Milkman Jokes

What are some Milkman jokes?

Bill pulled up a stool at his favorite bar and announced...

My wife Suzie must love me more than any woman has ever loved any man!

What makes you say that? the bartender inquired.

Last week, Bill explained, I had to take a couple of sick days from work. Suzie was so thrilled to have me around that every time the milkman or mailman came by, she'd run down the driveway waving her arms and hollering, 'My husband's home! My husband's home!'

What do you call a gay milkman?

A dairy queen.

Teacher asked kids to tell her what they liked the most about her and she would tell them who they would be when they grew up.

Sally : I like your hair teacher!

Teacher: well, you're going to be a hair stylist!

George : I like your teeth teacher!

T : Well, you're going to be a dentist.

Then little Johhny jumps out of his seat and yells : I already know what i'm gonna be!

T : well, tell us.

Johhny : A milkman!

How does a milkman become a priest?

He gets pastorized.

Where did the milkman go when he died?

The creama-torium.

A woman goes into labor with her child.

The doctor says that they have invented a new device to transfer the pain of child birth to the father. He asks if it is ok to use the new device. The couple agrees and so he turns the pain to the father to 10%. The man feels nothing. They then bump it up to 20%. He still feels nothing. They keep doing this until they have the machine up to 100%. The man still felt nothing so they go home happy, until they find the milkman dead on the porch.

Why was the milkman afraid on Christmas eve?

The ghost of Christmas Pasteurisation.

I hear its great for your skin!

A woman is reading through a magazine. She comes across an article that says "if you take a bath in milk it gives you softer more supple skin." She decides it is a good idea so she leaves a note on her door for the milkman to leave her 25 gallons of milk. The milkman shows up and says "ma'am you sure its not 2.5 gallons?" She says "no 25 is right". The milkman said " may I asked what your going to do with 25 gallons of milk?" She replied " I am going to take a bath in it." The milkman then said " ok, do you want that pasteurize?". She said" no just get it up to my nipples I can splash it on my face from there."

What do you call a milkman wearing high heeled shoes...?

A Dairy Queen.

100 kisses

A miser wrote a letter to his wife saying that he can't send her money this month, so he sends hundred kisses instead.

She replied a month later saying: Thanks for the kisses, dear, because they helped me a lot. Here's how I spent them: 2 kisses for the milkman, 7 for the grocer, the landlord comes everyday and takes a kiss or two, the butcher and the greengrocer weren't satisfied by the kisses and so I gave them other material, and gave the doorman and the plumber about 40 kisses. I still have 35, and I hope it will last me for the month. I will follow this way for the next months, because it solved many problems for me.

Regards, your loving wife .

I walked in on my wife and the milkman

the first thing she says is "don't tell the butcher"!

What do you call a milkman in high heels?

Dairy Queen

The teacher tells the students:

You have to tell me what part of my body do you like the most, and I will tell you what will you be when you grow up. Let's see, Paul, which part of my body do you like the most?

I love your long hair, teacher.

Nice, Paul! You will be a hairdresser when you grow up. And you, Peter, what is your favourite part?

My favourite part of you are your teeth, teacher.

You will be a dentist, Peter, when you grow up. William, it's your turn.

I really like your blue eyes, teacher.

You will be a very good oculist when you grow up, William. And you, Johnny, which part of my body do you like the most?

I think I don't need to say it. I just found out I want to be a milkman when older!

A milkman gets an order for 45 pints of milk.

Puzzled, he decides to ask the customer if this is a mistake.
she confirms saying "Milk baths are good for your skin," explains the woman.

"Oh, OK," replies the milkman. "Do you need it pasteurized then?"

"No," says the woman. "Up to my neck will be fine."

The Beauty Treatment

A blonde heard that bathing in milk would make her beautiful. She left a note for her milkman to leave 25 gallons of milk. When the milkman read the note, he felt there must be a mistake.

He thought she probably meant 2.5 gallons. So he knocked on the door to clarify the point.
The blonde came to the door and the milkman said, "I found your note asking me to leave 25 gallons of milk. Did you mean 2.5 gallons?"

The blonde said, "No, I want 25 gallons. I'm going to fill my bathtub up with milk and take a milk bath so I can look young and beautiful again."

The milkman asked, "Do you want it pasteurized?"

The blonde said, "No, just up to my neck. I can splash it on my eyes.

Me and my friend look terribly alike

Whenever someone ask if we're brother's, I say...

"No we're not, but my dad is a milkman"

Who wrote the book The Russian Milkman?

Ipul Titsky

"Look out, it's the Spoiler! He's gonna ruin every joke on the sub!"

"The milkman was the real father!"

What do you call a black milkman joke

Well, this should be chocolate milkman

Why did the French milkman have to hurry?

He was running lait

How to make Milkman jokes?

We have collected gags and puns about Milkman to have fun with. Do you want to stand out in a crowd with a good sense of humour joking about Milkman? If Yes here are a lot more hilarious lines and funny Milkman pick up lines to share with friends.

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