Mining Jokes

Funniest Mining Short Jokes

Short mining jokes and puns are one of the best ways to have fun with word play in English. The mining humour may include short farming jokes also.

1. I don't understand all these jokes about mothers-in-law. Mine is sweet, supportive, and a great influence on me and my wife. I can't say anything bad about her.
2. I was dismayed this afternoon when my wife told me my 6 year old son wasn't actually mine. She then said I need to pay more attention at school pick up.
3. A cop stops a miner for speeding on the highway COP: Whose car is this? Where are you headed? What do you do?
   miner: mine
4. The cop asked, "Whose car is this? Where are you headed? What do you do?" The miner replied, "Mine."
5. For Valentine's Day, my wife finally fulfilled a fantasy of mine when dressed up as a nurse. At last, I got to roleplay having access to healthcare.
6. My wife accused me of hating her family and relatives... I replied, "No, I don't hate your relatives. In fact, I like your mother-in-law a lot better than I like mine."
7. I asked my pregnant librarian when her baby was due She said, "Oh the baby is mine, I get to keep it"
8. During my prostate exam I asked the doctor, "where should I put my pants"? "Over there by mine", was not the answer I was expecting.
9. A policeman stops a car... Policeman: Whose car is this, where are you headed and what do you do for a living? Miner: Mine.
10. A Genie once granted me one wish, so I said I just want to be happy . So now I'm living in a little cottage with 6 dwarfs, working in a mine and singing ?'Whistle while you work…….' ?

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Mining One Liners

Which mining one liners are funny enough to crack down and make fun with mining? I can suggest the ones about mines and coal miner.

1. Hey baby, are you a GPU? Cause I wanna make you mine.
2. A friend of mine, a mother of four, refused to have her children vaccinated.
3. Farts are like children I'm proud of mine but disgusted by yours
4. My professor accused me of plagiarism His words, not mine.
5. Today I ended a long term relationship. I don't really care though, it wasn't mine.
6. My teacher accused me of plagiarising my paper. His words. Not mine.
7. TIFU by eating my coworkers sandwich instead of mine. oops wrong sub.
8. I took a kleptomania exam. It wasn't mine, but I took it anyway.
9. My girlfriend is in the hospital after she ate a giant bacon cheese burger. It was mine.
10. What do you call an i**... Italian immigrant? an imPASTA!
11. A friend of mine and I were both born on 4/20. We always have a joint birthday party.
12. What do you get if you drop a piano down a mine shaft? A flat miner
13. Me and my childhood crush are marrying next year Hers is in February and mine in July
14. How's y'all's summer bods looking? Mines looking like I have a great personality.
15. Did you hear the one about the guy who hated coal? Never mined.

2 Mining Jokes

Here is a list of funny 2 mining jokes and even better 2 mining puns that will make you laugh with friends.

• I'm giving up on these electric toothbrushes. Mine goes through 2 batteries a week and always starts to smell like fish. On an unrelated side note, my girlfriend has been in a good mood lately.
• I've had 7 wives... 2 of them were mine.
• Worst joke you know? Here is mine:
  Who are the fastest readers on earth?
  9/11 patients. They can do 87 stories in less than 2 minutes.
• Yesterday I was arguing with a friend of mine... He Shouted: (2,3)
  Well, at least he had a point
• 2 little boys are arguing About whose dad has a better job. First says "mines a Dr." second says " well mines a lawyer" first says in disbelief " honest? " second says " naw the usual kind"
• Repost A friend of mine posted a joke about an ostrich with a broken leg 2 years ago. so many people have reposted it since then that it's still running.
• After 5 years of marriage. After 5 years of marriage I found out my wife has 2 incomes, hers and mine.....
• A friend of mine once chugged 2 straight gallons of milk It was legendairy.
• [MATH] Eric: Dad, I really hate my math teacher. The topic was about circles & he can't properly explain how he got his 2 Pi... Dad: Probably where I got mine son.
  *Yes, it's real*
• 2 guys are having a conversation ''Man i'm telling you my mother-in-law is an angel.''
  ''You're lucky m8.... mine is still alive''

Mining Bad Jokes

Here is a list of funny mining bad jokes and even better mining bad puns that will make you laugh with friends.

• Some people think glasses make you look bad Mine help me look better
• I asked a friend of mine what it was like being a herb farmer.... ...He said its not so bad and that he had a lot of thyme on his hands.
• Don't know why used car salesmen get such a bad rap. Mine knocked 20 bucks off the muffler tax just because he liked my face!
• Christmas in the USSR is as such: good children get coal, bad children mine coal for next year
• I was told some bad news last month. A good friend of mine had fallen into an upholstering machine and suffered terrible injuries. The good news is he's now fully recovered
• You think your puns are bad? Just wait until you sea mine
• Before I tell my wife some bad news, I take both her hands in mine. That way she can't hit me
• You thought your puns were bad? Just wait till you sea mine.
• let's trade bad Trump jokes here! Here's mine:
  Trump tweets are like a diabetic's toenails : inflammatory, dangerous, and a symptome of a much bigger problem
• A friend of mine died while redecorating his living room the other day :( I feel bad for him, but at the end of the day he only has his shelf to blame.

Coal Mining Jokes

Here is a list of funny coal mining jokes and even better coal mining puns that will make you laugh with friends.

• What's the difference between a coal mining company and catholic priests? A coal mining company puts miners in shafts.
• Have you heard the one about the untouched coal pit? Never mined.
• A coal miner is driving to work one day. He gets pulled over by the police. The officer asks, who's car is this? Where are you going? What do you do for a living?
  The man responds "mine"
• Reddit rules say no jokes involving minors.... That's a shame cos I've got a great one about the coal mine I use to work in.
• A Priest walks into a coal mine after hours. He ask, where are all the miners?
• I used to work at a coal mine But I left because the bars didn't allow miners
• Sorry about the temperature down the mine today It's coal man
• Why did the sloths vote to keep the coal mines open? Because when it comes to energy they're conservative.
• So I wrote a Musical It was about a tragic coal mining operation ,unfortunately, the cave collapsed and the workers inside were killed.
  
  I decided to write it in A flat minor.
• I think someone is stealing coal from my coal mine ​​One day he'd sure be caught black handed

Mining Town Jokes

Here is a list of funny mining town jokes and even better mining town puns that will make you laugh with friends.

• I just made life a whole lot simpler for an overweight friend of mine... I explained to him that every restaurant in town is an "all you can eat" place.
• I just found out that 60% of the women in my town are battered! And I'm still eating mine plain.
• A gigantic gas e**... in a coal mine in the next town killed thirty workers and hospitalised two hundred. But I refused to give to the support charity. After all, it was only *miner* injuries.

Mining Engineer Jokes

Here is a list of funny mining engineer jokes and even better mining engineer puns that will make you laugh with friends.

• A buddy of mine is a railroad engineer. I asked him how many derailments he had He lost count. It's hard to keep track.
• What kind of drug can you genetically engineer a goat to make? Am-feta-mines.

Gather Around for Heartwarming Mining Jokes and Uplifting Humor

What funny jokes about mining you can tell and make people laugh? An example I can give is a clean manufacturing jokes that will for sure put a smile on everyones mouth and help you make mining pranks.