Miner Jokes

Humoristic puns and funny pick up lines

A cop stops a miner for speeding on the highway

COP: Whose car is this? Where are you headed? What do you do?

Miner: mine

I saw a guy today with soot all over his face carrying a large pick axe and wearing a royal blue hardhat that matched his overalls.

But these are just miner details.

Do you know how to confuse a coal miner?

Show him a row of shovels and tell him to take his pick.

*cop pulls over a driver*

Cop: Who's car is this? Where are you headed? What do you do?
Miner: Mine.

A cop pulls over a miner and asks

"Sir, whose car is this? Where are you headed? What do you do as a profession?"

And the miner replies "Mine."

What do you get if you drop a piano down a mine shaft?

A flat miner

I wrote a song about a coal digger having sex with a 15 year old.

I call it 'A Miner in a Minor' in A minor.

What do you call an insignificant underage coal digger?

A minor minor miner

A miner walks into a San Francisco bar.

He's been working out in the gold mines for 6 months and is desperately craving the company of a woman. He walks up to the bartender and asks, "I don't suppose you have any women? I haven't had sex in months..."
The bartender replies, "No, sorry... BUT we do have Chinaman Charlie out back if you want".
The miner says "Thanks, but I don't swing that way", and turns around and heads back to the mines.

He comes back in another 6 months, and asks again. "Do you have any women since I was here last time?"
"No, but we still have Chinaman Charlie"
"Sorry, I don't swing that way". The miner buys a whiskey and turns around and walks out the door and goes back to work in the mines.

6 months after that, the miner comes back to the bar.
"You get any women? It's been a year since my first visit..."
"No man, sorry. We still have Chinaman Charlie though".

Now, the miner is pretty desperate at this point. It's been 18 months since he last got laid, and he's tired of waiting. After some deep consideration, the miner sighs and says, "Alright fine. The only people that'll know about this is you, me, and Chinaman Charlie, right?"

"Yep. And the two men that hold him down," says the bartender.
"Why would there be two men holding him down?" The miner asks with a confused look on his face.

"Chinaman Charlie doesn't swing that way either".

Cop: Who's car is this? Where are you heading? What do you do?

Miner: Mine.

The meanest, toughest and roughest hooker in the Yukon

One day, after striking gold in Alaska, a Lonesome miner came down from the mountains and walked into a saloon in the nearest town.

"I'm lookin' for the meanest, toughest and roughest hooker in the Yukon," he said to the bartender.

"We got her" replied the bartender. "She's upstairs in the second room on the right."

The miner handed the bartender a gold nugget to pay for the hooker and two beers. He grabbed the bottles, stomped up the stairs, kicked the door open on the second door on the right and yelled, "I'm looking for the meanest roughest and toughest hooker in the Yukon."

The woman inside the room looked at the miner and said, "You found her!"

Then she stripped naked, bent over and grabbed her ankles.

"How do you know I want that position first?" asked the miner.

"I don't," replied the hooker, "but I thought you might want to open those beers first."

German Mining Company

German miner, "herr supervisor, we're working so many hours and we're so efficient that within a year we will run out of ore to mine."

Mine Supervisor, "this is a problem. A very bad problem."

Miner, "what do you suggest we do?"

Supervisor, "Mein Fuhrer."

What do you call an underage who works in a quarry?

A Miner.

How Do Miners Make Money?

By stripping or working the shaft.

I went digging for gold but didn't find anything

It was a miner frustration

Told my wife we'd have to stop sleeping together if I get this job with a mineral extraction company.

Yeah, in most states it's illegal to have sex with a miner.

I started a new job as a miner last week.

I had to quit because whenever I put my mining hat on I felt light-headed.

What do you call a young gold digger?

A miner

Two miners walk out of the mine after a hard days work, one carrying a shovel and the other a stick. The one carrying the shovel turns and asks, "Where's your shovel?"

And the other responds, "sure does".

My cousin thinks it's illegal to have sex with someone who digs for coal.

She says it's against the law to be with a miner.

Did you hear about the man who was attacked with a pickaxe?

He escaped with miner injuries.

A miner said he could make anyone laugh

He showed me something

And I immediately burst out laughing

What was it?

A shiny yellow stone

It was comedy gold

Confucius say, piano falls down mineshaft...

Get tone of A Flat Miner.

Old Joe and the miner

A grizzled old miner comes out of the wilderness and steps into the pub. Pulling out a gold nugget and placing it on the bar he asks the bartender "You got any whiskey in this establishment?"

The bartender complies and places a glass and a bottle in front of the miner.

After a few drinks the miner asks the bartender "You got any women in this establishment?"

The bartender replies "No, but we've got old Joe out back."

The miner shakes his head and says. "It's been a long while, but I'm not into that sort of thing."

After quite a few more drinks he calls the bartender over again and says "So lets say I was into that sort of thing after all, who would have to know about it?"

"Just you, me and those guys at the table over there" replies the bartender.

"Those guys? Why would those guys need to know?" asks the miner

"Well they gotta hold Old Joe down. He's not into that sort of thing either."

Three women drinking

Three women were sitting around throwing back a few drinks and talking about their love lives.
One woman said, "I call my husband the dentist. Nobody can drill like he does."
The second woman giggled and confessed, "I call my husband the miner because of his incredible shaft."
The third woman quietly sipped her whiskey until her friend asked, "So, what do you call your husband?"
She frowned and said, "The postman."
"Why the postman?"
"Because he always delivers late, and half the time it's in the wrong box."

What happens when you drop a piano down a mineshaft?

A flat miner

Why did the miner feel so low?

He was in a deep depression.

Had a conversation with a Miner about the effects it had on the environment.

The conversation got rocky.

A miner is selling raw ore...

He's approached by a blacksmith who says, "I'll take it."
The miner questions, "Which one?"
Blacksmith replies," Either ore."

BADUMTISSSS

If minerals were people, who would be the poorest?

Stibnite, because it's antimony.

What did the miner say to the other miner that was eavesdropping on his conversation?

Mine your own business!

(Courtesy of my nine year old)

A miner walks into a saloon

NSFW
A miner walks into a saloon after striking it rich, walks over to the barkeep and says " I want your coldest beer, and the meanest, nastiest woman you've got in this place."

The bartender hands him a bottle of cold beer and sends him down the hall. As the miner opens the door he says "I'm looking for the meanest nastiest woman here." A woman replies "you found me" as she flips up her skirt and bends over.

"What makes you think I want to do it like that?" The miner asks.

She says "I don't, but you want to open your beer right?"

A police officer pulls a miner over

Cop: Whose car is this?
Where are you going?
What do you do for a living?

Miner: Mine.

Why did the gold go to jail?

It made contact with a miner.

Two miners walk out of the mine after a long day, one holding a shovel, the other a stick. One turns to the other and asks, Wears your shovel?

And the other responded, Sure does.

I introduced a miner to some heavy metal.

The Miner really digs the music.

The news report was that an elevator for the coal shaft broke down, trapping 27 workers

But it was just a miner inconvenience

How many crypto miners does it take to change a light bulb?

A hundred thousand!

One miner to change it, and 99,999 to determine who gets the credit.

You know what ruins a meme?

A miner spelling error.

Ever hear about the miner who wouldn't shut up?

He dug himself into a hole he couldn't get out of.

A Blind Man walks into an all women's bar

He sits down and orders a shot. After the shot he asks, "Does anybody want to hear a blonde joke?"
The lady next to him leans over. She says, "Hey buddy, so I'm gonna tell you this because it seems like you don't know any better. I'm a blonde coal miner, that woman over at the bar is a blonde professional boxer, the bartender is a blonde cage fighter, that woman at the pool table is a blonde steel mill worker, and shes a blonde bouncer. So buddy, are you sure you still want to tell that blonde joke?"
To which the blind man responds, "Well no, not if I've got to explain it five times."

My father was a commercial miner his whole life, but he only mined silver and gold. On his deathbed, I asked him what his favorite metal to mine was... he said

Either ore.

Three women were sitting around throwing back a few drinks and talking about their love lives.

Tracy said, "I call my husband the dentist. Nobody can drill like he does." Cathy giggled and confessed, "I call my husband the miner because of his incredible shaft." Dawn quietly sipped her whiskey until Tracy asked, "Say, what do you call your husband?" Dawn frowned and said, "The postman." "Why the postman?" asked Cathy. "Because he always delivers late, and half the time it's in the wrong box."

What do you get when you trow a piano down a mineshaft

A flat miner

I dated a miner once

She was a gold digger.

TIL why coal production has drastically slowed down within the past 10 years

It is believed the labor involved in this risky job was causing miner pain.

What did the miner say when he struck gold?

Au, yeah!

A coal miner walks into a bar.

And the bartender says, We don't serve your kind here.
The coal miner snorts, You mean you don't serve 'minors'? Never heard that one before.
No, I mean we don't serve black people. '

I retired from my job as a miner the other day.

I'm not a hole man any more.

What did the gold miner shout to the thief as he ran away...

Au you got my gold.

A man filled his a mine cart with fresh ore and pushed it out of the cave

After a long day of work, he decided to play some sports with his friends. There was an accident, which caused the man to die.

This shows that miner errors can have huge consequences.

What do you get when you throw a piano down a hole in the ground?

A flat miner

Did you hear that Snow White got arrested?

She was charged with unlawful sexual conduct with a miner.

Miners to sue a harmless tree-hugger. If you ask me, those miners are just making...

A molehill out of the mountain.

What do you call a redneck miner?

A hickaxe

Why was Steve from Minecraft arrested

He had sex with a miner

Which miner gets a lunch break first?

The one with a lot of apatite.

Why couldn't the coal worker get into the movie?

He was a miner.

What did miner say about the dirt?

"I dig it"

What are the funniest miner jokes of all time?

Did you ever wanted to stand out with a good sense of humour joking about Miner? Well, here are the best Miner puns to laugh out loud. Crazy and funny Miner pick up lines to share with friends.

Joko Jokes