Military Police Jokes
5 military police jokes and hilarious military police puns to laugh out loud. Read jokes about military police that are clean and suitable for kids and friends.
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Cheerful Military Police Jokes for Unforgettable Laughter with Friends!
What is a good military police joke to make people laugh? Check out this list of funny stories that will for sure put a smile on everyones mouth.
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
A soldier is running from Military Police. He runs up to a nun, and asks, out of breath: "Please... may I hide under your tunic?"
..."I'll explain later."
The nun nods in agreement.
A moment later, two Military Police officers show up and ask:
"Sister, have you seen a soldier here?"
The nun shakes her head. MPs run off, and the soldier crawls out from under her tunic and says, "I can't thank you enough, sister. You see, I don't want to go to Syria. I want to return to my family..."
The nun nods and smiles.
The soldier, relieved, adds jokingly: "I hope I'm not rude, but you have a great pair of legs!"
The nun smiles, and replies in a deep voice "Well lad, if you had looked a bit higher, you would've seen a great pair of b**...… guess we're both not going to Syria."
Vacations
Russian military tank crosses the border into Finland and a Russian soldier steps out.
"Good morning," says the Border police, "Name?"
"Ivan Ivanovich."
"Occupation?"
"No, just a vacation."
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
A soldier is running from the military police.
Just in time he sees a Nun and asks if he can hide under her dress explaining that he doesn't want to get sent to Afghanistan. She agrees and he is able to outwit the MP. When he crawls out he says you have a really nice pair of legs sister. The Nun says, yeah and if you had looked up, you'd have seen that I have a really nice pair or b**... too, I don't want to go to Afghanistan either.
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
A NUN and A SOLDIER (x-post)
A soldier ran up to a nun.
Out of breath he asked,
"Please, may I hide under your skirt. I'll explain later."
The nun agreed.
A moment later two Military Police ran up and asked, "Sister, have you seen a soldier?"
The nun replied, "He went that way."
After the Military Police ran off, the soldier crawled out from under her skirt and said, 'I can't thank you enough Sister You see, I don't want to go to war to Syria. .
The nun said, "I understand completely."
The soldier added, "I hope I'm not rude, but you have a great pair of legs!"
The nun replied, "If you had looked a little higher, you would have seen a great pair of b**.......I don't want to go to Syria either!
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
The Soldier and the Nun
A soldier ran up to a nun, Out of breath he asked,
"Please, may I hide under your skirt. I'll explain later."
The nun agreed. A moment later two Military Police officers ran up and asked, "Sister, have you seen a soldier?"
The nun replied, "He went that way."
After the Military Police officers ran off, the soldier crawled out from under her skirt and said, 'I can't thank you enough Sister. You see, I don't want to go to war to Iraq."
The nun said, "I understand completely."
The soldier added, "I hope I'm not rude, but you have a great pair of legs!"
The nun replied, "If you had looked a little higher, you would have seen a great pair of b**.......I don't want to go to Iraq either!
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