Miles Nearest Jokes
16 miles nearest jokes and hilarious miles nearest puns to laugh out loud. Read jokes about miles nearest that are clean and suitable for kids and friends.
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Hilarious Miles Nearest Jokes for a Fun-Filled Night with Friends
What is a good miles nearest joke to make people laugh? Check out this list of funny stories that will for sure put a smile on everyones mouth.
Three women were stranded on an island after a shipwreck
Three women were stranded on an island after a shipwreck, a redhead, brunette and a blonde. The nearest civilization was a 40 mile swim away. The redhead swam 10 miles and drowned. The brunette swam 15 miles and drowned. The blonde swam 20 miles, became exhausted and decided she wouldn't be able to make the rest of the swim; so she swam back.
There was a blonde , a redhead and a brunette
They were all trapped on an island and the nearest shore was 50 miles away.
**The redhead swam trying to make it to the other shore she swam 15 miles, drowned, and died.**
The brunette swam 24 miles, drowned, and died.
**The blonde swam 25 miles, got tired, and swam back.**
A blonde, a redhead and a brunette stranded on an island...
There was a blonde, a redhead, and a brunette. They were all trapped on an island and the nearest shore was 50 miles away. The redhead swam trying to make it to the other shore she swam 15 miles, drowned, and died. The brunette swam 25 miles, drowned, and died. The blonde swam 25 miles, got tired, and swam back.
There was a blonde...
There was a blonde, a redhead, and a brunette. They were all trapped on an island and the nearest shore was 50 miles away. The redhead swam trying to make it to the other shore she swam 15 miles, drowned, and died. The brunette swam 24 miles, drowned, and died. The blonde swam 25 miles, got tired, and swam back.
A blonde, a red head, and a brunette are trapped on a deserted island 50 miles away from the nearest coast.
The red head decides to swim. She made it 10 miles, then drowned. The brunette also decides to swim. She made it 20 miles then drowned. Finally, the blonde decides to swim. She made it 25 miles, then she got tired and swam back to the island
Blonde joke
A redhead, a brunette and a blonde are stuck on a desert island.
They know the nearest coast is 50 miles away.
The redhead swims 30 miles but gets tired and drowns.
The brunette swims 45 miles but gets tired and drowns.
The blonde swims 40 miles, gets tired and swims back to the island.
In spite of the recent weather in the UK recently.
And also because the nearest shop was a mile away, I went to 84 year old Margaret's house next door to see if she needed anything from the shop.
She said she needed a few things so I gave her my list of things that I needed.
I mean there's no point in both of us going out in that n**... weather!
Gosa, the village idiot
Gosa, the village idiot, is walking along the banks of the Nile when Abdullah sees him and calls across from the other side
'Gosa, the Nile is wide and mighty, and the nearest crossing is miles away, how did you get to the other side?'
Gosa, with a smile on his face, replies
'But my dear friend Abdullah, you ARE on the other side!'
There was a blonde, a redhead, and a brunette.
They were all trapped on an island and the nearest shore was 50 miles away. The redhead swam trying to make it to the other shore she swam 15 miles, drowned, and died. The brunette swam 24 miles, drowned, and died. The blonde swam 25 miles, got tired, and swam back.
A city slicker moves to the countryside...
... and is visited by his nearest neighbor, the rancher who lives 5 miles distant.
The rancher says, "Welcome to the neighborhood! I'm having a party tomorrow, and you're invited."
The city slicker says, "Well, that's very very neighborly of you. Thank you."
Rancher says, "Though I should warn you, there's a-gonna be some heavy drinkin'."
City slicker says, "That's okay, I've done my share of drinking."
Rancher says, "And there's probably a-gonna be some fightin', too."
City slicker says, "Well... that's okay, I can keep my own peace."
Rancher says, "And there's a-gonna be some s**..., too."
City slicker says, "I'm fine with that. So... is there anything I should bring to the party?"
Rancher says, "Naw, it's just a-gonna be you and me."
A blonde, a brunette, and a redhead c**... on a deserted island
A blonde, brunette, and redhead are shipwrecked on a deserted island. They find a small wooden sign on the beach that reads, "nearest island is 100 miles to the north". So the brunette decides to try and swim. She swims 25 miles, gets tired, and drowns. The redhead decides to give it a go. She swims 75 miles, gets tired, and also drowns. Figuring she has nothing to lose since her friends are dead, the blonde tries. She swims 50 miles, gets tired, and swims back.
Joke of the day
There are three blondes who are on a road trip. As they are driving through the desert, their car breaks down. They have no phone to call anyone, so they decide to walk to the nearest city, several miles away. They each decide to take one thing to make the journey better. The first blonde takes the radio and says, "If we get bored, we can put the radio on and listen to music." The second blonde decides to take a wheel, "In case one of us gets really tired, we can go inside the wheel and be rolled." The third blonde takes the car door, "In case it gets too hot, we can roll down the window!"
A blonde, brunette, and redhead escape from prison.
They made their way down the nearest road looking for somewhere to hide out for the night. After a couple of miles, they come upon a Barn on the side of the road. They thought "why not?" and slept in the barn for the night.
Unfortunately they overslept and awoke to find police investigating the grounds around the barn outside. "Better take a look inside" they heard a cop say. They decided to each hide in an empty burlap sack in an effort to evade the police.
As the cop searched the interior of the barn, he came upon 3 filled burlap sacks. Being lazy, he investigated the sack with the brunette with a kick from his boot. "Woof!" said the brunette. "Ah, just a dog in this one," said the cop. He then kicked the one with the redhead in it. "Meow!" she said. "Just a cat in that one," the cop said. He then kicked the one with the blonde in it. The blonde confidently exclaimed, "Potatoes!"
Two campers are hiking in the woods . . .
One is bitten on the rear end by a rattlesnake. "I'll go into town for a doctor," the other one says. He runs ten miles to the nearest town and finds the town's only doctor, who is delivering a baby.
"I can't leave," the doctor says. "But here's what to do. Take a knife, cut a little X where the bite is, s**... out the poison, then spit it out."
The guy runs back to his friend, who is in agony.
"What did the doctor say?" the victim asks.
"He says you're going to die."
A yuppie is driving through the country and sees a pig on the side of the road...
...but there aren't any farms nearby. So, he picks it up and puts it in the passenger seat and drives off looking for the nearest person to whom it may have belonged. After a few miles he drives by a farm, stops, and asks the farmer if it's his pig.
"Nope, ain't mine, and no farmers around here own no pigs."
"Do you want him?"
"Nope." The farmer replies.
"Well, what should I do with him?" The yuppie asks.
"I guess you oughta just take him to the zoo."
So the yuppie leaves with the pig. The next day the farmer sees the same yuppie in the same car with the same pig. Only now the pig is wearing a baseball cap. Perplexed, the farmer waves his arm for the yuppie to stop. "What are you doing with that pig? I thought you were gonna take him to the zoo!"
"I did! We had so much fun now I'm taking him to the ballgame!"
There are three blondes who are on a road trip.
As they are driving through the desert, their car breaks down. They have no phone to call anyone, so they decide to walk to the nearest city, several miles away. They each decide to take one thing to make the journey better. The first blonde takes the radio and says, "If we get bored, we can put the radio on and listen to music." The second blonde decides to take a wheel, "In case one of us gets really tired, we can go inside the wheel and be rolled." The third blonde takes the car door, "In case it gets too hot, we can roll down the window!"
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