Mid Air Jokes
19 mid air jokes and hilarious mid air puns to laugh out loud. Read jokes about mid air that are clean and suitable for kids and friends.
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Funniest Mid Air Short Jokes
Short mid air jokes and puns are one of the best ways to have fun with word play in English. The mid air humour may include short midway jokes also.
- A plane full of Japanese car parts just exploded in mid-air Apparently it's raining Datsun cogs
- Chuck Norris once skydived and the parachute failed to open while mid-air The next day, he demanded a refund.
- Chuck Norris can do the splits in mid air,rotate his hips 360" so fast it lifts him off the ground thus making the Chuck Copter!
- My dog was standing on her hind legs. My dog was standing on her hind legs.
I guess she felt she had to pause in mid air. - There was once a man from bel air who was doing his wife on the stair, but the banister broke so he doubled his s**... and finished her off in mid air!
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Mid Air One Liners
Which mid air one liners are funny enough to crack down and make fun with mid air? I can suggest the ones about flying high and hot air.
- Why are cats always able to land on their feet? Because they can paws in mid-air
- I have the ability to jump out of an aeroplane, mid-air and without a parachute. Once.
Mid Air Funny Jokes And Hilarious Puns.
What funny jokes about mid air you can tell and make people laugh? An example I can give is a clean air pressure jokes that will for sure put a smile on everyones mouth and help you make mid air pranks.
My wife wasn't happy.
True story: I was at the store with my son and my wife. I have a habit of flipping my wedding ring in the air like a coin and catching it. My son saw me do it and tried to grab it in mid air, causing it to fall to the ground. He scrambled to get it and I said, "Son, hand me that! It's expensive!"
My son asked me, "how much did it cost, dad?"
I replied, "my life."
A mathematician is afraid of flying because of the risk of a t**... b**... it in mid air. So he takes a bomb in his hand baggage
"The probability of having a bomb on a plane is very low", he reason, "and the probability of having two bombs on the same plane is virtually zero.
A pilot is flying a plane and shortly after mid-air announcement , forgets to turn off the mic.
He then mentions to his copilot : "I am dating that cute air hostess. After we land , we will go to the hotel and bang. "
The air hostess after hearing this runs towards the front of the plane at full speed to tell the pilot to turn off the mic and hits a blind man's stick and falls down.
The guy sitting on the other side says : "Why are you in such a hurry , we haven't even landed yet! "
In an alternate universe, the Curiosity rover launch moments after lift-off.
As the rover exploded mid air, the broken pieces of Curiosity fell back to the face of Earth and scattered across the land. Unfortunately, a particularly sharp piece just happened to impale a cat walking about outside.
They said that Curiosity killed the cat.
A man walks into a hotel restaurant...
and when he sits down he sees a woman sitting at a table alone.
Then, the woman sneezes, and a glass eye come hurling out of her eye socket.
The man snatches it out of mid air and hands it back to her.
"Thank you." The woman said. "God, this must be so embarrassing, let me make it up to you by buying you dinner."
They start eating and after a few minutes of silence they get talking. They soon find out they have a lot in common.
After getting the woman's number the man says, "You know, you're the most charming person I've ever met. Are you this nice to everyone?"
She replies, "No, you just happened to catch my eye."
A man at a fancy restaurant noticed a gorgeous woman sitting at the next table.
Suddenly she sneezed, causing her glass eye to pop out and fly toward him. The man caught it mid-air.
"I'm so sorry," the woman said as she popped her eye back in. "Let me buy you dinner."
After charming dinner conversation, the woman offered to drive the man home.
The man was flattered. "You're the perfect woman. Are you this nice to every guy you meet?"
"No," she responded. "You just happened to catch my eye!"
An atheist was spending a quiet day fishing
when suddenly his boat was attacked by the Loch Ness monster. In one easy flip, the beast tossed him and his boat high into the air. Then it opened its mouth to s**... both.
As the man sailed head over heels, he cried out, Oh, my God! Please help me!
At once, the ferocious attack scene froze in place, and as the atheist hung in mid-air, a booming voice came down from the clouds, I thought you didn't believe in Me!
Come on God, give me a break!! the man pleaded. Two minutes ago I didn't believe in the LochNess monster either!
(Credit. The Joke Cafe)
Three Bulls
Three bulls are out in a field one day, chewing on some cud.
The first bull, the largest, says "I heard there's a new bull coming in."
The second bull, not quite as large, says " I heard the same thing!"
The third bull, smaller by quite a bit, says "Me too!"
The first bull speaks up again and says "Well, he's not getting any of my cows." The second bull says the same thing and the third bull says "I only have two."
Just then, the old farmer's truck comes rumbling down the road. It stops and out pops the BIGGEST, BADDEST, STRONGEST BULL any of them had ever seen.
Mid chew, the first bull says " I guess I can spare one or two." The second bull says "Me too." But the third bull, the smallest of the three, starts to paw at the ground, and toss his horns in the air and starts flaring his nostrils.
The second bull asks "You're not going to fight him, are you?"
And he says "No! I making sure he knows I'm a bull!"
Problem 67
Bob and Kathy, two construction workers on the roof of a building, are about to raise a keg of nails from the ground by means of a light rope passing over a light frictionless pulley 10.0 m above the ground. Bob weighs 900 N, Kathy 600 N, the keg 300 N, and the nails 600 N. Both workers slip off the roof, and the following unfortunate sequence of events takes place. Hanging together on the rope, Bob and Kathy strike the ground just as the keg hits the pulley. Unnerved by his fall, Bob lets go of the rope, and the keg pulls Kathy up to the roof, where she cracks her head against the pulley but gamely hangs on. However, the nails spill out of the keg when it strikes the ground, and the empty keg rises as Kathy returns to the ground. Finally, she has had enough, lets go of the rope, and remains on the ground, only to be hit by the empty keg again. Ignoring the possible mid-air collisions that merely added insult to injury, how much did Bob and Kathy get when they sued the construction company?
A man goes to audition for the circus
A man goes to audition for the circus. The ringmaster says, "Okay, whatcha got?"
The man climbs up the acrobat's mast and dives straight down, 50 feet and picking up speed. Just as he's about to c**..., he spreads his arms, lifts his head and *SWOOSH!* pulls up and zooms over the ringmaster's head. He continues flying around the tent, swooping low and somersalting mid-air before gracefully coming to a stop on the trapeze tightrope.
"Well, what do you think?" he asks.
The ringmaster replies, "That's all you got? *Bird imitations?!*"