Mining Bad Jokes
30 mining bad jokes and hilarious mining bad puns to laugh out loud. Read jokes about mining bad that are clean and suitable for kids and friends.
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Funniest Mining Bad Short Jokes
Short mining bad jokes and puns are one of the best ways to have fun with word play in English. The mining bad humour may include short coal mining jokes also.
- I don't understand all these jokes about mothers-in-law. Mine is sweet, supportive, and a great influence on me and my wife. I can't say anything bad about her.
- I asked a friend of mine what it was like being a herb farmer.... ...He said its not so bad and that he had a lot of thyme on his hands.
- Don't know why used car salesmen get such a bad rap. Mine knocked 20 bucks off the muffler tax just because he liked my face!
- Christmas in the USSR is as such: good children get coal, bad children mine coal for next year
- I was told some bad news last month. A good friend of mine had fallen into an upholstering machine and suffered terrible injuries. The good news is he's now fully recovered
- Before I tell my wife some bad news, I take both her hands in mine. That way she can't hit me
- let's trade bad Trump jokes here! Here's mine:
Trump tweets are like a diabetic's toenails : inflammatory, dangerous, and a symptome of a much bigger problem - A friend of mine died while redecorating his living room the other day :( I feel bad for him, but at the end of the day he only has his shelf to blame.
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Mining Bad One Liners
Which mining bad one liners are funny enough to crack down and make fun with mining bad? I can suggest the ones about 2 mining and bad good.
- Some people think glasses make you look bad Mine help me look better
- You thought your puns were bad? Just wait till you sea mine.
- Mother Teresa Cosplay It's a bad habit of mine
- You think your puns are bad? Just wait until you sea mine
Mining Bad Funny Jokes And Hilarious Puns.
What funny jokes about mining bad you can tell and make people laugh? An example I can give is a clean coal miner jokes that will for sure put a smile on everyones mouth and help you make mining bad pranks.
After being with her all evening, the man couldn't take another minute with his blind date.
Earlier, he had secretly arranged to have a friend call him on the phone so he would have an excuse to leave if something like this happened.
When he returned to the table, he lowered his eyes, put on a grim expression and said, "I have some bad news. My grandfather just died."
"Thank heavens," his date replied. "If yours hadn't, mine would have had to!"
German Mining Company
German miner, "herr supervisor, we're working so many hours and we're so efficient that within a year we will run out of ore to mine."
Mine Supervisor, "this is a problem. A very bad problem."
Miner, "what do you suggest we do?"
Supervisor, "Mein Fuhrer."
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
The doctor told him some bad news.
A few years ago a friend of mine tried to commit s**..., he had gone to the doctor for test results and found out he was dyslexic he was so upset he went outside and jumped behind a bus.
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
Half of relationships end because of bad s**.... Mine however ended because of good s**...
... with another woman.
Code red for storm Eunice in The Netherlands
A friend of mine is now on Texel, one of the Dutch Wadden Islands, off the coast of The Netherlands. Sadly, the weather conditions there are very, very bad. The perceived temperature is close to freezing, lots of heavy rain, and wind gusts of close to 100 mph (150 km/h). They are now completely isolated, they cannot leave. They're completely stuck. His mother-in-law does nothing but look through the kitchen window. He's thinking, if it continues like this, he'll have no choice but to let her in...
I bought my first brand new iPhone and I was so excited
My friends had been telling me how much they love their's but mine's been nothing but trouble from WiFi problems to dropped calls to rebooting out of nowhere. I'm starting to think my friends lied to me or maybe I just got a bad apple.
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
This is a bad one
I was once at a party. After some time I noticed that I lost my watch. I was looking for it everywhere. I finally saw it laying on the floor on the other side of the room. When I got there, I witnessed how some guy stepped on it, while harassing a girl. Filled with rage I went up to him and punched him on the nose. No one treats a girl like that. Not on my watch!
P.s.: not mine I found it in the comments on pornhub
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
(Bad) Chemistry Pun
teacher: why does bromine bond to this molecule instead of one of the other halogens?
me: because bromines before h**...-mines
(met with groans and laughs from the class)
you're all right
A friend of mine recently got into a really bad accident, they had to amputate his left arm and left leg. When I visited him in the hospital he was very upset, so I told him the important thing is you're all right. he looked me in the eyes, "how can I be all right" he lamented "when I have nothing left?"
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
2 Woman go drinking...
after a lot of drinks they decide to head home but on the way realise they have to use a bathroom but as its late there is no one to be found.
So both decided to head for the local cementary...as they had nothing to wipe, the first woman decides to sacrifice her p**....
The second one had really expensive p**... so she just grabbed a ribbon from a nearby grave and both head home.
The next morning both husbands meet:
"This has to stop, my wife came home without p**...!"
"You think THAT is bad? Mine had a pice of ribbon in hers that reads "from all of us at the police station - we will never forget you.""
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
Who is your favorite rapper?
Mine is Bill Cosby, WAIT no I meant favorite r**... not rapper, my bad
Two 12 year olds are in the hospital...
Two 12 year old boys are in the hospital, both on gurneys waiting to be wheeled into surgery. The first boy says to the other, "What are you here for?"
The second boy says, "I'm having my tonsils removed."
"Oh, I had my tonsils removed a few years ago. It wasn't that bad, and I got lots of ice cream after."
"So what are you here for?", asks the second boy.
"I'm getting a circumcision."
"Oh geez, good luck. I had mine done when I was a baby and I couldn't walk for 12 months afterwards."
Credit goes to my Finance professor, who told this joke as his opening statement for his retirement banquet speech.
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
No More Girls' Night Out
Two wives go out for a girls' night out. Both got drunk, started walking home, and had to pee.
They stopped at a cemetery but had nothing to wipe with.
One wife used her p**... and the other wife grabbed a wreath off a grave.
The next morning, one husband called the other and said, "No more girls' night out! My wife came home with no p**...!"
The other husband replied, "You think that's bad? Mine came home with a card in her crack that said 'From all of us at the fire station... we'll never forget you.'"
An old sailor was out walking on the dock one day when he met a former ship mate of his.
They had not seen each other for many years so they had much to talk about and many old memories to renew.
After some time, one said to the other, "If you don’t mind my saying so, you don’t look very good, you must have experienced some bad luck."
"Yes," the other one said, "I have. You see this peg leg? Well, one day I was out on deck and my leg become dangled up in a loose line and it was so badly mangled that they had to take it off at the knee."
His friend agreed that was bad luck.
The other one continued. "You see I have a hook for a hand. One day I was out on deck when a shipmate of mine fell overboard. I leaned over as far as I could in a attempt to rescue him and as I extended my hand to him a shark took my hand off."
"My, you really did experience bad luck, the other responded, I see you have a patch over one eye, What happened to your eye?"
"Well, I was out on deck again one day and just as I looked up, a seagull that was flying over , unloaded, and got me right in the eye."
"My, My,(not real sailor talk) did that take your eye out?"
"No, that was the first day I had my hook."