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Mid Jokes

94 mid jokes and hilarious mid puns to laugh out loud. Read jokes about mid that are clean and suitable for kids and friends.

Funniest Mid Short Jokes

Short mid jokes and puns are one of the best ways to have fun with word play in English. The mid humour may include short upper jokes also.

  1. The Legend of Zelda: Breath of the Wild was originally intended to be for Wii U But mid-way through development they made the switch.
  2. Anti-Vaxx parents hate it when you call their toddler's outbursts a "temper tantrum." They prefer the term "mid-life crisis"
  3. Asiana Airlines will be filing a lawsuit against KTVU for its inappropriate and racist names that were falsely broadcasted mid day Friday 7/12... ....said Asiana's attorney Wi Su Yu
  4. What did Kurt Kobain have such a terrible time in 7th grade? He was having a mid-life crisis.
  5. I saw an anti-vaxxers 4 year old son throwing a tantrum at the grocery store yesterday. Everything was OK, he was just having a mid-life crisis.
  6. A plane full of Japanese car parts just exploded in mid-air Apparently it's raining Datsun cogs
  7. Chuck Norris once skydived and the parachute failed to open while mid-air The next day, he demanded a refund.
  8. A plane malfunctioned and went for a nosedive mid-flight, but it just bounced after touching the ground. Boeing.
  9. Why was the anti vaxxers two year old crying? Because he was having a mid-life crisis
  10. What's the roughest part about being a 7-year-old in Liberia? The mid-life crisis.

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Mid One Liners

Which mid one liners are funny enough to crack down and make fun with mid? I can suggest the ones about conflict and halt.

  1. Why was the anti-vaxxer's 3 year old crying? They were having a mid-life crisis.
  2. Why was the baby in africa crying? It was having a mid-life crisis.
  3. Why did the African 3 year old cry? He was having a mid life crisis
  4. why was the 6 month old African baby crying? It was having a mid life crisis
  5. I like my women like I like my golf scores In the mid 70's with a slight handicap
  6. Why was the 3 year old ethiopian kid crying He was having a mid life crisis
  7. Why does an Ethiopian baby cry? It's having a mid life crisis
    (Sorry If it's too dark)
  8. Why was the Ethiopian baby crying? It was having a mid-life crisis.
  9. I once woke up mid surgery. Thankfully the patient was still asleep.
  10. What's wrong with that 5 year old Ethiopian? He's having a mid-life crisis
  11. Two ways of driving someone crazy; One is stopping in mid-sentence and
  12. Did you hear about the pencil that got an injury in jail? It broke mid-sentence.
  13. Did you hear about the six month old Ethiopian child? He was having a mid life crisis
  14. What do you call a 1-year-old Nigerian kid crying? Mid-Life Crisis
  15. Why are 8 year old African children always so depressed? Mid-life crisis

Mid Life Crisis Jokes

Here is a list of funny mid life crisis jokes and even better mid life crisis puns that will make you laugh with friends.

  • I feel really bad for kids in third world countries... They have to go through puberty and their mid-life crisis at the same time.
  • Why was the one y.o. Ethiopian child crying? Because he was having his mid-life crisis.
  • My anti vaxer neighbor's eight year old was throwing a temper tantrum "Isn't she too old to throw a temper tantrum?", I asked.
    "It's not a temper tantrum. It's a mid life crisis."
  • Why was the 1 year old African kid depressed? He was facing a mid-life crisis
  • Why was the antivaxers 5 year old son so sad? He was having a mid-life-crisis.
  • What's it called when a 12 year old African boy that's crying? A mid-life crisis
  • Why does a Somalian baby cry? It's having a mid life crisis.
    I apologize for nothing.
  • Why was the anti-vaxers baby crying. It was having a mid-life crisis.
  • Why was the anti-vaxxer's 4 year old child feeling so down? Mid-life crisis
  • The anti-vaxx couple could not understand why their 2-year old was crying Everyone cries when they go through a mid-life crisis, duh.

Mid Air Jokes

Here is a list of funny mid air jokes and even better mid air puns that will make you laugh with friends.

  • Why are cats always able to land on their feet? Because they can paws in mid-air
  • Chuck Norris can do the splits in mid air,rotate his hips 360" so fast it lifts him off the ground thus making the Chuck Copter!
  • I have the ability to jump out of an aeroplane, mid-air and without a parachute. Once.
  • My dog was standing on her hind legs. My dog was standing on her hind legs.
    I guess she felt she had to pause in mid air.
  • There was once a man from bel air who was doing his wife on the stair, but the banister broke so he doubled his s**... and finished her off in mid air!

Mid Flight Jokes

Here is a list of funny mid flight jokes and even better mid flight puns that will make you laugh with friends.

  • As a supplier for paramilitary troops, i can confirm... Nobody has ever complained about their parachute not opening mid-flight.
  • The movie I was watching was so bad that I had to walk out. Unfortunately, the flight attendant told me that she can't open the doors mid-flight.
  • How do you change an airplane's tires mid-flight? Use a hijack.

Mid Jokes to Giggle and Enjoy A Night of Unforgettable Laughter

What funny jokes about mid you can tell and make people laugh? An example I can give is a clean abruptly jokes that will for sure put a smile on everyones mouth and help you make mid pranks.

My wife wasn't happy.

True story: I was at the store with my son and my wife. I have a habit of flipping my wedding ring in the air like a coin and catching it. My son saw me do it and tried to grab it in mid air, causing it to fall to the ground. He scrambled to get it and I said, "Son, hand me that! It's expensive!"
My son asked me, "how much did it cost, dad?"
I replied, "my life."

A joke about golfers.

Two men were playing golf one afternoon when just as they are about to play an important putt on the final hole for the match a large f**... procession passes by on the road at the side of the golf course. One of the men stops in mid putt, removes his cap, bows his head in prayer. The second man retorts "Woah man, that was really respectful". "Well, we had been married for over 25 years" said the other man.

In the mid 1800s a primitive c**... was developed in New Zealand, made from a sheep intestine.

It wasn't until the early 1900s that it made it's way to Australia, where it was immediately improved by removing it from the sheep.

Mid life career change

A guy walks into a bar and orders a beer. "So what do you do?" the bartender chats him up. "Well I used to work in food service, but I just got a new job in IT," the guy says. "How was it changing careers?" the bartender asks. "Well, you know, a job is a job. I guess the biggest difference is that the phase 'My server went down on me,' is no longer a good thing," the guy replies.

A mid 30's guy is grocery shopping, and a 20 something blonde catches his eye.

She looks very familiar, but he can't remember where he met her. When they moved closer, she said to him, "Hi - I think you're the father of one of my children."
The guy freaks out. He says, "I've only cheated on my wife 3 times - in Vegas 5 years ago, in Orlando 4 years ago, and in Seattle 3 years ago. You look familiar, but I just can't remember. Who are you?"
She says, "I'm your son's Sunday school teacher."

Three men find themselves at a beach-side resort in the Caribbean...

... and they soon begin to discuss their lives and how they came to be there.
The first man says, "I use to run a successful business in the Mid West. One day unfortunately there was a huge fire and my entire warehouse burned to the ground. I collected the insurance on it and decided to move here."
The other two nod, slightly sympathetically.
The second man says, "Similar story here. I used to run a jewellery store back in LA, but unfortunately one night there was a massive break in. I collected the insurance that I had on the jewellery and moved down here to settle."
They look at the third guy. He says, "I used to run a small fishing business on the East Coast. Last year unfortunately the entire thing was ruined by a hurricane. I collected my insurance and moved here."
The first two guys look at each other for a minute. Finally, one says, "How do you start a hurricane?"

A mathematician is afraid of flying because of the risk of a t**... b**... it in mid air. So he takes a bomb in his hand baggage

"The probability of having a bomb on a plane is very low", he reason, "and the probability of having two bombs on the same plane is virtually zero.

Chivalry really is dead…

The other day, I helped a young lady out the door and, instead of thanking me, she yelled at me on her way out.
I don't know what surprised me more: Her reaction or the fact that airplane doors could actually open mid flight

What do you call it when Shakespeare has a w**...?

Mid summer Night's cream

A Galaxy Phone, an iPhone and a windows phone fall out a top story window.

The galaxy phone bounces with minor cracks.
The iPhone smashes into dozens of pieces.
The windows phone freezes mid decent.

I was staying in a hotel last night.

I phoned down to reception. Hi, this is room 26 Can I have a wake up call, please? She said Yes, you're in your mid 30s, Single, live with your mother and have achieved nothing in life!"

I wish i could go back to how it was in the mid 90s

Back when my president didn't mind people getting on their knees

Two friends were out golfing one morning.

One of them is just getting ready to tee off when he notices a f**... processing passing on the street adjacent to the golf course.
He stops mid swing, drops his club and takes off his hat, then begins to say a prayer. Once the procession passes, he puts his hat back on, picks up his club and is ready to continue.
That was the sweetest thing I've ever witnessed. It was incredibly touching on your part to take the time to say a prayer for the deceased. Says his friend.
Well, it's the least I can do. After all, we were married for 35 years.

If I recall correctly, in the mid 1900s, Albert Einstein proposed a new theory on space,

and it was about time, too.

Mid age humor..

The guest of a famous painter, who was also known for having ugly children, remarked, "The people in your paintings are much more beautiful than your children". To which the painter replied: I make the pictures in the light, the children in the dark.

The disappearing man.

A man in his mid 40s became convinced that he is disappearing from this world.
Feeling that he could completely vanish any minute now, he walks into a psychiatrist's office and demands to see the Doctor.
the Doc's secretary informs the Doc that they have a walk in, he turns around to his secretary and says "I can't see him now".

The best soccer team in the world

We will put g**... as defenders, since they pressure well from the back.
Arabs, Chinese and Caucasians in mid because they bring color to the field.
Jews will be attackers because it's frowned upon to chase them.
And a 50 year old nun as our goalkeeper.
Because she hasn't let anyone in for three decades straight.

Bob and Jim are on the 18th hole...

And as Bob is about to pitch for the green they notice a f**... procession heading down the road adjacent to the course. Bob stops mid swing, drops his club, removes his hat, bows his head and stands for a moment of silence. "That's very respectful of you, Bob." says Jim. Bob puts his hat back on, picks up his club and says "Well, we were married for 35 years."

what happens when the night isn't young anymore?

It goes through a mid night crisis XD

What's the difference between doing something wrong and a bet with a medium risk?

One is a mistake, the other is a mid stake.

A famous magician decided to quit his job mid show.

So for his final trick he counted in Spanish.
Uno
Dos
And he disappeared.
He left without a tres.

Why do h**... kids wear camouflage?

Because they don't want to be scene.
If you were in high school in the mid 2000s, you get it.

It was the mid 1990s, I was stuck in the desert and I thought I could see an Oasis...

But it was just a Blur.

It's been 10 years since I quit bitting my nails.

Once I hit my mid twenties I was no longer flexible enough to reach my toes.

Why was the Nigerian toddler crying?

He was going through mid life crisis.

The concept of drilling for oil was ridiculous in the mid 19th century.

Now we just see it as groundbreaking.

I saw a guy wearing a stovepipe hat the other day...

...so I said, "Hey! Abraham Lincoln called and he wants..." Then I realized, they didn't have phones in the mid 1800s.

A tenor dies mid performance ...

friends and family say - its ok, he always wanted to go on a high note.

From the turn of the 18th century, to the mid 1960's b**... and w**... were legally forbidden from entering into i**... marriages. The reasoning behind this restriction?

It produced mixed results.

$1 Beers $3 PB&J's $4 h**...

A man leaves work one Friday and passes a bar with a sign outside that reads "$1 Beers $3 PB&J's $4 h**...
He walks in and sits at the bar. A beautiful woman in her mid 20's comes over and asks what he would like. The man orders a beer. She asks if he'd like anything else. The man replies yes, "are you the one who gives the h**...?" The woman says "yes" the man says "Then go wash your hands I want a PB&J

My wife just went into labour...

I think I'm gonna have a mid wife crisis.

Went to the doctors and I said, I hate the west and I want all the infidels dead.

He told me I was going through a mid life Isis

Why didn't set theory become a branch of mathematics until the mid 1800's?

Before then, the only legal union was between man and woman.

Selling a mid wife

Can deliver

In an alternate universe, the Curiosity rover launch moments after lift-off.

As the rover exploded mid air, the broken pieces of Curiosity fell back to the face of Earth and scattered across the land. Unfortunately, a particularly sharp piece just happened to impale a cat walking about outside.
They said that Curiosity killed the cat.

Snoop dogg and CS:GO have something in common

They both smoke mid

What Is Bluetooth ?

When your toothbrush stops working mid brushing

A r**... and a midget get into an accident

The midget gets out of his car, hands on his hips and squeak angrily, "I am not happy!"
The r**... spits and drawls "so which one are you?"

What's the term for an Asian person who gets up and cooks mid sleep?

Sleep-wokking

What do you call a mentally challenged person born in early to mid August?

A leotard.

My dad died at 40. We should've seen it coming when he bought a motorcycle at 20.

They don't call it a mid life crisis for nothing.

Why was the 6 month old Nigerian unhappy?

He was having a mid life crisis.

What's the worst part about being an anti-Vaxxer parent?

Having to deal with the terrible twos and the mid life crisis at the same time.

It's amazing how Seasons work. I'm in Japan, it's mid December and I'm freezing...

But apparently back in the England it's the end of May.

This is the Mid West's preferred beverage.

Mini Soda

Why did the unvaccinated 4 year old cry?

He was experiencing a mid life crisis

Two cannibals were eating a clown .....

One of the cannibals stops mid chew and asked his friend "...... Something taste funny to you?"

Why was the new born baby crying in his anti vax mom hands

He was having a mid life crisis

Friend: Did you hear? Two Norwegian ships had a mid sea collision

Me: Norway!

jokes about mid