Middle School Jokes
85 middle school jokes and hilarious middle school puns to laugh out loud. Read jokes about middle school that are clean and suitable for kids and friends.
Funniest Middle School Short Jokes
Short middle school jokes and puns are one of the best ways to have fun with word play in English. The middle school humour may include short high school jokes also.
- What's the difference between a pakistani middle school and an Al Qaeda training ground? I dunno, I just fly the drone.
- A group of vaping college students is called a smog. A group of vaping middle school students is called down to the principal's office.
- You guys! I'm so excited, I just hooked up with my crush from middle school. ...but now she keeps calling me expecting me to show up at her graduation.
- I got A's in elementary school. I got C's in middle school. In high school, I got D's and boy did my grades improve.
- What's the difference between a middle school flute player and a dress maker Dress makers tuck up frills
- My middle school chemistry teacher once told us... "Alcohol is not a solution, it's a distillation" \*smirks\*
- I was hoping my sister could help me with trigonometry... But then I remembered, "she's in middle school, of course secant"
- The bully who used to take my lunch money from me in middle school still takes my lunch money from me everyday Except now he works at Subway and I'm on my lunch break
- Middle school dance parties probably look like a fortnite lobby now. Lots of ridiculous dancing and and unnecessary shooting.
- My daughter is making a documentary on the invention of the telephone, for a school project. I remember the time I did that, in middle school.
Rings A Bell.
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Middle School One Liners
Which middle school one liners are funny enough to crack down and make fun with middle school? I can suggest the ones about elementary school and grade school.
- What do Mexican kids read in middle school? Tequila Mockingbird.
- What happens if you skip school in Middle-Earth? You shall not pass!
- I just watched the movie 1917, and it reminded me of the lunch line in middle school.
- I felt a little behind in Middle School It was a major bummer when the cops found out :(
- What do fish in middle school worry about? Shellfishteem.
- What's worse than peaking in high school? Climaxing to middle schoolers.
- How is Anti-Vax children and middle school the same? They only last three years
- Haven't listened to Staind since middle school... ...it's been awhile
- I remember having a dry ice presentation in middle school. It was sublime.
- Lunch menu at a middle school in Flint, MI: PB&J with some Pb&H20.
- Why does Jared Fogle like middle school girls? Because he likes to eat fresh.
- What's the longest, hardest thing in a Republican's life? Middle school.
- When I was in middle school, I was kidnapped by a t**... organization. Al-gebra.
- I was friends with h**... in middle school But that dude have the weirdest high fives
Hilarious Fun Middle School Jokes That Will Have You Rolling with Laughter
What funny jokes about middle school you can tell and make people laugh? An example I can give is a clean kid school jokes that will for sure put a smile on everyones mouth and help you make middle school pranks.
When Chuck Norris was in middle school, his English teacher assigned an essay:
"What is courage?" He received an A+ for turning in a blank page with only his name at the top.
Two Middle East mothers are sitting in a cafe chatting over a plate of tabouli and a pint of goat’s milk.
The older of the mothers pulls a bag out of her purse and starts flipping through photos.
And they start reminiscing.
"This is my oldest son Mohammed. He would be 24 years old now."
"Yes, I remember him as a baby" says the other mother cheerfully.
"He’s a martyr now though" mum confides.
"Oh, so sad, dear" says the other.
"And this is my second son Kalid. He would be 21."
"Oh, I remember him," says the other happily, "he had such curly hair when he was born."
"He’s a martyr too" says mum quietly.
"Oh, gracious me…" says the other.
"And this is my third son. My baby. My beautiful Ahmed. He would be 18," she whispers.
"Yes" says the friend enthusiastically, "I remember when he first started school."
"He’s a martyr also," says mum, with tears in her eyes.
After a pause and a deep sigh, the second Muslim mother looks wistfully at the photographs and says, "They blow up so fast, don’t they?"
Friendly reminder that Adele and Taylor Swift are the same age, yet one is pregnant and another stuck in middle school.
A medical student is driving home on a narrow country road in the middle of the night after his shift in the hospital.
The weather is terrible.
It's raining cats and dogs.
Suddenly a motorbike is screaming by with very high speed.
"Jesus Crhist! What an idiot! He will c**... if he doesn't slow down!"
A few minutes later he spotted in his headlights on the side of the road the torn up motorbike against a big tree.
He stopped and quickly jumped out of his car to see in he can give first aid.
But it's to late.
The biker is already dead.
He looked around if there is anyone around. Nobody to see.
The student thouhgt "This is the oppertunity to finally obtain a real human eye!"
He always carryrna spoon and a glass eye in his pocket for an opperunity like this.
He quickly removes the left eye and places the glass eye in the socket.
One quick look around and he jumps in his car and races off.
The next morning when he wakes up he turned on the tv and watches the news.
It said: "Biker found dead on country road with 2 glass eyes."
Middle age is when your old classmates are so grey and wrinkled and bald they don't recognize you.
A man and his 3 daughters
This was one of my favorites from middle school:
So a man has 3 daughters and he is sitting alone in his room one night.
His oldest daughter comes in and asks, "Dad, why did you name me Rose?" He responds, "Well when you were born a rose petal fell on your forehead."
She leaves and the second daughter walks in and asks "Dad, why did you name me Lily?" The Dad replies, "Well when you were born a lily petal fell on your forehead."
Finally, his youngest daughter enters. She is deformed and goes "AAARGGGHLLAHAH" to which the Dad says "Shut up Cinderblock."
A middle school in Oregon
According to a radio report, a middle school in Oregon was faced with a unique problem. A number of girls were beginning to use lipstick and would put it on in the bathroom. That was fine, but after they put on their lipstick they would press their lips to the mirrors leaving dozens of little lip prints.
Finally the principal decided that something had to be done. She called all the girls to the bathroom and met them there with the custodian. She explained that all these lip prints were causing a major problem for the custodian who had to clean the mirrors every day. To demonstrate how difficult it was to clean the mirrors, she asked the custodian to clean one of the mirrors. He took out a long-handled brush, dipped it into the toilet and scrubbed the mirror.
Since then there have been no lip prints on the mirror.
Lipstick Girls
A principal of a small middle school had a problem with a few of the older girls starting to use lipstick. When applying it in the bathroom they would then press their lips to the mirror and leave lip prints.
Before it got out of hand he thought of a way to stop it. He gathered all the girls together that wore lipstick and told them he wanted to meet with them in the ladies room at 2pm. They gathered at 2pm and found the principal and the school custodian waiting for them.
The principal explained that it was becoming a problem for the custodian to clean the mirror every night. He said he felt the ladies did not fully understand just how much of a problem it was and he wanted them to witness just how hard it was to clean.
The custodian then demonstrated. He took a long brush on a handle out of a box. He then dipped the brush in the nearest toilet, moved to the mirror and proceeded to remove the lipstick.
That was the last day the girls pressed their lips on the mirror.
A rich middle eastern oil tycoon sends his son to study in Germany...
His son is feeling nervous about being alone abroad. So, his father allows him to take one of the golden plated Ferraris to Germany in order to boost his confidence. It is shipped over and the father hears nothing for the first few weeks from his son. Then, he recieves an email:
"Father,
I love the way the Ferrari drives but it's so embarrassing, all the other students take trains to school! What should I do?
Your loving son"
The father then replies the next day
"Son,
The gold plated train is on its way
Dad"
What do you call a black dinosaur? TYRONE-ASAURUS REX!
I made this joke up in like middle school I think.
The lipstick problem
My local middle school had a problem. A number of 12-year-old girls were beginning to use lipstick and would put it on in the bathroom. That was fine, but after they put on their lipstick they would press their lips to the mirror leaving dozens of little lip prints. Every night, the maintenance man would remove them and the next day, the girls would put them back. Finally the principal decided that something had to be done. She called all the girls to the bathroom and met them there with the maintenance man. She explained that all these lip prints were causing a major problem for the custodian who had to clean the mirrors every night. To demonstrate how difficult it had been to clean the mirrors, she asked the maintenance man to show the girls how much effort was required. He took out a long-handled squeegee, dipped it in the toilet, and cleaned the mirror with it. Since then, there have been no lip prints on the mirror.
Did you hear about the guy who didn't buy his school books until the middle of the semester?
He's a textbook procrastinator
Kiss The Mirror
A middle school for girls was faced with a unique problem. A number of girls were beginning to use lipstick and would put it on in the bathroom. That was fine, but after they put on their lipstick they would press their lips to the mirrors leaving dozens of little lip prints. Finally the principal decided that something had to be done. She called several of the girls to the bathroom and met them there with the custodian. She explained that all these lip prints were causing a major problem for the custodian who had to clean the mirrors every day. To demonstrate how much work they were making for the custodian, she asked him to clean one of the mirrors while the girls watched. The custodian took a long-handled brush, dipped it into the nearest toilet, and proceeded to scrub the mirror. From that day on, the problem of lip prints on the mirrors was completely eliminated.
Why did the Middle Eastern man not want his daughter to go on a date with a boy from school?
He was afraid she would come home s**....
What does a brick and your mom have in common?
They are both flat-chested and laid by Mexicans.
Source: My old middle school.
My kindergartner already knows middle school level biology
When I tell her to get her backpack, she points at me and says, "eukaryote!"
So, a middle school science class is learning about genetics
and the students are working with recessive and dominant eye colors in punnett squares. A few minutes into the activity one student beckons the teacher over. He has a very concerned look on his face.
The teacher is a little worried. This has happened before. Every once in a while a student realizes that he is adopted or his dad isn't who he thought.
The teacher hesitantly walks over to the concerned student, ready to have a difficult conversation.
"Do you have a question about the assignment?" the teacher asks.
"Well," the student replies, "I think I might be adopted, because I have blue eyes and both my moms have brown eyes!"
[According to a Special Ed teacher at my school, this really happened to her.]
If life was like middle school
Judge: In all my years on the bench, I have never seen a more despicable criminal. You robbed, assaulted, and tortured the victim simply for the thrill of it. Do you have anything to say before I sentence you?
Criminal: Nope
Judge: I hereby sentence you to forty years in a maximum security prison. I also sentence the victim to forty years in prison.
Victim: Wait- what? That doesn't make any sense! *He* attacked *me*!
Judge: I don't care who started it.
Challenger Joke From Middle School
How did we know that Christa McCauliffe's eyes were blue?
One blew this way
One blew thattaway.
How many Californians does it take to screw in a lightbulb?
Californians don't screw in lightbulbs, they screw in hot tubs. (I remember this from the 1970s when I was in middle school. It's one of my first dirty jokes)
How do you know someone is good at gaming?
When they got more first bloods than a middle school bathroom.
A middle school boy comes home crying...
His dad asks, "What's wrong, son?" "A boy at school called me gay!" the son replied. The dad then says, "Well, if he does it again, you can punch him in the face." The boy then stated, "But he's cute!"
Want to hear a dirty joke?
Sam played in the mud.
Want to hear a clean joke?
Sam took a bath with Bubbles.
Want to hear another dirty joke?
Bubbles is the girl next door.
Enjoy this middle school level joke I suddenly remembered for some reason.
The kids at middle school are studying WWII...
... and little Timmys grandpa, who was a fighter pilot in the war, is invited to class to tell about his experiences. He reminisces:
"Now, the worst situation I was ever in, was probably when I encountered a German air wing all by myself. I had one Fokker above me, one Fokker behind me and one Fokker off to my right, so I..."
The class begins to snicker uncontrollably so teacher steps in.
"Now, class, before you start getting ideas, Fokker was the name of a German aeroplane manufacturer. Isn't that right, sir?"
"Yes, Ma'am!... these particular Fokkers were flying Messerschmidts, though..."
What do you call a bunch of kids waiting for a drink at the middle school dance?
The punch line
The guy who used to bully me in middle school still takes my lunch money.
On the other hand, he makes great Subway sandwiches.
I have an issue with my school cooks
My school cooks usually burn themselves, once one died. They are kinda trained, but they are from the middle-east so they are 50/50.
Dr. Watson catches Sherlock having s**... with a young girl...
Dr. Watson catches Sherlock having s**... with a young girl and says:
Sherlock, what are you doing? This girl looks like she's in middle school.
Sherlock: Elementary, dear Watson.
A guy walked up to me at school
And picked me up. He yelled "TRUE" in my ear and walked away. Then in the middle of the hall he kept shouting to me "FALSE". Finally he walked up to me when I was with my crush and said "true true true true false false". That's when I snapped.
"Stop boolean me!!"
Dads favorite medical school joke.
Medical students were attending their 1st biochemistry class. They all gathered around the Lab table with a u**... sample. The professor dip his finger in u**... & tasted it in his own mouth. Then he asked the students to do the same. The students hesitated for several minutes, but at last every one dipped their finger in u**... sample & tasted it.... When everyone finished, the professor looked at them & said: The most important quality is 'Observation'. I dipped my MIDDLE Finger but tasted the INDEX Finger. Today you just learn, how to pay attention.
If you snort coke, you get high. If you snort flour...
..you get baked.
...frighteningly, my 5th grader came up with this while we were having a discussion about drugs and what he might end up seeing in Middle School next year.
When I was in middle school, my "friends" used to force me to eat vegetables until I almost threw up.
They even started sending me pictures of vegetables on the internet, threatening to make me eat lettuce until I was sick. To this day, I still suffer from the effects of their rampant and traumatic fiber-bullying.
It's been an exciting month
My girlfriend just graduated and I'm so proud of, moving on to bigger and better things... Like middle school, and puberty.
Good Thing The Vegas Rule Still Applies At The Hotel Room Across From The Lovely Middle School
Yo momma so fat, they had to get 2 oxen to pull the wagon.
I'm a middle school social studies teacher and I thought I'd dial the yo mamma jokes back a few centuries!
My wife didn't want to get an abortion but I did
So we met in the middle and sent him to school in America
American School System
5th grade: You better learn cursive, because in middle school; all your work will be done in cursive!
6th grade: Just write print it's easier to read
Highschool: You better learn these core classes because they'll be required to know before college!
College: You have to retake and pay for these Core Classes for your Degree
Request
I don't know if i can post this here but i need to pass my math exam and my teacher passes everyone who writes a joke to make him laugh. I need the best math jokes.
Anyway here's a joke:
What do you get if you add two apples and three apples?
A middle school math problem!
And what do you gett if you search for your ex and don't know why?
A college math problem!
Your momma's so fat....
She saw a yellow bus full of white kids and screamed "FOLLOW THAT t**...!!!"
god i miss middle school
I visited the Middle East last year...
And I had to spend a whole school year there. It was weird because their schools are unable to have drivers education and s**... education on the same day.
Too hard for the camels.
So there were 4 people on a private jet
Oprah Winfrey, Donald trump, Barack obama, and this little girl.
In the middle of there flight, the engine shuts down and and there going to c**....
So Oprah Winfrey says the world needs me and grabs a parachute and jumps off.
Then Donald trump grabs a parachute and jumps off without saying anything.
Then there's only one parachute left.
Barack Obama says to the girl, little girl, you are the future to our country, you take the last parachute.
Then the little girl says actually there's two left.
Barack Obama says how ?
Then the little girl says because trump just took my school backpack.
The things kids say....
I work in a middle school and I was talking to a 6th grader today. He was bummed because he's so short:
He says: I should go back to kindergarten with kids my own size.
Me: Well maybe you should try 1st grade because you already know the alphabet, right?
He didn't skip a beat and responded: I'm so American, the only letters I know are U, S and A!
It was hilarious.!! Thank you children for making us laugh.
Wrong number perhaps
A women is getting lunch ready when the phone rings.
"This is the middle school calling about your son Johnny. He's been caught telling unbelievable lies."
"I'll say he has," the woman replies, "I don't have a son."
A bass player found a genie
A bass player found a genie, rubbed it and said I want to be the best bass player in all of America
the genie responded your wish is my command and he spent the next few years touring with some of the biggest bands in the country
He eventually got bored of just staying in America so he found the genie again and said I want to be the best bass player in the world
The genie responded your wish is my command and he was suddenly on a world wide tour.
He eventually got bored and found the genie one more time and said I want to be better than any bass player has ever been
Suddenly he was on tour as the rhythm guitarist of a middle school cover band
Two teenagers, Fred and Joe, meet after school and Fred is all excited
Man I was at the most awesome party this weekend! We went to this dude's house and guy had toilets made of pure gold!
No way!
Yes way, insists Fred, come with me and check it out for yourself if you don't believe me.
Twenty minutes later they're ringing the doorbell at the place. A middle-aged lady opens and Fred eagerly asks her, Hi! I'm sorry to bother you but there was a party at your house yesterday and my friend doesn't believe that you have toilet bowls of pure gold!
The lady looks at him for a moment and then yells into the inside of the house, Roger, the pig that s**... in your t**... is here!
A joke my friend made up in middle school to prove I'd laugh at anything (I cried laughing unfortunately)
A man walks into a bar and takes a seat. The server comes up to him and says: what'll you have?
The man says I'll take blood in a monkey glass .
The bartender says excuse me?
The man says blood in a monkey glass, ya know just...blood in a monkey glass
The bartender says well you're gonna have to tell me how to make this drink because I've never heard of this...blood in a monkey glass before
The man says well you take blood...and you put it in a monkey glass
The Good Old Days
> You don't appreciate a lot of stuff in school until you get older. Little things like being spanked every day by a middle-aged woman: Stuff you pay good money for in later life.
- Emo Philips
I was taught to always follow my dreams no matter what.
So now I just need to rescue my boss's wooden horse from the pool that's filled with spaghetti before the Egyptian soccer team gets back from practice.
Rachel from middle school? What are you doing here?
