make a mint.

It's so easy to understand people who work at the US mint

They make a lot of cents.

My Dad was killed at an explosion at the US Mint.

He was nickel-and-dimed to death.

For Sale: 2-in-1 Menthol Shampoo

Great hairwash. Mint condition.

"Why do you always exchange your Canadian dollars to USD? It makes no sense!"

"Well neither does the Canadian Mint!"

When Forrest Gump was a bartender

Someone ordered a mojito.
There he goes, puts som mint in, lime juice and he starts pouring some vodka.
And the other bartender: RUM, FORREST, RUM!!!

One time my ex looked into a tin of Altoids

It was ex sight mint!

Did you hear that the mint employees are going on strike?

They want to make less money.

Why do new comic books smell so refreshing?

Because they're in mint condition.

You know the guy who invented Lifesavers?

They say he made a mint

The absolute worst flavor mint...

has to be a condiment.

TIL the mint in San Francisco does not produce any circulating coins

It doesn't make cents!

Where's the best place to work if you want to make a lot of money?

The mint.

What's a banker's favourite flavor of icecream?

Mint

Did you hear about the guy who invented the tic tac?

He made a mint!


I'll take my stuff and leave with my dad jokes.

What do you call prototype mint lollies?

Experimentos

I had to break up with my girlfriend because she had bad breathe...

... I guess it just wasn't mint to be.

Didja hear about the guy that invented Lifesavers?

Apparently he made a mint!

What do you call mentholated birth control?

A condom mint.

A mint worker walks into a bar...

the next morning he heads home to his wife with 2 fresh new black eyes,

shes asks "Did the bartender ask you what you do for a living?"

the mint workers says "well, I do make money after all"

There are these mints that are supposed to calm your nerves.

They have jokes on the inside of the packaging. I guess the real joke...

In honor of Father's day, here is a typical dad joke.

Did you hear about the guy who invented Lifesavers? They say he made a mint.

Friend Bought a Ticket for a motorsport event, and later realized that it is the same date as his wedding. He made a Facebook listing:

Church in Albstadt, Germany, Bride waiting in mint condition.

How do Zombies get rid of Bad Breath?

They Munch on some Flesh Mint!

Why are mints so smart?

Because mints make cents.

I installed Linux Mint on my laptop,

So I told my sister it had Mint on it. She then started licking it.

So my wife said there's a ton of ISO's on Facebook for girl guide cookies.

I said we should post it at a boosted price because they are mint in box.

Imagine what a fig-flavored mint would taste like.

Got it? Good.

That's a fig-mint of your imagination.

Ben and Jerry's is coming out with a new flavor with peach and mint.

It's called "Impeachmint"

What makes perfect sense?

The U.S. mint

(cents)

The Winnipeg Mint only makes paper money. Why would they do that?

It doesn't make any sense.

How to make Mint jokes?

We have collected gags and puns about Mint to have fun with. Do you want to stand out in a crowd with a good sense of humour joking about Mint? If Yes here are a lot more hilarious lines and funny Mint pick up lines to share with friends.

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