Comical Puns & Laughs: Enjoy Fun, Witty Mike Tyson Jokes with Friends.
Today on greatest hits
Mike Tyson and Muhammad Ali.
What do "Jingle Bells" sung by Mike Tyson and a green and red g-string have in common?
They're both Christmith Thongs.
What is Mike Tyson's favorite thing for a woman to wear?
Thort thorts.
Why did Mike Tyson bring his calculator to church?
He was invited to thunday math.
What did Mike Tyson say when he saw Breaking Bad?
That's methed-up!
Why doesn't Mike Tyson play the Playstation?
Because he's an Xboxer.
Did you hear about the new Mike Tyson computer?
It has two bytes and no memory
What do you call Mike Tyson without any arms?
Whatever you want
what do Mike Tyson and outdoor patios have in common?
They're both roofless.
Did you hear the one about Mike Tyson, Lennox Lewis, George Foreman and Floyd Mayweather Jr in queue at the bank?
Punchline
Fee Fie Foe Fum
What is Fee Fie Foe Fum Fum Foe Fie Fee?
Mike Tyson's inmate number.
You can explore mike tyson ike reddit one liners, including funnies and gags. Read them and you will understand what jokes are funny? Those of you who have teens can tell them clean mike tyson jeff dad jokes. There are also mike tyson puns for kids, 5 year olds, boys and girls.
Mike Tyson is hosting a spelling bee
A contestant approaches the stage and Mike says, "the word is dictate"
The contestant thinks for a second, clearly pondering the spelling of the word. "Dictate... Mike, could you please use that in a sentence?"
Mike smoothly replies, "Well of course. When I was in prison, Maurice told me that my dictate good"
Mike Tyson fires a nuke at his maths teacher.
It was a weapon of math destruction.
I'm so sorry.
What happens if Mike Tyson carries around Mjölnir all day?
He gets thor arms!
Why couldn't Mike Tyson go to the laundromat?
Because it was clothed.
What is Mike Tyson's favorite mouthwash?
lisperine
"Alright Mike Tyson, to win $100,000 you need to name a fashion accessory and a place in Australia."
Mike Tyson: "That's easy. It's Perth!"
I met Mike Tyson and he had his tiger with him. I said, "Wow! I can't believe you actually have a tiger! I thought that was a myth."
He said, "Well you were mythtaken."
What was Mike Tyson's nickname in Prison?
Mr. Tyson
Mike Tyson refuses to play on any Playstation...
He is an Ex-Boxer.
Did you hear Mike Tyson was just arrested for nearly beating a Pizza Hut waitress to death?
As he was finishing eating, she asked "Hey, mister, you wanna box for the rest of your pizza?
Mike Tyson and the son of Odin got into a fight.
They're both thore today.
I swear if anyone makes fun of Mike Tyson...
I'll whoop their ath!
What did Mike Tyson say to Vincent van Gogh??
You gonna eat that?
What did Mike Tyson say when he saw mold?
That's growth.
What is Mike Tyson's favorite song?
Down With The Thickness.
What if Mike Tyson could use the Force?
He'd become a kith lord
What did Mike Tyson ask the really tired Norse god?
Are you Thor?
Mike Tyson caught experimenting with Methamphetamines...
He exclaims, "I was just mething around!"
What do you call Mike Tyson on drugs?
Methed Up
Neil Degrasse Tyson and Mike Tyson have something common...
I don't understand what either one is saying, but I know I'll end up seeing stars.
Why does Mike Tyson refuse to buy playstation ?
Because he is an x-boxer
What do you call Mike Tyson with no arms and no legs?
Anything you want.
Mike Tyson had something to tell me...
So I lent him an ear.
What is Mike Tyson's favorite type of math?
Mathturbating.
What did Mike Tyson say to the drug addicts who were playing tag in his front yard?
Quit mething around.
Why did Mike Tyson cross the road?
To get to the other thide
Mike Tyson was one of the best in his career.
Yet Bill Cosby still had more knockouts.
How did Mike Tyson open the door to alcoholism?
Withkey.
What song does Mike Tysons sing to himself as he's getting dressed in the morning?
Closing Time
Charlie Sheen and Mike Tyson are in a car. Who's driving?
The cop.
Why could no one believe in Mike Tyson's new boat?
Because it was unthinkable
Way before E-Books became popular...
...Mike Tyson was already an E-Reader
Wife: What is ethereal?!
Me: It's what Mike Tyson has big bowl of every morning!
Former champion Mike Tyson is opening a marijuana farm...
Now everyone can say they took a hit from Tyson!
Why did Mike Tyson walk out on his girlfriend?
Because she told him she wanted to become a thespian.
Mike Tyson recently recovered from a meth overdose and was interviewed upon his exit from the hospital.
When asked about the full story, he responded with,
"I was really methed up at the time"
What is Mike Tyson's favorite element?
None of your Bismuth
Mike Tyson learned you'll have hits and misses but...
...just don't hit the Mrs.
"I won a math debate"
Said Mike Tyson
Mike Tyson was arrested at a 5th grade sitting bee his first time judging
The word was Dictate.
[Spelling Bee Contestant] Can you use it in a sentence?
[Mike Tyson] She liked the way my Dictate
Why does Mike Tyson use an engineer's tape measure instead of a carpenter's tape measure?
Because he finds the experience much more in tenths.
What does Mike Tyson say after a good workout with the Avengers?
I'm Thor.
Why did Mike Tyson break up with his girlfriend?
EARreconcilable differenceth
Why doesn't Mike Tyson play Nintendo or PS4?
Because he's an xboxer.
Mike Tyson went to the hospital to say goodbye to his now dead friend...
He was distraught but as he regained his composure he noticed a doctor in the room with him.
Mike said, Doctor, please tell me, what was the cause of death?
The puzzled doctor responded, No Sir, this man hasn't lost his hearing. He's dead.
You're crouched over mike Tyson picking grass clippings off of his body
You're doing the kneel, de-grass Tyson.
How does Mike Tyson like his bath?
Grilled.
What do Mike Tyson and Jim Jones have in common?
They can both take you out with one punch.
What do you call Mike Tyson on amphetamines?
Methed Up.
Mike Tyson does one squat
Then the next day at work he always ends up calling in thicc.
'Everybody's a gangster until they get punched in the mouth.' - Mike Tyson
And after that, everybody's a gangthter.
Mike Tyson: How do you think the unthinkable?
Mike Tyson: With an itheberg.
How do you think the unthinkable ?
With an itheberg.
Btw.. every single person i've ever told this joke to said they didn't get it or that it wasn't funny.. why am I the weirdo that finds it funny? And why am I picturing Mike Tyson?
Obv not my joke I heard it on Come Dine With Me
How do you think the unthinkable?
Mike Tyson: With an ithberg .
What do Chris Hemsworth and Mike Tyson have in common after a workout?
They're both Thor.
Why did Mike Tyson have to cancel his big fight with Chris Hemsworth?
He was Thor.
Did you hear that Mike Tyson just got a job at Amazon?
He just really wanted to be a professional boxer again.
What does mike Tyson wear to the dentist?
A teeth hurt
I asked Mike Tyson who his favorite actor was and he said Colin Firth
And when I asked him who came after that he said "Colin Thecond".
What's Mike Tyson's locksmith called?
Keith
What did Mike Tyson say about the drug problem in Michigan?
This place is all methed up!
Mike Tyson said he was going to convert me to atheism
At least I'm pretty sure that's what he meant by "I'm gonna break your faith!"
Mike Tyson is SO religious
That he punches people in the faith.
What did Mike Tyson say when I showed him my mold collection?
Growth.
These holidays, Mike Tyson will be appearing at a shopping mall near you.
So keep an ear out for him.
Why does Mike Tyson cry during sex?
He's got mace in his eyes.
What does Mike Tyson do when his boat has a big hole in it?
First he thinks for a while.. then he dethides to thwim.
Mike Tyson gets really upset if you talk to him about Norse mythology.
It's a Thor subject.
Mike Tyson starts a club to dispute the fundamental rules of mathematics
He names it: The Math Debate Club
There was a lot of confusion in their first meeting.
What can't Mike Tyson peel oranges?
He gets pithed off.
If I were to become a drug dealer, I'd partner up with Mike Tyson.
That guy can really make a meth.
What did Mike Tyson say to the Mind Flayers who tried to recruit him on their ship?
I won't be a part of your illithid activities.
I've found religion after meeting Mike Tyson
Dude hit me right in the faith.
Muhammad Ali, Mike Tyson, and Floyd Mayweather are waiting patiently for a glass of sangria.
If that's not a good punchline, I don't know what is.
What does Mike Tyson, after he's finished baking, have in common with Walter White?
A methy kitchen.
Why did Mike Tyson hire the Devil as his weight loss trainer?
He said he wanted to be a little thinner.
