Mike Pence Jokes
56 mike pence jokes and hilarious mike pence puns to laugh out loud. Read jokes about mike pence that are clean and suitable for kids and friends.
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Funniest Mike Pence Short Jokes
Short mike pence jokes and puns are one of the best ways to have fun with word play in English. The mike pence humour may include short pence jokes also.
- Donald Trump says to Mike Pence, "The less immigrants we allow in, the better." Pence says, "The fewer".
Trump says, "I told you not to call me that yet." - Mike Pence doesn't believe in science But he wants to use electricity to turn fruits into vegetables
- Did you see Mike Pence left the Colts game because the players knelt for the national anthem? He was quoted as saying "I won't stand for this" on the way out
- Why does Mike Pence keep all of his clothes in drawer? Because he can't stand anything coming out of the closet.
- So it turns out Mike Pence used a private email server. When questioned he denied, saying he doesn't even use email. Alternative Fax
- A buzzfeed journalist whispers something to Mike Pence at a press conference ...what happens next will shock you.
- Mike Pence is Emperor Palpatine Both are old men, heads of the Senate, and like to shock people.
- Today I learned Mike Pence is going to push to administer electro-zap "therapy" to the gay community. As a gay republican who voted for Trump, this came as a huge shock.
- Donald Trump just announced Mike Pence to be his Running Mate. If Hillary wants to one up Trump in that regard, her running mate should be Mike Tuppence.
- Jacinda Ardern wasn't the first person to bring their baby to the U.N Mike Pence brought his first.
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Mike Pence One Liners
Which mike pence one liners are funny enough to crack down and make fun with mike pence? I can suggest the ones about mike and vice president.
- Where is the best place to hide from Mike Pence, The closet.
- Why is Mike Pence magic? He can turn fruits to vegetables
- What's Mike Pence's favourite Olympic sport? Trap shooting.
- What's Mike Pence's Favorite Band? AC/DC
- Who had the easiest path to the presidency of the United States? Mike Pence
- Who is Mike Pence's favorite comic book character? Electro
- Whats Mike Pence's favourite movie Electric boogaloo
- Why is Mike Pence so good at poker? He only gets straights.
- MRW Mike Pence is acting suspicious and then shoots me The sus-pence is killing me
- How does Mike Pence like his steak? Well-done.
- Mike Pence is being chased through a Carson City neighborhood by an angry madam.
- Mike Pence left the Olympics early... He found out that biathletes were being celebrated
- What was Mike Pence's favorite childhood show? Cisformers
- If I were into guys, they'd call me Mike Pence. I turn gay guys straight.
- What is Mike Pence's favorite flavor of Gatorade? Fruit punch
Cheeky Mike Pence Jokes to Experience Good Cheer & Frivolity
What funny jokes about mike pence you can tell and make people laugh? An example I can give is a clean mike tyson jokes that will for sure put a smile on everyones mouth and help you make mike pence pranks.
People are really upset about how the cast of Hamilton treated Mike Pence.
I mean, the last time people were this upset about something an actor did to a Republican in a theater, the Civil War had just ended.
Donald Trump and Mike Pence are on a plane...
Suddenly Mike Pence says "I can throw 100 dollars out of the plane and make 100 people happy".
Donald says "I can throw 1000 dollars out of the plane and make 1000 people happy".
The pilot over heard this and said, "I can throw both of you out of this plane and make the whole country happy."
Trump walks into the Oval office, turns to his administrative team and says, I want to organise the deportation of 10,000 Muslims and one kitten.
Everyone looks around the table and, after a long silence, Mike Pence says. Mr. President, why do you want to deport a kitten? Trump smiles and turns to the rest of the table. You see, no one cares about the Muslims.
Donald Trump and Mike Pence are running around the White House…
After they finish their lap they check their stopwatch which says 10:38,Mike Pence asks if thats a white house record, Trump says no Bush did 9:11
i'm not german, but this is a little jokie joke
Overheard at the White House:
Trump to Vice-President Mike Pence: "the less immigrants we let in the better."
Pence to trump: "The FEWER.."
Trump interrupts Pence and says: "don't call me that in public".
What species is Mike Pence?
No-h**... sapiens.
Long Range s**... Rifle: $5,000. Hiring an assassin: $10,000.
Having Mike Pence assassinated? Viceless.
Mike Pence is at the dinner table with his family...
His son, who has been very quiet, tells him "Dad, this might come as a shock, but I think I'm gay."
Pence laughs and says "Son, you're getting it all mixed up! I'm not the one getting shocked!"
Mike Pence Walks Into a Bar
He walks up to a group of women and says, "Hey ladies, wanna get out of here?"
The girls look befuddled. One of them says "Excuse me Mr. Pence, as vice president and as a married man, isn't it inappropriate to hit on a group of women like this?"
To which Pence replied "I wasn't hitting on you. Either you go or I'm not allowed to stay."
Donald Trump's lawyer walks into a bar…
... And sits down next to Trump.
He says, "I'm sorry but I can't really help you. You're looking at life in prison for treason."
Frustrated, Trump pays the bartender and storms out. On his way out he accidentally bumps into Mike Pence.
He says to Pence, "Pardon me."
Michelle Wolf's Best Joke at the Correspondents' Dinner
Mike Pence is what happens when Anderson Cooper isn't gay.
Trump wakes up, goes to the garden and starts picking up random rocks...
He picks a rock, carefuly examines it from from all sides, carefully puts it back and then goes to find another one. After this has been going on for a couple of days, his cabinet starts to get nervous, so Pence calls Putin to see if he can help them.
"Hey Vlad! It's Mike. Listen, we have a little problem..."
He describes the situation and Putin promises to look into it. After a few minutes Putin calls back.
"He should be fine now. It was our fault, sorry. We accidetnally sent him instructions meant for our lunar lander."
Mike Pence walks into the Oval Office and sees Trump whooping and hollering.
"What's the matter, Mr. President?" The Vice President inquired.
"Nothing at all, boss. I just finished a jigsaw puzzle in record time!" The President beamed.
"How long did it take you?"
"Well, the box said '3 to 5 Years' but I did it in a month!"
Mike Pence and conservative doctors in Indiana announced a miracle pill to cure homosexuality
Only one problem. It's an 8-inch long suppository.
What do Mike Pence and Santa Claus have in common?
You won't see either of them until the 25th
Abortion bill
Trump is sitting in the oval office when mike pence walks in. Pence says, here's the abortion bill you just need to sign it Mr. President
Trump replies "I thought Michael cohen paid for that"
A Washington h**... gets a tattoo of Mike Pence on one inner thigh and one of Bill Barr on the other ...
Then when she gets a customer, she says, "If you can name both of them, I'll give you one for free."
Customer replies, "Hmm, I don't know about those two, but the one in the middle is Mitch McConnell."
Mike Pence and Donald Trump walk into a steakhousehouse...
After a long night of campaigning in Nebraska Donald Trump and Mike Pence end up at Outback Steakhouse, where they are seated alone.
The waiter approaches with pen and pad, and asks "What can I get for you gentlemen tonight?"
"I'll take the New York s**..., well done. Can't stand the sight of blood." Replies Donald Trump.
"Very good sir. What kind of dressing would you like on your salad?"
"Ranch, the greatest American dressing." Trump says confidently.
"Good choice Mr President. And for the potato?"
"Oh, he'll have a well done New York s**..., too".
Mike Pence walks into the doctor's office with a fly on his head
The doc asks: What the h**... happened to you?
The fly says: I think, I stepped into something.
Trump looks out on the snow covered White House Lawn, and notices that someone has p**... Trump s**... in the fresh snow.
Furious, he demands the Secret Service investigate. A few days later, the head of the SS says Mr President, I've got good news and bad news. The good news is we've done a dna test on the u**..., and found the culprit. It turns out it's Mike Pence's. That traitor , shouts Trump. I'll have him hanged! Now, what did you say was the bad news? Well , says the SS chief, turns out it's Melania's handwriting .
A certain TV station was a hosting a contest and I happened to be the first caller
The host said, "Congratulations on being our first caller, all you have to do is answer the following question correctly, to win our grand prize."
"That's fantastic!" I shouted in delight.
"Feel confident?" she asked. "It's a basic maths question."
"Well, I've got a master's in mathematics" I proudly replied.
"Ok then, to win our grand prize of 2 front row seats for Donald Trump's speech and to meet him back stage, followed by dinner with Mike Pence....
What is 2+2?"
I replied, "767.37"
Trump and Mike Pence are at a Covid press briefing.
Trump and Mike Pence are at a Covid press briefing.
Trump: We have the most cases because we have the most tests. If we tested less, we'd have less cases.
Pence: Fewer.
Trump: Mike, I told you not to call me that in public.
