Mind Messing Jokes
10 mind messing jokes and hilarious mind messing puns to laugh out loud. Read jokes about mind messing that are clean and suitable for kids and friends.
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Mind Messing Funny Jokes to Tell Your Friends and Kids.
What is a good mind messing joke to make people laugh? Check out this list of funny stories that will for sure put a smile on everyones mouth.
Mess with someone's mind
Make your day more fun by going up
to a stranger and asking "Hey, how
have you been since the amnesia?"
I remember my boss once pointed to my desk which was a mess…
He said that a cluttered desk is a sign of a cluttered mind. He wasn't too happy when I pointed out that his desk was empty.
Eyelash surgery
Mess up an eyelash surgery and no one bats an eye.
Mess up a brain surgery and everybody loses their minds
I don't kill flies but I like to mess with their minds.
I hold them above globes. They freak out and yell, "Whoa! I'm way too high!"
-Bruce Baum
I happened to be in court when I noticed a wrinkled old lady with grey hair sat up high...
I asked her, "You mind if I ask how old you are?"
She shouted back, "Thirty, love!"
I thought she was just messing with me so I replied, "No, really, how old are you?"
She yelled at me, "Forty, love!"
I realised then I should get back to my tennis match.
I was so angry the doctor messed up my lobotomy.
I gave him a piece of my mind.
Two mexicans are walking in a desert....
and are extremely thirsty and hungry, and are out of food and water. As they continue on their journey to reach their homeland, Carlos says to Juan in broken english, "I don't think we es going to make it, Juan." Juan replies, "We must keep trying Carlos, we es got no choice."
As Carlos and Juan approach a big hill of sand in the desert, Carlos immediately smells bacon. "Juan!!! You smell that? Smells like.... Bacon!!!!" Carlos replies reluctantly, "How could you just, smell bacon out here? Make no sense Juan." Juan replies, "Es a bacon tree! I can tell!" Carlos replies, "No Juan, es a mirage!! Es messing with your mind!"
Juan would not listen. "Ok Carlos, your choice." Juan proceeded to climb the hill, while Carlos waited down at the bottom for him, knowing that this was way to good to be true.
As Juan disappeared from Carlos's view, Carlos heard many gunshots. Terrified and confused, he didn't know what to do. Slowly, he saw Juan climb, with gunshot wounds, over the edge of the hill. "Carlos, don't go up there!!"
"Es no bacon tree." "Es a.... Es a hambush."
It's your grave. Have fun with it!
Before I die, I'll have 3 graves made for me.
Suppose you're walking in the graveyard, then this is what you'll see -
1st stone - Hey what's up?
You feel awkward and move to the next one that says -
2nd stone - Remember me? I'm the same guy from the last grave. The next one is also mine!
You think that this is messed up but you move to the next grave which just blows your mind. It says
3rd stone - Now I have a question for you. WHICH ONE OF THESE HAS MY BODY ?
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
...therapist subliminally messes with clients mind
...on his door was this sign The**r**...**
A Guy/Gal walks into a bar with an Ostrich/Race-horse
A good-looking young man (or woman) and an ostrich (or racehorse) walk into a bar. The two sit down, order some nachos and wind up drinking a few beers by the end of the night. When it comes time to pay the tab, the (wo)man reaches into his/her pocket and dumps a slightly-crumpled mess of bills and change onto the bar.
"That should cover it." (s)he says. As the (wo)man walks away, the bartender counts it out and to her surprise, it's the exact total of the bill. Looking back up, she sees that the (wo)man has returned. (S)He once again reaches into his/her pocket and pulls out exactly 20% of the bill before tax.
"There ya go, sorry about that." (s)he says.
The bartender asks, "Mind if I ask you about the exact change and the ostrich(horse)?
"You see," (s)he says, "A long time ago, I was an archaeologist. While in arabia, I discovered a magical lamp with a genie inside who granted me 3 wishes. The first, obviously, was for eternal youth and fitness. Second, unlimited wealth- any time I buy something, I just reach into my pocket and pull out the exact amount of money. The third, well, the third wish was for a tall, youthful, long-legged(well-endowed) chick(stud) who would always stick by my side and share my interests."
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