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Miller Jokes

59 miller jokes and hilarious miller puns to laugh out loud. Read jokes about miller that are clean and suitable for kids and friends.

Check out this hilarious collection of Miller jokes, perfect for any fan of Miller Lite, Miller High Life, and Miller Light. From the clever barbs of Nick Miller to the sharp quips of Abby Lee Miller to the absurd outbursts of Collins and Schneider and Gillette. Enjoy a few laughs with this amazing selection of jokes.

Funniest Miller Short Jokes

Short miller jokes and puns are one of the best ways to have fun with word play in English. The miller humour may include short brewer jokes also.

  1. Sergeant Miller! Yes sir?
    I didn't see you at the camouflage training yesterday!
    Thank you sir!
  2. If there's one thing we can learn from Mac Miller... It's how to get out of attending your ex's wedding
  3. Why is it bad that Peyton Manning shilled for Budweiser? Because he clearly owed the win to Miller.
  4. Did you hear Stephen Miller's wife tested positive for COVID? It turns out swallowing vampire is as dangerous as eating bat.
  5. I know there are about to be a lot of jokes about Mac Miller but please, keep the quantity down I'd hate to overdose on them
  6. Mac Miller recently passed away. All of his homies are wearing their pants at half mast in his honor
  7. TJ Miller should change his name... ...to TJ Maxx: A disorganized mess of stuff that can now be had at a severe discount to it's previous value.
  8. My buddy asked if I wanted a beer... And I was like, "Sure what do ya got?"
    And he said, "Coors Lite, Miller Lite, and Mike's Hard"
    I said, "Good for Mike. I'll take a Coors."
  9. Trump: "The less immigrants we allow, the better!" Miller: "The fewer..."
    Trump: "Stephen! I told you never to call me that in public!"
  10. In the beginning... Miller Brewing said, "Let there be Lite."
    The Fat Broad said, "Less filling, but I'm not sure it tastes great."

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Miller One Liners

Which miller one liners are funny enough to crack down and make fun with miller? I can suggest the ones about windmill and miles.

  1. Congrats Mac Miller! 1 week sober!
  2. What is a pothead's favorite beer? Miller High Life
  3. T.J. Miller and I have so much in common! We're both not going to be in Deadpool 3
  4. What does Ariana Grande... What does Ariana Grande order at McDonald's ?
    A Mac Miller.
  5. Eminem's verse on Not Alike is so hard that Mac Miller killed himself.
  6. Mac miller died on Friday. He was gone by the weekend
  7. Ariana Grande said "God is a woman"... Mac Miller went to go prove her wrong
  8. Mac Miller Heard Mac Miller's fall line is supposed to be killer.
  9. Mac Miller just died There's an OD on 5th Ave.
  10. Ariana Grande & Mac Miller split up. I hope it wasn't because Mac was on that Khaled diet
  11. How do you call Nikola Tesla's wife? Mina Miller
  12. New Miller Lite flavor Miller Lite Me on Fire I Want to Die
  13. Why couldn't Miss Miller find the bug in her class? She couldn't see sharp.
  14. Where would you find Percy Miller's toothbrush? In his Master P room.
  15. It's not on a map, or some app. MILLER LIGHT

Mac Miller Jokes

Here is a list of funny mac miller jokes and even better mac miller puns that will make you laugh with friends.

  • Still Not Sure Why People Consider Mac Miller and XXXTentacion Mainstream? I mean they are some of the only true underground rappers.
  • What's the deal with white rappers suddenly getting all this attention? Just look at Mac Miller
Miller joke, What's the deal with white rappers suddenly getting all this attention?

The Funniest Miller Jokes for a Bone-Shaking Laugh

What funny jokes about miller you can tell and make people laugh? An example I can give is a clean turner jokes that will for sure put a smile on everyones mouth and help you make miller pranks.

Four CEOs of beer companies are having a meeting and they decide to get a drink.

The CEO of Budweiser orders a Bud light.
The CEO of Miller orders a Miller Lite.
The CEO of Coors orders a Coors Light.
The CEO of Guinness orders a Coke.
The three CEOS then ask him, why aren't you ordering a Guinness?
He replies: "If you guys aren't drinking beer than neither will I."

3 Women In A Bar

A redhead asks the bartender for a ML:
Bartender - "what's a ML?"
redhead - " Miller Lite - DUH!"
The Brunette asks for a BL:
Bartender - "what's a BL?"
brunette - "Bud Lite - DUH!"
The Blonde asks for a "15"
Bartender - "what's a "15"?"
Blond - " Seven and seven - DUH!"

A husband and wife are shopping in their local Wal-Mart. The husband picks up a ...case of Miller Lite and puts it in their cart...

...'What do you think you're doing?' asks the wife. 'They're on sale, only $10 for 24 cans', he replies. 'Put them back, it's a waste of money', demands the wife, and so he does and they carry on shopping.
A few aisles further on along, the woman picks up a $20 jar of ...face cream and puts it in the basket.
What do you think you're doing?' asks the husband... "It's my face cream. It makes me look beautiful,' replies the wife.
The husband says, 'So does 24 cans of Miller Lite and it's half the price....'

5.5 Quake Shakes L.A.

Every 20 years or so, a large earthquake rattles Los Angeles as a result of the tremendous buildup of pressure in every Angeleno to talk about something other than show business.
~ Scott Miller

My first drink with my son

I was reading an article last night about fathers and sons, and memories came flooding back of the time I took my son out for his first drink.
Off we went to our local bar, which is only two blocks from the house.
I got him a Miller Genuine. He didn't like it – so I drank it.
Then I got him a Fosters, he didn't like it either, so I drank it.
It was the same with the Coors and the Bud.
By the time we got down to the Irish whiskey,
I could hardly push the stroller back home.

If 50 cent is broke and struggling for somewhere to live

He should ask Roger Miller as he has rooms to let 50 cent

A military plane crashes on a cannibal island

The soldiers are captured, and the chief asks them "Right, which one of you is the commander?"
"That's me, Commander Joe Miller."
"Well, congratulations, Joe, by tomorrow you'll be Commander-in-Chief!"

Arthur Guinness

The leaders of the big beer companies meet for a drink. The president of Budweiser orders a bud, the Ceo of Miller gets a Miller, the head of coors orders a coors, and so on. Until it's Arthur Guinness's turn, he orders a soda. "Why didn't you order a Guinness?" everyone asks. "Nah" Guinness replies. If you guys aren't having a beer,then neither will I.

The CEO of Budweiser, Miller and Carlsberg walks into a bar.

The CEO of Budweiser walks up to the bar and orders a Budweiser, after which the CEO of Miller orders a Miller. Then the CEO of Carlsberg says to the bartender: "I'll have a glass of water." The others looks baffled and asks him: "Why didn't you order a Carlsberg?". He replies: "Well, since you're not having beer..."

What's the difference between Chuck Schumer and Tom Brady

Tom Brady is a Patriot and a winner.
(Thank you Dennis Miller)

Jack and Jill...

Jack and Jill worked at the mill before the work did slack off.
The miller cried, "I can't decide whether to lay Jill or j**...."

Stay neglectful my friends

I adopted 3 kids recently and named them after my favorite beers; Bud Light, Miller Light, and Dos Equis. I work long days and am occasionally allowed to bring one child with me to the office. When faced with the decision of which child to take with me to work I always pick Dos Equis, because I don't always watch my kids but when I do I prefer Dos Equis.

Why were Star Wars fans upset with the new scenes filmed by Ron Howard?

Because Lord and Miller shot first.

A bunch of beer company CEOs are at a conference and they decide to go get a drink...

The CEO of Budweiser orders a Bud Light, the CEO of Miller orders a Miller Light, the CEO of Coors orders a Coors Light, and the list goes on. The bartender makes his way to the CEO of Guiness and he orders a Coke.
His colleagues ask, "why don't you order a Guiness?"
And the Guiness CEO replies, "If you guys aren't going to drink beer, then neither will I."

4 famous beer owners walk into a bar.

The CEO for Budweiser orders a Bud Light. The CEO for Miller orders a Miller Light. The CEO for Coors orders a Coors Light. The CEO for Guinness orders a Coke. They all ask him why he didn't order a Guinness to which he replies, "Well, I figured if you guys aren't drinking beer then neither am I."

A joke from a friend.

4 beer company owners walk into a bar. The owners of Bud, Miller, Coors, and Guiness.
The bartender asks for what they want.
The owner of Bud replies with Bud Light.
The owner of Coors replies with Coors light.
The owner of Miller replies with Miller light.
The owner of Guiness replies with water.
All the other owners stare at him and he says if you aren't drinking real beers neither am I.

The CEOS of Budweiser, Miller, Heineken and Guinness sit down for a meal...

The waitress comes by for a drink order, and each orders their own.
Budweiser CEO: I'll have a Bud
Miller: MGD for me
Heineken: I'll have a Heineken
Guinness: Iced tea
Everyone stares.
Guinness replies: what? If you aren't drinking beer, neither am I!

T.J. Miller has brought his comedy to a whole new level

At least when it comes to b**...

From the death notice of a local newspaper: After a very hard and painfull life, Mr. Miller finally found his peace...

The f**... of his wife Mathilda will take place on the 26th of December.

4 beer company CEOs walk into a bar

The CEO of Budweiser orders a Bud Light.
The CEO of Miller orders a Miller Light.
The CEO of Coors orders a Coors Light.
The CEO of Guinness orders a Coke.
The first three ask the CEO of Guinness why he didn't order a Guinness, to which he replied:
"I figured if you 3 weren't ordering beer it would be rude for me to."

A bus full of journalists is on its way to Mar-a-Lago.

The bus veers off the road and overturns. Emergency vehicles rush to the scene, only to find Trump with a shovel in his hand, and Stephen Miller on a bulldozer.
A paramedic asks " What happened to all the passengers ? "
Trump says " They were all dead, so we buried them ! "
Stunned, the paramedic says " Do you mean everybody died ? "
Trump replies " Some of them claimed they weren't dead, but you know how the press lies ! "

A woman goes to the store

She buys a cucumber, Greek yogurt, a gallon of milk, 2L Fanta, a loaf of bread, 6 pack of miller lites, can of olives and raisins. She then walks up to the counter places the items in front of the cash register. The cashier looks at the items, looks at her and then back at the items and says "I know you're single". The woman is surprised and laughs "That's crazy! How can you tell just based on my items?!". The cashier replies, "its cause you're ugly"

Joined to a trend of translating jokes from native language

The commander showing a new tank to the soldiers.
"Here, comrade warriors, this is our new secret tank. Sergeant Jones!"
"Yes, sir!"
"Lift up the tank."
Jones trying to lift the tank, pushing, panting, but can't do it.
"Smith, go help Jones!"
They are trying together, same business.
"Can't lift it, sir!"
"Private Miller, help them."
They puffing together, no result.
"There is no way to lift up this thing, sir!"
"Well, what did you expect? It's 46 tons!"

Two Amish women...

Mrs. Miller and Mrs. Yoder are in the garden digging potatoes. Mrs Miller holds a large potato in each hand and says These remind me of my husband Kaleb's t**... .
Mrs Yoder says Oh goodness...they are that big???
Mrs. Miller says No..,they're that dirty.

If Donald Trump, Rudy Giuliani, Bill Barr, Stephen Miller, and Jared Kushner we're on Air Force One together and the plane were to suddenly c**..., who would survive?

The United States of America.

A woman bursts out of the examining room, screaming after her doctor tells her she is pregnant

The director of the clinic stops her and asks what the problem is. She tells him what happened and another doctor has her sit down and relax in another room while he marches down the hallway to where the woman's doctor had informed her of the pregnancy.
What is wrong with you? Mrs. Miller is 60 years old, has six grown children and nine grandchildren - and you tell her she's pregnant?
The doctor continues to write his notes and without looking up at his colleague says, tell me, does she still have the hiccups?

Four beer execs

Four leaders of the big beer companies meet for a drink. The president of Budweiser orders a Bud. Miller's president orders a Miller and the president of Coors orders a Coors. When it is Guinness turn to order he orders a soda.
Why didn't you order a Guinness everyone asks? Nah Guinness replies. If you guys aren't having a beer neither will I

Miller joke, What is a pothead's favorite beer?

jokes about miller