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Milked Jokes

36 milked jokes and hilarious milked puns to laugh out loud. Read jokes about milked that are clean and suitable for kids and friends.

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Funniest Milked Short Jokes

Short milked jokes and puns are one of the best ways to have fun with word play in English. The milked humour may include short milking jokes also.

  1. Astronaut 1: "I can't find any milk for my coffee" Astronaut 2: "In space no-one can. Here, use cream"
  2. Wife was breastfeeding Her: the baby sure is taking his time getting his meal in
    Me: yeah he is really milking it
  3. How to determine the gender of your cat ? pour some milk in a bowl and place it next to the cat, if she drinks it, your cat is a female, but if he drinks it, the cat is a male
  4. My girlfriend left me because of my abandonment issues... Oh wait. She's back. She just went to get some milk.
  5. What's the difference between america and a bottle of milk? In 200 years the milk will have developed a culture
  6. Wife: "Can you pick up milk?" Me: *lifts gallon*
    "Yeah, it's easy."
    Wife: "I mean from the store."
    Me: "I'd imagine it weigh the same there too"
  7. Did you know milk is the fastest liquid in the universe? Before you see it, it's already pasteurized
  8. why elon musk is A true Edison of our time ? Because He found a way to milk Nicolai after he has been long in the grave, too
  9. What's the difference between Jesus' crucifixion and a cow? You cant milk a cow for 2000 years.
  10. A programmer went to a store to pick up some groceries As he was leaving the house his wife said: "While you are there, buy some milk". He never came back.

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Milked One Liners

Which milked one liners are funny enough to crack down and make fun with milked? I can suggest the ones about milking cow and spilled milk.

  1. How do you milk sheep? Bring out a new iPhone and charge $1000 for it.
  2. What's the fastest liquid on Earth? Milk. It's pasteurized before you see it.
  3. What's the difference between 9/11 and a cow? Can't milk a cow for 21 years.
  4. Dad joke..... Dad: what are you drinking, son?
    Son: Soy Milk
    Dad: Hola Milk, soy padre
  5. Women have eggs and milk in them... And they say that they don't belong in the kitchen.
  6. Why does a milking stool only have three legs? Because the cow has the udder.
  7. How can you milk a sheep? Release a new iPhone.
  8. Father: Hey son what are you drinking? Son: Soy-milk
    Father: Hola milk, soy tu padre
  9. My brother just threw a milk carton at me How dairy.
  10. What do you call a cow that gives no milk? An udder failure.
  11. How do you milk a sheep? Sell headphone for $549.
  12. How do you milk sheep? Release new iPhone with less accessories
  13. What do you call a cow with a stutter that makes chocolate milk? Cacao
  14. What do you call a cow with Parkinson's? A milk shake
  15. What sound does a cow make when it runs out of milk? None. There is udder silence.

Cow Milked Jokes

Here is a list of funny cow milked jokes and even better cow milked puns that will make you laugh with friends.

  • American man to wife: "pass the honey... Honey" Welsh man to wife: "pass the sugar... Sugar"
    Scottish man to wife: "pass the milk... ya cow"
  • What's the difference between a cow and the Trump-Russia controversy? You can't milk a cow 24/7 for six months straight.
  • When I was a kid, I loved milk so much that I said I was going to marry a cow Took me a good few years to realise why my father used to tell me, You probably will...
  • What's the difference between a guy dying on a cross and a cow? You can't milk a cow for 2000 years.
  • I'm just milking it now. Studies show cows produce more Milk when the Farmer talks to them.
    It's a case of in one ear and out the udder.
  • My friend got fired from his cow milking job because of his erratic behavior. He was considered to be a danger to himself and udders.
  • What's the difference between a cow and 9/11? ...you can't milk a cow for a decade straight.
  • What do you call a cow that can't produce milk? An udder failure.
  • Cows are amazing Studies show that cows produce more milk when the farmers talk to them.
    It's a case of in one ear and out the udder.
  • What do you call a cow that can't moo? A milk dud
    Credit to my 5 year old nephew
Milked joke, What do you call a cow that can't moo?

Cheerful Milked Jokes for Unforgettable Laughter with Friends!

What funny jokes about milked you can tell and make people laugh? An example I can give is a clean milkman jokes that will for sure put a smile on everyones mouth and help you make milked pranks.

What do you call a cow...

...w/ no legs? Ground beef.
...w/ 1 leg? Stake.
...w/ 2 legs? Lean beef.
...w/ 3 legs? Tri-tip.
...w/ 4 legs? A cow, you d**....
...w/ 4 legs in the air? High stakes.
...w/ 5 legs? Chernobull.
...w/ no hind legs? An udder drag.
...w/ a twitch? Beef jerky.
I could keep going but I've milked this joke dry

Jimmy's First Cow

One fine morning on the family farm, Jimmy excitedly ran into the house with a glass of milk. He can't wait to show his father so he runs into the living room.
He shouts "Hey dad! I just milked my first cow!" while proudly holding up the glass of milk and then chugging the entire thing.
His dad stares at him horrified and says "But son... we don't have a cow, we have a bull"

What's black and white and being milked tonight?

Michael brown's death

What do you call it when a cow get's milked without consent?

"Moo-lestation"

What do 9/11 and an old cow have in common?

They've both been milked for 14 years.

What's the difference between a cow and Super Mario Bros?

A cow can't be milked for over 30 years

As a kid, I was scared of cows

I was moortified.
That was a little cheesy.
Well I milked this one out as long as I cud.

What is it called when a cow is unwillingly milked?

**Moo**lestation

After i milked my cow, i made sure i moved the bucket across my face.

They said it was unsafe until it was past your eyes.

Did you hear about the farmers cow that couldn't be milked?

The cow was an udder disappointment

What happened to the goat after it crossed the road?

It got milked

Milked joke, What happened to the goat after it crossed the road?