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Microwave Jokes

146 microwave jokes and hilarious microwave puns to laugh out loud. Read jokes about microwave that are clean and suitable for kids and friends.

Discover some of the funniest microwave oven jokes out there! From the NSFL to the classic "What did the microwave oven say to the toaster?," this is the place to get your fill of hilarious microwave-related humor.

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Funniest Microwave Short Jokes

Short microwave jokes and puns are one of the best ways to have fun with word play in English. The microwave humour may include short toaster jokes also.

  1. My husband said our infant son could microwave... And then shook his arm really fast.
    (True story, please groan with me.)
  2. I like my women like I like my microwave Hot, clean, and she'll kill any baby I put inside her.
  3. If you think your microwave spying on you is bad... Your vacuum cleaner has been gathering dirt on you for years.
  4. I like my women like I like my microwaves... Cold on the outside, warm on the inside, and willing and able to kill any baby I put inside them.
  5. Do you know why I don't eat at Chili's or Applebee's? Because i'm old enough to microwave my own food...
  6. My wife asked me why I carry a gun around the house I said decepticons.
    She laughed, I laughed, my microwave laughed.
    I shot the microwave.
  7. If you serve your kids frozen pizza or chicken nuggets for tea you are a terrible parent. I don't care how busy you are, find the time to microwave them first at least.
  8. Why does the government use microwaves to spy on you? Because it's the one place you can't put tin foil.
  9. I like my women like i like my microwave In the kitchen and ready to kill any baby i put inside them.
  10. How do you turn a duck into a blues singer? Put it in the microwave until it's Bill Withers

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Microwave One Liners

Which microwave one liners are funny enough to crack down and make fun with microwave? I can suggest the ones about kitchen appliance and microphone.

  1. What's the opposite of a microwave? A tsunami.
  2. What do you call it when the new US president waves his hand? A microwave.
  3. What is a microwave's beep sound file called? Micro.wav
  4. I finally got a microwave to heat up my leftovers So I was able to quit cold turkey
  5. A microwave and a refrigerator get married. Who gives the speech? The Toaster.
  6. I used to eat at Applebees then I got enough money to buy my own microwave.
  7. What do you call it when a midget waves at you? A microwave.
  8. How long should you microwave fish for? Tuna half minutes.
  9. When a short person waves at you... It's a microwave.
  10. What do you call someone who microwaves hot dogs? Frank Zappa
  11. How do short people greet others? They microwave.
  12. Why the dwarves surf in the kitchen? Because it has microwaves
  13. A laser and a microwave got into an argument I heard it got pretty heated.
  14. I tape microwave popcorn to the ceiling cause it's cheaper than a smoke alarm.
  15. What do you call a short guy waving at you? A microwave.

Microwave Oven Jokes

Here is a list of funny microwave oven jokes and even better microwave oven puns that will make you laugh with friends.

  • Why do hipsters only use the microwave? Because they don't like conventional ovens.
  • God said, "Come forth, John, and you shall recieve eternal life" John came fifth and won a microwave oven
  • TIL people with tiny hands can't use an oven or a range... They can only microwave.
  • What's more fun than a Canadian Microwave? A Dutch Oven.
  • German Did you hear about the new German microwave oven? It seats 25.
  • What do you call a vegetable composer in a microwave? Beet-oven
  • What's black and can't swim? A microwave oven.
  • When is 99 greater than 100? On a microwave oven.
  • What did the oven say to the microwave in bed? You're too quick.
Microwave joke, What did the oven say to the microwave in bed?

Make fun with this list of one liners, jokes and riddles. Each joke is crafted with thought and creativity, delivering punchlines that are unexpected and witty. The humor about microwave can easily lighten the mood and bring smiles to people's faces. This compilation of microwave puns is not just entertaining but also a testament to the art of joke-telling. The jokes in this list are designed to display different humor styles, ensuring that every reader at any age finds something entertaining. Constantly updated, they offer a source of fun that ensures one is always smiling !

Gather Around for Heartwarming Microwave Jokes and Uplifting Humor

What funny jokes about microwave you can tell and make people laugh? One example I can give are clean refrigerator jokes that will for sure put a smile on everyones mouth and help make microwave prank.

What's the difference between a toilet and a microwave?

If your answer was "I don't know", please don't invite me over for dinner.

I like my women like I like my plastic wrap.

Clingy, easy to handle, and microwave and freezer tested.

What does a blonde do when her computer freezes?

She puts in in the microwave.

If you rearrange the letters in the words Faith and Religion, you can make "Microwave."

No, don't test it or question it, just believe me.

Why can't you surf on microwaves?

Because they're too small.

We had a power outage today...

...and my PC, laptop, TV, DVD, iPad & surround sound music system were all shut down.
Then I discovered that my phone battery was flat and I couldn't charge it.To top it off it was snowing outside. So I couldn't play golf and I couldn't fish. I went into the kitchen to make coffee and then I remembered that this also needs power. So does the microwave. So popcorn won't happen.
So I talked with my wife for a few hours. She seems like such a nice person.

What's the difference between a gay and a microwave....

You can't brown a sausage in a microwave

A blonde goes to buy a TV.

A blonde goes out to buy a TV at a department store.
Blonde: I'd like that TV please.
Clerk: Sorry, we don't sell to blondes.
So the blonde goes out and dyes her hair brown. She then goes back to the store.
Blonde: I'd like that TV please.
Clerk: I'm sorry but we don't sell to blondes.
Amazed she goes out and dyes her hair ginger. She later returns to the store.
Blonde: I'd like that TV please.
Clerk: I'm sorry, we don't sell to blondes.
Blonde: How did you know I'm blonde?
Clerk: Because that's a Microwave.

You know you're drunk when...

...you get home, put food in the microwave, and then enter your pin number.

What happens when you put a soul-singing duck in a microwave?

It's Bill Withers.

I've become quite independent since my wife left...

I just put my second load of washing through the microwave.

When I found out my microwave wasn't waterproof...

I was shocked!

TIL grizzly bears are not harmed by microwave radiation.

In fact, they are one among several species of non-polar bear!

I don't go to Applebee's often

I know how to microwave my own meals

Two Chefs get in an argument,

And they split the kitchen right down the middle.
One Chef has the oven and fridge on his side, and the other has the freezer, a spice rack, and a microwave on his.
So the first Chef looks at the other and says
"What are you gonna do? You can't cook anything in a microwave, you're finished."
The second Chef looks over and tells him
"I have thyme on my side."

My hamster died as he lived...

in the microwave.

Sometimes I wear a tinfoil hat.

I'm not one of those wackjobs, it just makes being in the microwave more interesting.

[Dirty] How long does it take a baby to die in the microwave?

I don't know, I lose track of time when I have an e**....

What washes up on tiny beaches?

Microwaves.

Two roommates were arguing...

About who gets to use the microwave first.
Then things started getting heated.

What washes up on small beaches?

Microwaves!

I went to the store to pick up a new capacitor for my broken microwave.

The sales rep. accidentally sold me a flux capacitor instead; and now my microwave turns my chicken sandwiches into egg sandwiches.

Give a man a fish, he'll eat for a day...

Teach a man to microwave a fish and he'll lose the respect of all his co-workers.

They call me the microwave...

Cause i take it out 2 seconds before i finish.

My 8 year old brother came up to me and asked if I wanted to hear a joke, this is how it went

Bro," what washes up on a tiny beach?"
Me," No idea."
Bro," a microwave."
Followed by about 2 seconds of me not getting it then laughing for a solid minute

I keep burning food with my Presidential Debate microwave...

I set it for 2 minutes but it never stops on time.

How do you turn a duck into a popular soul singer?

Stick it in microwave and turn it on until it's Bill Withers.

Daylight Saving Time ends today. So I have to remind myself,

that the clock on my microwave will be wrong for the next several months.

Why was the surfer such a bad cook?

All he could handle was the microwave

I asked a genie for the ability to shoot microwaves from my hands...

Clunk. These are heavy.

How do you make a duck sing soul music?

Put it in the microwave until it's Bill Withers.

Microwaved Food is a lot like Schroedinger's Cat

It could be really hot or stone cold.

My little Hamster is such a laugh!!

He just stays in there on that circle thing going round and round and round for ages until ...
*DING* Then I take him out of the Microwave.

Trump was cleaning his gun in Trump Tower...

Kellyanne Conway walks in and asks,
Kellyanne: "Why do you have a gun?"
Trump: "Obama Spy Drones"
Kellyanne: \*laughs\*
Trump: \*laughs\*
Microwave: \*laughs\*
Trump shoots the Microwave.

Wow, the CIA microwave camera program has really come a long way...

They've gone from photos of potato quality to quality photos of potatoes.

I had a chat with Barack Obama today...

My mum was confused as to why I was talking to the microwave.

I always say good night to my microwave every morning

I'm in a very different timezone that those agents in Washington DC.

A blonde woman walks into a shop

A blonde woman walks into a shop and says
"I'd like to buy that tv"
The man replies
"You cannot"
The woman replies
"Why not?"
The man says "because you're blonde"
So, the woman walks out and dyes her hair brown and returns later that day. She says to the man
"I'd like to buy that tv"
He replies
"You cant because you're blonde"
She says
"What?! How do you know??!"
He says
Because that's not a TV that's a microwave"

What's the difference between a hard and soft shell taco from Taco Bell?

About 25 seconds in the microwave.

A blonde decides to buy a TV

She walks into a store and asks for a TV. The shopkeeper says "We don't sell to blondes."
She gets angry and dyes her hair black. Tomorrow she comes into the same shop, and asks for a TV. The shopkeeper says again, "We don't sell to blondes."
"How did you know I was blonde?"
"This is a microwave store."

You can't cook vegetables in the microwave.

The wheelchairs don't fit.

If there's no God...

...then who spins the plate in microwave?

What do you call a small gesture?

A microwave.

So I was teaching my brother English...

I told him to skip the first "H" when reading or pronouncing words (e.g. honour, hour, honest etc.) Later that day I told him to heat my lunch in the microwave... let's just say I didn't have any lunch.

What do you get when you microwave a monkey?

Rhesus pieces.
I'll let myself out.

What do you call it when a midget greets you with his hand?

A microwave.

Lord said unto John: Come forth, and I will give you eternal life.

But John came fifth, so he won a microwave.

"She puts it in, takes it out, tastes it, then puts it back in...

She really needs to change her microwave!"
*insert 4am informercial*

I'm returning my microwave to Amazon.

It's been a week since I hit the pizza button and they have yet to deliver.

Did you hear about the guy that put his head in a microwave?

We now have concrete evidence that this is not a good idea.

I tried to quit cold turkey...

but then my microwave broke.

I've just ordered an empty cardboard box from Chernobyl.

It was the cheapest microwave I could find.

Do you know why surfers eat their food cold?

Because they don't like microwaves.

What goes round and round and taps on glass?

A baby in a microwave

My girlfriend nicknamed me the "Microwave Meal"

Thirty seconds on full power and I'm finished.

How does a midget chef say hi from a distance?

He microwaves.

I s**... identify as a microwave dinner

I'm done in five minutes and look nothing like the picture

I like my women like I like my microwaves.

Void of intellect and will kill anything alive inside of it.

Why does it feel hot when a midget waves at you?

Cos it's a Microwave

I used to have this on my Tinder profile to introduce myself to guys...

Im like a microwave: easy to turn on, warm on the inside and if you put a baby inside me I'll kill it.

How do kitchen appliances greet each other?

They microwave.

Did you hear the argument over the microwave

I heard it got pretty heated

What's the difference between a quality microwave and someone who knows a quality search engine when they see it?

the microwave goes Bing.

Microwave joke, What's the difference between a quality microwave and someone who knows a quality search engine when

jokes about microwave

Jokes are a form of humor that often involves clever wordplay, puns or unexpected twists in a story. These are usually short narratives or anecdotes crafted with the intent of amusing its audience by ending in an unexpected or humorous punchline. Jokes are a universal form of entertainment that people of all ages like adults, teens, kids and toddlers can enjoy. JokoJokes' FAQ section has answers to questions you may have!

The impact of these microwave jokes can be both social and psychological. They can help to ease tensions, create bonds between people, and even improve overall mental health. The success of a joke often relies on the delivery, timing, and audience. Jokes can be used in various settings, from social gatherings to professional presentations, and are often employed to lighten the mood or enhance a story.