Milk Jug Jokes

15 milk jug jokes and hilarious milk jug puns to laugh out loud. Read jokes about milk jug that are clean and suitable for kids and friends.

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Funniest Milk Jug Short Jokes

Short milk jug jokes and puns are one of the best ways to have fun with word play in English. The milk jug humour may include short milk carton jokes also.

  1. Man walks into a grocery store When the cashier asks if he wants his milk in a bag, he says "No thanks. Keep it in the jug."
  2. Cashier: "Would you like your milk in a bag, sir?" Me: "No thanks, just leave it in the jug."
  3. Guess who's going to be spoiled on Valentine's Day...? The jug of milk in our refrigerator dated 2-14.
  4. Milk jug cop pulls over a speeding milk jug. Speeding milk jug says: "I'll see you in quart!"
  5. When I was a kid, you could go in a store with 10 dollars and get out with a new ball, 4 milk j**..., a shirt and a pair of shoes. Nowadays you can't. There are security cameras everywhere.

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Milk Jug One Liners

Which milk jug one liners are funny enough to crack down and make fun with milk jug? I can suggest the ones about milk and spilled milk.

  1. What do you call a frozen milk jug alone in a room? Solidairity.
  2. I saw Dolly Parton at the grocery store. She had a loaf of bread and two j**... of milk.

Milk Jug Funny Jokes And Hilarious Puns.

What funny jokes about milk jug you can tell and make people laugh? An example I can give is a clean cow milked jokes that will for sure put a smile on everyones mouth and help you make milk jug pranks.

A boy returns home from running an errand for his quarantined grandfather.

He says, "Grandpa, I got all the groceries you wanted! All together, it came to $47.22. Here's your change."
Grandpa says, "My goodness, the world is expensive nowadays. When I was a boy your age, I could get five pounds of potatoes, three loaves of bread, two pounds of beef, a jug of milk, a tin of tobacco for my dad, and a handful of my favorite candies, all for about five cents.
"Can't do that today, though. No sir-ee Bob."
"Why is that, grandpa?" asks the boy.
"Too many f**...' cameras."

A woman goes to a supermarket

A woman goes to a supermarket. After gathering her items, she goes to the checkout counter.
The cashier looks at the items she bought: a jug of milk, a carton of eggs, & a head of lettuce
The cashier says "You must be single"
The woman says "Oh my god, how did you know?"
The cashier responds:
"Because you're ugly."

A logician is asked to go to get groceries.

His wife said: "Go get a jug of milk. If they have eggs, buy a dozen". Later, his wife said: "Why did you come back with a dozen j**... of milk?" The logician said: "They had eggs."

I did the math on Hurricane Florence rain fall...

There is predicted to be 17 Trillion gallons of rain falling from Florence.
The width of a milk jug is 5.5"
Rain x Width = 93 Trillion inches
93 Trillion divided by 12 gets you 7,791,6**...,6**...,6**... Feet
Divided by 5280
1,475,694,444 Miles
Divided by 93,000,000 miles to get Astronomical Units
You get 15.8 AU's.
You're so fat, that even though Florence is dropping 17 trillion gallons of rain, It's still not enough to get to Uranus.

A Turkish man stopped by my convenience store and bought a gallon of milk. He comes back in an hour later with the same jug of milk, absolutely furious at me for selling him "bad milk!" I ask him what the problem is and he tells me its all


When I was a kid, my dad would give me $5 and tell me to get groceries. I would come back with 2 j**... of milk, 2 dozen eggs, 1lb cheeze, 1lb Hamburger, 2 loafs of bread, and a half pound of butter.

But now a-days security has gotten better you just can't steal that much anymore.