Midlife crisis
They were having a mid-life crisis.
It was having a mid-life crisis.
He was having a midlife crisis
They hit a midlife crisis
Midlife crisis
Midlife Crisis.
They prefer the term "mid-life crisis"
It was having a midlife crisis
He was having a midlife crisis.
It was having its mid-life crisis.
It was having a mid-life crisis.
He was having a mid-life crisis.
It's having a midlife crisis
He was having a midlife crisis.
He was going through a midlife crisis.
He's having a mid-life crisis
This Middle aged man was going through his mid-life crisis so he went out and bought him a new bright red BMW. So he decided to take his new BMW on a test drive down the interstate one day.
He got up to about 85 mph and all of a sudden he saw this highway patrolman with his blue lights and siren blaring coming toward him. He decided he and his new BMW would outrun the officer. So the man sped up to 95 mph,and then to 105 mph, but the patrolman was still coming.
The man finally came to his senses and said to himself, "This is crazy, I could go to jail for this," so he pulled over.
The patrolman came to the car and told the man, "It has been a long day and I am tired. If you can give me an excuse no one else has ever given me I will let you go."
So the man told the officer, "Last night my wife ran off with a patrolman and when I seen you chasing me I thought you were trying to bring her back."
The officer looked at the man and said, "Have a nice day."
He was having a midlife crisis
Midlife crisis.
He was having a midlife crisis.
He was going through a midlife crisis
Take this guy, Bob. He's coming into his early 40s, and goes into a midlife crisis. He tells his wife he wants to go back to school and study all the stuff he never got to when he was working so hard as a kid. She's fully supportive, feeling there are worse things he could be doing in this phase of his life, and they get him enrolled at a local university.
Bob starts taking random bullshit classes. His first semester he takes Archaeology 101, Sociology 102, and his favorite, Philosophy 112: History of early modern philosophy. He starts learning about all the great thinkers who laid the groundwork for all of our thinking today, and he just falls in love with it. Doesn't care he's surrounded by 18 year olds for six hours a week, he just dives right in.
One day, his buddy Jim calls him up to talk. Jim's also going through a midlife crisis. He's doing a much more destructive path, however. He calls Bob up and tells him he knows of an excellent escort service. He says they should take a "business trip," have a little fun, the wife doesn't need to know.
Bob thinks about it, and says, "No, I've got a huge philosophy paper due in a couple days and I should work on that."
Jim looks at him like he's insane, calls him a prude, and storms away. But Bob is confident.
Bob knows that sometimes, it's good to put Descartes before the whores.
Mid-Life Crisis
Mid-life crisis
She's really nervous the night of the final, so she studies real hard and hopes for the best.
When the grades are posted, she freaks out because her grade says 150% and she assumes it was an error, so she goes to see the instructor.
He explains it's no error.
"You took apart the engine perfectly, every nut, every bolt. You pulled it all apart without breaking anything. That got you 50%
Then you put it all back together perfectly. It actually ran better than before you started, so I gave you 50% for that.
You got a bonus 50% for doing it all through the muffler."
He had a midlife crisis.
After work one day he decides to go hunting to prove his manhood. He drives down the highway and sees a sign "Bear Hunting Season Now Open". Decides bear hunting is the manliest of hunting. Drives into a hunting store and buys a shotgun. Runs into the forest and starts looking for a bear. Spots a bear, aims his shotgun and shoots. Runs up to see his manly kill but nothing there. TAP TAP on shoulder and the bear is standing there and says: you got 2 options, 1 I kill you or 2 you let me fuck you bear style. Guy looks at the bear and says: fuck, shit, come on...ok #2. Bear unleashes a major ass fucking. Guy crawls back to hunting store and says I need a bigger gun. He buys a 10gauge elephant killer gun and runs in to the forest. Sees the bear, aims and shoots. Runs to check and TAP TAP. He turns and bear looks at him and says: you got 2 options, 1 I kill you or 2 you let me fuck you bear style. Guy looks at the bear and says: fuck, shit, not again...ok #2. Bear unleashes a major ass fucking. Guy crawls back to hunting store and says I need a bigger gun and buys the rocket launcher. Runs back to the forest, spots the bear, aims and shoots. Runs to see and TAP, TAP. Guy turns to see the bear and the bear says: Be honest, you didn't come for the hunting
Midlife crisis
Because he was having a mid-life crisis
The mid-life crisis.
They have to go through puberty and their mid-life crisis at the same time.
Midlife crisis.
Because he was having his mid-life crisis.
A midlife crisis
He was having a midlife crisis.
He was having his midlife crisis.
Midlife crisis.
Doctor: how old is he?
Parents:one
Doctor:is he vaccinated?
Parents:no, why?
Doctor:I'm afraid he's having a midlife crisis...
He was having a midlife crisis.
Midlife crisis
Because he wasn't vaccinated.
Don't we all do that during a midlife crisis?
He was facing a mid-life crisis
A mid-life crisis
A midlife crisis.
He was having a midlife crisis!
Must have been a midlife crisis.
A midlife crisis.
I met the greatest girl at work, and she was into me, too. When we got off of work I took her to the park, we got carryout and went back to my place, and we were having a blast watching Netflix together.
When it finally came time for her to go she just lay there on my bed, obviously wanting to stay the night. So we had the greatest sex if my life and then she spent the night.
I drove her to work the next morning and when I saw the police outside waiting for me I realized that my career choices had been poor up until now. Maybe being a mortician isn't really for me.
She was having a midlife crisis
I chuckled and said "Don't be silly! How old are you?"
She said "6"
I laughed and said, "Then how are you going through a midlife crisis if you are only 6?"
She said "Well my mom is antivaxx, so I'm unvaccinated."
"Don't be ridiculous!" I said. "A midlife crisis means you're in the middle of your lifespan right now, while right now you'll probably be dead in a week."
It was having a mid-life crisis.
So I aim to have a midlife crisis everyday
Yeah, it was his midlife crisis.
Because it's normal to undergo a midlife crisis.
Everyone cries when they go through a mid-life crisis, duh.
It's about a group of Middle Easter Islamic terrorists that are entering their 40s. They stop buying an excessive amount of guns and explosives and instead start purchasing luxery cars and motorcycles. I call the show Midlife ISIS.
Because he was having a mid-life crisis.
They have a midlife crisis.
He was going through a midlife crisis.
Midlife Crisis
he was having midlife crisis
Midlife crisis.
Sorry it's a repost from a while ago but it needs to be out here more.
Mid-life crisis.
A midlife crisis
Midlife crisis.
Mid-life crisis.
Mid-life ISIS
UB40
I went to my doctor and told him I want to take over the west and kill all the infidels.
He told me I was just having a midlife isis
He was facing a mid-life crisis
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