Or just mine ?
Mine is more important and I don't care if she has one.
It's to never spend diamonds on a hoe.
Cause I wanna make you mine.
"Sir, we are mining too many useless Ores"
[Hitler rubs his chin, contemplating]
"So mine less"
[Grammar Nazi chimes in, from above]
"MINE FEWER"
[Hitler looks up]
"Yes?"
COP: Whose car is this? Where are you headed? What do you do?
Miner: mine
'They're so wasted they'll never know the difference'
After when they're walking home the first guy says 'I think mine was dead; She never moved or made a sound the whole time'
The second says 'I think Mine was a witch'
First: 'really whys that?'
Second: ''cause when i bit her ass she farted in my face and then flew out the window'
Everybody came.
You should have seen her face.
The doctor tells them theres been a mix up and doesn't know who's baby is who's. The English man runs in and grabs the only brown baby and starts to walk out. The Indian man looks relly confused and says "I'm pretty sure that's not your baby it looks Indian so it's mine". The English man says "I know, but there's not a chance in hell I'm leaving here with a baby that could be Welsh."
He started counting but fell asleep.
"Over there by mine", was not the answer I was expecting.
The man says, "I swear, it's not mine! I found it here and tried to flush it down the toilet, but every time I flush the drugs down it magically reappears in my hand!"
"I don't believe you," says the cop. "Show me."
The man tosses the bag of drugs into the toilet, then flushes it. The bag swishes down. The cop then stares at the man's empty hand as the bag is flushed down.
"Well," says the cop, "where are the drugs now?"
"What drugs?"
I'm proud of mine but disgusted by yours
When I got mine right after I was born, I couldn't walk for nearly a year
Iļø said, No, in fact, Iļø like your mother in law a lot better than Iļø like mine
Hitler: "Mine less then."
*grammar nazi bursts in*
"Mine fewer"
*Hitler looks over* "Yes?"
The madam tell her girls ' Just give those guys blow-up dolls. they're so wasted they'll never know the difference'
After when they're walking home the first man says 'I think mine was dead; She never moved or made a sound the whole time'
The second says 'I think Mine was a witch'
First: 'really whys that?'
Second: ''cause when i bit her ass she farted in my face and then flew out the window'
Professor: Anyone want to guess the Earth's magnetic field strength? Use any units you'd like.
Student: *raises hand*
Professor: Yes?
Student: 1 Earth
His words, not mine.
"Sir, we are mining too many useless ores"
[Hitler rubs chin]
"So mine less"
[Grammar Nazi bursts through the door]
"MINE FEWER!"
[Hitler looks up]
"Yes?"
I replied, "No, I don't hate your relatives. In fact, I like your mother-in-law a lot better than I like mine."
"Sir, we are mining too many useless cores"
[Hitler rubs chin]
"So, mine less.
[Grammar Nazi bursts through the door]
"MINE FEWER!"
[Hitler looks up]
"Yes, soldier?"
I said, "no, it doesn't".
*Credit to Jimmy Carr.*
**
She must have misunderstood because now we have twin daughters from the mailman
Their words not mine
Upon entering my house, I was relieved to see that mine was at home polishing my shoes.
Ironically, his quick reaction killed him.
So a couple of friends of mine, one black, one white were at a protest and wondered which carbonated drink makes the police the most peaceful. Turns out it really is Pepsi. You see, my white friend went up to the front of the protest and shouted to the cops "Anybody wanna buy some Pepsi?!" and the cops were all chill and happy, some even bought a can or two. But then my black friend went up to the front and shouted "Anybody wanna buy some coke?!"
I don't really care though, it wasn't mine.
The man says, "I swear, it's not mine! I found it here and tried to flush it down the toilet, but every time I flush the drugs down it magically reappears in my hand!"
"I don't believe you," says the cop. "Show me."
The man tosses the bag of drugs into the toilet, then flushes it. The bag swishes down. The cop then stares at the man's empty hand as the bag is flushed down.
"Well," says the cop, "where are the drugs now?"
"What drugs?"
She gets worried and asks her mom about that hair. Her mom calmly says, "That part where the hair has grown is called your monkey. Be proud that your monkey has grown hair." The girl smiled. At dinner, she tells her sister, "My monkey has grown hair." Her sister smiles and says, "That's nothing; mine is already eating bananas."
Apparently he is now in a stable condition.
"Dad, I'm sixteen. I'll wear what I want!"
"Yeah, but son, your nuts are showing."
I saw a black guy running down the street with a TV and I thought "that's mine".
But then I realized mine is home, polishing my shoes.
Did you ever wanted to stand out with a good sense of humour joking with someone about Mine? Well, here are the best Mine dad jokes to laugh out loud. Crazy funny puns and Mine pick up lines to share with friends.