The Best 87 Microsoft Jokes

Following is our collection of funny Microsoft jokes. There are some microsoft linux jokes no one knows (to tell your friends) and to make you laugh out loud.

Take your time to read those puns and riddles where you ask a question with answers, or where the setup is the punchline. We hope you will find these microsoft viruses puns funny enough to tell and make people laugh.

Top 10 of the Funniest Microsoft Jokes and Puns

Someone stole my copy of Microsoft office..

I will track you down, you have my word.

I had to quit my job as a Microsoft delivery man

It got awkward telling people I was giving word to their mother.

The Great Writer

There was once a young man who, in his youth, professed his desire to become a great writer.

When asked to define great, he said, "I want to write stuff that the whole world will read, stuff that people will react to on a truly emotional level, stuff that will make them scream, cry, howl in pain and anger!"

He now works for Microsoft writing error messages.

Microsoft joke, The Great Writer

If Microsoft ever makes a product that doesn't suck...

...it'll be a vacuum!

I thought Bill Gates would cave and release the new Microsoft Office early.

But he kept his Word.


Microsoft will start making ...

vacuum cleaners. It will be the only thing they make that doesn't suck.

Who ever stole my copy of Microsoft Office is in trouble.

You have my Word.

Microsoft joke, Who ever stole my copy of Microsoft Office is in trouble.

Three engineers were driving down the road.

An electrical engineer, a chemical engineer, and a Microsoft engineer. (Shut up, just go with it). Suddenly their car sputters to a halt.

The electrical engineer says it has to be a problem with the electric system.

The chemical engineer thinks it's a problem in the fuel system.

Then they both look at the Windows engineer... He just says, "Perhaps we should all get out and back in again"

An aspiring writer once said, I want to write stuff that the whole world will read, stuff that people will react to on a truly emotional level, stuff that will make them scream, cry, howl in pain and anger!

He now writes error messages for the Microsoft Corporation.

Whoever stole my Microsoft Office, I'm coming after you...

You have my word

What kind of cereal does Microsoft make?

Wind O's

You can explore microsoft founder reddit one liners, including funnies and gags. Read them and you will understand what jokes are funny? Those of you who have teens can tell them clean microsoft processor dad jokes. There are also microsoft puns for kids, 5 year olds, boys and girls.


Somebody stole my Microsoft Office...

But I'll get my revenge. You have my Word.

What does Microsoft mean when it says "about 10 seconds remaining?"

Hold on I'll tell you in 5 minutes.

Somebody told the terminator to update his Microsoft windows, his response-

"I still love vista, baby"

This mothers day send the gift of Microsoft Office

Word to your mother

What does it say on the door of the Microsoft store?

No shirt, no shoes, no Surface.

Microsoft joke, What does it say on the door of the Microsoft store?

If you were to write a direct, very short introduction for Microsoft Office's word processor, it might be a...

...forward four-word foreword for Word.

Why did microsoft go straight to windows 10 ?

They were trying to keep their german market.

A man in a job interview.

Interviewer: "This job requires you to know Powerpoint, how skilled are you with the program"

Man: "Well, I Excel in Powerpoint"

Interviewer: "Did you just make a Microsoft Office pun?"

Man: "Word."


Now that Microsoft is so big, should it be called Macrosoft

How soft is Bill Gate's pillow?

Microsoft.

How many Microsoft executives does it take to screw in a lightbulb?

None. They just redefine 'darkness' as an industry standard.

Did you hear that Microsoft is giving away Office to parents?

Word to your mother.

I went to bed with a 7 and woke up with a 10.

Forced upgrades should be illegal, Microsoft.

Someone had the audacity to delete every version of Microsoft Office from my computer.

I have no Words.

How did Micro-soft get it's name?

Because Bill Gates has a 3.5 inch floppy

Why couldn't Bill Gates get any girls?

His hardware was Microsoft

To whoever stole my copy of Microsoft Office: I will find you..

You have my Word.

So, I was at work the other day and...

My manager asked,
"How good are you at PowerPoint?"
I said, "I Excel at it."
He replied, "Was that a Microsoft Office pun?"
I was like, "Word."

I was going to invest in the Microsoft HoloLens but...

...Their projections weren't very good.

What does it take to break a Nokia phone?

Microsoft.

In an interview: "How good are you with Microsoft PowerPoint?"

"I Excel at it."

"Did you just make a Microsoft Office pun, sir?"

"Word."

Got myself a Microsoft advent calendar

but I'm worried that once I've opened 3 or 4 windows I won't be able to open any more...

What do you call a person with micropenis and erectile dysfunction?

Microsoft

A Microsoft Dev walks into a room....

Bethesda is working on Skyrim remastered 4k edition for the new xbox.

Microsoft Dev "Woah that screenshot looks cool"

Bethesda Worker: "That's not a screenshot, it's...it's the game"

When Microsoft and Apple ship faulty products

Microsoft: We will fix that faulty battery timer through a software update. *never fixes it though*

Apple: *quietly removes the battery timer*

First meeting

I remember my first meeting with my manager at my old job.

My manager asked,

"How good are you at PowerPoint?"

I said, "I excel at it."

He replied, "was that a Microsoft Office pun?"

I was like, "Word."

How many Sony and Microsoft fanboys does it take to turn on a lightbulb?

I don't know. They won't go near the Switch.

I just found out Microsoft bought Skype for 8.5 billion dollars.

Idiots...they should have just downloaded it.

A guy stole my Microsoft Office software. I told him "I'll get you back, you have my word."

Why is Microsoft so bad at writing music?

Because they can only use OneNote!

To the software thieves who robbed me last night.

Don't think you can get away with taking Microsoft Office away from me. I will find you. You have my Word.

Microsoft Edge is a big improvement over IE...

It downloads Chrome twice as fast!

Microsoft

Boss : How good are you at making spreadsheet?

Me : I excel at it

Boss : Was that a Microsoft office pun?

Me : word

To the man who stole my Microsoft Office, I'm going to find you.....

....you have my WORD.

I got kicked out of Microsoft store ...

I was merely scratching the Surface ...

What did microsoft say to the attractive girl in the room?

Can I crash at your place tonight?

The Jew says...

A Catholic, a Protestant, a Muslim and a Jew were in a discussion during a dinner.

Catholic: I have a large fortune… I am going to buy Citibank!

Protestant: I am very wealthy and will buy General Motors!

Muslim: I am a fabulously rich prince… I intend to purchase Microsoft!

They all wait for the Jew to speak…

The Jew stirs his coffee, places the spoon neatly on the table, takes a sip of his coffee,
looks at them and casually says: I'm not selling!!

Someone Stole My Microsoft Office and They're Going To Pay For It,

You Have My Word.

Someone stole my Microsoft office from my laptop. I will find you and I will get you.

You have my Word.

To the person who stole my Microsoft Office Account...

I will find you. You have my word.

Microsoft is working on software for self-driving vehicles.

I can't wait until my car suddenly stops in the middle of the highway and reboots to install updates.

I'm like Microsoft Edge

Nobody likes me, but I'm edgy

Chrome and Microsoft edge were having an argument when suddenly...

Microsoft edge stopped responding

To the coworker that stole my copy of Microsoft Office...

I will find you. I will get it back.

You have my Word.

Why do Microsoft products cost money?

You gotta pay the Bill

This happened at a meeting with my boss:

Boss: How good are you at PowerPoint?

Me: I Excel at it!

Boss: Was that a Microsoft Office pun?

Me: Word.

I'm taking a Microsoft incel class.

So I can spread sheets by myself

I told my girlfriend that my weiner is like a computer

She said "is it because its like a hard drive and is made of metal"

Wait till she finds out its more like "" microsoft and has a lot of viruses""

I'm so annoyed at how much Microsoft tries to make me use their browser...

It's pushing me to the Edge

Today I discovered someone had stolen my activation for Microsoft Office...

I don't know who you but I will find you, you have my word.

My friend promised to give me one of his old Microsoft Office licenses.

He gave me his Word.

A knife with a foam blade?

Microsoft Edge.

How many Microsoft engineers does it take to change a light bulb ?

None.

They redefine broken as the new standard.

The day Microsoft makes a product that doesn't suck...

Is the day they make a vacuum cleaner.

Why are Microsoft employees never relaxed?

Because they're always on Edge.

Did you hear the latest Microsoft Office update can cure depression?

It gives you an improved Outlook

Using Microsoft Word

**moves image 1mm to the right**

4 new pages appear.

Global warming.

Alien invasion.

Armageddon.

Whoever stole my copy of Microsoft Office...

I will find you; you have my Word. You've taken my one only good Outlook in life. Seriously though, how did you gain Access & why did you only leave OneNote?

Why does Bill Gates make for a terrible medical expert?

Because he can't get rid of viruses in Microsoft either.

Someone stole my Microsoft Office account

Whoever it was, I'll make you pay
You have my Word.

To the person that stole my copy of Microsoft Office, I will find you and kill you.

You have my Word.

I've created a writing software to rival Microsoft.

It's their Word against mine.

What's the opposite of Microsoft Office?

MegaHard OnFire

The opposite of Microsoft Office is...

MacroHard OnFire

Bill created Microsoft and Steve created Apple

I must say by doing so, they opened a lot of Gates for Jobs.

A thief took my Microsoft Office license key

I'll come and get you thief! You have my Word

If apple made a car would it have windows?

No, Microsoft wouldn't allow it.

What did Microsoft employees say to Bill Gates after his motivational speech?

Word.

A lot of Microsoft employees are former incels

They call themselves "Microsoft Excels."

Did you hear about a house built by Microsoft?

What it Excels in is the Outlook from its Windows.

To the person who stole my registration key for Microsoft Office:

I will find you!

You have my word

People who don't use Microsoft office

are often called Libretarians.

I wonder why Microsoft has opened an office inside my computer.

These predatory businesses are getting out of hand.

We learned about oxymorons.

It was very fun, there were many examples.


freezer burn, original copy, exact estimate, truthful politician, caring insurance, Microsoft Works, and more!

Corona must have hit India hard...

IΒ΄ve not recieved a single phone call this week from
Microsoft to warn me about a virus on my computer.

Bill Gates recently split up with Melinda Gates, who will take half of his belongings, including Microsoft office.

But she will only get Microsoft Excel and Powerpoint, because he always keeps his Word.



shoutout u/Duttywood

Just think that there are jokes based on truth that can bring down governments, or jokes which make girl laugh. Many of the microsoft zune jokes and puns are jokes supposed to be funny, but some can be offensive. When jokes go too far, are mean or racist, we try to silence them and it will be great if you give us feedback every time when a joke become bullying and inappropriate.

We suggest to use only working microsoft icar piadas for adults and blagues for friends. Some of the dirty witze and dark jokes are funny, but use them with caution in real life. Try to remember funny jokes you've never heard to tell your friends and will make you laugh.

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