mining Jokes

funny pick up lines and hilarious mining puns

At a Nazi mine, a worker calls out to Hitler:

"Sir, we are mining too many useless Ores"

[Hitler rubs his chin, contemplating]

"So mine less"

[Grammar Nazi chimes in, from above]


[Hitler looks up]



"Sir we're mining too many useless minerals."

Hitler: "Mine less then."
*grammar nazi bursts in*

"Mine fewer"

*Hitler looks over* "Yes?"


Hitler on mining

"Sir, we are mining too many useless ores"

[Hitler rubs chin]

"So mine less"

[Grammar Nazi bursts through the door]


[Hitler looks up]



Grammar Nazi.

"Sir, we are mining too many useless cores"
[Hitler rubs chin]
"So, mine less.
[Grammar Nazi bursts through the door]
[Hitler looks up]
"Yes, soldier?"


Grammer Nazi

"Sir we are mining too many useless minerals" (hitler scratches his chin in contemplation) Mine less then. (grammar nazi barges in) mine FEWER (hitler turns to the man) Yes? What do you need?


What's the difference between a coal mining company and catholic priests?

A coal mining company puts miners in shafts.


Hitler pun

"Sir, we're mining too many useless minerals."

Hitler: "So mine less."

Grammar Nazi busts in.

(Hitler looks up) "Yes?"


What's the difference between a priest and a chilean mining company?

One gets its miners stuck in shafts, and the other gets its shaft stuck in minors.


Whats the difference between a coal mining company and the Catholic Church?

A coal mining company puts miners in shafts not the other way around.......


Grammar Nazi vs. Hitler

Soldier:"Sir, we are mining too many useless ores."
Hitler:"So mine less!"
[Grammar Nazi busts in]
[Hitler looks up] "Yes?"


Hitler is speaking to his advisers...

He was surrounded by all of the lead managers and advisers of his entire Reich. His main adviser told him how amazing and efficient Germany was.

"All of ze industries are over performing and creating enough resources for ze new world. Except perhaps ze mining industry, sir. Zey are performing so vell, ve have TOO much ore! Should ve cut ze number of ores ve mine?"

Hitler thinks for a bit and agrees with "Yes, then ve shall mine less ore,"

Just then, another adviser barged into the room and yelled: "MINE FEWER!"


German Mining Company

German miner, "herr supervisor, we're working so many hours and we're so efficient that within a year we will run out of ore to mine."

Mine Supervisor, "this is a problem. A very bad problem."

Miner, "what do you suggest we do?"

Supervisor, "Mein Fuhrer."


A grammar nazi was working in the iron mines

A grammar nazi was working in the iron mines, when one of the miners went up to Hitler and gave him a report.

Hitler told the man, "You are mining too much iron. Mine less!"

The grammar nazi could not help himself and shouted, "Mine fewer!"

Hitler said, "Yes?"


Sir, we're mining useless ores!

A soldier said, "Sir, we're mining useless ores!"

Hitler thinks for a minute and responds, "Mine less."

A grammar nazi runs up and says, "MINE FEWER"

Hitler looks up, "Yes?"


Why was the dwarfs mining business so successful?

Because his overheads were very low.


My friend started a company that digs rocks and minerals..

He's just mining his own business.


How are Chile mining companies and catholic priests different?

Chile mining companies get their minors stuck in shafts while catholic priests get their shafts stuck in minors


I started a new job as a miner last week.

I had to quit because whenever I put my mining hat on I felt light-headed.


I ain't saying she's a gold digger. . .

But you don't buy a pickaxe and mining helmet on a whim


What do you get when you push a piano down a mining shaft?

A flat minor.


Girl, do you support the industrial mining of mountaintops?

Cuz I'm tryna get in Djibouti


Browsing this sub is like mining in a cave

Full of bat shit and I mostly get the same things over again, but it's worth the occasional gold I find.


What did the owner of the mining rig say to his workers after they blasted the rock and found gold underneath?

Wow this really blew up! Thanks for the gold!


Why dont you bother someone who is digging in his toilet?

Hes just mining his own business


Grammar Fuhrer

One of Hitler's assistants says to him one day, "Sir, we're mining too many useless ores."

Hitler replies, "Well, mine less."

A grammar nazi then bursts through the door and shouts, "Mine FEWER!"

Hitler looks up and asks, "Yes?"


An elderly prospector was mining for gold with his daughter, Anne.

He chipped away and mined the ore while she maintained the camp and washed and organized anything he found.

They had a system where any time she found something special, she would light a special red lantern to let him know.

She wasn't very good at identifying gold though, and often misinterpreted the shine from mica or quartz as the gleam of a gold nugget.

After the third time in a day that she lit up the red lantern to falsely notify him of a newly found nugget, he grew angry and yelled at her.

"God dammit! They're rocks, Anne. You don't have to put on the red light!"


"Sir, we're mining too many useless minerals!"

Trump: "Mine less then"

Grammar nazi bursts in and says: "mine fewer"

Trump turns his head and says: "Yes?"

Credits to u/luckyloot98 I changed their joke a bit.


So a teddy bear got a job at a mine...

Once upon a time, there was a teddy bear, and that teddy bear got a job at a mine.

On his first day there, he got up in the morning, grabbed his pick, and did a good day of mining, then he went to sleep.

The next day, he got up, grabbed his pick, and did an even BETTER day of mining, then he went to sleep.

On his third day though, he got up in the morning, and his pick was nowhere to be found! He searched and searched and searched, but he could not find it anywhere! In fact, he wasted a whole day searching before he gave up and visited the foreman of the mine. When he asked his pick, the foreman looked at him and said Oh don't you know? Today's the day the teddy bears get their picks nicked!

(Sorry if this has been posted before, I was compiling all of my favourite jokes and I though you guys might like this one)


What do you call a 17 year old who has been mining his whole life?

A Veteran Minor.


Did you hear about the rapper who was in the mining accident?

Now every time he opens his mouth it's nothing but rock.


I used to work for a mining company . . .

It was a boring job; just a slow daily grind.

I would find myself in a depression everyday; unable to see the light at the end of the tunnel.

One day, the whole drill got to be too dull and as I was about to do something to remedy the situation, everything started to crumble down around me.

I decided I needed to get out of there in a hurry.

So I went for a drink, but as luck would have it, everyone refused to serve a miner.


So I wrote a Musical

It was about a tragic coal mining operation ,unfortunately, the cave collapsed and the workers inside were killed.

I decided to write it in A flat minor.


How is the CopiapΓ³ mining accident and the Jared Fogle scandal the same?

In both cases some miners got screwed


Finally accepted to the Mining Hall of Fame!

I can't tell you how happy I am.


(Oc) Today I met a child playing minecraft, with all the sound effects being a single note from a keyboard

A minor mining in A minor


What are the most funny Mining jokes of all time ?

Did you ever wanted to stand out with a good sense of humour joking with someone about Mining? Well, here are the best Mining dad jokes to laugh out loud. Crazy funny puns and Mining pick up lines to share with friends.

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