Mind Control Jokes
29 mind control jokes and hilarious mind control puns to laugh out loud. Read jokes about mind control that are clean and suitable for kids and friends.
Funniest Mind Control Short Jokes
Short mind control jokes and puns are one of the best ways to have fun with word play in English. The mind control humour may include short mind reading jokes also.
- Have you guys seen this new air freshener that works on mind control? It makes scents when you think about it.
- The government is reported to have invented a mind-control air freshener. It makes scents if you think about it.
- Amazon just released an oil defuser that works like Alexa but 100% controlled with your mind!! It makes scents when you think about it..
- Patient: I become terrified every time I think of large animals. Doctor: We can control that with medication, but bear in mind--
Patient: AAAAAAUUUGGGHHH!!! - I am looking for investors for my new mind controlled air freshener. When you think about it, it makes scents.
- Rarely, hikers of the Appalachian trail report seeing psychic grizzlies take control of their friends, who start foraging and looking for honey... Bear in mind, that doesn't happen very often.
- At first I didn't understand how to use my mind-controlled air freshener But after thinking about it for a while, it finally made scents.
- I heard researchers developed a mind control perfume.... It makes a lot of scents when you think about it
- I found out yesterday that, despite what she told me, my girlfriend doesn't actually have mind-control powers. She just made me *think* she did.
- I overheard people talking about a young girl who could control things with her mind. I asked my friend if he believed it. He said he's seen stranger things.
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Mind Control One Liners
Which mind control one liners are funny enough to crack down and make fun with mind control? I can suggest the ones about mind game and mind blowing.
- I've discovered I have the power to control minds Just mine so far.
- I mind controlled a guy to get me something at an auction Now he does my bidding
- What was the last thing to go through Christa McCauliffes mind? The control panel.
- All of those who believe in mind control... ...Raise my hand
- You should blink now. Bet you just did.
~MIND CONTROL~
Mind Control Funny Jokes And Hilarious Puns.
What funny jokes about mind control you can tell and make people laugh? An example I can give is a clean mind thinking jokes that will for sure put a smile on everyones mouth and help you make mind control pranks.
A new product idea
A guy walks into a bar and orders a beer. "Have you decided what you want for Christmas?" the bartender asks. "Yeah, I think I really would like one of those mind-controlled air fresheners," the guy replies. "It just makes sense when you think about it."
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
That new program on netflix about subliminal persuasion and mind control is a load of boring s**....
Turned it off after just five seasons.
Using high powered gamma rays, creatures on Mars have established total mind control over Donald. And Hillary. And the liberal press. And the Alt-right.
Hey, all I know is what I read on Facebook.
(But it explains everything!)
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
If the right side of the brain controls the left side of the body, then lefties are the only ones in their right mind.
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
If the right side of the brain controls the left side of the body, then lefties are the only ones in their right mind.
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
A kid is playing video games in his room, minding his own business.
His mother walks in. "Tommy, I want you to meet my new boyfriend".
"I've got a 3 kill streak leave me alone" he cries, eagerly gripping his controller.
A minute or so later, her boyfriend walks in. "Hey champ, how you doing?"
Tommy ignores him.
"Don't like champ, huh? How about ComptonProud69?"
Tommys head snaps eagerely. "I haven't heard that name since I was ten..."
His eyes widened with stress, Tommy's face turning red. "It can't be" he exclaims.
"Roblox right? I told you I'd bang your mom"
I've always enjoyed the mind control jokes. Do you know any?
Here's a couple of my favorites:
Ask someone to:
Spell "roast."
Spell "coast."
Spell "most."
Then ask them: What do you put in a toaster?
(The answer, is "bread.")
Another: What does M-A-C-D-O-N-A-L-D spell? (MacDonald)
What does M-A-C-G-R-E-G-O-R spell? (MacGregor)
What does M-A-C-H-I-N-E-R-Y spell? (machinery, not Mac Hinery)
One more that always worked for me:
Point at a piece of paper and ask "what color is that?"
Answer: "white"
Spell "silk"
Now ask: "what do cows drink?"
They usually answer "milk!"
No, they drink water!
A guy walks into a bar with his pet alligator...
...and the bartender says, "Hey! Get that thing outta here!"
The guy says, "Wait, wait, he's totally harmless. I've had this alligator since he was a baby and I've trained him to be completely under my control."
Dubious, the bartender says, "I don't know if I believe you, and I think it will still scare my customers, so please just leave."
"Listen," the man says. "If I can prove it to you and everyone in here that this alligator is completely harmless, will you let me stay and have a drink?"
So the bartender agrees, albeit a bit apprehensively, not sure what the man has in mind. The man then commands the alligator to open its mouth and the beast does. The man then sticks his head inside the alligator's gaping maw, and the crowd gasps, but the alligator doesn't bite down. Finally, the man pounds his fist on the top of the alligator's head three times and still the animal's jaws remain open.
The man removes his head from the alligator's mouth and says, "See, he's completely harmless. In fact, I can do this trick with anyone! Who here wants to give this a try?"
A blonde stands up in the back of the bar and says, "Okay, I'll give it a shot, but please don't hit me on the head that hard."
Three men were drunk and they stopped a taxi.
The taxi driver figured that they were not in their minds so, he just switched on the engine and switched it off and told them: "we have arrived".
The first man gave him money.
The second one thanked the taxi driver.
The third one slapped him (the taxi driver).
The taxi driver was stunned because he was hoping that none of them had realized that the car didn't move an inch, but he faked surprise and asked the third man: "what was that for?".
The drunken man replied: "control your speed next time! you nearly killed us!!!"