Milk Bath Jokes

Following is our collection of towel humor and dairy one-liner funnies working better than reddit jokes. They include Milk Bath puns for adults, dirty gunpowder jokes or clean baths gags for kids.

There is an abundance of udders jokes out there. You're fortunate to read a set of the 12 funniest jokes on milk bath. Full with funny wisecracks it is even funnier than any bathtub witze you can hear about milk bath.

The Best jokes about Milk Bath

A woman calls her local dairy, telling them she wants to order enough milk to take a milk bath...

You want the milk pasteurized?

No, just up to my tits.

My wife has really dry skin

My wife has really dry skin so I asked my doctor what I could do about it.
He said, "Give her a milk bath."
I said, "Pasteurized?"
The doctor replied, "No, just up to her knees will do."

Did you know that bathing in cows' milk is good for your legs?

After all, it was originally made for calves.

A Lady walks into a Grocery Store..

A lady went into the grocery and asked for fifty gallons of milk. The clerk, amazed, asked her what she was going to do with that much milk. "I have a skin problem and the Doctor prescribed a milk bath". The clerk asked "Pasteurised?" She replied "No just up to my chin"

A woman had a terrible skin disease

That covered her legs. She went to a dermatologist and he said

"What you have is very rare but easily cured. Take a bath in milk for 3 nights and it will go away."

The woman went home and called the local grocery store and said
"I would like to buy 40 gallons of milk to bathe in."

The man on the phone exclaimed "40 gallons pasturized!?"

She said "heavens no... Just past my waist."


I hear its great for your skin!

A woman is reading through a magazine. She comes across an article that says "if you take a bath in milk it gives you softer more supple skin." She decides it is a good idea so she leaves a note on her door for the milkman to leave her 25 gallons of milk. The milkman shows up and says "ma'am you sure its not 2.5 gallons?" She says "no 25 is right". The milkman said " may I asked what your going to do with 25 gallons of milk?" She replied " I am going to take a bath in it." The milkman then said " ok, do you want that pasteurize?". She said" no just get it up to my nipples I can splash it on my face from there."

A woman heard a milk bath was good for your skin

Next time the milk man stopped by she was sure to ask if he could bring enough next time for a bath. "Would you prefer pasteurized?" He asked. "No, just up to my knees is fine".

A milkman gets an order for 45 pints of milk.

Puzzled, he decides to ask the customer if this is a mistake.
she confirms saying "Milk baths are good for your skin," explains the woman.

"Oh, OK," replies the milkman. "Do you need it pasteurized then?"

"No," says the woman. "Up to my neck will be fine."

The Beauty Treatment

A blonde heard that bathing in milk would make her beautiful. She left a note for her milkman to leave 25 gallons of milk. When the milkman read the note, he felt there must be a mistake.

He thought she probably meant 2.5 gallons. So he knocked on the door to clarify the point.
The blonde came to the door and the milkman said, "I found your note asking me to leave 25 gallons of milk. Did you mean 2.5 gallons?"

The blonde said, "No, I want 25 gallons. I'm going to fill my bathtub up with milk and take a milk bath so I can look young and beautiful again."

The milkman asked, "Do you want it pasteurized?"

The blonde said, "No, just up to my neck. I can splash it on my eyes.

Anybody taking bath in Milk..

"Why do you take baths in milk?"
"I can't find a cow tall enough for a shower."

I hear you take milk baths.
That's right.
Why?
I can't find a cow tall enough for a shower.


I ordered milk for a milk bath

The milkman asked, pasteurized ? I said no, just under my chin

Use only working piadas for adults and blagues for friends. Note that dirty and dark jokes are funny, but use them with caution in real life. You can seriously offend people by saying creepy dark humor words to them.

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