Minister Jokes

160 minister jokes and hilarious minister puns to laugh out loud. Read jokes about minister that are clean and suitable for kids and friends.

This collection of minister jokes features all kinds of religious figures, from the Prime Minister of the United Kingdom to an Ordained Minister to a Rabbi, Priest, or Lutheran. Enjoy these puns and stories, ranging from Yes Minister to Cathedral bell ringer.

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Funniest Minister Short Jokes

Short minister jokes and puns are one of the best ways to have fun with word play in English. The minister humour may include short secretary jokes also.

  1. The UK Prime Minister just announced her resignation. This is not surprising. It is the end of May, after all.
  2. A priest, a Baptist minister, and a rabbit walk into the Red Cross to donate blood The nurse asks, what's your blood type?
    The rabbit says, "I'm probably a Type O"
  3. The ceo of IKEA has just been appointed as the Prime Minister of Sweden. He's currently assembling his cabinet.
  4. You may not believe me when I say that Trump isn't the Prime Minister of Canada It's Trudeau.
  5. king Charles has a realistic chance of breaking one of Queen Elizabeths most famous records: The record number of 15 prime ministers during her reign.
  6. The CEO of IKEA was just elected Prime Minister of Sweden. The first thing he'll do is to assemble his cabinet.
  7. The American President has challenged the british Prime Minister to a debate. Nobody knows what may happen.
    Trump may trump May or May may trump Trump.
  8. Who would win if the American President debated the British Prime Minister? After all, Trump may trump May, or May may trump Trump
  9. A priest, a rabbit and a minister walk into a bar. The bartender asks the rabbit What can I get you to drink .
    The rabbit says I have no idea, I'm only here because of autocorrect .
  10. A priest, a rabbit, and a minister walk into a bar. The bartender asks the rabbit "what'll ya have?" The rabbit replies, "I dunno... I'm just here because of autocorrect."

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Minister One Liners

Which minister one liners are funny enough to crack down and make fun with minister? I can suggest the ones about pastor and preacher.

  1. CEO of IKEA is now the Prime Minister of Sweden He is currently assembling his cabinet.
  2. I heard a rumour about the canadian Prime Minister Not sure if it's Trudeau.
  3. I've heard the Canadian Prime-Minister has a French last name. Is this Trudeau?
  4. Nobody believes that I can name the Canadian Prime Minister. It's Trudeau.
  5. Some people don't think Justin is the prime minister of Canada. It's Trudeau
  6. A priest, a minister and a rabbit walk into a bar. The rabbit says, "I think I'm a typo."
  7. My Jewish minister bit me.. He gave me rabbis.
  8. The British Prime Minister resigned today. I guess the people lost their Truss.
  9. Jeff Bezos has never been the President of Amazon. Just the Prime Minister.
  10. What do you call a 4 foot 1 preacher? A MINIster
  11. What time did the Monster eat the prime minister? 8PM
  12. Why does it smell so bad in Moscow? The prime minister has been Putin since 1999
  13. Jeff Bezos is no longer the President of Amazon. But he's still the Prime Minister.
  14. Can you believe the Canadian prime minister's name isn't Trump? It's Trudeau...
  15. The Dutch ate their prime minister in 1672 They had a good taste in politics

Prime Minister Jokes

Here is a list of funny prime minister jokes and even better prime minister puns that will make you laugh with friends.

  • I just heard that the Swedish prime minister quit after just a few hours And I thought I was the only one who couldn't put together a swedish cabinet.
  • When my wife told me that the Prime Minister of Canada got re-elected, I thought she was lying. It's Trudeau.
  • If your workplace requires password changes every 90 days just set it to the name of the current Australian Prime minister and you should be fine.
  • The president of the United States is going to debate the Prime Minister of the United Kingdom. Nobody is sure who is going to win. In other words... Trump may trump May. May may trump Trump.
  • My son asked if he could meet the British Prime Minister I said "Boris Johnson? Liz Truss will probably be too busy. What do you want to meet Rishi Sunak for anyway?"
  • Breaking News: The CEO of IKEA has been elected Prime Minister of Sweden. He's currently assembling his cabinet.
  • The queen asked the visiting Indian Prime Minister, "I hear Indian politicians are notoriously corupt and wealthy" "Quite so," he said, "but none so brazen as to wear their loot on their head".
  • What's the difference between imitation bread and the Canadian prime minister? One is fake dough, the other is Trudeau.
  • Just found out that the boss of IKEA is the new Prime Minister of Sweden He's still assembling his new cabinet
  • Look I am getting old. This morning I was chasing my secretary to do her on the table and she said: Prime Minister we only did it two hours ago

Minister Priest Rabbi Jokes

Here is a list of funny minister priest rabbi jokes and even better minister priest rabbi puns that will make you laugh with friends.

  • A Rabbi, a priest and a minister walk into a bar The bartender asks - is this some kind of joke?
  • A Priest, A Rabbi, and A Minister All Had to Go to the Hospital They got alcohol poisoning from going to the bar so much
  • A blind man walks into a bar Then into the priest, the rabbi, the minister, then into a table and into a chair.
  • A Priest, a Rabbi, and a Minister walk into a bar... The bartender says "If you're not freaking out about Net Neutrality right now, you're not paying attention."
  • I recently had a wakeup call when I had a priest, then a rabbi, then a minister all tell me I had a drinking problem. Boy, I'm glad they all walked into that bar when they did.
  • Another tale from the bar. A priest, a rabbi, a minister, a monkey, and a duck walk into a bar. The bartender looks up and says, "What is this, some kind of a joke?"
  • A man walks into a parallel universe and sits down at the bar. In comes a priest, a rabbi and a minister
  • A priest, a rabbi, and a minister are all in a rowboat. Despite their differences, they have a lovely afternoon.
  • A priest, a rabbi and a minister walk into a library.... The librarian stops them. "What, do you think this is a BAR?"
  • A priest, a rabbi and a minister walk into a bar. He orders a beer.
    *No, wait...*
Minister joke, A priest, a rabbi and a minister walk into a bar.

Minister joke, A priest, a rabbi and a minister walk into a bar.

Share Hilarious Minister Jokes and Enjoy Unforgettable Laughter

What funny jokes about minister you can tell and make people laugh? An example I can give is a clean priest jokes that will for sure put a smile on everyones mouth and help you make minister pranks.

The year is 2192. The British Prime Minister visits Brussels to ask for an extension of the Brexit deadline.

No one remembers where this tradition originated, but every year it attracts many tourists from all over the world.

Two Baptist ministers were eating lunch when one went on and on about young people having s**... before marriage. He said, God forbids it. It is a sin and I didn't have s**... with my wife until our wedding night. How about you?

The other minister thinks and then says, I don't think so, what was her maiden name?

Wrong Email

A Minnesota couple decided to vacation to Florida during the winter. They planned to stay at the very same hotel where they spent their honeymoon 20 years earlier. Because of hectic schedules, it was difficult to coordinate their travel schedules. So, the husband left Minnesota and flew to Florida on Thursday. His wife would fly down the following day.
The husband checked into the hotel. There was a computer in his room, so he decided to send an e-mail to his wife. However, he accidentally left out one letter in her e-mail address, and without realizing his error, he sent the e-mail.
Meanwhile.....somewhere in Houston, a widow had just returned home from her husband's f**.... He was a minister of many years who was called home to glory following a sudden heart attack. The widow decided to check her e-mail, expecting messages from relatives and friends. After reading the first message, she fainted.
The widow's son rushed into the room, found his mother on the floor, and saw the computer screen which read:
To: My Loving Wife
Subject: I've Arrived
Date: 16 May 2003
I know you're surprised to hear from me. They have computers here now and you are allowed to send e-mails to your loved ones. I've just arrived and have been checked in. I see that everything has been prepared for your arrival tomorrow. Looking forward to seeing you then! Hope your journey is not as uneventful as mine was.
P.S. Sure is hot down here!

A minister and a lawyer at the pearly gates.

A minister and a lawyer arrived at the pearly gates. Saint Peter greeted both of them and gave them their room assignments.
"Pastor, here are the keys to one of our nicest efficiency units. And for you, sir, (to the lawyer) the keys to our finest p**... suit."
"This is unfair!" cried the minister.
"Listen," Saint Peter said, "ministers are a dime a dozen up here, but this is the first lawyer we've seen."

A priest, a minister, and a rabbi decided to go skinny dipping...

Suddenly, they saw three women walking towards them. Each was a member of their flocks. The priest and the minister covered their privates with their hands and closed their eyes waiting for the agony to end.
After the women walked away they noticed the rabbi had covered his face and not his nether regions. He said, "My flock recognizes my face. What kinda sermons do you give?"

There's a plane crashing down...

On the plane are The President of the United States, The British Prime Minister, the smartest man in the world, a priest and a boy scout. The pilot announces over the intercom: "People, we regret to inform you that we are going to c**.... Fortunately, there are 6 parachutes available."
Before anyone can respond, the pilot and copilot dash out of the cabin, each grabs a parachute and jumps out of the plane. The 5 passengers look at each other, realize there's only 4 parachutes left, then make a mad dash for them. A giant fight ensues as everyone struggles to grab a parachute.
The President snags one and declares, "I *must* live! I'm the President of the United States!" before jumping out of the plane.
The Prime Minister grabs a c**... and yells, "*I* must live! I'm the Prime Minister!"
The Smartest Man in the World and the boy scout get into a tussle, ending with the Smartest Man in the World shoving the boy scout to the floor. Hugging the parachute to his chest he yells, "I'm the Smartest Man in the World! It is imperative that I survive!" and leaps out the door.
The priest helps the boy scout to his feet. "You go ahead, son," he says, "Take the last parachute. I've made my peace."
"We can each have one, father," The boy scout says, shaking his head, "The Smartest Man in the World took my backpack."

A priest, a rabbi, and a minister...

Are skinny dipping in the forest one day. Joking and talking philosophy and such. Suddenly they hear a large group of locals walking down the path toward them. To their dismay, they realized that they left their clothes hanging on branches on the other side of the path and would have to run past everyone to get them.
The minister gets out of the water, covers his junk and runs as fast as he can past the oncoming people to get his clothes.
The priest, in turn, gets out of the water, covers his junk and runs as fast as he can past the people to his clothes.
Finally the rabbi gets out of the water, covers his face and runs as fast as they can to his clothes.
As they dress the priest turns to the rabbi and asks,
"Why did you cover your face and not your g**...?"
"Well I don't know about you guys, but in my congregation they know me by my face."

The gift.

Knowing that the minister had a very sore t**..., an elderly woman presented him with a bottle of cherry brandy.
"This is quite soothing, the woman said, "but please don't tell anyone I gave you liquor. Everyone thinks I am teetotaler."
"I understand," replied the good man.
When the church magazine came out a few days later, the congregant skimmed the "With Appreciation" column. There she read: "The minister extends his thanks to Mrs. Alice Rodgers for her gift of fruit and the spirit in which it was given."

What did Tony Abbott (Prime minister of Australia) do with the half-eaten banana?

He re-peeled it.

I met Greece's finance minister, who was looking for help regarding the situation there.

He asked me for my two cents.

A priest, a minister, and a rabbi...

...decide to have a friendly competition to see who is the best at their job. To make things interesting, they agree to see who is best at converting the bears in the local woods. A week passes, and they get together to compare notes.
The priest says, "I was walking through the woods and came upon a patch of berries where there was a bear, gathering berries. I walked up to the bear and I gave him the Holy Communion, and thus converted the bear".
The minister goes, "I too was walking through the woods, and came across a stream. There was a bear in the stream, catching fish. So I waded out to him, and baptized the bear right there, and so converting him."
The priest and minster look over to the rabbi, and this guy is in rough shape. He is in total traction, with a full body cast, cuts and scrapes on his face and hands.
"Oy," the rabbi says, "In retrospect, I shouldn't have led with the circumcision."

TIL the current Prime Minister of of Canada has a tattoo, and is in a cover band called the Van Cats, but...

...only the first part was Trudeau.

A teenager got his driver's license...

...and asked his father, who was a minister, if he could use his car.
The father said, "If you bring your grades up, study the Bible, and get a haircut, then you can use the car."
One month later, the teenager asked his father about using the car again. The father said, "Son, I'm proud of you. You have brought your grades up and studied the Bible every day. But you still haven't gotten a haircut!"
His son said, "Dad, in my studying of the Bible, I found that many great people had long hair. Samson had long hair. Moses, Noah, and John the Baptist had long hair. Even Jesus had long hair."
His father said, "Yes, and they walked everywhere they went!"

After much discussion, it was decided that Korea would divide its capital city into two, half for North and half for South, the job of splitting the city went to some unusual ministers: Cenobites. In their first public address about their new task, they gave their mission statement:

"We'll tear your Seoul apart"

A catholic priest, Baptist minister, and a rabbi are on a cruise ship

When the ship begins to sink. They are making their way to the life boats when they notice that there are a bunch of un-escorted kids standing there. The Baptist minster says to the others, "what about the children?"
The rabbi says,"f**... the children."
The catholic priest asks, "do we have time for that?"

Great Britains new Prime Minister

Did you see that Boris Johnson might be the next Prime Minister of Great Britain? I remember when the U.S. had a BJ in the top office!

TIL After Nigeria was unable to win any medals in this year's Olympics, the Nigerian Sports Minister personally offered to refund all the expenses of fans that traveled to Brazil.

He said he just needs their bank details and pin numbers to complete the transaction.

I didn't believe my friend when he told me who the Canadian Prime Minister was...

turns out it was Trudeau.

I've heard of Lawyers who mount a stag's head in their study, or Doctors who mount a lion's head in their dining room...

I guess I just don't see the problem with a British Prime Minister mounting a pig's head wherever he pleases.

What do the World Wide Web and the Prime Minister of Israel have in common?

They are both Net and Yahoo.

A priest and a minister were golfing...

...when the minister swung and hit a rabbit with his shot. They both went up to the rabbit and saw that it was dead. Then the priest takes a small bottle out of his pocket and pours the contents onto the rabbit. Immediately the rabbit wakes up and hops away.
The minister says "Wow, I've never seen holy water do that!"
And the priest says, "That wasn't holy water... it was hare restorer."
Credit to my priest told this joke this morning.

Can you call the British PM a fool?

During WW II, a man was arrested in London for calling Winston Churchill a fool.
The next day in the House of Commons, the opposition members were ready to roast the government for this. "Are we living in a police state", they shouted, "where we cannot call the PM a fool"?
Churchill's reply was truly disarming - "The man was not arrested for calling the Prime Minister a fool", he said, "but for letting out a state secret at a time of war".

A famous heart surgeon died and everyone was gathered at his f**.... A coffin was displayed in front of a huge heart. When the minister finished with the sermon and after everyone had paid their respects, the heart was opened, the coffin rolled inside, and the heart closed.

Just at that moment one of the mourners started laughing. The guy next to him said, control yourself man.
I'm sorry, he replied, I was thinking about my own f**....
What's so funny about that?
I'm a gynecologist.

Apple missing.

The local minister sees that every morning, some apples on his tree are missing. He makes a sign:
God sees everything.
The next morning, somebody writes under it: Yes, but he's not a snitch.

A poor farmer came to the Parliament house

A poor farmer came to the Parliament house in New Delhi to meet with an officer. He kept his bicycle near the high walls of the building and proceeded to the entrance.
The security guard came running towards him and hurriedly asked him to remove the bicycle.
This is a very prestigious place. High profile men, ministers and judges come here
The farmer innocently replied, I know that. I have locked my cycle, nobody can take it

Soviet Economics

1980s. Soviet Economy minister is making speech at Communist Party session:
- According to latest statistics, our incomes rose 20%, our quality of life rose 30% and our buying economic power rose 40%
From the audience: That's great that YOURS did, but what about OURS??

(Ukrainian joke). Leaders of three countries discuss their economies and taxes.

US President says: we tax our people at roughly 30%, and what they do with the rest, is not of my business
UK prime minister says: we tax our people at 50%, and what they do with the rest is none of my business.
Ukrainian president says: we tax our people at 130%, and where they get the rest, is none of my business
This is a joke from the 1990s.


A minister told his congregation, Next week, I plan to
preach about the sin of lying. To help you understand my
sermon, I want you to read Mark 17.
The following Sunday, as he prepared to deliver his sermon,
the minister asked for a show of hands. He wanted to know
how many had read Mark 17. Every hand went up. The
minister smiled and said, Mark has only sixteen chapters, I
will now proceed with my sermon on the sin of lying.
Ha Ha Ha Haa

Why is google angry with the Prime Minister of Israel?

Because he prefers to browse the net in yahoo

A New Car

A rabbi and a minister decided to buy a new car together. The day after they bought it, the rabbi found the minister driving it. The minister explained that he had just gone to the car wash because in his religion it is customary to welcome a new member with the rite of baptism. The next day, the minister discovered the rabbi cutting the end off the exhaust pipe

A wealthy man dies and gives his friends $10,000 each

The man wanted his friends, a minister, a United Way executive, and a lawyer, to put the $10,000 into his grave. The man wanted nothing more than to be surrounded by his money forever. At the f**..., each person placed an envelope into the casket.
Later that night, the three started talking. The minister said he needed to confess. He only put $5000 into the grave and gave the rest to the church. The United Way executive said she also needed to admit something. She withheld $8000 for the benefit of several charities. The lawyer couldn't believe the others didn't follow their friend's last wishes, for the lawyer had put in a check for the full $10,000.

When Canada was first unified, they realized they needed a name for this new country, so they decided to draw letters oot of a basket to name it.

The first prime minister went up on stage and started pulling letters and announcing them to the crowd. "C, eh?"..."N, eh?"..."D, eh?"

The Australian Prime Minister walks into a bar.

He wanders over to the bartender and... wait, he's not the Prime Minister anymore. The jokes doesn't work now. Sorry guys.

Boris Johnson coronavirus joke

For those sending around vile jokes about the Prime Minister in ICU... please remember the words of The Queen last night:
I hope in the years to come everyone will be able to take pride in how they responded to this challenge. Show some class.

I read today that the Prime Minister of Australia receives in the mail, on average, two parcels each week that contain human e**....

I wonder who's sending the other one?

I am extremely proud of my son who chose a career in organised crime

He became the prime minister of the country

At an ecumenical round-table discussion, various religious leaders tried to answer the question "When does life start?"

"At conception," said the Catholic priest.
"No, no," said the Presbyterian minister. "It begins at birth."
"It's in between," said the Baptist. "Life begins at 12 weeks when the fetus develops a functional heartbeat."
"I disagree with all of you," said the rabbi. "Life begins when your last child leaves home and takes the dog with him."

A Priest a rabbit and a Minister walk into a bar. The bartender asks the rabbit,what'll you have?

The rabbit says" I don't know I'm only here because of auto correct".

A minister started his Children's Sermon with a question. Who knows what the Resurrection is?

Without missing a beat a young boy says, "If you have one lasting more than 4 hours call your physician."

A King had to go on a war but he was worried that his wife might cheat and leave him

He locked her in her room and gave the keys to his minister and ordered him that if I don't come back in 10 days then she is yours. Then the king left. After 20 mins as he was riding on his fast horse he heard someone coming from behind. He stopped for the man and once the other horse rider came close the king saw that he was his minister. The minister came towards the king.
The king said, "didn't I give you a job to do?"
The minister said, " your highness about that.... the keys you gave me are wrong"

A tired mom opened the front door of her home to find a young minister from the neighborhood

Who said, "I'm collecting donations for the new children's home we're building. I hope you'll give what you can."
The beleaguered woman said, "I'll give you two boys, two girls, or one of each."

Russian Prime Minister Medvedev comes to President Putin and nervously tells him to abolish time zones.

"Why"? Putin asks
" I fly to another city, call home and everyone is asleep, - I woke you up at 4AM in the morning, but I thought it was only evening, - I call Angela Merkel to congratulate her on her birthday and she tells me she had it yesterday, - I wish the Chinese President a happy New Year, and he says it will be tomorrow."
"Indeed" Putin replies "but that's only minor, remember when that Polish plane crashed with the president? I called them to express my condolences, but the plane hadn't taken off yet !!"

Queen Elizabeth and Indira Gandhi

My dad told me this joke when I was young, and I think it's HILARIOUS:
Indian Prime Minister Indira Gandhi was once invited by Queen Elizabeth. Both of them were riding in the Queen's horse-driven carriage when one of the horses f**....
Petrified and embarrassed by the horse's toot, the Queen apologizes to Indira Gandhi, "I'm sorry," she said.
Indira Gandhi replied, "Oh that's okay. But I thought it was the horse!"

If Britain lost the second World War...

Would the Prime Minister be known as Loseton Churchill?

An Indian King became jealous that the Queen was caring about their infant son more than him, So he poisoned her n**... in her sleep to kill the baby.

The next day the Minister died of poisoning.

A nurse had s**... with the health minister to get a COVID-19 vaccine.

When asked why she did it, she said "It was worth a shot."

A priest a minister and a rabbit walk into a blood clinic

The Priest says: I'm a type A
The Minister says: I'm a type B
The Rabbit says: I think I'm a typo.

I Just Started My Job as a Minister's Assistant

My local church just hired me to assist the minister, and so far the job is going very well. The only real challenge is that he's very particular about the display towards the front of the sanctuary. He insists that it be kept spotless at all times, decorated with the freshest flowers, and have every detail placed perfectly on it. After a few weeks of this, I decided to ask him about it.
"Excuse me, Pastor" I asked. "Why are you so fixated on the front display?"
"Oh, that" he replied. "It's just my altar ego."

A minister told his congregation:

"Next week I plan to preach about the sin of lying. To help you understand my sermon, I want you all to read Mark 17."
The following Sunday, as he prepared to deliver his sermon, the minister asked for a show of hands. He wanted to know how many had read Mark 17. Nearly every hand went up.
The minister smiled and said, "Mark has only sixteen chapters. I will now proceed with my sermon on the sin of lying."

Blood type

A priest, a minister and a Rabbit walk together into the blood donation centre.
The nurse asks What's your blood type?
The Rabbit says I'm probably a Type O .

Blood bank.

A priest, a minister and a Rabbit walk into the blood bank.
They're asked Blood type?
The priest says "A positive."
The minister says "B negative."
The Rabbit says I'm probably a Type O

Hollywood marriages

TV interviewer: You were married four times: to a banker, to an actor, to a minister, and to an undertaker. Can you tell me why?
Legendary actress: Well, it was One for the money, Two for the show, Three to get ready, and Four to go!

(I'll see myself out, no need to push...)

Two Irishmen were sitting at a pub

Two Irishmen were sitting at a pub having beer and watching the brothel across the street. They saw a Baptist minister walk into the brothel, and one of them said, Aye, 'tis a shame to see a man of the cloth goin' bad. Then they saw a rabbi enter the brothel, and the other Irishman said, Aye, 'tis a shame to see that the Jews are fallin' victim to temptation as well. Then they see a catholic priest enter the brothel, and one of the Irishmen said, What a terrible pity…one of the girls must be dying.

In Wisconsin a woman donated a kidney to a dairy farmer and he was so grateful he agreed to marry her. The preacher said: what God has joined let no man put asunder. The groom interrupted: what's asunder?

The preacher said apart. The farmer said a part of what? Apart from your wife said the now frustrated minister. The groom said s**...! I already got a part from her.

A priest, a minister and a rabbit entered a clinic, to donate blood.

The nurse asked the rabbit, "What's your blood type?"
"I'm probably a Type O !!" said the rabbit.

A rabbi and a minister decided to buy a new car together.

The day after they bought it, the rabbi found the minister driving it. The minister explained that he had just gone to the carwash because, in his religion, it is customary to welcome a new member with the rite of baptism.
The next day, the minister discovered the rabbi cutting the end off the tailpipe.

An Afghan escaping from Taliban walks in through the Pakistani border...

He is immediately stopped by Paxtani border patrol agents and asked to identify himself. He stops and says he's the Minister of Ports & Shipping of Afghanistan.
Paxtani border officer: "But there is no sea in Afghanistan. How can you be the Minister of Ports & Shipping?"
Afghan: "Don't you have a Minister for Law & Justice in Pakistan?"

Minister joke, An Afghan escaping from Taliban walks in through the Pakistani border...

jokes about minister