Miles Name Jokes
30 miles name jokes and hilarious miles name puns to laugh out loud. Read jokes about miles name that are clean and suitable for kids and friends.
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Funniest Miles Name Short Jokes
Short miles name jokes and puns are one of the best ways to have fun with word play in English. The miles name humour may include short miles jokes also.
- I named my dog "5 miles." So that I could frequently say, "I am going to walk 5 miles now."
- I ran over 2 Miles yesterday Such a coincidence that both unfortunate fellas had the same name.
- I just found out that Miles Teller, the actor in Top Gun,uses a stage name. His original name was Odometer.
- A buddy of mine named is dog "5 miles" Just to say he walked 5 miles.
But today he ran over 5 miles. - My patient walks 5 miles every day His dog's name is, 5 Miles!
My mom told me this joke:)
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Miles Name One Liners
Which miles name one liners are funny enough to crack down and make fun with miles name? I can suggest the ones about miles nearest and mile wide.
- I ran over Five Miles this morning Looking back, Five Miles is a terrible name for a dog.
- I walked 10 miles today. I knew I shouldn't have let my dad name my dog.
- Step 1: Name your dog miles. Step 2: Brag that you walk miles every day
- I have a friend named miles But he moved to Europe so now he goes by Kilometers.
- I ran over 10 miles today Now that I think of it, ten miles was a bad name for a dog
- What's the longest name? Miles
- There is a blind guy called Miles, what is the name of his guide dog? Roger Daltrey.
Miles Name Funny Jokes And Hilarious Puns.
What funny jokes about miles name you can tell and make people laugh? An example I can give is a clean kilometers jokes that will for sure put a smile on everyones mouth and help you make miles name pranks.
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
m**... and p**... are reading head stones at a nearby cemetery.
m**... says," Crikey! There's a bloke here who was 152!"
p**... says, "What's his name?"
m**... replies, "Miles, from London."
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
Jim and his s**... life...
A man named Jim has been married to his beautiful wife for 15 years. They have two wonderful kids, a dog and a nice home.
You see, Jim works really hard at his job, but lately his s**... life has suffered because of it.
Jim goes to his doctor to ask why he is so tired all the time.
Jim says to his doc "you know, I work 16 hour days and when I come home I just have no time to be intimate with my wife. I have no energy! What do I do!"
His doctor replies "Okay Jim I can see you're a little bit overweight so maybe you need some exercise to increase that stamina. Every day for 30 days I want you to walk a mile. I'll phone you after 30 days"
So Jim starts walking that day. He walks one mile every day, hoping this will help.
On the 30th day his doctor phones.
Doc: "Jim! Did you do what I told you?"
Jim: "Yeah I did doc."
Doc: "Well how's your s**... life? Did it improve?"
Jim: "I wouldn't know. I'm 30 miles from home!"
Told to me by my grandmother
Two men were lost in the desert...
When they come across a road, and a headstone.
"Look here!" the first man, Frank, said," Some guy's been buried here. Poor sod, he was only 15."
"Who was he?" Inquired the second man, Fred.
"Some kid named Miles from Bakersfield," answered Fred.
I had a student named Miles in my 5th grade class who moved to JAPAN. Had to change his name to Kilometers.
Slight adjustment to an originally hilarious joke that was shunned on a technicality. #IwasOnlyJoking
A guy named Miles gets lost during a marathon in India...
"Surely I should be at the finish line by now!" he thinks.
Shortly he comes upon a group of Punjabi people, practically a score of them. "Excuse me," he asks, "Have you all seen anyone running a race around here? I'm not sure how long this thing is supposed to be. If so, can you point them out to me?"
Twenty Sikhs point to Miles.
Mile High Club
Airplane pilot comes on the intercom and says "folks, to save the lives of the other 127 people on this plane, 3 of you will have to jump."
Everyone looks around and finally a Frenchman stands up and says "in the name of France, I'll jump. Viva la France!" And he jumps out of the plane.
Next minute an Englishman stands up and says "in the name of England, I'll jump. God save the queen!" And he jumps.
Finally, a big guy stands up and says "I'm from Texas. And in the name of Texas..." he walks to the back of the plane, picks up a Mexican, and throws him from the plane. "Remember the Alamo."
Worst part is, poor little guy was Hawaiian.
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
A funny true encounter
I was spending some time alone in an isolated cabin in the Ozarks. Not a neighbor for hundreds of meters. One day at around 9 p.m. I get a knock on the door, so I go to answer it. I see a large, p**... bellied man with a huge bushy beard.
"The name's Hank. I live just a mile down the road. I see you're new around here. I'm throwing a party tonight and I thought you might like to come."
"Sure, sounds great!" I said.
"There's gonna be drinking!"
"I can drink with the best of them!"
"There's gonna be fighting!"
"Sounds like fun!"
"There's gonna be some wild s**...!"
"Sweet! What should I wear?"
"It don't matter. Just gonna be the two of us."
How I got slapped in the face by a nun.
So a couple of months ago, my friends and I decided to start a laundry business. After we bought a store and the requisite machinery, we decided that we needed some publicity. There was an Old Convent about a mile out of town, and we decided that doing their laundry for free would surely get our name in the papers. So one afternoon, I drive there and ring the doorbell. The mother superior answers, and I ask "Hi there, I was wondering if the nuns had some dirty habits?"
Incognito
Two salesmen are traveling in the country when their car breaks down. The only house around for miles was a large mansion. They knock on the door and a beautiful widow answers the door. Since it is early evening and the garage will not be opened until morning, she offers to let them spend the night in the guest bedrooms.
In the morning they call the tow truck and leave.
About three months later salesman number one opens a letter and can't believe what he reads. He goes to salesman number two and says:
"When we spent the night at the widow's mansion, did you sneak away into her bedroom in the middle of the night?"
"Why, yes I did."
"And did you use my name?"
"Why, yes how did you know?"
"Well, it seems she died and left me her 5 million dollar estate!"
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
Alaskan retirement.
Jeff had been in business for 25 years. Finally sick of the stress,
he quits his job and buys 50 acres of land in Alaska as far from
humanity as possible. He sees the postman once a week and
gets groceries once a month. Otherwise it's total peace and
quiet.
After six months or so of almost total isolation, someone knocks
on his door. He opens it and a huge, bearded man is standing there.
"Name's Stan, your neighbor from forty miles up the road. Having
a Christmas party Friday night. Thought you might like to come at
about 5:00."
"Great", says Jeff, "after six months out here I'm ready to meet
some local folks. Thank you."
As Stan is leaving, he stops. "Gotta warn you. Be some
drinkin!"
"Not a problem" says Jeff. "After 25 years in the business, I can
drink with the best of 'em."
Again, the big man starts to leave and stops. "More 'n' likely
gonna be some fighting' too."
"Well, I get along with people, I'll be all right and, if not, I can
handle myself pretty well .....I'll be there. Thanks again."
"More'n likely be some wild s**..., too,"
"Now that's really not a problem" says Jeff, warming to the idea.
"I've been all alone for six months! I'll definitely be there. By the
way, what should I wear?"
"Don't much matter. Just gonna be the two of us."
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
Peace'n quiet in Auz
Tom had been in Police work for 25 years.
Finally sick of the stress, he quits his job and buys 50 acres of land in the hills in Tasmania as far from humanity as possible.
He sees the postman once a week and gets groceries once a month. Otherwise it's total peace and quiet.
After six months or so of almost total isolation, someone knocks on his door. He opens it and a huge, bearded man is standing there.
'Name's Cliff, your neighbor from forty miles up the road. Having a Christmas party Friday night. Thought you might like to come at about 5:00...'
'Great', says Tom, 'after six months out here I'm ready to meet some local folks thank you.'
As Cliff is leaving, he stops. 'Gotta warn you. Be some drinking'.'
'Not a problem' says Tom. 'After 25 years in the business, I can drink with the best of 'em'.
Again, the big man starts to leave and stops.
'More 'n' likely gonna be some fighting' too.'
'Well, I get along with people, I'll be all right! .
I'll be there. Thanks again.'
'More'n likely be some wild s**..., too,'
'Now that's really not a problem' says Tom, warming to the idea. 'I've been all alone for six months! I'll definitely be there.. By the way, what should I wear?'
'Don't much matter. Just gonna be the two of us.