Microsoft Windows Jokes
50 microsoft windows jokes and hilarious microsoft windows puns to laugh out loud. Read jokes about microsoft windows that are clean and suitable for kids and friends.
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Funniest Microsoft Windows Short Jokes
Short microsoft windows jokes and puns are one of the best ways to have fun with word play in English. The microsoft windows humour may include short microsoft office jokes also.
- Don't complain about Microsoft skipping Windows 9. They've never been able to count. They came out with Microsoft DOS without ever releasing Microsoft uno.
- I heard Microsoft tried to change the file path separator in Windows but it received tons of backslash from the community.
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Source: Aaron Peterson, Twitter. - Did you hear about a house built by Microsoft? What it Excels in is the Outlook from its Windows.
- I heard Putin was installing Windows And Microsoft had to accept his terms and conditions.
- Why did microsoft go straight to windows 10 ? They were trying to keep their german market.
- Got myself a Microsoft advent calendar but I'm worried that once I've opened 3 or 4 windows I won't be able to open any more...
- I was walking outside of the Microsoft Store at the mall tonight when my wife asked if I wanted to go in and look at anything. I told her No, I'm just Windows shopping.
- Why is it so drafty in the Microsoft Store? Because it's lined with open windows
Saw the other dad joke about the apple store and couldn't resist - How can you tell something is terribly wrong at Microsoft? Windows hasn't updated in two weeks.
- If someone on the Windows team at Microsoft gets fired... would you say they've been defenestrated?
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Microsoft Windows One Liners
Which microsoft windows one liners are funny enough to crack down and make fun with microsoft windows? I can suggest the ones about windows and apple and windows 10.
- When Chuck Norris updates Windows ...Microsoft accepts his terms and conditions
- Why does Mace Windu hate Microsoft? He's had bad experiences with Windows.
- A Mexican magician works on Microsoft Windows Uno, and *p**...*, DOS is gone without a tres.
- Why did Microsoft not make Windows 9? Because seven eight nine.
- Why did Microsoft named its software Windows? It's founder had enough Gates.
- I really like Windows as an OS. You could say I have a Micro_soft_ spot for it.
- Why does Microsoft hate Apple? Because an iPhone broke its window
- Why did Microsoft skip from Windows 8 to Windows 10? They revived to much XP 👌
- Why won't Microsoft hire any maids? Because they don't do Windows
- The true reason why Microsoft decided to roll with Windows 10 789
- What causes Paul Walker and Microsoft Windows to c**...? Bad drivers
Cheeky Microsoft Windows Jokes that Will Make You and Your Friends Chuckle
What funny jokes about microsoft windows you can tell and make people laugh? An example I can give is a clean windows xp jokes that will for sure put a smile on everyones mouth and help you make microsoft windows pranks.
What is the best evidence that Microsoft has a monopoly? Santa Claus had to switch from Chimneys to Windows.
A helicopter flying over Seattle,with all communication devices down.because of the fog and rain he lost his position.
Desperate the pilot writes on a piece of paper "Where am I?" and sticks it on the windshield. He sees a tall building and surrounds it. The people inside see the note and hurry to help the pilot and they write on the window: " You're inside a helicopter ". The pilot makes a loop and safely lands. Everybody is astonished and ask him how did he do it? He said when he saw the message on the window he immediate knew his position; he realized the tall building was Microsoft because their answers are always technically correct but completely useless
A helicopter was flying around above Seattle...
A helicopter was flying around above Seattle when an electrical malfunction disabled all of the aircraft's electronic navigation and communications equipment.
Due to the clouds and haze, the pilot could not determine the helicopter's position. The pilot saw a tall building, flew toward it, circled, and held up a handwritten sign that said "WHERE AM I?" in large letters. People in the tall building quickly responded to the aircraft, drew a large sign, and held it in a building window. Their sign said "YOU ARE IN A HELICOPTER."
The pilot smiled, waved, looked at his map, determined the course to steer to SEATAC airport, and landed safely. After they were on the ground, the copilot asked the pilot how he had done it.
"I knew it had to be the Microsoft Building, because they gave me a technically correct but completely useless answer."
In a helicopter somewhere over Seattle
There was a helicopter pilot lost over Seattle on a particularly cloudy day. He finally comes up next to an office building and holds up a sign to person in the window. The sign read "WHERE AM I?" The person in window responded with their own sign, which read "IN A HELICOPTER".
The pilot immediately nodded, and flew straight back to airport.
Once on the ground the pilot was asked how he knew where he was. His response was, "I knew I was at the Microsoft headquarters when I received an equally accurate and useless answer".
Three engineers
There are three engineers heading to their college reunion in a car; an electrical engineer, a chemical engineer and a Microsoft engineer. The car breaks down along the way for seemingly no reason.
The electrical engineer suggests testing the electronics of the car and attempt to find out if a fault might have occurred.
The chemical engineer, suggests that maybe the fuel is becoming emulsified and getting stopped up.
Then, the Microsoft engineer, comes up with a "Microsoft Solution": Close all the windows, get out, get back in, then open the windows again, then he's positive it will work!
Source: One of my old professors but, it's probably somewhere on the internet.
HELISOFT
A helicopter was flying around above Seattle when an electrical malfunction disabled all of the aircraft's electronic navigation and communications equipment.
Due to the clouds and haze, the pilot could not determine the helicopter's position. The pilot saw a tall building, flew toward it, circled, and held up a handwritten sign that said "WHERE AM I?" in large letters. People in the tall building quickly responded to the aircraft, drew a large sign, and held it in a building window. Their sign said "YOU ARE IN A HELICOPTER."
The pilot smiled, waved, looked at his map, determined the course to steer to SEATAC airport, and landed safely. After they were on the ground, the copilot asked the pilot how he had done it.
"I knew it had to be the Microsoft Building, because they gave me a technically correct but completely useless answer."
Microsoft has realized that all their products get better PR by naming it after Halo mythology.
I'm expecting the next Windows version to be Windows 117.
I hate the new 'Edge' browser Microsoft implemented in Windows 10...
...It's so pointless!
Why did Microsoft go straight from Windows 8 to Windows 10?
BECAUSE SEVEN ATE NINE
*drops mic*
Microsoft just announced an operating system designed for the black community.
It's called Tinted Windows.
Microsoft
Every single one of their products.
Mostly Windows, Office and ESPECIALLY Office Online.
A mechanical engineer, an electrical engineer, and an MCSE are trying to fix a car...
The mechanical engineer proposes taking everything apart, inspecting all of the moving parts to ensure that they're running smoothly together, and then put everything back together. He is adamant that this is the best approach.
The electrical engineer strongly disagrees, and wants to check all of the wiring to make sure that it's not causing the problem.
They turn to the Microsoft engineer, who appears to be deep in thought. Finally, he says, "let's just close all the windows and open them again."
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A Mexican magician works on Microsoft Windows
Uno, and *p**...*, DOS is gone without a tres.
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
I don't like Windows OS anymore
Microsoft thinks alt-right is the way to make forward progress.
How do you spot a windows os programmer at a nudist's beach?
Keep an eye out for that Microsoft thing.
If Apple ever sells their self-driving car
Microsoft will make a lot of money. All of the cars will have to use Windows.
How to say in a short sentence, when you give money to Microsoft for their Windows and Office?
You pay the Bill.
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
Windows can be fun!
**Client:** How good are you guys at PowerPoint?
**IT Expert:** We Excel at it...
**Client:** Was that a Microsoft Office pun?
**IT Expert:** Word.