Microsoft Jokes

Discover our top Microsoft jokes that poke fun at Microsoft Office, Excel, Teams, Windows, Teams Meeting, Outlook, Edge, Azure, Xbox, IBM and the founder! Get ready to have a laugh and create some lighthearted office moments.

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Best Short Microsoft Jokes

These are our top microsoft puns. Have fun with a good microsoft joke in English with simple microsoft humour.

  1. Corona must have hit India hard... I´ve not recieved a single phone call this week from
    Microsoft to warn me about a virus on my computer.
  2. Microsoft is working on software for self-driving vehicles. I can't wait until my car suddenly stops in the middle of the highway and reboots to install updates.
  3. Today I discovered someone had stolen my activation for Microsoft Office... I don't know who you but I will find you, you have my word.
  4. I just found out Microsoft bought Skype for 8.5 billion dollars. Idiots...they should have just downloaded it.
  5. How many Microsoft executives does it take to screw in a lightbulb? None. They just redefine 'darkness' as an industry standard.
  6. If you were to write a direct, very short introduction for Microsoft Office's word processor, it might be a... ...forward four-word foreword for Word.
  7. Someone stole my Microsoft office from my laptop. I will find you and I will get you. You have my Word.
  8. Microsoft Boss : How good are you at making spreadsheet?
    Me : I excel at it
    Boss : Was that a Microsoft office pun?
    Me : word
  9. Don't complain about Microsoft skipping Windows 9. They've never been able to count. They came out with Microsoft DOS without ever releasing Microsoft uno.
  10. To the person that stole my copy of Microsoft Office, I will find you and kill you. You have my Word.
Microsoft joke, To the person that stole my copy of Microsoft Office, I will find you and kill you.

Make fun with this list of one liners, gags and riddles. Each joke is crafted with thought and creativity, delivering punchlines that are unexpected and witty. The humor found in these microsoft jokes can easily lighten the mood and bring smiles to people's faces. This compilation of microsoft puns is not just entertaining but also a testament to the art of joke-telling. The jokes in this list are designed to display different humor styles, ensuring that every reader at any age finds something entertaining. Constantly updated, these jokes offer a source of fun that ensures one is always smiling !

Microsoft One Liners

Which microsoft dad jokes are funny enough to crack down and make fun with microsoft?

  1. To whoever stole my copy of Microsoft Office: I will find you.. You have my Word.
  2. Whoever stole my Microsoft Office, I'm coming after you... You have my word
  3. Who ever stole my copy of Microsoft Office is in trouble. You have my Word.
  4. To whomever stole my Microsoft office, I will find you You have my Word.
  5. When Chuck Norris updates Windows ...Microsoft accepts his terms and conditions
  6. To the person who stole my Microsoft Office Account... I will find you. You have my word.
  7. Someone Stole My Microsoft Office and They're Going To Pay For It, You Have My Word.
  8. Someone stole my copy of Microsoft office.. I will track you down, you have my word.
  9. Why is Microsoft so bad at writing music? Because they can only use OneNote!
  10. Microsoft Edge is a big improvement over IE... It downloads Chrome twice as fast!
  11. How soft is Bill Gate's pillow? Microsoft.
  12. The opposite of Microsoft Office is... MacroHard OnFire
  13. Did you hear that Microsoft is giving away Office to parents? Word to your mother.
  14. To whoever stole my Microsoft 365 activation key: I will find you. You have my Word.
  15. I took a Microsoft Office class and got an A I Excelled at it.

Microsoft Office Jokes

Here is a list of funny microsoft office jokes and even better microsoft office puns that will make you laugh with friends.

  • I thought bill gates would cave and release the new Microsoft Office early. But he kept his Word.
  • In an interview: "How good are you with Microsoft PowerPoint?" "I Excel at it."
    "Did you just make a Microsoft Office pun, sir?"
  • What's the opposite of Microsoft Office? MegaHard OnFire
  • Someone had the audacity to delete every version of Microsoft Office from my computer. I have no Words.
  • To the man who stole my Microsoft Office, I'm going to find you..... have my WORD.
  • To the software thieves who robbed me last night. Don't think you can get away with taking Microsoft Office away from me. I will find you. You have my Word.
  • Somebody stole my Microsoft Office... But I'll get my revenge. You have my Word.
  • Someone stole my Microsoft Office account Whoever it was, I'll make you pay
    You have my Word.
  • So, I was at work the other day and... My manager asked,
    "How good are you at PowerPoint?"
    I said, "I Excel at it."
    He replied, "Was that a Microsoft Office pun?"
    I was like, "Word."
  • This happened at a meeting with my boss: Boss: How good are you at PowerPoint?
    Me: I Excel at it!
    Boss: Was that a Microsoft Office pun?
    Me: Word.

Microsoft Windows Jokes

Here is a list of funny microsoft windows jokes and even better microsoft windows puns that will make you laugh with friends.

  • I heard Microsoft tried to change the file path separator in Windows but it received tons of backslash from the community.
    Source: Aaron Peterson, Twitter.
  • Did you hear about a house built by Microsoft? What it Excels in is the Outlook from its Windows.
  • I heard Putin was installing Windows And Microsoft had to accept his terms and conditions.
  • Why did microsoft go straight to windows 10 ? They were trying to keep their german market.
  • Got myself a Microsoft advent calendar but I'm worried that once I've opened 3 or 4 windows I won't be able to open any more...
  • Why does Mace Windu hate Microsoft? He's had bad experiences with Windows.
  • If apple made a car would it have windows? No, Microsoft wouldn't allow it.
  • A Mexican magician works on Microsoft Windows Uno, and *p**...*, DOS is gone without a tres.
  • I was walking outside of the Microsoft Store at the mall tonight when my wife asked if I wanted to go in and look at anything. I told her No, I'm just Windows shopping.
  • Why is it so drafty in the Microsoft Store? Because it's lined with open windows

    Saw the other dad joke about the apple store and couldn't resist

Microsoft Excel Jokes

Here is a list of funny microsoft excel jokes and even better microsoft excel puns that will make you laugh with friends.

  • What do men and Microsoft Excel have in common? They turn everything into dates, no matter what.
  • A lot of Microsoft employees are former incels They call themselves "Microsoft Excels."
  • I took a Microsoft Office class in high school. I Excelled in it.
  • How good are you at PowerPoint? - I Excel at it.
    - Was that a Microsoft office pun?
    - Word.
  • If you pirate Microsoft Office You will not Excel.
  • What do you call an Ant who is very good at Microsoft Excel? Excelant
  • I really excel at Microsoft puns. You've to take my word for it.
  • Overused joke. Hope you like it anyways. Person 1: Do you know how to use Outlook?
    Person 2: As a matter of fact, I Excel at it.
    Person 1: Was that a Microsoft Office pun?
    Person 2: Word.
  • I would like to work as a janitor in Microsoft. I could see myself excel in that job.
  • ¿Cuál es el programa de Microsoft favorito de Stan Lee? Excel si or no

Microsoft Edge Jokes

Here is a list of funny microsoft edge jokes and even better microsoft edge puns that will make you laugh with friends.

  • I get anxious whenever I have to use the default Microsoft web browser Using Firefox helps take the *Edge* off.
  • I'm so annoyed at how much Microsoft tries to make me use their browser... It's pushing me to the Edge
  • Chrome and Microsoft edge were having an argument when suddenly... Microsoft edge stopped responding
  • A knife with a foam blade? Microsoft Edge.
  • Why are Microsoft employees never relaxed? Because they're always on Edge.
  • I never understood why people hate Internet Explorer and Microsoft Edge so much I am always able to flawlessly download the Firefox Installer using them.
  • I'm like Microsoft Edge Nobody likes me, but I'm edgy
  • What browser do Linkin Park use? Microsoft Edge
  • What you call when you delete Microsoft Edge browser from your computer? Cutting Edge technology!
  • I just opened up Microsoft Edge... Now I can download Google Chrome in style.
Microsoft joke, I just opened up Microsoft Edge...

Uproarious Microsoft Jokes to Have a Laugh Out Loud Good Time

What funny jokes about microsoft to tell and make people laugh ? Check out these list of good jokes that will for sure put a smile on everyones mouth and help make microsoft prank.

I had to quit my job as a Microsoft delivery man

It got awkward telling people I was giving word to their mother.

The Great Writer

There was once a young man who, in his youth, professed his desire to become a great writer.
When asked to define great, he said, "I want to write stuff that the whole world will read, stuff that people will react to on a truly emotional level, stuff that will make them scream, cry, howl in pain and anger!"
He now works for Microsoft writing error messages.

A helicopter was flying around above Seattle...

A helicopter was flying around above Seattle when an electrical malfunction disabled all of the aircraft's electronic navigation and communications equipment.
Due to the clouds and haze, the pilot could not determine the helicopter's position. The pilot saw a tall building, flew toward it, circled, and held up a handwritten sign that said "WHERE AM I?" in large letters. People in the tall building quickly responded to the aircraft, drew a large sign, and held it in a building window. Their sign said "YOU ARE IN A HELICOPTER."
The pilot smiled, waved, looked at his map, determined the course to steer to SEATAC airport, and landed safely. After they were on the ground, the copilot asked the pilot how he had done it.
"I knew it had to be the Microsoft Building, because they gave me a technically correct but completely useless answer."

If Microsoft ever makes a product that doesn't s**......'ll be a vacuum!

Microsoft will start making ...

vacuum cleaners. It will be the only thing they make that doesn't s**....

Three engineers were driving down the road.

An electrical engineer, a chemical engineer, and a Microsoft engineer. (Shut up, just go with it). Suddenly their car sputters to a halt.
The electrical engineer says it has to be a problem with the electric system.
The chemical engineer thinks it's a problem in the fuel system.
Then they both look at the Windows engineer... He just says, "Perhaps we should all get out and back in again"

An aspiring writer once said, I want to write stuff that the whole world will read, stuff that people will react to on a truly emotional level, stuff that will make them scream, cry, howl in pain and anger!

He now writes error messages for the Microsoft Corporation.

Did you hear about Microsoft buying Minecraft for several million dollars?

If only they realised that Minecraft cost 30$.

What kind of cereal does Microsoft make?

Wind O's

What does Microsoft mean when it says "about 10 seconds remaining?"

Hold on I'll tell you in 5 minutes.

This mothers day send the gift of Microsoft Office

Word to your mother

What does it say on the door of the Microsoft store?

No shirt, no shoes, no Surface.

A man in a job interview.

Interviewer: "This job requires you to know Powerpoint, how skilled are you with the program"
Man: "Well, I Excel in Powerpoint"
Interviewer: "Did you just make a Microsoft Office pun?"
Man: "Word."

Now that Microsoft is so big, should it be called Macrosoft

So I heard Microsoft pulled the plug after their chat robot slung slurs, ripped Obama and denied the Holocaust...

I guess there wasn't enough room for two Trumps in the Republican party.

I went to bed with a 7 and woke up with a 10.

Forced upgrades should be i**..., Microsoft.

How did Micro-soft get it's name?

Because Bill Gates has a 3.5 inch floppy

Why couldn't Bill Gates get any girls?

His hardware was Microsoft

69 years ago

both India and Pakistan got independence on this day.
Indians have become heads of Google, Microsoft, Pepsico, Jaguar, Land Rover and
Pakistanis have become heads of Taliban, Al-Qaeda, Jammat U Dawa, Hijbul Mujahideen
Also India entered Mars but Pakistan still trying to enter India.

I was going to invest in the Microsoft HoloLens but...

...Their projections weren't very good.

What does it take to break a Nokia phone?


What do you call a person with micropenis and erectile dysfunction?


A Microsoft Dev walks into a room....

Bethesda is working on Skyrim remastered 4k edition for the new xbox.
Microsoft Dev "Woah that screenshot looks cool"
Bethesda Worker: "That's not a screenshot, it''s the game"

When Microsoft and Apple ship faulty products

Microsoft: We will fix that faulty battery timer through a software update. *never fixes it though*
Apple: *quietly removes the battery timer*

First meeting

I remember my first meeting with my manager at my old job.
My manager asked,
"How good are you at PowerPoint?"
I said, "I excel at it."
He replied, "was that a Microsoft Office pun?"
I was like, "Word."

How many Sony and Microsoft fanboys does it take to turn on a lightbulb?

I don't know. They won't go near the Switch.

A guy stole my Microsoft Office software. I told him "I'll get you back, you have my word."

The XBox One X is Microsoft's new console

The short of that is XBOX, they've now come full circle, or 360.

I got kicked out of Microsoft store ...

I was merely scratching the Surface ...

What did microsoft say to the attractive girl in the room?

Can I c**... at your place tonight?

Failure is not an option

It comes bundled with your Microsoft package

The Jew says...

A Catholic, a Protestant, a Muslim and a Jew were in a discussion during a dinner.

Catholic: I have a large fortune… I am going to buy Citibank!

Protestant: I am very wealthy and will buy General Motors!

Muslim: I am a fabulously rich prince… I intend to purchase Microsoft!

They all wait for the Jew to speak…

The Jew stirs his coffee, places the spoon neatly on the table, takes a sip of his coffee,
looks at them and casually says: I'm not selling!!

What do Microsoft and Burger King have in common?

They both hate big Macs.

To the coworker that stole my copy of Microsoft Office...

I will find you. I will get it back.
You have my Word.

Why do Microsoft products cost money?

You gotta pay the Bill

I'm taking a Microsoft incel class.

So I can spread sheets by myself

I told my girlfriend that my w**... is like a computer

She said "is it because its like a hard drive and is made of metal"
Wait till she finds out its more like "" microsoft and has a lot of viruses""

My friend promised to give me one of his old Microsoft Office licenses.

He gave me his Word.

How many Microsoft engineers does it take to change a light bulb ?

They redefine broken as the new standard.

The day Microsoft makes a product that doesn't s**......

Is the day they make a vacuum cleaner.

Did you hear the latest Microsoft Office update can cure depression?

It gives you an improved Outlook

Where do Microsoft employees go to work?

a Microsoft office.

Using Microsoft Word

**moves image 1mm to the right**
4 new pages appear.
Global warming.
Alien invasion.

Whoever stole my copy of Microsoft Office...

I will find you; you have my Word. You've taken my one only good Outlook in life. Seriously though, how did you gain Access & why did you only leave OneNote?

Why does Bill Gates make for a terrible medical expert?

Because he can't get rid of viruses in Microsoft either.

What did Microsoft say so everyone could trust them?

You have our word.

What did the programmer say when he bought a Microsoft Office subscription?

Hello Word

Microsoft joke, What did the programmer say when he bought a Microsoft Office subscription?

Jokes are a form of humor that often involves clever wordplay, puns or unexpected twists in a story. These are usually short narratives or anecdotes crafted with the intent of amusing its audience by ending in an unexpected or humorous punchline. Jokes are a universal form of entertainment that people of all ages like kids and toddlers can enjoy. They can be verbal, as in a play on words, or narrative, often involving a set-up and a punchline. JokoJokes has it all! Jokes in Spanish are also found. Teens are often joking with 4 year olds and 6 year olds. Found out more in our Jokes FAQ section

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The impact of these microsoft jokes can be both social and psychological. They can help to ease tensions, create bonds between people, and even improve overall mental health. The success of a joke often relies on the delivery, timing, and audience. Jokes can be used in various settings, from social gatherings to professional presentations, and are often employed to lighten the mood or enhance a story.