Middle East Jokes
124 middle east jokes and hilarious middle east puns to laugh out loud. Read jokes about middle east that are clean and suitable for kids and friends.
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Funniest Middle East Short Jokes
Short middle east jokes and puns are one of the best ways to have fun with word play in English. The middle east humour may include short middle earth jokes also.
- "You're the bomb, no you're the bomb" A compliment in the United States, an argument in the Middle East.
- You the bomb. No, you the bomb.
A compliment in America.
An argument in the Middle East. - Whats kim kardashian and the Middle East got in common? Both are covered in oil, huge, and been invaded by the West.
- Why is there no walmarts in the middle east? Because there are targets on every single corner.
- I told a good drone joke in arabic It went over american's heads, but it killed in the middle east
- Why don't they celebrate New Year's Eve in the Middle East? Cause there's no one left when the clock hits zero
- Why did moses vote for Al Gore? Because the last time he took political orders from a Bush, his country went mucking around in the Middle East for forty years.
- I heard that ' Call of Duty' has a different name in the Middle East. They call it "The Sims".
- Who says Jesus couldn't perform miracles? He managed to find mates named Matthew, Mark, Luke and John hanging around in the Middle East.
- I knew a guy that was selling exploding prayer rug in the middle east He told me prophets were going through the roof
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Middle East One Liners
Which middle east one liners are funny enough to crack down and make fun with middle east? I can suggest the ones about eastern europe and saudi arabia.
- snow isn't a problem in the Middle East ...but ISIS
- Why do you never see a flock of seagulls in the middle east? Because Iran's so far away
- What did I see while on vacation in the Middle-East? I Saudi Arabian Desert.
- What's the most popular pub in the Middle East? The Allahu ak-Bar
- What do you call cheap apartments in the Middle East? Low rents of Arabia.
- What do they call spiders in the Middle East? Iraqnids
- What do you call a spider from the Middle East? an Iraqnid
- Could you imagine a market in the Middle East? Because that would be bazaar
- What is the biggest miracle of Jesus Christ? Being white in Middle East.
- Is it just ME or is there another acronym for Middle East?
- How did I escape from the Middle East? Iran.
- I'm making a silent film set in the Middle East It's titled A Kuwait Place
- How do they make honey in the Middle East? From a shawarma bees
- Wanna know how I got to the Middle East? Iran.
- What did Spider-Man say when he was deployed to the Middle East? Iraq, no phobia
Middle East Jokes to Giggle and Enjoy A Night of Unforgettable Laughter
What funny jokes about middle east you can tell and make people laugh? An example I can give is a clean middle ages jokes that will for sure put a smile on everyones mouth and help you make middle east pranks.
I just realize why Jesus is so well remembered...
He was the only white dude in the middle east!
Me- "Do you know in middle east most of married girls can't even vote on Facebook opinion poll".
Friend- "That's not true, there is no such law anywhere in middle east".
Me- "Yeah, but you need to be above 13 to use Facebook".
2000 years ago somewhere in the Middle East
'I do not care who your father is. When I am out here fishing you do not walk on the water...'
100 camels
A man and his wife are traveling in the Middle East. An Arab approaches the husband, saying, "I'll give you for your woman."
After a long silence, the husband says, "She's not for sale."
The indignant wife says, "What took you so long to answer?"
The husband replied, "I was trying to figure out how to get back home.
Apparently Muslims invented the c**....
As it turns out, Muslims in the middle east one day came up with the brilliant idea to use goat intestines as a suitable c**.... It wasn't, however, until in 1827 when the British perfected the idea by taking the intestines *out* of the goat first.
Why don't they have s**... ed and drivers ed on the same day in the middle east?
There are never enough camels to go around.
Why don't they teach s**...-ed and drivers-Ed on the same day in the Middle East?
Because the camels can't handle it.
Did you guys hear about the fruit and dairy tycoon from the middle East?
We call him the Banana Milk Sheikh
UN Food Survey Fails...
UN Phone Survey
Last month, a world-wide telephone survey was conducted by the UN.
The only question asked was:
"Would you please give your honest opinion about possible solutions to the food shortage in the rest of the world?"
The survey was a complete failure because:
In Eastern Europe they didn't know what "honest" meant.
In Western Europe they didn't know what "shortage" meant.
In Africa they didn't know what "food" meant.
In China they didn't know what "opinion" meant.
In the Middle East they didn't know what "solution" meant.
In South America they didn't know what "please" meant.
In the USA they didn't know what "the rest of the world" meant.
And in Australia , New Zealand and Britain everyone hung up as soon as they heard the Indian accent.
What is that number 1 song coming out of the middle east?
My black flag brings all the goats to the yard,
and they're like like "allahu akbar",
watch out, I'll put a bomb in your car,
I'd teach you, but I lost my arms
The Middle East reminds me of that old joke about the optimist and the pessimist
The pessimist says "everything's terrible, it can't get any worse." the optimist says "oh yes it can."
I made a game where you play a soldier saving people in the Middle East.
qatar Hero.
Someone literally said this in class
Teacher: "Half the world is a cess pool"
Student: "The middle east isn't half the world"
The Flintstones
A new middle east crisis erupted last night as Dubai Television was refused permission to broadcast 'The Flintstones'.
A spokesman for the channel said....'A claim was made that people in Dubai would not understand the humour,
but we know for a fact that people in Abu Dhabi Do.'
The United Nations world-wide survey
The United Nations sent out a survey to all the nations in the different continents of the world.
The survey went like this:
"We want your honest opinion on how to find a solution to the food shortage in the rest of the world"
The survey of course, turned out to be a total and abject failure:
The People in western Europe didn't know what the word 'shortage' meant. The people in eastern Europe had no idea what the expression 'honest' was supposed to mean. In china no one knew what 'opinion' was. In Africa they didn't know what 'food' was. In the middle east no one could figure out what 'solution' was; and in america they had no idea what 'the rest of the world' meant.
Why don't they teach Driver's Ed and s**... education on the same day in the Middle East?
They don't want to wear out the camel.
s**... Hotline
Did you hear the government moved the s**...-hotline call center to the middle east to save money?
I called to talk to someone and when I told them I was suicidal, they got all excited and asked if I knew how to drive a truck.
Antique shop owners in the middle east have one rule
Dubreak, Dubai.
Wal-Mart
Why are there no Wal-Marts in the middle east?
A: Because there are too many Targets
What is the Middle East's most favourite band?
Qu'ran Qu'ran
What do you call a witness to an event in the Middle East?
A Dubaistander.
Yeah I thought of it myself.
What's an argument in the Middle East but a compliment in the U.S.A?
"You da bomb"
"No, you da bomb!"
What do women in the Middle East and Millennials have in common?
If they go to college, they'll probably get s**....
Have you heard of the new running shoes that Apple's producing for the soldiers in middle East?
They're calling it iRan.
in the middle east you can't drink
But you can get s**...
For drinking
BREAKING NEWS: Just in from a correspondent in the Middle East.
ISIS to buy all Samsung Galaxy Note 7. #note7
How is the Middle East not leading the world in wind energy...
... they have almost one turban per person.
What did the son say to his father when he lost his suitcase in the airport on their trip to the middle east?
"Where's baghdad?"
Trump wants to cut funding for birth control, renegotiate trade deals, and stop the wars in the Middle East.
It seems pulling out is his solution for everything.
In the middle east its hard to tell who's crazy,
And Hussein.
I was banned from the Middle East, so this is what I did...
Iran
Israel officially decriminalizes m**... use
So that's one country in the middle east where I wouldn't mind being s**....
I was buying a map of an expensive brand.
When I was looking at the Middle East, I noticed that the countries were improperly named. I thought, maybe its a cheap copy of the brand and not actually from that brand?
So I went up to the shopkeeper, pointed at the improperly named countries in the middle east, and said "Is this fake?"
The shopkeeper replied by saying "No, no, Israel."
My friend said he didn't know there was a war going on in the middle east...
He must have been living under *Iraq*
If we have "t**..." bars in the US...
... do they have "facie" bars in the Middle East?
Trump is banning telephone calls to and from the middle east
I can't believe our president created the teleban!
My friend from the middle east was telling me his story about how he left his home country. The story is rather short , all he said was...
Iran away.
What game do kids play in the Middle East?
j**... and seek!
Roll call in the Middle East
Teacher: Asghar?
Asghar: Here!
Teacher:Hassan?
Hassan: Present!
Teacher: Rahal?
Rahal: A present, count to four!
Teacher: Don't you mean 'present and accounted for'?
Rahal: No. Count to two.
Teacher: What do you- BOOM!
Just in from the Middle East
Media reports that people in Dubai wouldn't understand the
humor in the "Flintstones" but, I know for a fact that
people in Abu Dhabi do.
I hate that whenever people talk about the Middle East, they compliment themselves.
We get it. You raq. Move on.
Have I ever told you guys about how I escaped from the Middle East?
Iran.
Oman the whole story is ridiculous.
I basically had to Qatar cross the border.
Just like Bon Jovi, I was basically Lebanon a prayer the whole time.
I know it doesn't sound like a true story, but I assure you Israel.
Honestly I could tell you more but it Kuwait.
A reporter goes to the Middle East for an interview.
Reporter: "Excuse me, may I interview you?"
Man: "Yes!"
Reporter: "Name?"
Man: "Abdul Al-Rhazim."
Reporter: "s**...?"
Man: "Three to five times a week."
Reporter: "No no! I mean male or female?"
Man: "Yes, male, female... sometimes camel."
Reporter: "Holy cow!"
Man: "Yes, cow, sheep... animals in general."
Reporter: "But isn't that hostile?"
Man: "Yes, horse style, d**..., any style."
Reporter: "Oh dear!"
Man: "No, no deer. Deer run too fast. Hard to catch."
What do you call a lumberjack from the middle east?
o**... Bin Loggin
Why doesn't the middle east teach drivers education and s**... education on the same day?
Because the goat gets tired.
Being a picture is like being a gay man in middle east
First you're framed then you're hanged almost immediately
Dark humor is basically like Drone Strikes...
They are directed toward Africa and The Middle East.
Did you know that there's a place in the Middle East that's considered the father of the bagpipe?
It's Baghdad
Trump, Merkel and Kim Jong-un are in the Middle East being chased by ISIS:
Trump turns to them and shouts: "Stop chasing us and I'll pay you a million dollars!" The terrorists continued.
Then Merkel turns to them and shouts: "Stop chasing us and I'll give you German citizenship!" The terrorists still kept chasing.
Then Kim Jong-un turns and shouts: "You are about to cross the border into the People's Democratic Republic of Korea. Welcome!"
The terrorists screamed and turned to run away.
What do you call the Ghost of Christmas Middle East?
Lebaneser Scrooge.
A hermit in the middle east has not heard about any current events.
I guess you could say he lives under Iraq.
So, you're the leader of a country who wants access to the Eastern Mediterranean, Balkans and Middle East, but you're not able to get it?
Oh, Crimea river.
I was going to move to the Middle East
Then someone told me what they mean by getting s**...
I run a backpack store in the middle east.
Sales are great but I've never had any returning customers.
It's funny how a sentence can have different meanings depending on where you say them.
saying "you da bomb" in the US is a compliment.
However a discussion in the Middle East.
I studied human thought and cuisine in the Middle East.
I earned my bachelor's in Falafelsophy.
Why do Muslims believe the afterlife is more important than the current life?
If you lived in the Middle East, you would too.
Why couldn't the flock of seagulls get to the Middle East?
Because Iran so far away
Have you heard about the situation in the Middle East
It's pretty Syrias
What spell does America cast every time they invade a country in the Middle East?
Expecto Petroleum
James Bond retired and turned down a knighthood in England to live in Afghanistan where he became one of the most important men in the middle east.
Turns out he wanted to be Sheikh'en, not Sirred.
The UN decided to do a worldwide survey...
The only question asked was: "Would you please give your honest opinion about solutions to the food shortage in the rest of the world?" The survey was a huge flop. In Africa they didn't know what "food" meant. In Eastern Europe, they didn't know what "honest" meant. In Western Europe, they didn't know what "shortage" meant. In China, they didn't know what "opinion" meant. In the Middle East, they didn't know what "solution" meant. In South America, they didn't know what "please" meant. And in the USA, they didn't know what "the rest of the world" meant.
A daughter asks her father how he left the middle east.
I ran.
I really wanna go to the Flock of Seagulls concert in the middle east...
But Iran so far away.
What do you call a depressed country in the Middle East
Sadi Arabia