Mileage Jokes
7 mileage jokes and hilarious mileage puns to laugh out loud. Read jokes about mileage that are clean and suitable for kids and friends.
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Amusing & Witty Mileage Jokes for Laughter-Filled Fun
What is a good mileage joke to make people laugh? Check out this list of funny stories that will for sure put a smile on everyones mouth.
I'm looking to sell my DeLorean. Good shape, low mileage...
Only driven from time to time.
A blond walks into a mechanic's shop.
She is concerned because her car has a lot of miles and nobody wants to buy it from her. The mechanic tells her that for a price, he can roll back the odometer. After she agrees, he does just that, telling her she can now sell her car. He blond says, "why would I do that? It has lower mileage now!"
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
f**... director takes his hearse to the mechanic, "My car gets really bad mileage."
Mechanic says, "I'm sorry sir I don't think I can help, It's because of all the dead weight in the back."
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
Little Johnny Catches his Dad and Step-Mom Having s**...
Dad: It's OK Little Johnny, I'm just filling your step-mom's tank..........
Little Johnny: Really? Well, you should trade her for a woman that gets better mileage. The Postman already filled her up this morning.
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
Car for Sale
p**... wanted to sell his car but was concerned he wouldn't get much for it due to the high mileage, he spoke to his friend Mickey who suggested winding the clock back, reducing the mileage, in the hope he could ask for more money.
A few days later p**... was talking to Mickey again, 'How'd you get on sellin the car p**...?' He asked his friend.
'I didn't sell it in the end' he said. 'Why not?' asked Mickey. 'Well I wound it back like you said, and when I'd finished sure there was only 12,000 miles on the clock, so I decided to keep it'
When my kids were toddler age anytime we went outside they would always tell me to put their shoes on for them.
Every single time my response was, "I can't put your shoes on. They don't fit me."
I would laugh, they would glare. It was good times. Hopefully some of you with toddlers get as much mileage out of this one as I did.
Three aboriginals in a car, who's the driver?
The police.
Also works with other minority races. Mileage may vary depending on audience.
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