Microwave Jokes
141 microwave jokes and hilarious microwave puns to laugh out loud. Read jokes about microwave that are clean and suitable for kids and friends.
Discover some of the funniest microwave oven jokes out there! From the NSFL to the classic "What did the microwave oven say to the toaster?," this is the place to get your fill of hilarious microwave-related humor.
Funniest Microwave Short Jokes
Short microwave jokes and puns are one of the best ways to have fun with word play in English. The microwave humour may include short toaster jokes also.
- My husband said our infant son could microwave... And then shook his arm really fast.
(True story, please groan with me.) - Do you know why I don't eat at Chili's or Applebee's? Because i'm old enough to microwave my own food...
- If you serve your kids frozen pizza or chicken nuggets for tea you are a terrible parent. I don't care how busy you are, find the time to microwave them first at least.
- Why does the government use microwaves to spy on you? Because it's the one place you can't put tin foil.
- Lord said unto John: Come forth, and I will give you eternal life. But John came fifth, so he won a microwave.
- I've just ordered an empty cardboard box from Chernobyl. It was the cheapest microwave I could find.
- I always say good night to my microwave every morning I'm in a very different timezone that those agents in Washington DC.
- You want to know the worst thing about owls? It's the way they can maintain eye contact when you put them in a microwave.
- What's the difference between a toilet and a microwave? If your answer was "I don't know", please don't invite me over for dinner.
- Moms recipe for Iced Coffee Have Kids.
Make Coffee.
Forget you made coffee.
Put it in the microwave.
Forget you put it in the microwave.
_*DRINK IT COLD*_
Share These Microwave Jokes With Friends
Microwave One Liners
Which microwave one liners are funny enough to crack down and make fun with microwave? I can suggest the ones about kitchen appliance and microphone.
- What's the opposite of a microwave? A tsunami.
- What do you call it when the new US president waves his hand? A microwave.
- What is a microwave's beep sound file called? Micro.wav
- I finally got a microwave to heat up my leftovers So I was able to quit cold turkey
- A microwave and a refrigerator get married. Who gives the speech? The Toaster.
- I used to eat at Applebees then I got enough money to buy my own microwave.
- What do you call it when a midget waves at you? A microwave.
- How long should you microwave fish for? Tuna half minutes.
- What do you call someone who microwaves hot dogs? Frank Zappa
- Why the dwarves surf in the kitchen? Because it has microwaves
- A laser and a microwave got into an argument I heard it got pretty heated.
- I tape microwave popcorn to the ceiling cause it's cheaper than a smoke alarm.
- Why do hipsters only use the microwave? Because they don't like conventional ovens.
- What washes up on small beaches? Microwaves!
- What do you get when you microwave a monkey? Rhesus pieces.
I'll let myself out.
Microwave Oven Jokes
Here is a list of funny microwave oven jokes and even better microwave oven puns that will make you laugh with friends.
- What's more fun than a Canadian Microwave? A Dutch Oven.
- What do you call a vegetable composer in a microwave? Beet-oven
- What's black and can't swim? A microwave oven.
- What did the oven say to the microwave in bed? You're too quick.
Gather Around for Heartwarming Microwave Jokes and Uplifting Humor
What funny jokes about microwave you can tell and make people laugh? An example I can give is a clean refrigerator jokes that will for sure put a smile on everyones mouth and help you make microwave pranks.
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This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
I love the lines the men use to get us into bed: "Please, I'll only put it in for a minute."
What am I...? A microwave?
I'm the kind of guy who stops the microwave at 1 second just to feel like a bomb defuser.
Dance like your microwave isn't watching.
I like my women like I like my plastic wrap.
Clingy, easy to handle, and microwave and freezer tested.
What does a blonde do when her computer freezes?
She puts in in the microwave.
To a necrophiliac, what is the only thing better than a human-sized refrigerator?
A human-sized microwave.
The "Add Min" button on my microwave...
...makes me feel unduly powerful.
If you rearrange the letters in the words Faith and Religion, you can make "Microwave."
No, don't test it or question it, just believe me.
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
What's the difference between a gay and a microwave....
You can't brown a sausage in a microwave
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
A blonde goes to buy a TV.
A blonde goes out to buy a TV at a department store.
Blonde: I'd like that TV please.
Clerk: Sorry, we don't sell to blondes.
So the blonde goes out and dyes her hair brown. She then goes back to the store.
Blonde: I'd like that TV please.
Clerk: I'm sorry but we don't sell to blondes.
Amazed she goes out and dyes her hair ginger. She later returns to the store.
Blonde: I'd like that TV please.
Clerk: I'm sorry, we don't sell to blondes.
Blonde: How did you know I'm blonde?
Clerk: Because that's a Microwave.
You know you're drunk when...
...you get home, put food in the microwave, and then enter your pin number.
TIFU by feeding my mogwai after midnight
Whoops, wrong sub.
By the way, if you see one, just throw it in the microwave for like 45 seconds.
I went to Applebee's for dinner last night
Our food was so good that I asked the waitress to bring out the chef, so they brought out the microwave.
My cat died today.
But on the plus side at least now I know how the microwave works.
I've become quite independent since my wife left...
I just put my second load of washing through the microwave.
Do you know what the worst thing about an owl is?
They maintain eye contact when you microwave them
TIL grizzly bears are not harmed by microwave radiation.
In fact, they are one among several species of non-polar bear!
I don't go to Applebee's often
I know how to microwave my own meals
What Do You Call a Little Tsunami?
A microwave.
Two Chefs get in an argument,
And they split the kitchen right down the middle.
One Chef has the oven and fridge on his side, and the other has the freezer, a spice rack, and a microwave on his.
So the first Chef looks at the other and says
"What are you gonna do? You can't cook anything in a microwave, you're finished."
The second Chef looks over and tells him
"I have thyme on my side."
My hamster died as he lived...
in the microwave.
Sometimes I wear a tinfoil hat.
I'm not one of those wackjobs, it just makes being in the microwave more interesting.
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This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
[Dirty] How long does it take a baby to die in the microwave?
I don't know, I lose track of time when I have an e**....
I'm writinig a book....
It's called *""Pop goes the hamster" and other great microwave games"*
Two roommates were arguing...
About who gets to use the microwave first.
Then things started getting heated.
I went to the store to pick up a new capacitor for my broken microwave.
The sales rep. accidentally sold me a flux capacitor instead; and now my microwave turns my chicken sandwiches into egg sandwiches.
Give a man a fish, he'll eat for a day...
Teach a man to microwave a fish and he'll lose the respect of all his co-workers.
WHAT DO WE WANT!?
CLEARED TIMES ON OUR MICROWAVES!
WHEN DO WE WANT IT?
0:00!
They call me the microwave...
Cause i take it out 2 seconds before i finish.
How do you get a kid out from a microwave?
Please answer before my wife gets home!
My 8 year old brother came up to me and asked if I wanted to hear a joke, this is how it went
Bro," what washes up on a tiny beach?"
Me," No idea."
Bro," a microwave."
Followed by about 2 seconds of me not getting it then laughing for a solid minute
I keep burning food with my Presidential Debate microwave...
I set it for 2 minutes but it never stops on time.
Daylight Saving Time ends today. So I have to remind myself,
that the clock on my microwave will be wrong for the next several months.
Why was the surfer such a bad cook?
All he could handle was the microwave
Have you heard about the new German Microwave?
I heard it can seat 10
I asked a genie for the ability to shoot microwaves from my hands...
Clunk. These are heavy.
Microwaved Food is a lot like Schroedinger's Cat
It could be really hot or stone cold.
My little Hamster is such a laugh!!
He just stays in there on that circle thing going round and round and round for ages until ...
*DING* Then I take him out of the Microwave.
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
Trump was cleaning his gun in Trump Tower...
Kellyanne Conway walks in and asks,
Kellyanne: "Why do you have a gun?"
Trump: "Obama Spy Drones"
Kellyanne: \*laughs\*
Trump: \*laughs\*
Microwave: \*laughs\*
Trump shoots the Microwave.
Wow, the CIA microwave camera program has really come a long way...
They've gone from photos of potato quality to quality photos of potatoes.
I had a chat with Barack Obama today...
My mum was confused as to why I was talking to the microwave.
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This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
If you think your microwave spying on you is bad...
Your vacuum cleaner has been gathering dirt on you for years.
A blonde woman walks into a shop
A blonde woman walks into a shop and says
"I'd like to buy that tv"
The man replies
"You cannot"
The woman replies
"Why not?"
The man says "because you're blonde"
So, the woman walks out and dyes her hair brown and returns later that day. She says to the man
"I'd like to buy that tv"
He replies
"You cant because you're blonde"
She says
"What?! How do you know??!"
He says
Because that's not a TV that's a microwave"
What's the difference between a hard and soft shell taco from Taco Bell?
About 25 seconds in the microwave.
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
A blonde decides to buy a TV
She walks into a store and asks for a TV. The shopkeeper says "We don't sell to blondes."
She gets angry and dyes her hair black. Tomorrow she comes into the same shop, and asks for a TV. The shopkeeper says again, "We don't sell to blondes."
"How did you know I was blonde?"
"This is a microwave store."
You can't cook vegetables in the microwave.
The wheelchairs don't fit.
If there's no God...
...then who spins the plate in microwave?
What do you call a small gesture?
A microwave.
So I was teaching my brother English...
I told him to skip the first "H" when reading or pronouncing words (e.g. honour, hour, honest etc.) Later that day I told him to heat my lunch in the microwave... let's just say I didn't have any lunch.
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
TIL people with tiny hands can't use an oven or a range...
They can only microwave.
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
How do short people greet others?
They microwave.
"She puts it in, takes it out, tastes it, then puts it back in...
She really needs to change her microwave!"
*insert 4am informercial*
How did the two microwaves greet each other?
They 'Waved' :P
How do cells greet one another?
They micro*wave* at eachother.
I'm returning my microwave to Amazon.
It's been a week since I hit the pizza button and they have yet to deliver.
Did you hear about the guy that put his head in a microwave?
We now have concrete evidence that this is not a good idea.
I tried to quit cold turkey...
but then my microwave broke.
How does a small person say goodbye as he is dying from radiation exposure?
He microwaves.
Do you know why surfers eat their food cold?
Because they don't like microwaves.
What goes round and round and taps on glass?
A baby in a microwave
My girlfriend nicknamed me the "Microwave Meal"
Thirty seconds on full power and I'm finished.
Curiosity killed the cat.
Well, that and my microwave.
When is 99 greater than a 100?
on a microwave
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
I s**... identify as a microwave dinner
I'm done in five minutes and look nothing like the picture
