Mighty Jokes
60 mighty jokes and hilarious mighty puns to laugh out loud. Read jokes about mighty that are clean and suitable for kids and friends.
Are you ready for a powerful dose of humor? Enjoy Mighty Jokes, which feature hilarious one-liners from the likes of the Mighty Ducks, Mighty Mouse, Mightier, and Powerhouse Steed. These jokes will make you chuckle and laugh, so get ready for a mighty good time!
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Funniest Mighty Short Jokes
Short mighty jokes and puns are one of the best ways to have fun with word play in English. The mighty humour may include short worthy jokes also.
- I live in North Korea and I'm ready to tell the world what it's really like! [Edit]: The sun shines brightly on our smiles and future as our glorious leaders bring us joy with their mighty military.
- Thor, upon his mighty steed, approaches his enemy, Thanos. Thanos asks "Who might you be?" "I AM THORRRR!!!"
His horse perks up and says "Well, then wear a thaddle thilly." - Did you hear about the herculean female elder at the prison? The mighty old con Andrea is the powerhouse of the cellblock
- A fully loaded tractor-trailer carrying 80,000 pounds of Tylenol skidded off an icy bridge, and ended up in the mighty Mississippi. ...Resulting in river failure.
- My friends left me because they think I'm addicted to onomatopoeia. With a mighty WHOOSH and a BANG, they stormed out of my front door!
- People who don't own televisions. I'll never understand people acting all high and mighty because they don't watch tv. We get it, you're poor.
- Do you know what a pirates favorite letter is? Rrrrrr is mighty fined but it's the Cccccc they truly love.
- Mickey Mouse discovered the hard way Minnie Mouse liked superheroes. She was having an affair with Mighty Mouse.
- Ultimately, even the mighty invincible Achilles was killed with a bowshot to his foot. Time wounds all heels
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Mighty One Liners
Which mighty one liners are funny enough to crack down and make fun with mighty? I can suggest the ones about huge and evil.
- Batman, but it's a Japanese action film Mighty Orphan Power Ranger
- Checked into a hotel expecting one night stand but there were 2! Mighty pleased.
- What do you call a strong and indecisive person? Mighty!
- Winter is coming The snow is just one mighty fat nut
- If Valve had an nhl team... would that be the Mighty VAC's?
- What do the North Koreans say when tgey see Kim Jong Un? Hail mighty shitperor.
- What do the Mighty Ducks and the Wicked Witch of the West have in common? A flying V.
- In the jungle, the mighty jungle. Cecil sleeps forever.
- Brother's acting all high and mighty now that he has COVID Thinks his s**... don't stink
- I can't stand bodybuilders who smoke w**.... They always act so high and mighty.
- What do you call a giant that smokes w**... all day? High and mighty.
- Germans must really not like mighty number 9 They tend to shout nine when they're mad
Amusing Mighty Jokes to Make You Laugh with Friends
What funny jokes about mighty you can tell and make people laugh? An example I can give is a clean monster jokes that will for sure put a smile on everyones mouth and help you make mighty pranks.
A farm boy accidentally overturned his wagon load of corn.
The farmer who lived nearby heard the noise and yelled over to the boy, "Hey Willis forget your troubles. Come in and visit with us. I'll help you get the wagon up later."
"That's mighty nice of you," Willis answered, "but I don't think Pa would like me to."
"Aw come on boy," the farmer insisted.
"Well okay," the boy finally agreed, and added, "but Pa won't like it."
After a hearty dinner, Willis thanked his host. "I feel a lot better now, but I know Pa is going to be real upset."
"Don't be foolish!" the neighbor said with a smile. "By the way, where is he?"
"Under the wagon."
A TV reporter and his cameraman are filming some lions in the Sahara desert,
when suddenly the wind changes and the male picks up their scent. With a mighty roar the ferocious beast starts bounding towards them! Shocked and crying for help the reporter turns towards the cameraman, who had dropped the camera and was lacing up his shoes. Dumbfounded the reporter asks him: "What are you doing? You wont outrun a lion!" So the cameraman replies: "I may not be able to outrun him, but I only need to outrun you!"
A golfer and heaven
A golfer teed up his ball on the first tee, took a mighty swing and hit his ball into a clump of trees.
He found his ball and saw an opening between 2 trees he thought he could hit through.
Taking out his 3-wood, he took a mighty swing. The ball hit a tree, bounced back, hit him in the forehead and killed him.
As he approached the gates of Heaven, St. Peter asked, "Are you a good golfer?"
The man replied: "Got here in two, didn't I?
My friend told me this joke
It seems a young farm boy accidentally overturned his wagon load of corn. The farmer who lived nearby heard the noise. "Hey Willis!!" the farmer yelled. "Forget your troubles. Come in and eat dinner with us. Then I'll help you get the wagon back up." "That's mighty nice of you," Willis answered, "but I don't think Pa would like me to."
"Nonsense, come on!" the farmer insisted. "Well, okay," the boy finally agreed, "but Pa won't like it."
After a hearty dinner, Willis thanked his host. "I feel a lot better now, but I know Pa is going to be real upset."
"Don't be foolish!" the neighbor said with a smile. "By the way, where is your Pa?"
"Under the wagon."
Anthill Golfing
Once there was a golfer whose drive landed on an anthill. Rather than move the ball, he decided to hit it where it lay. He gave a mighty swing. Clouds of dirt and sand and ants exploded from the spot. Everything but the golfball. It sat in the same spot.
So he lined up and tried another shot. Clouds of dirt and sand and ants went flying again. The golf ball didn't even wiggle.
Two ants survived. One dazed ant said to the other, "Whoa! What are we going to do?"
Said the other ant: "I don't know about you, but I'm going to get on the ball."
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
Thor
The god of thunder is riding through the sky on his mighty stallion. With lightning crashing all around, he triumphantly screams, "I'M THOR!" His horse looks up and says, "Of courthe you are, you forgot your thaddle thilly!"
Soiled Pirate
There once was a noble Pirate who had a very mighty crew.
One day, they spotted an enemy ship coming towards them when they were sailing.
The Pirate said "YOU! Go get me red shirt!"
So the young and rising Pirate did as the captain had said.
Then a fierce battle took place between the two ships, with the red-shirted Pirate and his crew standing tall.
Then one Pirate asked the captain "Sir, why do ye always wear a red shirt into battle?"
The captain replied "Because if I get shot the blood will not show and will not scare the courage out of me crew."
Days passed. Then one morning a young Pirate shouted from the top of the mast "SIR! 7 ENEMY SHIPS ON THE HORIZON!"
The captain then turned to another young, rising Pirate and said:
"Aye, go fetch me red shirt... and me brown pants too..."
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
An old veteran is sitting in a bar
A p**... looking for work approaches him. "Say old man, when was the last time you had s**...?"
The man responds "That must have been around 1958"
"1958?" exclaims the p**... "that's a mighty long time you haven't slept with a woman!"
"Is it?" replies the man, and looks at his watch "it's hardly 2045 right now!"
A caring son
It seems a farm boy accidentally overturned his wagon load of corn.
The farmer who lived nearby heard the noise. "Hey Willis!! " the farmer yelled. "Forget your troubles. Come in with us. Then I'll help you get the wagon up. "
"That's mighty nice of you, " Willis answered, "but I don't think Pa would like me to. "
"Aw, come on," the farmer insisted.
"Well okay," the boy finally agreed, and added, "But Pa won't like it. "
After a hearty dinner, Willis thanked his host. "I feel a lot better now, but I know Pa is going to be real upset. "
"Don't be foolish! " the neighbor said with a smile. "By the way, where is he? "
"Under the wagon. "
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
A priest and Bob goes to golfing..
Everytime Bob misses, he cries "g**..., I missed!"
This disturbs the priest and tells Bob not to use God's name for something so tiny. But still, Bob misses and cries "g**..., I missed!" Priest gets angry and thinks of a plan to stop Bob. He thinks praying to God is the best choice. So he prays :"Oh, mighty god! Stop Bob's idioticy and punish him!" As he says that, a lighthing comes from above and kills the priest. Bob is shocked hears a sound from above so he looks up. "g**..., I missed!"
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
Gosa, the village idiot
Gosa, the village idiot, is walking along the banks of the Nile when Abdullah sees him and calls across from the other side
'Gosa, the Nile is wide and mighty, and the nearest crossing is miles away, how did you get to the other side?'
Gosa, with a smile on his face, replies
'But my dear friend Abdullah, you ARE on the other side!'
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
An Australian joke
Dave returned to Snake Gully after a brief trip to Europe. Dad said, 'Reckon you saw a lot of mighty fine things in that Europe.'
'Sure did, Dad. Cathedrals, palaces, mansions. But what impressed me most were the dunnies. They sure have got terrific dunnies. And they all flush.'
'Well, son,' said Dad, 'reckon you ought to build yourself one of those posh dunnies. But you'll have to get rid of the old s**... first."
'Nothing to it, Dad.' Dave took out a hand grenade that he happened to have on him, pulled out the pin and threw it at the s**....
Dad's a slow thinker and a slow mover. After a while he said, 'I don't reckon you should have done that, son.'
Out of the debris staggered Mum. She lurched up to Dad and said, 'Reckon it must have been something i ate.'
When I heard Al Sharpton and Jesse Jackson
were guest preachers at a nearby
black Houston Church, I decided to check them out in person and see what it
was all about.
I sat down and Sharpton came up to me, I don't know why, maybe it was
because I was the only white person in the Church.
He laid his hands on my hand and said: By the will of Jesus the Lord All
Mighty, and the will of God, you will walk today.
I told him I was not paralyzed.
Then Jesse Jackson came by and said: By the Grace of God, and his Son
Jesus, the Lord All Mighty, you will walk today.
Again I told him there is nothing wrong with me.
After the sermon I stepped outside and Lo and Behold, my frickin car had
been stolen…
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
Thor
Thor goes out for a ride on his mighty war horse.
He rides all morning and afternoon until as the sun sets he is sat on the top of the highest mountain overlooking his entire domain.
He stands up on the horse and shouts "I AM THOR" and as his voice echoes through the valleys his horse replies:
"That's because you forgot your thaddle thilly"
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
My Wife won't like it
One day I accidentally overturned my golf buggy.
Elizabeth, a very attractive and keen golfer, who lived in a villa on the golf course, heard the noise and called out, Are you okay, what's your name?"
"Its Jack , and I'm Okay thanks," I replied.
"Jack , forget your troubles. Come to my villa, rest a while, and I'll help you get the cart up later."
"That's mighty nice of you," I answered, but I don't think my wife would like it."
"Oh, come on," Elizabeth insisted.
She was very pretty, very s**... and persuasive... I was weak.
"Well okay," I finally agreed, and added, "but my wife won't like it."
After a restorative brandy, and some creative putting lessons, I thanked my host. "I feel a lot better now, but I know my wife is going to be really upset."
"Don't be silly! Elizabeth said with a smile, She won't know anything. By the way, where is she?"
"Under the cart!"
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
A cowboy is walking n**... down main street...
and the sheriff came driving by and saw him. BWOOP BWOOP! He pulls over and talks to him.
"Son, why are you n**... in the middle of town?"
The cowboy chuckles and says "Well, it's a long story."
"There is a n**... cowboy on main street in my town. I got time for a long story, let's hear it."
"Alright, so I was throwin' hay in my barn when a pretty little blonde lady comes in and says 'It's mighty hot in here, why don't you take your shirt off?' I did and she did the same, and I didn't mind. Then she says 'why don't ya set down and take your boots off?' I do and she set down beside me. Then she says 'why don't ya take them pants off?' I do and she does the same. Then she looks at me and says 'now go to town.' So here I am!"
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
What do you call it when you smoke w**... and work out at the same time?
Getting all high and mighty
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
The mighty god rode his valiand steed atop the highest mountain..
... raised his hammer high, and declared ''I am Thor!''. To which his horse replied: ''Because you forgot your thaddle, thilly.''
After Ash Ketchum catches them all
in Kanto region, they were really happy for him! So when they wanted to reward him for his mighty success, they decided to build a mall for him. They called it
Ketchum Mall.
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
Thor
Thor is riding on the back of his mighty war horse. He shouts "I AM THOR! I AM THOR!" His horse replies: "That's because you forgot your thaddle thilly!"
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
I was recently diagnosed with Alzheimer's and Cancer
The cancer s**..., but at least I don't have Alzheimer's!
Wait
No
I do
I can feel the edges of my mind unraveling; each piece, once so firmly put together, slowly falling away from my grasp. To know that the mind, the seat of who you are, can simply... disintegrate, like a mighty sandcastle in the tide...
Well, at least I don't have cancer.
Bill Clinton and his razorbacks...
Bill Clinton steps off a plane with two Arkansas razorbacks under each arm and then is greeted by a Marine who is saluting him. Bill tells the Marine "Son I would salute you but as you can see I got my hands full with these succulent hogs. I got one here for Hillary and one here for Chelsea." The Marine replies "A mighty fine trade, sir!"
edit - loving how the "alt-left" has come out of the woodworks on this one. Was just testing the waters. And the verdict...a lot(85%) of you have a quality sense of humor. You're alright.
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
My uncle once told me to go to the basement and get n**...,
I asked him whether he wanted Mighty Mango or berry Blast.
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
An old pirate with a peg leg, a hook for a hand and an eye patch walks into a bar
The bartender says:
Whoa, that's quite a get up you got there! Tell me how you got that peg leg.
The pirate explains:
Yarr! Ah lost me leg in a mighty battle with the toyal navy!
The bartender asks:
Wow, how about the hand?
Pirate:
'twas me old nemesis Racham the Red cut it off afore I scewerd 'im like a sow at a buffet!
Bartender:
Wow, that's quite a story! How'd you end up with the eye patch?
Pirate:
Seagull s**... in me eye...
Bartender:
A seagull s**... in your eye? Really? How bad could that be?
Pirate:
Arr... 'twas the first day with me new hook...
A tiny guy applies for a job as a lumberjack.
Sorry, says the head lumberjack, eyeing the man up and down. You're just too small.
Give me a chance to show you what I can do, the guy pleads. You won't regret it.
O.K., says the boss. See that giant oak over there? Let's see you chop it down.
Half an hour later, the mighty oak is felled, amazing the boss.
Where'd you learn to cut trees like that? he asks.
The Sahara Forest. said the man.
Don't you mean the Sahara Desert?
It wasn't called that when I was there..
There was a man who loved to strangle people for money.
He was offering people a fair price in gold for them to be strangled by his mighty hands, and as a request, he asked his customers to write a review of his work. And all the reviews said:
Thanks for the gold, kind strangler!
A HTML developer was walking down the street when he was greeted by a donkey.
"Hello Mr Programmer", the donkey said, "how are you?".
"mighty fine, thank you donkey", the HTML dev replied.
Immediately the donkey started crying.
"What's the matter little friend?" the HTML dev asked.
"I called you a programmer, at least you could call me horse" the donkey bawled.
