Milk Carton Jokes
64 milk carton jokes and hilarious milk carton puns to laugh out loud. Read jokes about milk carton that are clean and suitable for kids and friends.
Funniest Milk Carton Short Jokes
Short milk carton jokes and puns are one of the best ways to have fun with word play in English. The milk carton humour may include short milk jug jokes also.
- I switched my kids to almond milk. Whenever people ask me if I think it's healthier I tell them "Nah, I just got tired of them asking why their picture is on the back of the milk cartons."
- When I'm buying milk, the clerk always says "Do you want your milk in a bag?" I always say "No just keep it in the carton."
I like to see who's awake at Target. :) - Just checked that the carton of milk in my fridge expired December 31. Unlike me, it had a date on New Year's Eve.
- A supermarket cashier asked if I want my milk in a bag... I said no, I prefer it staying in the carton.
- If I ever go missing... I would like my photo but on wine bottles instead of milk cartons. This way my friends will know where to look for me.
- What's the Difference between Australia and a carton of milk left out in the sun for 200 years? At least after 200 years, the milk grows some culture...
- Gotta love a dad joke Whenever the cashier at the grocery store asks my dad if he would like the milk in a bag he replies, 'No, just leave it in the carton!'
- Shopping with dad... At the supermarket buying milk.
Cashier: "Would you like the milk in a bag?"
Old man: "Nah mate, just leave it in the carton"
Haha, classic dad joke! - They have these new cream corn containers that look like milk cartons... They call it Soft Pour Corn.
- So I'm kind of a photographer Whenever I hang out with a kid, their picture ends up on a milk carton
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Milk Carton One Liners
Which milk carton one liners are funny enough to crack down and make fun with milk carton? I can suggest the ones about carton and cardboard box.
- My brother just threw a milk carton at me How dairy.
- [OC] Why cant milk cartons walk? Because they lactose.
- My brother just hit me with a milk carton How dairy
- How does Ice-Cube drink his milk? Straight Outta Carton.
- Cashier: "Would you like the milk in a bag, sir?" No, just leave it in the carton.
- I was walking down the road and some guy tipped a whole carton of milk on me... How dairy
- How much milk do cars drink? A car-ton full
- Milk cartons in Asia have missing planes on them instead of children.
- I have empty cartons of milk in the fridge In case people want a black coffee
- Why can't milk cartons wear flip flops? Because they lactose
- What did the dragon say to the carton? Game Of Thrones milk?
- An old man threw a carton of milk at me today. How b**... dairy.
Charming Humor Milk Carton Jokes with Loads of Fun
What funny jokes about milk carton you can tell and make people laugh? An example I can give is a clean milkman jokes that will for sure put a smile on everyones mouth and help you make milk carton pranks.
What did the mooron say when he saw the milk cartons in the grass?
"Hey! Look at the cow's nest!"
Q: Why did the blonde keep an empty carton of milk in the fridge?
A: In case she wanted black coffee.
This could be considered the ideal world for many men:
His son on the cover of a box of Wheaties.
His mistress in the centerfold of p**....
A picture of his wife on the milk carton.
You seem like the kind of person who always tried to open the wrong side of the milk carton in grade school.
Whenever the cashier at the grocery store asks my dad if he would like the milk in a bag he replies,
"No, just leave it in the carton! "
P. S. thanks for the 4 people who sort by new. appreciate it.
Never question a drunk!
A 37 year old woman at the super market says: NEVER, EVER, QUESTION A DRUNK . . . . I was shopping at the local supermarket where I selected:
A half-gallon of 2% milk
A carton of eggs
A quart of orange juice
A head of lettuce
A 2 lb. Can of coffee
A 1 lb. Package of bacon
As I was unloading my items on the conveyor belt to check out, a drunk standing behind me watched as I placed the items in front of the cashier. While the cashier was ringing up the purchases, the drunk calmly stated -- 'You must be single.'
I was a bit startled by this proclamation, but I was intrigued by the derelict's intuition, since I indeed had never found "Mr. Right." I looked at the six items on the belt and saw nothing particularly unusual about my selections that could have tipped off the drunk to my marital status.....
Curiosity getting the better of me, I said -- 'Yes you are correct. But how on earth did you know that?'
The drunk replied -- 'Cause you're ugly'.
Conveyor Belt
A man was shopping at his local supermarket where he selected a half-gallon of 2% milk, a carton of eggs, a quart of orange juice, head of romaine lettuce, a 2 lb. can of coffee, and a 1 lb. package of bacon.
He unloaded his items on the conveyor belt to check out, and the cashier said "You must be single."
The young man was a bit startled by this proclamation,
but he was intrigued by the check-out girl's intuition, since he was indeed single. He looked at his six items on the belt and saw nothing particularly unusual about his selections that could have tipped off the cashier.
Curiosity getting the better of him, he said "Well, you
know what, you're absolutely correct. But how on earth did you know that?"
The cashier replied, "Cause you're ugly."
A woman shopping at her local mart where....................
................................she selected:
a half-gallon of 2% milk
a carton of eggs
a quart of orange juice
a head of romaine lettuce
a 2 lb. can of coffee
a 1 lb. package of bacon
As she was unloading her items onto the conveyor belt to check out, a drunk standing behind her was watching.
While the cashier was ringing up her purchases, the drunk calmly stated, "You must be single."
The woman was a bit startled by this proclamation, but she was intrigued by the derelict's intuition, since she was indeed single. She looked at her six items on the belt and saw nothing particularly unusual about her selections that could have tipped of the drunk to her marital status. Curiosity getting the better of her, she said, "Well, you know what, you're absolutely correct. But how on Earth did you know that?"
The drunk replied, "'Cuz you're ugly"
A woman says to her engineer husband...
"Could you please go to the store for me and buy a carton of milk. And if they have eggs, get six."
A short time later the husband comes back with six cartons of milk. The wife asks, "Why the heck did you buy six cartons of milk?"
"They had eggs."
So a woman is at a supermarket...
She is loading all her items on the conveyer belt for the chasier to scan.
Her items are; A litre of milk, a carton of eggs, and a head of lettuce.
The cashier looks at her and says, "Are you single?"
The customer, shocked at her assumption says, "Yes, I am. How did you know?"
The cashier says, "Because you're ugly."
A woman goes to a supermarket
A woman goes to a supermarket. After gathering her items, she goes to the checkout counter.
The cashier looks at the items she bought: a jug of milk, a carton of eggs, & a head of lettuce
The cashier says "You must be single"
The woman says "Oh my god, how did you know?"
The cashier responds:
"Because you're ugly."
A woman was shopping at her local supermarket.
A woman was shopping at her local supermarket where she selected a half-gallon of 2% milk, a carton of eggs, a quart of orange juice, a head of romaine lettuce, a 2 lb. can of coffee, and a 1 lb. package of bacon.
As she was unloading her items onto the conveyor belt to check out, a drunk standing behind her was watching.
While the cashier was ringing up her purchases, the drunk calmly stated, "You must be single."
The woman was a bit startled by this proclamation, but she was intrigued by the derelict's intuition, since she was indeed single. She looked at her six items on the belt and saw nothing particularly unusual about her selections that could have tipped of the drunk to her marital status. Curiosity getting the better of her, she said, "Well, you know what, you're absolutely correct. But how on Earth did you know that?"
The drunk replied, "'Cuz you're ugly"
A woman is putting her grocery items on the conveyor belt...
A woman is putting her items on the conveyor belt and the clerk sees, a carton of eggs, a gallon of milk, and a head of lettuce. The clerk looks at all of the items and says to the woman, "You must be single." The woman, shocked, says "Yes! How do you know this?" The clerk replies with
"It's because you're ugly"
You must be single...
A woman was shopping at her local supermarket where she selected:
a half-gallon of 2% milk, a carton of eggs, a quart of orange juice, a head of romaine lettuce, a 2 lb. can of coffee, and a 1 lb. package of bacon.
As she was unloading her items onto the conveyor belt to check out, a drunk standing behind her was watching.
While the cashier was ringing up her purchases, the drunk calmly stated, "You must be single."
The woman was a bit startled by this proclamation, but she was intrigued by the derelict's intuition, since she was indeed single. She looked at her six items on the belt and saw nothing particularly unusual about her selections that could have tipped of the drunk to her marital status. Curiosity getting the better of her, she said, "Well, you know what, you're absolutely correct. But how on Earth did you know that?"
The drunk replied, "'Cuz you're ugly."
You must be single.
A woman is at a grocery store. She goes to the clerk to purchase her groceries. The clerk looks at her items and sees a carton of eggs, a gallon of milk, and a head of lettuce. He says to the woman, "You must be single." The woman was surprised & replies, "Yes, how did you know?" The clerk answers, "Because you're ugly."
A perfect breakfast
my perfect breakfast:
my son on a box of wheaties, my girlfriend on the cover of p**...,my wife on the back of a milk carton…
My grandpa would always tell me...
that when he was growing up, in rural Texas, his momma would give him $1 and send him down to the store. He'd come back with 2 loaves of bread, half a gallon of milk, a carton of eggs, and a pound of pork. He says you can't do that now-a-days, way too many security cameras.
It's almost Valentine's day
It's almost Valentine's Day and I don't even have a date, even the milk carton has a date.
I asked my grandfather for twenty dollars.
"Twenty dollars?!" he said. "For what?"
"To buy groceries," I told him.
"When I was a boy," my grandfather said. "My mama would give me one dollar, just *one dollar*, and I'd go to the store and come home with two loaves of bread, two sacks of potatoes, a carton of eggs, three bottles of milk, a can of coffee and a box of tea."
He shrugged and paused.
"Times have changed and ya can't do that now," he told me. "Too many f**...' security cameras."
A Man Walks Into The Kitchen And Grabs A Milk Carton
He sees the picture of a missing g**... the back of it. Then he shouts into the living room: "Jessica, come! You look so young in this picture!"
Police were on the lookout for serial killer John Wayne Gacy
They stepped into a corner store for some coffee and saw a guy in back where the milk cartons are.
Cop 1: "Hey, that looks like our suspect!"
Cop 2: "What's he doing?"
Cop 1: "Talking to himself. Let's get closer."
So they go up right behind him and listen.
Gacy:"Need him. Got him. Got him. Got him. Need him. Got him...."
They say drinking milk makes you stronger...
So I drank a carton of milk, and then I tried to push my fridge and it didn't even budge.
Frustrated, I decided to drink a bottle of v**..., and guess what happened?
The fridge moved itself
I saw a man at the grocery store flinging slices of American cheese into the air.
He then started chugging cartons of milk right off the shelf.
After that he started smashing containers of yogurt open on his forehead.
It was shocking. All I could think was how dare he!
What did one milk carton say to the other?
What's up doodh!
(Doodh is milk in Hindi/Urdu)
A wife asks her husband, Could you please go shopping for me and buy one carton of milk and, if they have avocados, get six.
A short time later, the husband returns with six cartons of milk.
Why did you buy six cartons of milk? the wife asks.
He replies, They had avocados.
A Spaniard is walking through a grocery store
He spies a carton on the shelf labeled "Soy Milk"
He smiles to himself and says softly "yes you are"
They say milk helps baby's grow..
But I've poured 3 cartons of milk on to this baby and all it's done is cry.
I heard that milk helps babies grow but I don't think it's true
I've lured three cartons over mine and all it's done so far is cry
A lady goes to the supermarket
She brings all her items to the cashier who looks at everything closely as he scans them: 6 eggs, two tomatoes, two cucumbers, one onion, and one carton of milk. After the last item he looks to her and says "you're single aren't you?"
She looks from her items back at him incredulously "Yes! How did you know?"
"Because you're ugly"
I used to be able to go to the store with only a quarter and come back with a carton of milk, but now I have to pay five whole dollars.
Some people blame inflation, but personally, I blame the security cameras.
The checker at the grocery store asked me if I wanted my milk in a bag.
I told her to leave it in the carton.
I've probably told checkers that 100 times, and not once did they get the joke.