Mill Jokes
135 mill jokes and hilarious mill puns to laugh out loud. Read jokes about mill that are clean and suitable for kids and friends.
A collection of hilarious mill jokes to make you ROFL! Discover jokes and puns relating to a variety of mills, such as steel mills, lumber mills and cider mills. Plus, find humorous references to flour mills, pepper mills and even grinders, quarries and cutters. Get ready to laugh out loud!
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Funniest Mill Short Jokes
Short mill jokes and puns are one of the best ways to have fun with word play in English. The mill humour may include short mile jokes also.
- Bill Gates has now donated enough money to charity that he lost his billionaire status. He now goes by Mill Gates.
- What do you call a Japanese man in America with $8932 and 40 cents? A Mill*yen*aire.
...Yeah I know I'm a shitbird. - All the screaming kids at work today, really made me miss the good old days. Back when they would work a 9-5 down at the local iron mill.
- One day a man working at a lumber mill had his finger cut off. When he got home after work and told his wife she asked, "The whole finger?" He replied, "No, the one next to it."
- Building grain processing facilities is a lucrative business I'm hoping to make a mill by the end of the year.
- Which rapper would you rather bring back from the dead? - Tupac
- Biggie Smalls
- Eazy E
- Meek Mills - My friend asked me why there were protests at the lumber mill the other day. I told him they were protesting the Christopher the lumberous statue.
- After an hour long fight, my wife burst into tears when I grabbed her fancy new underwear from the dresser and threw it in the coffee grinder. There's no use crying over milled silk.
- What's the one thing that an Ethiopian farmer and a run of the mill Ethiopian have in common? Both of them don't get any food.
- What was the investment broker doing sneaking around the cider mill? He was looking for in-cider information.
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Mill One Liners
Which mill one liners are funny enough to crack down and make fun with mill? I can suggest the ones about meter and mitt.
- Who is Cap'n Crunch's superior Officer? General Mills
- What do you call a mill thats just ok? A satisfactory.
- What's a good source of Vietnamese renewable energy? A Nguyen mill.
- Where does the lumber mill keep their records? In log books
- A buddy of mine quit his job at the paper mill, He said the conditions were tearable.
- Meek Mill's response
- What's every weightlifters favorite Civil War battlefield? Gaines Mill
- What did Detective Mills get for his birthday? Some head.
- You can't spell Meek Mill.. ..without two consecutive L's.
- DJ Khaled: "Meek Mill, wake up!" Meek Mill: "Why, what's going on?"... ANOTHER ONE
- Why wasn't meek mills phone working? Because it wasn't "charged up"
- What did the lumber mill say to the arriving wood? Saw dude?
- What's another word for slaughterhouse? Lumbar mill.
Lumber Mill Jokes
Here is a list of funny lumber mill jokes and even better lumber mill puns that will make you laugh with friends.
- A buddy was recently in an accident at the lumber mill, he lost his left entire left arm and leg at about mid thigh... He just got out of the hospital and is all right now.
Hilarious Mill Jokes to Make Your Friends Roar with Laughter
What funny jokes about mill you can tell and make people laugh? An example I can give is a clean smith jokes that will for sure put a smile on everyones mouth and help you make mill pranks.
What do the Millenials eat at the NASA cafeteria?
Asstronaut
Freddie Mercury was once out with a couple of friends.
They were having a good time, when he got up to leave. They asked him what was the matter.
He said he had some business to attend to at the local Bee Farm.
So they said
Bee's Mill, huh? We will not let you go!
What has a million legs but can't walk?
j**...'s Kids.
A Million Dollars
A man was taking it easy, lying on the grass and looking up at the clouds. He was identifying shapes when he decided to talk to GOD.
"GOD", he said, "How long is a million years?"
GOD answered, "In my frame of reference, it's about a minute."
The man asked, "GOD, how much is a million dollars?"
GOD answered, "To Me, it's a dime."
The man then asked, "GOD, can I have a dime?"
GOD said, "In a minute."
If I had a million dollars for every time I lost money...
I'd have $43.
A millionaire,a hard hat, and a cheapskate are at a bar.
When they get their beers, they notice a fly in each mug.
The millionaire politely asks the bartender for another beer, then sips the new one.
The hard hat spills out just enough to get rid of the fly then quaffs the rest.
It's now the cheapskate's turn: He sticks his hand in the beer, grabs the fly, and shouts, "SPIT IT OUT! SPIT IT OUT!"
How do you get a million dollars with a girlfriend
You start with 4 million
"You look like a million bucks",
said bill gates disappointedly to his wife.
Textile Mill Heist
Earlier today police apprehended a criminal who had loaded an industrial-sized loom and 10 cubic meters of wool onto a truck in an attempted robbery of a local textile factory.
Police became suspicious of the truck when they noticed the driver weaving all over the road.
How do you become a millionaire overnight?
Start off a billionaire then make a bunch of bad investments.
Milliband, Clegg and Farage have quit.
Proof that the Conservatives are forcing people out of work.
James Bond hits upon hard times and finds himself facing a job seeker interview...
James Bond hits upon hard times and finds himself facing a job seeker interview,
"Well Mr Bond we have two positions we can offer you, one is giving lectures to children on the benefits of a career in military intelligence, and the other is in the fabric staining department of a yarn mill. "
"Do you expect me to talk? "
"No, Mr Bond, I expect you to dye. "
Why does it take millions of s**... to fertilize one egg?
Because none of them will stop for directions
79 million people are without access to drinkable water
Though on the bright side, the number is decreasing!
How to get a millionaire husband
marry a billionaire man, then proceed to divorce him.
The Millenium Falcon is taking off...
Han Solo asks C3PO to give him a countdown, and C3PO says..
"10....8.....6.....4"
Han interrupts him and asks what the heck he's doing.
C3 says "You told me to never tell you the odds"
How many millennials does it take to change a light-bulb?
One, but he has to create a safe-space where the light-bulb can go to avoid being offended that it's being replaced.
How many Millennials does it take to change a light bulb?
None! We don't change light bulbs. We disrupt them.
A millennial walks into a bar
I only know this because he shared stats with everyone.
How many Millennials does it take...
to screw in a lightbulb?
None. Their parents will do it for them.
There are 4 million battered women in the US.
But I like mine plain.
Why does it take 1 million s**... to fertilize one egg?
They won't stop to ask for directions.
They say there are about 12 million i**... immigrants in this country...
...but if you ask a native American, that number is more like 300 million.
Millenials won't get this one
Their own home
how many millennials does it take to screw in a lightbulb?
Enough to protest until the government does it for them
millennial superstitions
If your phone drops in the toilet bowl, you will have seven years of frustrating eyebrows.
A millipede turns to a centipede and says...
I'm not sure, but I think one of my legs is broken!
Millions of children are being inspired by seeing their first presidential election.
If a misogynistic con artist and a lying criminal can run for president, then so can that kid eating dirt on the playground.
I've said this a million times
Self-quoting is wrong!
Let me tell you how I became a millionaire: First, I...
...bought one apple for a dollar with my savings. Then I went out on the street and sold it there for two dollars. With the two dollars I bought two apples for 1$ each and again sold them for 2 dollars each. Now I've had 4 dollars and was able to buy 4 apples, which, you may have guessed, I sold for 2 dollars each. Now I've had 8 dollars and I bought 8 apples and so on and so on...
A few days later my aunt died and I inherited her assets.
Millionaire Interview
Interviewer : Sir, who helped you on becoming a Millionaire?
Millionaire : My wife........ I was a billionaire before.
There should be a millennial edition of monopoly
where you just walk around the board paying rent, never able to buy anything.
4 million of these people enter our country every year. They are uneducated, unskilled, and contribute nothing. They are a burden to honest, hardworking Americans and our government is doing nothing to stop them, not to mention they're dirty and they smell bad. THEY DON'T EVEN SPEAK ENGLISH!!
I really hate babies.
I want to be a millionaire just like my dad!!
Wow, your dad's a millionaire?
No, but he always wanted to be.
How do you become a millionaire with horses?
You start as a billionaire.
I'm almost a millionaire!
I have all the zeros, just looking for the one.
What do millennial stoners play during recess?
Hash Tag.
Jack and Jill...
Jack and Jill worked at the mill before the work did slack off.
The miller cried, "I can't decide whether to lay Jill or j**...."
Why do millennials prefer odd numbers?
Because they can't even.
Why don't Millenial barbers ever get sideburns right?
They literally can't even.
$1 millions in Heaven
Joe asked God, "How much is a penny worth in heaven?"
God replied, "$1 million."
Joe asked, "How long is a minute in heaven?"
God said, "One million years."
Joe asked for a penny.
God said, "Sure, in a minute."
Millennials wont get this
vaccines
If I had a million dollars, I'd probably pay your mom to have s**... with me...
Then I'd invest the other 999,990 dollars.
(Bonus points if you know where this is from.)
How to get 1 million dollars:
Start with 6 million and get married
After millenia of lackluster inclusion of women, there will now be a female version of Hercules.
Ironically, her name will be Himcules
Millennials don't get this...
Low college tuition rates.
A millihelen.
A face that could launch one ship...
Millenials are Killing the Coat Hanger Industry
more than half of them support legal abortions.
85% of Millennials struggle with figuring out the opposite of these words.
Always
Coming
Take
Me
Down
A million or more lab rats die each year and my fiance screams at me for running over a mouse.
That's the last time we're going to Disney.
Why do millennials love Animal Crossing?
Because it allows them to fulfil the dream of buying a house.
I've said it a million times:
Don't exaggerate.
[OC] You millennials are always complaining that we ran up trillions of dollars of debt for you. Why can't you just pull yourselves up by your bootstraps?
After all, we pulled ourselves up by your bootstraps.
Him: "Well, at least I know you wouldn't in a million years purposely destroy my clothes with bleach." Me: "Yeah, because I'm not crazy."
Him: "No, because it's too much like doing laundry."
How are millenials and tightrope walkers alike?
Compromise their net and they will literally die.
Millions of people tuned in attentively to the world's best music last night.
And everyone at the Grammy's were able to too after the ceremony was over.
$2.1 million worth of textbooks were stolen the other day
All eight books were recovered.
How much does a million kilos of evangelism weigh?
A Billigraham
How many millennials does it take to screw in a lightbulb?
100
99 to earn a PhD in electrical engineering and interview for the job, and one to agree to do it for the "experience".
Why do millenials participate in odd social media challenges?
Because they literally can't even.
I don't know why millenials always complain about the job market after college
In the 15 years since I graduates I've held 5 entry level positions with every promotion.
Millions of years ago there was a dinosaur empowerment movement called "dino-might."
It blew up over night.
T.J. Miller has brought his comedy to a whole new level
At least when it comes to b**...
How do you become a millionaire by working for an MLM?
Start off as a billionaire
TJ Miller should change his name...
...to TJ Maxx: A disorganized mess of stuff that can now be had at a severe discount to it's previous value.
It has been said that a million monkeys hitting keys at random on a typewriter keyboard for an infinite amount of time will almost surely type complete works of William Shakespeare.....
With the advent of internet, now we know that is not true!
How do you get 11 million followers
Run thorugh africa holding a bottle of water
T.J. Miller and I have so much in common!
We're both not going to be in Deadpool 3
Who Wants To Be A Millionare
My Wife & I are watching Who Wants to be a Millionare while we were in bed last night. I turned to her and asked if she wanted to have s**.... She looked over at me and said "No." I asked if that was her final answer and once again the answer was "No." At that point is when I told her I'd like to phone a friend. And that's why I'm sleeping on the couch tonight.
You millennials and your obsession with public healthcare....
Back in my day we just died
How do you get 11 million followers?
Walk with a bottle of water in Africa.
How to have $1 Million worth of crypto Currencies
Start off with $2 Million
I'd be a millionaire..
if I wasn't so badly paid.
If a millennial asks you...
If a millennial asks you why people in old photos have red eyes
Tell them that they're too young to remember the d**... uprising of the 1980s
Millennials have such short attention spans
Says the generation that got bored of going to the moon by the third time
If a Millennial dies, they can be eulogized as such:
"They died doing what they loved. Dying."
