Mins Jokes
40 mins jokes and hilarious mins puns to laugh out loud. Read jokes about mins that are clean and suitable for kids and friends.
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Funniest Mins Short Jokes
Short mins jokes and puns are one of the best ways to have fun with word play in English. The mins humour may include short furiously jokes also.
- From my 91 year old grandpa Q: What is the difference between a vitamin and a hormone?
A: You can't hear a vita-min. - What did the Irishman text his Wife? "Honey I'm down at the pub having a pint with the lads. Be home in about 30 min. If I'm not back by then please read this message again."
- I sat in my closed garage with the car on for 30 mins... before I realized I shouldn't have gone with the Tesla.
- What did they call the arab dairy farmer who became the chief? A milk sheikh
Figured I had 6 min for my cake day, and for some reason that was the joke that popped in my head - Why was the TV show "The Bachelor" a failure in Saudi Arabia? Episode 1, after 10 mins:
"I'll take them all..."
\- End - - Well it looks like I won't make it. Found out it's terminal D. And my connecting flight leaves from terminal A in 15 mins.
- a joke that i thought of 2 mins ago. kid: mom, can I get $20?
mom: does it look like I'm made of money?
kid: well, isn't that what M.O.M stands for? - Just spent 10 mins working on a joke, Ended up walking away from the mirror.. Nothing's getting that to work...
- Asked my co-worker if saw the big news report... He said which one, The Mac 'n Cheetos announcement or the UK doing something?
True story, from 3 min ago... 'Murica - BREAKING NEWS: South Korea have won the Asian Games... Meaning Son Heung-min will officially be included in FIFA 19 instead of Battlefield 5.
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Mins One Liners
Which mins one liners are funny enough to crack down and make fun with mins? I can suggest the ones about avail and min.
- What plant will kill you in 5 min or less if you just stand under it Water lily
- I just lasted 61 mins in bed a new record! Thanks Daylight savings time...
- I've been wondering for 30 mins when my adhd meds will kick in, I guess they never will!
- The "Add Min" button on my microwave... ...makes me feel unduly powerful.
- I like my girl like my noodles... wiggly when I eat them
hot and ready in 2 mins - The girls took 5 min to dress up.....
- Test It's just a test, I'll delete it in 2 mins.
Thanks. - What can you see when you're 8 min high moving quickly? A spaced scuttle
- Yo mama has Alzheimer's, she started laughing 10 min ago
- My cat sleeps on the refrigerator... I get to see her every 30 min
- 10 min into chess and chill and she gives you that rook
Gather Around for Heartwarming Mins Jokes and Uplifting Humor
What funny jokes about mins you can tell and make people laugh? An example I can give is a clean delay jokes that will for sure put a smile on everyones mouth and help you make mins pranks.
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
A woman is breastfeeding on the bus but struggling to get her baby to suckle....
So she says to her baby
_"Eat up now or I'm going to give it to that nice man over there"_ and points at the man sitting across from her
10 mins later _"You have to eat, baby, or I will give to that man!"_
5 mins later _"Baby come on now, I can't waste this milk so you have to eat or im giving it to that man"_
At this point the gentleman sitting across from her yells
_"FFS Make up your mind lady, my stop was 3 stops ago!"_
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
Breast Feeding
A man is sitting next to a woman who is trying to breast feed her baby on the bus. The baby refuses to eat and the mother warns, "If you don't eat I'll give it to the man next to me." The baby refuses. After 20 mins the mother repeats the threat. The man clears his t**... and says, "Hey woman, you better make up your mind. I was supposed to get off the bus 6 stops ago!"
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
What do you call 2 pirates that like each other?
a pirate ship
i know it s**... but i literally made this on the spot like a couple mins ago and thought to share it
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
Man buys a talking centipede.
Man buys a talking centipede for $5000 and takes it home in a small box.
When he gets home, he opens the box and says "Would you like to go for a beer?"
The centipede doesn't answer...
Raising his voice he repeats the question, still no reply.
30 mins later and getting angry, thinking he's been ripped off, he shouts the question loudly.
At which the centipede sticks his head out of his box and says "I heard you the 1st time...I'm putting my f**... shoes on!!!"
A King had to go on a war but he was worried that his wife might cheat and leave him
He locked her in her room and gave the keys to his minister and ordered him that if I don't come back in 10 days then she is yours. Then the king left. After 20 mins as he was riding on his fast horse he heard someone coming from behind. He stopped for the man and once the other horse rider came close the king saw that he was his minister. The minister came towards the king.
The king said, "didn't I give you a job to do?"
The minister said, " your highness about that.... the keys you gave me are wrong"
Why was the Minstrel refused entry to the tavern?
He was BARD for life.
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
A parrot accidentally swallowed a viagara tablet and went berserk
He started h**... everything he could lay his wings on .
The owner called the vet who said that the overheating could damage his brain so asked him to put the parrot in a freezer.
The owner somehow caught the parrot and forced into the freezer and forced it shut.
After 10 mins, he slowly opened only to find the parrot sweating profusely.
The owner asked 'why are you sweating?'.
The parrot said ' Do you know how hard it is to open the legs of a frozen chicken?'
A Minsk fireman gets home from work...
... and says to his wife, "They told me that tomorrow I either go to Chernobyl or hand in my Party card."
"But you're not in the party," she replies.
"Right, so I'm wondering how do I get a Party card by tomorrow morning?"
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
If you do these things every day for 30 days straight you will be unrecognizable
1. Sleep 8+ hours everyday.
2. Drink four 8oz glasses of water minimum daily.
3. Get outside in the sun everyday.
4. No sugar.
5. Read for 30 mins each day.
6. Workout for 1hr 3 times a week
7. Capture someone, cut their face off then sew it onto your face.
8. Meditate for 10 mins everyday.
I was with my wife at mcdonalds drive thru and after 3 mins when they gave her our order she began complaining how agonizingly long the wait was.
Turns out reminding her that last night she told me 3 mins was way to quick was not a good response
A guy goes to the movies
He buys a ticket and goes in.
5 mins later he returns to buy another ticket.
Another 5 mins later again he asks for a third ticket.
The lady selling the tickets asks "Why do you keep buying tickets?"
"Because they keep ripping mine when I try to go in"
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
Old lady in a bus
OL: stop the bus. I need to p**....
BD: gran, I can't stop the bus. We're 30 mins to a rest stop. Hold it in. It's just your imagination.
OL: really, stop the bus. It's peaking.
BD: it's just your imagination.
5 mins later, BD stopped the bus as he smelled something awful.
BD: gran, did you just s**... on my bus? It smells awful.
OL: O come on son. Drive along now, it's just your imagination.
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
What do you call white people who use Instagram
Gram crackers.
Just thought of it a few mins ago and wanted to share.
A policeman pulls over a guy for speeding
The officer walks up to him and says "look buddy, its 16:50 on a Friday night and I knock off in 10 mins. I really don't want to be filling in paperwork so tell you what? Give me a good excuse for speeding away from me, and I'll let you go. The man thinks for a second and says "my wife ran off with a cop last week. I was afraid you were trying to give her back "
"Have a nice weekend, sir!"
Was at the vet last week....
Was at the vet last week and struck up a conversation with an older gent sitting next to me. A few mins into our conversation a green snake pokes its head out of his pocket and says "Woof!"
I looked with shock and asked his "What was that?"
He says 'oh, it's my pet snake'
'Whats he here for?' I asked
He answered in a whisper "He has E-reptile dysfunction!"
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
[close Reddit] gosh this website s**...!
**[2 mins later reopening Reddit]** maybe it's good now though
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
What's the difference between a white girl who likes to tan and a burger?
They both need to be flipped every 10 mins, but only one turns pink when its done.
i asked my friend five mins before exam "why did the chicken cross the road"
while he was studying, he answers " because he didn't have time for your jokes"
Double Paysafecard 5 mins
Write Skype name:(Warick 18 )a Message with ur Paysafecard number and in 5-10 minutes u get the Double back like 5 to 10 from 10 to 20
The aliens sent down a robot to earth.
The aliens claimed that this robot can catch thieves very fast!
They united nations sent the robot to Canada and in just a few seconds, the robot caught all the thieves in Canada.
Amazed, the united nations sent the robot to America.
The it the robot a bit longer but after 15 mins, the robot return with all the thief in America.
Even more amazed, the united nations test the robot one more time. They brought it to the Philippines.
One minute after landing in the Philippines, the robot got stolen.
