Middle Of The Ocean Jokes
33 middle of the ocean jokes and hilarious middle of the ocean puns to laugh out loud. Read bar jokes about middle of the ocean that are clean and suitable for kids and friends.
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Funniest Middle Of The Ocean Short Jokes
Short middle of the ocean jokes and puns are one of the best ways to have fun with word play in English. The middle of the ocean humour may include short under the sea jokes also.
- If Donald Trump and Hillary Clinton are together on a boat in the middle of the ocean and it sinks, who survives? America.
- If there is a plastic island the size of Australia in the middle of the ocean, Then we have nothing to worry about because Australia doesn't exist
- You're in the middle of the ocean and you see Trump and Hillary drowning but you only have room in your boat to save one. Who do you save? America. Keep right on going and don't stop.
- If the rumors about Apple manufacturing a driverless car... Then I can't wait to drive into the middle of the Atlantic ocean!
- Q: If Nancy Pelosi and Obama were on a boat in the middle of the ocean and it started to sink, who would get saved? A: America !
- What do you call a Punjabi fellow stuck in the middle of a shark-filled ocean? Amandeep trouble.
- My sister thought of this one during the twenty sixteen election. Hillary and Trump are stuck on a boat in the middle of the ocean. Who wins? America.
- What do you call a rock in the middle of the ocean, that no matter how much you push down on it it won't go down? An island
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Middle Of The Ocean One Liners
Which middle of the ocean one liners are funny enough to crack down and make fun with middle of the ocean? I can suggest the ones about bottom ocean and ocean.
- An LGBQT cruising ship sinks in the middle of the ocean. Who survives? The flambuoyants.
- I dropped my laptop in the middle of the ocean A dell must be rolling in the deep
- What do you call a town in the middle of the Arctic Ocean? An Iceburgh.
- What did the sign in the middle of the ocean say? Notice
- Why is there asphalt in the middle of the ocean? Oh wait, it's Road Island!
- What do you call a dead baby floating in the middle of the ocean? Bait.
- What do you call a gay in the middle of the ocean? Flambuoyant :)
Howlingly Hilarious Middle Of The Ocean Jokes for All Ages to Enjoy
What funny jokes about middle of the ocean you can tell and make people laugh? An example I can give is a clean underwater jokes that will for sure put a smile on everyones mouth and help you make middle of the ocean pranks.
A penguin falls asleep on an iceberg,...
When he wakes up, he finds himself encased in ice, floating in the middle of the ocean. To his fortune, he spots the horn of a narwhal close by. Thanking his lucky stars, he calls out to him. The narwhal comes and the penguin asks "Thank goodness you're around, Mr. Narwhal. Could you break the ice?". The narwhal stares at him for a bit.
"Ok, so what are your hobbies?"
A lady with a morbid fear of drowning is on a ship in the middle of an ocean. Nervously , she asks a crew member 'just how far away from land are we?' Calmly, he reassures her ' you have nothing to worry about ,we're only 5 kilometers from land.' Relieved, she inquires 'oh, in which direction?'
That would be straight down, Miss........
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
Two Irishmen are stranded in the middle of the ocean
A bottle bobs up to their boat. One of the Irishmen opens the bottle and a genie comes out.
Thank you for freeing me! , says the Genie. In honour of your deed, I shall grant you one wish.
Before the first Irishman can get a word out, the second says Turn the whole ocean into Guinness!
The ocean turns a glistening black and the genie disappears. The first Irishman hits the second over the head and says,
Way to go, ya bleedin' idiot! Now we have to p**... in the boat!
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
A man was in the middle of the ocean and about to drown.
A boat came and the man on the boat said, "Come on board if you want to live."
The man declined and said, "Don't worry, God will save me."
The boat left.
Another boat arrived and the man on the boat said, "You are about to die, get on the boat."
The man declined and said, "Don't worry, God will save me."
The boat left and the man drowned.
In heaven, the man asked God a question, "Why didn't you save me?"
God said, "You d**... I gave you 2 boats."
A man called, furious about an Orlando, Florida, vacation package we had booked for him:
He was expecting an ocean-view hotel room.
I explained that was not possible since Orlando is in the middle of the state.
"Don't lie to me," he said. "I looked on the map, and Florida is a very thin state."
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
Four sailors in the middle of the ocean had their ship crashed on an island
The villagers captured them and brought them to the leader. He looked at them ordering everyone of the 4 to bring a different kind of fruit.
Once they arrived he told them : "Put your fruit in your a**... and if you cry or laugh you are dead"
The first one had a small apple so it was smooth and easy for him.
The second one had a small banana and didn't laugh too.
The third had grape and had put it in his a**... but laughed heavily.
His friends asked him : "Why're you laughing, you have grapes, should be the easiest"
He replied : "While I was putting the grape in my b**... I saw the 4th guy holding a sugar cane"
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
THE NEW RECRUIT
A man joins the navy and is shipped out immediately to an aircraft carrier in the middle of the Pacific Ocean. The captain is showing the new recruit around the ship, when the recruit asks the captain what the sailors do to satisfy their urges when they're at sea for so long.
"Let me show you," says the captain.
He takes the recruit down to the rear of the ship where there's a solitary barrel with a hole in it.
"This'll be the best s**... you'll ever have. Go ahead and try it, and I'll give you some privacy."
The recruit doesn't quite believe it, but he decides to try it anyway. After he finishes up, the captain returns.
"Wow! That was the best s**... I've ever had! I want to do it every day!"
"Fine. You can do it every day except for Thursday."
"Why not Thursday?"
"That's your day in the barrel."
Understand women
There once was a man named John. He did a lot of praying and one day God saw this and came down to John. God said to him "John you've been doing a lot of praying so I am granting you with one wish, ask for whatever you want." John was very happy and said "God I always wanted to go to Hawaii but I am scared of flying, can you build me a road from California to Hawaii so I can drive there?" God then said "John many people will die making this bridge because it is in middle of the ocean and it is so long." John agreed and then said
"you know God my wife is always yelling at me, my mom is always mad at me and my sisters are always telling me that I'm wrong. Can you allow me to understand women." God thought for a while and then said ".....so when do you want that bridge done by?"
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
4 men on a sinking boat
On a trip to the sea, an American, a Russian, a Mexican and an Irishman were sailing on the boat. In the middle of the rough ocean, the boat, unable to carry so much weight, started to sink.
"We have to do something!" yelled the Russian man. "Let us each throw some of our things off the boat to reduce our total weight." He went to his backpack of v**..., grabbed it, and tossed it off the boat. "We got so much v**... back in Mother Russia, a little v**... gone won't change anything!"
The Irishman followed suit. He grabbed his barrel of booze and rolled it off the boat. "We got so much liquor back in Ireland, a little liquor gone won't change anything!"
The American pushed the Mexican off the boat.
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
What do you call...
...a man with no arms and no legs, lying on a restaurant table? [Bill.](/spoiler)
What do you call a man with no arms and no legs hanging on a wall? [Art.](/spoiler)
What do you call a man with no arms and no legs under a car? [Jack.](/spoiler)
What do you call a man with no arms and no legs in a ditch? [Phil.](/spoiler)
What do you call a man with no arms and no legs in a p**...? [Stu.](/spoiler)
What do you call a man with no arms and no legs in a pile of leaves? [Russel.](/spoiler)
What do you call a man with no arms and no legs in the middle of the ocean? [Bob.](/spoiler)
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
Three men were stranted in the middle of the ocean on a raft...
When all of a sudden they catch sight of an island that had smoke rising from it. Overjoyed, they paddle the whole way there only to find themselves surrounded by intimidating natives with spears.
The chieftain walked up to them and said, "You have two choices. The first is that we kill you. The second is that we set you free after we give you a boomshakalaka."
The first man decided on the boomshakalaka. The burliest man out of them all stepped up, bent him over and r**... him savagely for 5 minutes but after he was done, they set him free and he ran off.
The second man also wanted to live so he decided to take the boomshakalaka as well. After 5 minutes he too was set free.
Having seen his two friends get r**..., the third man decided that he would just get killed
So the chieftain stepped up and said "Ok. I sentence you to death... by boomshakalaka.
A magician is working on a cruise ship, but there is one problem.
The captain's parrot watches every show he does, and after figuring out the tricks, the parrot has started yelling out the secrets of how the tricks are done.
The bird says, "Look, it's not the same hat!" or "Hey! He's hiding the flowers under the table!"
The magician is enraged. But it's the captain's parrot, so he can't do anything about it.
One day on a long cruise, there is an accident. The boat crashes and sinks. The magician and the parrot find themselves clinging to the same plank of wood in the middle of the ocean. For days neither says anything. Finally, after a week, with no hope in sight, the parrot says, "Okay, I give up. Where's the boat?"
