Mikhail Jokes
5 mikhail jokes and hilarious mikhail puns to laugh out loud. Read jokes about mikhail that are clean and suitable for kids and friends.
Share These Mikhail Jokes With Friends
Mikhail Funny Jokes to Tell Your Friends and Kids.
What is a good mikhail joke to make people laugh? Check out this list of funny stories that will for sure put a smile on everyones mouth.
A joke from my grandfather
In a kindergarten classroom in Moscow in 1980:
Teacher: The Soviet Union is the heaven where you always have food to fill your stomach and your parents have a job and everyone is happy.
Student named Mikhail: Teacher I want to go to the Soviet Union.
"I accept your sacrifice."
Good news, if your name is Cain.
Bad news, if your name is Abraham.
Tremendous news, if your name is Mikhail Tal.
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
Mikhail Gorbachev started an anti-alcohol campaign in USSR in 1980s. People went crazy because of the restrictions on selling of alcohol. An old Soviet joke went like this:
A disaffected and angry citizen, fed up of standing in lines for v**..., decided to go assassinate Gorbachev. He soon came back and ruefully reported that the lines to assassinate Gorbachev were even longer than the lines for v**....
Who from the Soviet Union made the most in development of modern surgery?
Mikhail Timofeyevich Kalashnikov.
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
Mikhail Gorbachev wakes up late after a long night of worrying about the fate of the USSR over a bottle of v**....
He's so late, in fact, that he tells his slow-driving limo driver to get out of the car so he can drive himself to the Kremlin. He's speeding down the highway from his dacha into downtown Moscow when he blazes past a cop car on the side of the road.
The first cop says to his partner, "Man, that guy's moving. Let's drive after him and give him a ticket!"
The partner says, "I don't know, man, with a limo like that, he's probably someone really important."
The other copy says, "I don't care, you heard what the party boss said in our monthly meeting. No more special treatment for officials, and plus, the USSR needs all the money we can get if we want to defeat the capitalists."
So they speed off after the limo and pull it over. The partner gets out of the car, walks up to the limo, and quickly turns back after just a few words with the driver without issuing a ticket. When he gets back to the cop car, his partner says, "What was that? I thought we said no special breaks! Who could be so important that you didn't give them a ticket?"
"I don't know," said the other cop, "but his driver was Gorbachev!"
Share These Mikhail Jokes With Friends