Milli Jokes
64 milli jokes and hilarious milli puns to laugh out loud. Read jokes about milli that are clean and suitable for kids and friends.
Discover the funniest Milli Vanilli jokes! From puns about the duo's name and singing style to jokes about metre and centimetre versions, these jokes will make you laugh until you can't Milli Vanilli.
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Funniest Milli Short Jokes
Short milli jokes and puns are one of the best ways to have fun with word play in English. The milli humour may include short meter jokes also.
- I planted some daffodils on Aunt Millie's grave. She never liked them, but.... after a while they started to grow on her.
- I tried looking for cover versions of Milli Vanilli songs but it turned out that they weren't the original ones.
- What did Christopher Guest say to Millie Bobby Brown when he gave her a dollar? This 1 goes to Eleven.
- Know who should open a chain of convenience stores together? Jeri Ryan and Millie Bobby Brown
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Milli One Liners
Which milli one liners are funny enough to crack down and make fun with milli? I can suggest the ones about gram and neutrality.
- Aunt Millie's secret recipe has been stolen by Sara Lee's brother. Alleged Lee.
- The Milli Vanilli Tour has been cancelled... They blamed it on the rain
- Come on Drake, Hitting on Millie Bobby Brown? She's only Eleven.
- You guys want to hear a Milli Vanilli joke? You guys want to hear a Milli Vanilli joke?
Hilarious Milli Jokes to Make Your Friends Roar with Laughter
What funny jokes about milli you can tell and make people laugh? An example I can give is a clean hundred jokes that will for sure put a smile on everyones mouth and help you make milli pranks.
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
What has a million legs but can't walk?
j**...'s Kids.
One in a million!
A famous Statisticians never flew on a plane. After months of research and hard work, he had deduced that there was a 1 in a million chance of having a bomb on any given flight, and would not accept that probability.
One day, he went to a conference far from home. One of his colleagues, who knew of his fear of flying, asked him:
"Hey, how'd you get here? By train?"
"No, I flew.", replied the statistician.
"But what about the bomb?" said the colleague.
"Well, I concluded that the chance of having two bombs would be (1/1000000 x 1/1000000), which is a much better probability, which I can accept. So I brought my own bomb."
A Million Dollars
A man was taking it easy, lying on the grass and looking up at the clouds. He was identifying shapes when he decided to talk to GOD.
"GOD", he said, "How long is a million years?"
GOD answered, "In my frame of reference, it's about a minute."
The man asked, "GOD, how much is a million dollars?"
GOD answered, "To Me, it's a dime."
The man then asked, "GOD, can I have a dime?"
GOD said, "In a minute."
If I had a million dollars for every time I lost money...
I'd have $43.
A millionaire,a hard hat, and a cheapskate are at a bar.
When they get their beers, they notice a fly in each mug.
The millionaire politely asks the bartender for another beer, then sips the new one.
The hard hat spills out just enough to get rid of the fly then quaffs the rest.
It's now the cheapskate's turn: He sticks his hand in the beer, grabs the fly, and shouts, "SPIT IT OUT! SPIT IT OUT!"
How do you get a million dollars with a girlfriend
You start with 4 million
A millionaire is looking for a housekeeper.
Three people showed up for the job. He wants to make sure they have good personal hygiene during work, so he put a camera in his big restroom monitoring the sink and see if they wash their hands after going to the restroom.
The first one finishes, doesn't wash his hands and walked out, the millionaire fires him.
The second one finishes, also doesn't wash his hands, he is fired as well.
The last guy, however, washed his hands before coming out. The owner is delighted, he asked him: " The previous two didn't washed their hands after going to the restroom, why did you wash them?"
The guy replies: "Because the toilet paper ran out".
"You look like a million bucks",
said bill gates disappointedly to his wife.
Why does it take more than a million sperms to fertilize one egg?
1) Female Ego...
Rejection without Reason!
2) Male Ego...
Won't Ask For Directions!
How do you become a millionaire overnight?
Start off a billionaire then make a bunch of bad investments.
Milliband, Clegg and Farage have quit.
Proof that the Conservatives are forcing people out of work.
How do you become a millionarie in the wine industry?
Start off as a billionaire.
79 million people are without access to drinkable water
Though on the bright side, the number is decreasing!
How to get a millionaire husband
marry a billionaire man, then proceed to divorce him.
35 million Canadians line up at the boarder of the US...
Demanding access to Mexico.
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This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
There are 4 million battered women in the US.
But I like mine plain.
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This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
Why does it take 1 million s**... to fertilize one egg?
They won't stop to ask for directions.
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This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
Why did the milliner quit his job at the donkey farm?
He got tired of all the a**...-hats.
That €8.5 million penalty Lionel has to pay...
Sure cleaned up that messy business.
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This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
They say there are about 12 million i**... immigrants in this country...
...but if you ask a native American, that number is more like 300 million.
A millipede turns to a centipede and says...
I'm not sure, but I think one of my legs is broken!
I've said this a million times
Self-quoting is wrong!
Let me tell you how I became a millionaire: First, I...
...bought one apple for a dollar with my savings. Then I went out on the street and sold it there for two dollars. With the two dollars I bought two apples for 1$ each and again sold them for 2 dollars each. Now I've had 4 dollars and was able to buy 4 apples, which, you may have guessed, I sold for 2 dollars each. Now I've had 8 dollars and I bought 8 apples and so on and so on...
A few days later my aunt died and I inherited her assets.
How do you become a millionaire with horses?
You start as a billionaire.
I'm almost a millionaire!
I have all the zeros, just looking for the one.
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This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
If I had a million dollars...
I would screw a girl, and put the million dollars in my bank account.
I wouldn't believe this is a sub with 10 million subscribers...
Like...I browse this the next day and its the same 10 posts on the front page.
I'm a millionaire- how come girls still don't want me?
Living in Zimbabwe with me isn't that bad...
$1 millions in Heaven
Joe asked God, "How much is a penny worth in heaven?"
God replied, "$1 million."
Joe asked, "How long is a minute in heaven?"
God said, "One million years."
Joe asked for a penny.
God said, "Sure, in a minute."
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
If I had a million dollars, I'd probably pay your mom to have s**... with me...
Then I'd invest the other 999,990 dollars.
(Bonus points if you know where this is from.)
How to get 1 million dollars:
Start with 6 million and get married
A millihelen.
A face that could launch one ship...
What did the 65 million year old detective say to his sidekick?
It's sedimentary my dear fossil
A million or more lab rats die each year and my fiance screams at me for running over a mouse.
That's the last time we're going to Disney.
Who wants to be a millionaire presenter Chris Tarrant found guilty of drink driving.
Every time he needs to get somewhere now he has to phone a friend.
Him: "Well, at least I know you wouldn't in a million years purposely destroy my clothes with bleach." Me: "Yeah, because I'm not crazy."
Him: "No, because it's too much like doing laundry."
Millions of people tuned in attentively to the world's best music last night.
And everyone at the Grammy's were able to too after the ceremony was over.
$2.1 million worth of textbooks were stolen the other day
All eight books were recovered.
How much does a million kilos of evangelism weigh?
A Billigraham
Millions of years ago there was a dinosaur empowerment movement called "dino-might."
It blew up over night.
How do you become a millionaire by working for an MLM?
Start off as a billionaire
I have a million dollar idea for a new product: dehydrated water
One step and it's ready:
Just add water!
It has been said that a million monkeys hitting keys at random on a typewriter keyboard for an infinite amount of time will almost surely type complete works of William Shakespeare.....
With the advent of internet, now we know that is not true!
How do you get 11 million followers?
Walk with a bottle of water in Africa.
I'd be a millionaire..
if I wasn't so badly paid.
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
What's 66 million strong and has no p**... hair?
PewDiePie fanbase.
If you had a million dollars, between donating them to charity and buying a new car,
What color would your Ferrari be?
The first million is the hardest
Adolf H.
Millions of years of evolution have resulted in me being the ultimate master of sarcasm.
lol
Why are millionaires sticky?
Because they're rolling in dough.
Q: If you had a million dollars and gave away one quarter, and another quarter, and then another quarter, how much would you have left?
A: A million dollars minus 75 cents.
How To Become a Millionaire:
Be a billionaire and invest in an airline company.
Did you know over 1 million wash basins are confiscated at the border every year for no reason?
Let that sink in...
An old millionaire is asked how he gained his wealth...
He says: "When I was a young man in the middle of the Great Depression, all I had was five cents. With that five cents, I bought an apple, shined and scrubbed it all day, and at the end of the day, I sold it for ten cents. With the ten cents, I bought two apples, scrubbed and shined them all day, and at the end of the day, I sold them for twenty cents. This went on for a week. Then my uncle died and left me twenty million dollars."
How to become a millionaire:
Step One: Be a billionaire
Step Two: Short sell $GME
Around 50 million years ago, whales lived on land. Until some of them decided to go back to the sea.
The rest of them stayed on land and became yo mumma
Do you want to know how to become a millionaire?
Invest $1 billion and follow the advice of wallstreetbets
How do you get a million dollars in crypto investing?
Start with ten million.
