Mines Jokes
50 mines jokes and hilarious mines puns to laugh out loud. Read jokes about mines that are clean and suitable for kids and friends.
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Funniest Mines Short Jokes
Short mines jokes and puns are one of the best ways to have fun with word play in English. The mines humour may include short landmine jokes also.
- I don't understand all these jokes about mothers-in-law. Mine is sweet, supportive, and a great influence on me and my wife. I can't say anything bad about her.
- I was dismayed this afternoon when my wife told me my 6 year old son wasn't actually mine. She then said I need to pay more attention at school pick up.
- A cop stops a miner for speeding on the highway COP: Whose car is this? Where are you headed? What do you do?
miner: mine - The cop asked, "Whose car is this? Where are you headed? What do you do?" The miner replied, "Mine."
- For Valentine's Day, my wife finally fulfilled a fantasy of mine when dressed up as a nurse. At last, I got to roleplay having access to healthcare.
- My wife accused me of hating her family and relatives... I replied, "No, I don't hate your relatives. In fact, I like your mother-in-law a lot better than I like mine."
- I asked my pregnant librarian when her baby was due She said, "Oh the baby is mine, I get to keep it"
- During my prostate exam I asked the doctor, "where should I put my pants"? "Over there by mine", was not the answer I was expecting.
- A policeman stops a car... Policeman: Whose car is this, where are you headed and what do you do for a living? Miner: Mine.
- A Genie once granted me one wish, so I said I just want to be happy . So now I'm living in a little cottage with 6 dwarfs, working in a mine and singing ?'Whistle while you work…….' ?
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Mines One Liners
Which mines one liners are funny enough to crack down and make fun with mines? I can suggest the ones about mining and coal mining.
- Hey baby, are you a GPU? Cause I wanna make you mine.
- A friend of mine, a mother of four, refused to have her children vaccinated.
- Farts are like children I'm proud of mine but disgusted by yours
- My professor accused me of plagiarism His words, not mine.
- Today I ended a long term relationship. I don't really care though, it wasn't mine.
- My teacher accused me of plagiarising my paper. His words. Not mine.
- TIFU by eating my coworkers sandwich instead of mine. oops wrong sub.
- I took a kleptomania exam. It wasn't mine, but I took it anyway.
- My girlfriend is in the hospital after she ate a giant bacon cheese burger. It was mine.
- What do you call an i**... Italian immigrant? an imPASTA!
- A friend of mine and I were both born on 4/20. We always have a joint birthday party.
- What do you get if you drop a piano down a mine shaft? A flat miner
- Me and my childhood crush are marrying next year Hers is in February and mine in July
- How's y'all's summer bods looking? Mines looking like I have a great personality.
- Did you hear the one about the guy who hated coal? Never mined.
Cheerful Fun Mines Jokes to Brighten Your Day with Humor and Joy
What funny jokes about mines you can tell and make people laugh? An example I can give is a clean 2 mining jokes that will for sure put a smile on everyones mouth and help you make mines pranks.
I opened a company selling land mines that look like prayer mats.
Prophets are going through the roof.
Investment Opportunity: You might want to consider getting on board early...
A British Engineer just started his own business in Afghanistan. He's making land mines that look like prayer mats. It's doing very well. He says prophets are going through the roof.
I started a company..
I started a company selling land mines disguised as prayer mats. Prophets are going through the roof!
I started selling land mines disguised as prayer mats
Prophets are going through the roof.
(Yes it's old, but I still love it)
Minesweeper
It's either a computer game or an angry German custodian yelling at kids who stole his broom.
I made a company that disguises land mines as prayer mats...
Prophets are through the roof
I have an EpiPen
I don't need it but I always keep it for sentimental value.
A friend of mines gave it to me as he was dying, I don't know why but it seemed very important to him I had it.
A friend of mine just started his own business in Afghanistan..
making land mines that look like prayer mats. He's doing very well, business is booming and Prophets are going through the roof.
A man walks into a bar after a long day in the mines
He asks the bartender for some whiskey, but the bartender replies; "Sorry, we can't sell alcohol to miners."
I arranged a fundraising event for victims of land mines last week. Total waste of time though!!
Only half the people turned up.
An Englishman starts his own business in Afganistan
He is making land mines that look like prayer mats! He is doing quite well! Profits are going through the roof!
Two guys are hanging out
o**... says
"I'm so so lucky my wife is an angel"
To which the other responds
"Lucky. Mines still alive"
Everybody needs a bosom for a pillow
Mines made of mammary foam
In a hospital serving victims of land mines, a little girl wakes up from surgery.
Little Girl: Doctor, something is wrong... I can't feel my legs!
Doctor: Yes, we've had to amputate both your arms.
A new type of product !
I opened a company selling land mines disguised as prayer mats. Prophets are going through the roof.
In soviet russia, there are no mines.
There are just ours.
My dad just got arrested for assaulting a minor..
Which is b**..., he didn't even work in the mines!
Here a fun fact, the Soviet Union didn't use land mines,
They used land ours.
Feminists are like proximity mines.
Anything can trigger them and they blow it way out of proportion.
Minesweeper
What h**... called his cleaning lady.
Medical science has come a long way.
There's a tribe in Africa whose exposure to chemical runoff in the water from local mines created birth defects. One out of every three children are born with no eyelids. Volunteer doctors created a procedure where they take the f**... from new born males and create eyelids for those born without them. The procedure has been highly successful, although the children do look a little cockeyed.
What do the Russians call their mines?
Ours.
Did you hear about the arms dealer who's giving away M18 Claymores with every purchase?
Oh, I'm gonna get mines.
Prince Harry goes up to William at the wedding and says Have you seen Dad ?
William replies He wasn't invited mate, but mines over there dancing with Camilla .
2 little boys are arguing
About whose dad has a better job. First says "mines a Dr." second says " well mines a lawyer" first says in disbelief " honest? " second says " naw the usual kind"
I created an online website selling land mines disguised as prayer mats...
Prophets went through the roof
Note: repost, thanks to the kind user who corrected me
I started a company that makes land mines that look like prayer mats.
Business is definitely booming, because prophets are going through the roof.
Who's your favourite Christian rock band?
Mines psalm 41
I created an online website selling prayer mats disguised as land mines...
Prophets are going through the roof
Why did the sloths vote to keep the coal mines open?
Because when it comes to energy they're conservative.
What's your favorite food, on a scale of 1-10?
Mines 3.14159265359...
prophets
this guy is making mines cleverly disguised as prayer mats. he says his prophets are going through the roof!
Barbara Walters once did a story on gender roles in Kabul, Afghanistan, several years before the Afghan conflict. She noted that women customarily walked five paces behind their husbands...
Land mines.
For the upcoming new year I made a raunchy calendar involving buff, handsome men from the mines. I was arrested by the police.
For s**... or suggestive content involving Miners.
