Midget Jokes
119 midget jokes and hilarious midget puns to laugh out loud. Read jokes about midget that are clean and suitable for kids and friends.
If you're looking for a laugh, you've come to the right place. These midget jokes are sure to bring a smile to your face. From clever one-liners to hilarious puns, we've got you covered. So go ahead and enjoy a little midget humor.
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Funniest Midget Short Jokes
Short midget jokes and puns are one of the best ways to have fun with word play in English. The midget humour may include short dwarf jokes also.
- Did you hear about the guy who's been pickpocketing midget charity workers? How could someone stoop so low?
- Why did the midget get kicked out of the nudist colony? He kept getting in everyone's hair.
- The other day, I saw a midget prisoner climbing down a wall. About halfway down he turned and sneered at me, and I thought, "That's a little condescending."
- Why don't midgets ever get accepted into nudist colonies? They keep sticking their noses into everyone else's business.
- I was reading in the paper today about a midget that got pick pocketed. How could anyone stoop so low?
- The police just released a statement that someone is going around pickpocketing midgets. I'm surprised someone could stoop so low.
- I read in the local paper someone was going around pickpocketing midgets. I never thought someone could stoop so low.
- Midget Discrimination A midget asks the librarian, Do you have any books on midget discrimination? The librarian replies, Top shelf .
- My friend is a gay midget, who finally decided it was time to tell his parents I was so proud of him for coming out of the cabinet!
- What do you call a midget who makes inappropriate jokes in the workplace? A little unprofessional
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Midget One Liners
Which midget one liners are funny enough to crack down and make fun with midget? I can suggest the ones about miniature and small man.
- What do you call a dwarf in a tumble dryer? A midget spinner.
- What do you call a Mexican midget? A paragraph because he's too short to be an essay
- What is the preferred pizza for epileptic midgets? Little Seizures.
(I am so sorry) - What do you call a pizza joint run by epileptic midgets? Little Seizure's
- Make the little things count... teach midgets arithmetic.
- I just saw a midget get pickpocketed... I still can't believe someone could stoop so low.
- Why do midgets make bad parents? Cause they struggle to put food on the table
- You've got to hand it to midgets Because they cant reach it themselves
- I started teaching Maths to midgets in my area. I'm making little things count.
- What do dwarves and midgets have in common? very little
- What do you call a chubby midget? Low fat.
- Today, I made the little things count by teaching math to midgets.....
- What do you call a midget with epilepsy that makes pizza? Little Seizures...
- Did you hear about the guy who pick pocketed a midget? How could he stoop so low?
- I don't understand people who pickpocket midgets How could they stoop so low?
Smart Midget Jokes
Here is a list of funny smart midget jokes and even better smart midget puns that will make you laugh with friends.
- What's the difference between a smart midget... What's the difference between a smart midget and a woman with a venereal disease?
Well, one's a cunning runt...
Midget Golf Jokes
Here is a list of funny midget golf jokes and even better midget golf puns that will make you laugh with friends.
- So I was golfing with some midgets today.. Needless to say, their short game was on point.
Playful Midget Jokes to Add Joy and Laughter to Your Group
What funny jokes about midget you can tell and make people laugh? An example I can give is a clean small people jokes that will for sure put a smile on everyones mouth and help you make midget pranks.
I got into a car accident with a midget...
He got out of his car, angrily shaking his fist and yelled, "I'm NOT happy!"
"Well," I replied, "which one are you?"
Why should a midget not attempt to s**... a cow?
The steaks are just too high.
Let's hear best "Confucius Say" jokes you got
My first Confucius Say joke was this:
>Confucius Says...Crowded Elevator Smell Different to Midget
Today while shaving in the shower I came up with this one
>Confucius Says...Man who shave n**... with straight razor will not have a ball
the other day, I got into a car accident.
A midget got out of the other car and said "I'm not happy!"
I said "Well, than which one are you?"
An old lady gets into an accident with a midget...
...he gets out of the car, obviously furious, and stomps toward the old woman. "I am *not* happy," he growls.
The old woman, calm as can be, says:
"Well, which one are you, then?"
Did you hear about the 7' nba star who married a blonde midget?
He was nuts over her.
midget in the library
midget walks into a library and ask do you have any books on irony? the librarian replies sure they are on the top shelf
Have you heard about the gay midget?
He came out of the cupboard
What did the Doctor say to the midget in the waiting room?
"You're going to have to be a little patient"
s**... harassment
The supervisor of a local firm is startled when his secretary bursts into his office to file a complaint of s**... harassment against a man working in the same department. "What on earth did he do?", asks the boss. "It's not what he did but what he said!", the secretary shrieks. "He said my hair smelt nice!". "And what is so wrong with him telling you that?", asks the boss. "He's a midget" ,huffs the woman.
Have you seen the midget outside Walmart, that hides from gay people?
Of course you haven't.
The Elusive Midget Nun
Two Eskimos, a big one and a little one, walk up to the convent door. The big one nudges the little one and says, Go ahead, knock on the door, knock on the door.
The Mother Superior answers the door. Again, the big Eskimo nudges the little one and says, Go ahead, ask her the question, ask her the question.
The little Eskimo timidly says, May we speak with the midget nun that lives here please?
The Mother Superior answers, There are no midget nuns living here.
The big Eskimo starts nudging the little one again and says, Go ahead, ask her the other question, ask her the other question.
The little Eskimo asks in a quavering voice, Well, are there any midget nuns in Alaska?
The Mother Superior responds uncertainly, I know most of the nuns in Alaska and I don't believe so.
With this the big Eskimo falls down and rolls on the ground, clutching his belly as he laughs uncontrollably. See, he says to the little Eskimo, I told you that you s**... a penguin!
You know what the doctor told the midget?
You'll have to be a little patient.
I was driving past the prison the other day...
with a friend of mine. All of a sudden he starts shouting and pointing, 'LOOK! There's a midget escaping! He's gone over the wall and is climbing down!'
I slammed on my brakes and said, 'woah, hang on. You can't say midget - it's a little con-descending.'
I overheard a midget complaining to a police officer that his pocket had been picked.
The officer said 'I can't believe anyone would stoop that low'
What do you call a midget party?
...a little get-together.
Did you hear about the midget fortune teller who broke out of prison?
He's a small medium at large.
What's grosser than g**...?
When a midget walks by and says, "Mmm, your hair smells nice!"
I'll tell you what I know about midgets...
Very little
Did you hear about the midget that finally came to terms with his homosexuality?
He just came out of the cupboard.
What did the doctor say to the angry midget?
"I'm going to ask you to be a little patient."
Why do midgets wear short dresses?
So they can show off a little leg.
I was dating a midget but it didn't work out.
My parents and friends looked down on her.
Bonus: It was a short relationship.
Have you heard about the midget k**... member?
He was a little racist.
What do you call a Spanish midget?
A paragraph.
Because he's not a full essay.
I accidentally rear ended someone at a stop light while not paying attention..
We get out to exchange information, and I notice the guy is a midget. The first thing he says is, "I'm not happy." To which I replied, "Well which one are you then?"
Guy gets into a car wreck with a midget driver
Midget steps out of his car, walks over to the other guy with a scowl and states, "I'm not happy."
Guy responds. "So which one are you?"
A man is walking by a prison....
...when he sees a midget climbing out one of the cells at the top of the prison. The midget is climbing down a rope when he turns around and sees the man on the street. The midget flips off the men and continues to climb down the rope.
The man says to himself, "Wow, that's a little condescending."
What do you call s**... with a french midget?
bone a petite
Compliment of a HOT Secretary...
Secretary to her Boss: I want to complain of an employee here in our office.
Boss: What happened?
Secretary: Whenever we cross each other, he says that my hair smell too good.
Boss: That's just a compliment.
Secretary: It's not, he is a midget.
What does a British midget get when he is told he is going to be crucified?
He gets a little cross.
Where does the midget pizza chef with epilepsy work?
Little seizures
My girlfriend is a midget and I'm nuts over her
I've got 69 problems.
My girlfriend is a midget.
-Hi, do you have books on midget discrimination?
-Yeah, look on that top shelf in the corner
Two midgets are sitting around, bored...
When one of them pulls out some w**... and asks:
"Wanna get medium?"
Why did the midget get slapped?
Because he told a woman how nice her hair smelled.
Did you hear about the gay midget?
he just came out of the cabinet.
What did the cop tell the midget that was pick pocketed?
How can anyone stoop that low!?
Never ever...
Never trust a midget that tells you your wife's hair smells nice.
What do you call a midget psychic that broke out of jail?
A small medium at large
Why did the midget get kicked off a n**... beach?
People got seriously annoyed with him sticking his nose into everybody's business.
If a mentally challenged midget is late to an appointment...
... can you justifiably call them "a little tardy"?
I made a joke about a midget criminal running down the stairs. The punchline is a little condescending.
Ba dum *tss*
I saw a midget in a k**... outfit today
I think he is a little racist.
A midget walks into a bookstore...
...& asks clerk: 'do you happen to have any books on irony.'
The clerk points to a shelf: 'top row.'
When midgets smoke w**......
...do they get high, or do they just get medium?
A midget and a man are on a bus
The two of them sit next to each other.
When the next stop comes, the midget falls off of the chair, so the man picks him back up.
Another stop comes, and the midget falls again, and again the man picks him up.
On the third stop he of course falls again and this time, the man says:
"Hold on when we get to a stop, you freaking midget!"
The midget replies:
"Can I please leave the bus? I was supposed to get off two stops ago."
Where do midget terrorists live?
Halfghanistan.
I got fired from my job simply for telling this girl I work with that her hair smelled nice.
Do you think they might have been discriminating against me because I'm a midget?
When do you s**... a midget?
When they say your hair smells nice.
What do you call an epileptic midget who works in a pizzeria?
Little seizures.
When is it okay to kick a midget?
When he compliments how nice your girlfriends hair smells.
Today I drove by a prison...
and saw a midget prisoner climbing down the wall.
As he jumped down, he sneered at me and I thought, well, that's a little condescending.
Did you hear about the epileptic midget opening a pizza shop?
It's called Little Seizures.
What do you call a midget doing a cartwheel?
A midget spinner.
What do you call a breakdancing person with dwarfism?
a midget spinner
A psychic midget has escaped from prison..
Police are looking for a small medium at large.
So a prison break was happening...
And I happened to be walking around when it happened. It had a huge wall, and I saw someone climbing down from it. Turns out I knew the guy, he's a famous midget con artist that I ratted out. As he climbed down, he gave me this wretched look.
It was a little condescending.
I was driving the other day
I was driving the other day when I saw this beautiful woman standing on the side of the road. I slowed down a little bit to get a better look at her when the guy behind me rear ended me.
As soon as we both got out of our vehicles, I noticed he was a midget. As he was walking over to me I could tell he was mad. He approached me and yelled, "I'm not happy!"
I replied, "Well, which one are you?"
A midget who claims to see dead people just escaped from a psychiatric ward.
There's a small medium at large.
What do you call a midget pornstar?
A quarter pounder.
Did you hear about the midget that got pick pocketed?
I can't believe someone could stoop so low..
Today, I saw a midget prisoner climbing down the fence.
As we made eye contact, he glared at me and I thought to myself, "Well, that's a little condescending!"
An italian, an Irishman, a German, a talking dog,
a lesbian, a cowboy, the pope, a gambling midget, the president, and a ten inch pianist all walk into a bar.
The bartender looks at all of them and says:
"What is this, a joke?"
What do you call short people on a merry-go-round?
A midget spinner
I got into a fight with a midget last night..
Because he was standing next to my girlfriend and told her that her hair smelled nice
The midget s**... club down the street is hiring.
They must be short staffed.
If a midget tells you that your hair smells nice,
is that s**... harassment?
