The Best 40 Mike Pence Jokes

Following is our collection of funny Mike Pence jokes. There are some mike pence enthusiastically jokes no one knows (to tell your friends) and to make you laugh out loud.

Take your time to read those puns and riddles where you ask a question with answers, or where the setup is the punchline. We hope you will find these mike pence mike vick puns funny enough to tell and make people laugh.

Top 10 of the Funniest Mike Pence Jokes and Puns

Donald Trump just announced Mike Pence to be his Running Mate.

If Hillary wants to one up Trump in that regard, her running mate should be Mike Tuppence.

Mike Pence doesn't believe in science

But he wants to use electricity to turn fruits into vegetables

Whats Mike Pence's favourite movie

Electric boogaloo

Mike Pence joke, Whats Mike Pence's favourite movie

Why is Mike Pence magic?

He can turn fruits to vegetables

People are really upset about how the cast of Hamilton treated Mike Pence.

I mean, the last time people were this upset about something an actor did to a Republican in a theater, the Civil War had just ended.


Donald Trump and Mike Pence are on a plane...

Suddenly Mike Pence says "I can throw 100 dollars out of the plane and make 100 people happy".

Donald says "I can throw 1000 dollars out of the plane and make 1000 people happy".

The pilot over heard this and said, "I can throw both of you out of this plane and make the whole country happy."

Trump walks into the Oval office, turns to his administrative team and says, I want to organise the deportation of 10,000 Muslims and one kitten.

Everyone looks around the table and, after a long silence, Mike Pence says. Mr. President, why do you want to deport a kitten? Trump smiles and turns to the rest of the table. You see, no one cares about the Muslims.

Mike Pence joke, Trump walks into the Oval office, turns to his administrative team and says,  I want to organise the

So it turns out Mike Pence used a private email server. When questioned he denied, saying he doesn't even use email.

Alternative Fax

Who is Mike Pence's favorite comic book character?

Electro

Donald Trump and Mike Pence are running around the White House…

After they finish their lap they check their stopwatch which says 10:38,Mike Pence asks if thats a white house record, Trump says no Bush did 9:11

Mike Pence is Emperor Palpatine

Both are old men, heads of the Senate, and like to shock people.

You can explore mike pence sean reddit one liners, including funnies and gags. Read them and you will understand what jokes are funny? Those of you who have teens can tell them clean mike pence xxl dad jokes. There are also mike pence puns for kids, 5 year olds, boys and girls.


Where is the best place to hide from Mike Pence,

The closet.

i'm not german, but this is a little jokie joke

Overheard at the White House:

Trump to Vice-President Mike Pence: "the less immigrants we let in the better."

Pence to trump: "The FEWER.."

Trump interrupts Pence and says: "don't call me that in public".

Who had the easiest path to the presidency of the United States?

Mike Pence

What species is Mike Pence?

No-homo sapiens.

Long Range Sniper Rifle: $5,000. Hiring an assassin: $10,000.

Having Mike Pence assassinated? Viceless.

Mike Pence joke, Long Range Sniper Rifle: $5,000. Hiring an assassin: $10,000.

What's Mike Pence's Favorite Band?

AC/DC

Today I learned Mike Pence is going to push to administer electro-zap "therapy" to the gay community.

As a gay republican who voted for Trump, this came as a huge shock.

Mike Pence is at the dinner table with his family...

His son, who has been very quiet, tells him "Dad, this might come as a shock, but I think I'm gay."

Pence laughs and says "Son, you're getting it all mixed up! I'm not the one getting shocked!"


Did you see Mike Pence left the Colts game because the players knelt for the national anthem?

He was quoted as saying "I won't stand for this" on the way out

Mike Pence

Mike Pence secretly favors marijuana legalization.

I mean, how else would he stone the gays?

Donald Trump says to Mike Pence, "The less immigrants we allow in, the better."

Pence says, "The fewer".

Trump says, "I told you not to call me that yet."

Mike Pence Walks Into a Bar

He walks up to a group of women and says, "Hey ladies, wanna get out of here?"

The girls look befuddled. One of them says "Excuse me Mr. Pence, as vice president and as a married man, isn't it inappropriate to hit on a group of women like this?"

To which Pence replied "I wasn't hitting on you. Either you go or I'm not allowed to stay."

A buzzfeed journalist whispers something to Mike Pence at a press conference

...what happens next will shock you.

Donald Trump's lawyer walks into a bar…

... And sits down next to Trump.

He says, "I'm sorry but I can't really help you. You're looking at life in prison for treason."

Frustrated, Trump pays the bartender and storms out. On his way out he accidentally bumps into Mike Pence.

He says to Pence, "Pardon me."

What's Mike Pence's favourite Olympic sport?

Trap shooting.

Why does Mike Pence keep all of his clothes in drawers?

Because he can't stand anything coming out of the closet.

Michelle Wolf's Best Joke at the Correspondents' Dinner

Mike Pence is what happens when Anderson Cooper isn't gay.

Trump wakes up, goes to the garden and starts picking up random rocks...

He picks a rock, carefuly examines it from from all sides, carefully puts it back and then goes to find another one. After this has been going on for a couple of days, his cabinet starts to get nervous, so Pence calls Putin to see if he can help them.

"Hey Vlad! It's Mike. Listen, we have a little problem..."

He describes the situation and Putin promises to look into it. After a few minutes Putin calls back.

"He should be fine now. It was our fault, sorry. We accidetnally sent him instructions meant for our lunar lander."

Mike Pence walks into the Oval Office and sees Trump whooping and hollering.

"What's the matter, Mr. President?" The Vice President inquired.

"Nothing at all, boss. I just finished a jigsaw puzzle in record time!" The President beamed.

"How long did it take you?"

"Well, the box said '3 to 5 Years' but I did it in a month!"

What do you call 25 Mike Pence clones in a room with Donald Trump?

... Quarter pounder with cheese.

(Think British currency here)

Mike Pence and conservative doctors in Indiana announced a miracle pill to cure homosexuality

Only one problem. It's an 8-inch long suppository.

What do Mike Pence and Santa Claus have in common?

You won't see either of them until the 25th

Jacinda Ardern wasn't the first person to bring their baby to the U.N

Mike Pence brought his first.

MRW Mike Pence is acting suspicious and then shoots me

The sus-pence is killing me

Why is Mike Pence so good at poker?

He only gets straights.

Abortion bill

Trump is sitting in the oval office when mike pence walks in. Pence says, here's the abortion bill you just need to sign it Mr. President

Trump replies "I thought Michael cohen paid for that"

A Washington hooker gets a tattoo of Mike Pence on one inner thigh and one of Bill Barr on the other ...

Then when she gets a customer, she says, "If you can name both of them, I'll give you one for free."

Customer replies, "Hmm, I don't know about those two, but the one in the middle is Mitch McConnell."

Mike Pence walks into the doctor's office with a fly on his head

The doc asks: What the hell happened to you?
The fly says: I think, I stepped into something.

Trump looks out on the snow covered White House Lawn, and notices that someone has pissed Trump Sucks in the fresh snow.

Furious, he demands the Secret Service investigate. A few days later, the head of the SS says Mr President, I've got good news and bad news. The good news is we've done a dna test on the urine, and found the culprit. It turns out it's Mike Pence's. That traitor , shouts Trump. I'll have him hanged! Now, what did you say was the bad news? Well , says the SS chief, turns out it's Melania's handwriting .

Just think that there are jokes based on truth that can bring down governments, or jokes which make girl laugh. Many of the mike pence mike ditka jokes and puns are jokes supposed to be funny, but some can be offensive. When jokes go too far, are mean or racist, we try to silence them and it will be great if you give us feedback every time when a joke become bullying and inappropriate.

We suggest to use only working mike pence mike hunt piadas for adults and blagues for friends. Some of the dirty witze and dark jokes are funny, but use them with caution in real life. Try to remember funny jokes you've never heard to tell your friends and will make you laugh.

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