The Best 52 Minimum Jokes

Following is our collection of funny Minimum jokes. There are some minimum profound jokes no one knows (to tell your friends) and to make you laugh out loud.

Take your time to read those puns and riddles where you ask a question with answers, or where the setup is the punchline. We hope you will find these minimum minimal puns funny enough to tell and make people laugh.

Top 10 of the Funniest Minimum Jokes and Puns

A Jewish lady wants an obituary for her husband.

A Jewish lady calls the New York Times and says "I want an obituary for my husband." The person at the times says "it's 10$ a word". "10$ a word!" The lady exclaims. "Fine" she says "Burnstein dies". The lady says "there is a minimum of 5 words". "Fine" she grumbles, "Burnstein dies Buick for sale".

So an old Jewish man dies

So an old Jewish man dies and as per his last wish, his son goes to the newspaper publisher and asks, "How much for an obituary in your newspaper?"

Publisher says, "$5 per word".

The son says, "Publish 'Jacob Goldberg Dead' ".

The publisher says, "We require minimum 6 words".

So the son says, "In that case make it 'Jacob Goldberg Dead, Wheelchair For Sale' ".

How many bears does it take to screw in a lightbulb?

The bear minimum

Minimum joke, How many bears does it take to screw in a lightbulb?

My 20/15 eyesight is really helpful during tough economic times...

because a lot of jobs require minimum supervision.

China won bronze in gymnastics at the Sydney 2000 Olympics but were stripped of the medal after it was revealed that Dong Fangxiao was under the minimum age of 16

And they would have gotten away with it if it weren't for those medalling kids.


What's a Grecian Urn?

About 2 bucks an hour depending on what the current minimum wage is.

I guess some things will never change...

I hired a temp while my secretary was on maternity leave.
Trying to arrive at an agreeable wage, I asked what she expected to earn.
She said, "Well... the minimum I could work for is $400 a week.
"I told her I'd give her that much with pleasure. She shook her head and replied,
"With pleasure, it'll be $600 a week."

Minimum joke, I guess some things will never change...

How To Translate Work Emails

I have a question. = I have 18 questions.

I'll look into it. = I've already forgotten about it.

I tried my best. = I did the bare minimum.

Happy to discuss further. = Don't ask me about this again.

No worries. = You really messed up this time.

Take care. = This is the last you'll ever hear from me.

Cheers! = I have no respect for you or myself!

What do you call your mum who is shorter than you?

A minimum.

How many babies does it take to paint a house?

None. The minimum age for physical labour in most places is 13-15 and babies would not be allowed to use the paint

An old Jewish man dies.

His last wish to his son is to print an obituary. The son goes to newspaper office and asks how much they charge for an obituary. They tell him $5 per word.

He says then print "Solomon dead". The newspaper tell him they require minimum 5 words. He thinks for a moment and says, then make it "Solomon dead, wheelchair for sale".

You can explore minimum minus reddit one liners, including funnies and gags. Read them and you will understand what jokes are funny? Those of you who have teens can tell them clean minimum requirement dad jokes. There are also minimum puns for kids, 5 year olds, boys and girls.


TIL that they have raised the minimum drinking age in Arkansas to 32.

It seems they want to keep alcohol out of the high schools.

Give a man a pizza and he eats for a day

Teach a man how to make a pizza and he will work minimum wage

Pay me what I'm worth!

I once asked my boss for a raise.
He asked me how much I wanted.
"Just pay me what I'm worth," I said.
He replied, "I can't. There's a minimum wage law."

I am extremely picky about what I eat.

Everything I eat must absolutely be describable with a word that begins with "F". It must also must also end with "D". And finally, it should have two "O"'s in it. I simply will not eat anything that does not meet my minimum criteria.

7 Great Wonders of Communism:

1. Universal employment.
2. Despite universal employment, no one works at all.
3. Despite no one working, all economic plans were fulfilled to 100% minimum.
4. Despite plans being fulfilled above the 100% requisite, shops remained empty.
5. Despite shops being empty, everyone had everything.
6. Despite everyone having everything, everyone remained a thief.
7. Despite the universal theft, no one was ever missing anything.

Minimum joke, 7 Great Wonders of Communism:

The Coast Guard recently changed their minimum height requirements to 6'.

That way if the boat sinks everyone can just walk to shore.

Verizon made a new minimum security prison and despite what many would believe its very successful.

its got no bars but you still cant get out of it for 2 years

What's the bare minimum?

1 Bear


What do hookers and tattoo artists have in common?

The minimum is $60, unless you're willing to risk catching a disease.

What do you call a naked dwarf?

The bare minimum

A guy goes to a job interview.

At the end of the interview the boss says:
-We will hire you, but you will start at the minimum salary. Later on it will increase.
The guy replied:
-Ok! Then I guess I'll see you later!

Spongebob was the most unrealistic kid's show

A teenager in a minimum wage job owning a house and car. Pfft

Whats the bear minimum?

1 Bear.

Why are Grizzlies such horrible employees?

They will only do the bear minimum

If a tall lesbian and a short lesbian have a baby...

...you could call them maxi-mum and mini-mum.

What do you call a small mama bear?

Bear mini-mum

What did Spiderman say when he worked at MacDonalds?

With minimum wage comes minimum responsibility.

They said 9/11 was an inside job, but that would never happen again in this day and age.

They would probably want a minimum of 10 years of experience in suicide bombing for an entry level position.

What does changing a password and my wife have in common?

They both keep saying "the input provided does not meet the minimum length requirements."

Entry level job ad

Minimum 8 years of experience

"Just the bonuses for the CEO's on Wall Street equals the amount of what half of all American's make on minimum wage in a year" : New York Times

But we have a national holiday today called Labor Day

My doctor just thanked me for submitting the minimum amount of feces for my stool sample.

I told him it was the least I could doo.

If you know nothing about constellations at least learn Ursa Minor

...that's the bear minimum.

They told me to go to the zoo and steal as many bears as I could

I got away with the bear minimum

What is the minimum amount of birds to change a lightbulb?

One can't, but Toucan

What's the minimum GPA needed to go to USC?

$500,000.00

If you do these things every day for 30 days straight you will be unrecognizable

1. Sleep 8+ hours everyday.

2. Drink four 8oz glasses of water minimum daily.

3. Get outside in the sun everyday.

4. No sugar.

5. Read for 30 mins each day.

6. Workout for 1hr 3 times a week

7. Capture someone, cut their face off then sew it onto your face.

8. Meditate for 10 mins everyday.

If you do these things for 30 days you will be unrecognisable.



1. Sleep 8+ hours everyday.



2. Drink 3L of water minimum daily.



3. Get outside in the sun everyday.



4. No sugar.



5. Read for 30 mins each day.



6. Workout for 1hr 3 times a week



7. Capture someone and cut their face off then sew it onto your face.



8. Meditate for 10 mins everyday.

What do you Call a

What do you call a small mother?

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A Minimum.

Why is Tom Brady against raising the federal minimum wage?

He doesn't want things to get too inflated.

My sister said she wanted to be a model

I told her that it would take 20 minutes in photoshop minimum

What do you call a small mother?

A minimum!

Study suggests that a man does sex for a minimum 30 times a year.

Looks like it is going to be fun December for me.

What do you call a cub at it's smallest point?

Bear minimum

If you want to learn constellations, you should learn how to identify Ursa Minor...

- at a bear minimum

I have only one rule when it comes to attire

I dress to meet the bare minimum standards that any given occasion dictates.

I call it...

Occam's Blazer.

"Bill to ban shark fin harvesting", and "Bill to increase minimum wage" and "Bill to help ease the burden of Vets"...with all these good things happening, it makes me wonder...

...why did he wait so long?

What's the difference between a bench and the minimum wage?

A bench can support a family.

TIL Texas is called the lone star state

because it was the minimum allowed in a 5 star rating system

What do you call the smallest mother?

The minimum

(Not OPs, but chuckled, heart = warm)

A guy calls Newspaper office to print death news of his Grandpa.

Clerk: $50 per word…
Guy: Grandpa Dead
Clerk: Sorry Sir, Minimum 5 words required…
Guy: Grandpa Dead, Wheelchair for Sale

Just think that there are jokes based on truth that can bring down governments, or jokes which make girl laugh. Many of the minimum mandatory jokes and puns are jokes supposed to be funny, but some can be offensive. When jokes go too far, are mean or racist, we try to silence them and it will be great if you give us feedback every time when a joke become bullying and inappropriate.

We suggest to use only working minimum obituaries piadas for adults and blagues for friends. Some of the dirty witze and dark jokes are funny, but use them with caution in real life. Try to remember funny jokes you've never heard to tell your friends and will make you laugh.

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