The Best 35 Microphone Jokes

Following is our collection of funny Microphone jokes. There are some microphone stereo jokes no one knows (to tell your friends) and to make you laugh out loud.

Take your time to read those puns and riddles where you ask a question with answers, or where the setup is the punchline. We hope you will find these microphone audio puns funny enough to tell and make people laugh.

Top 10 Funniest Microphone Jokes and Puns

It's 1.2.12 today..

Good day to test a microphone.

National Poetry Contest - Timbuktu

For the record, this is not my joke. I heard somebody tell it then found it online.

" The National Poetry Contest had come down to two semifinalists: a Yale graduate and a redneck from Wyoming. They were given a word, then allowed two minutes to study the word and come up with a poem that contained the word. The word they were given was "Timbuktu".

First to recite his poem was the Yale graduate. He stepped to the microphone and said:

Slowly across the desert sand
Trekked a lonely caravan.
Men on camels, two by two
Destination---Timbuktu.

The crowd went crazy! No way could the redneck top that, they thought. The redneck calmly made his way to the microphone and recited:

Me and Tim a-huntin went,
Met three whores in a pop up tent.
They was three, and we was two,
So I bucked one, and Timbuktu.

The redneck won hands down!

Hypnotist

I felt sorry for the hypnotist I saw last night at the show in Paris. He hypnotized 7 guys then tripped over the microphone and yelled "Baise moi"......What happened next will haunt me forever...

What happens when if you eat a microphone?

You end up with a stomach bug.

jokes about microphone

A boy is making sure a microphone works for an open bar stand up night.

Aa boy, not much older than 12 or 13, comes up to the mic and says
"Ice, ice, icicle".
"Pop, pop, popsicle".
"Test," and the crowd stares in horror as the inevitable is going to happen.
"Test, testing one two three"


Did you hear about the chemist who mistook his measuring cylinder for a microphone?

He spoke volumes.

I tried beat boxing once, the microphone ' s reaction was shocking.

Love you Mitch.

Microphone joke, I tried beat boxing once, the microphone ' s reaction was shocking.

So I was on a plane when the pilot makes his announcement..

"We will be arriving at our destination in 3 hours..." But he forgot to turn off the microphone and says to his co-pilot "Ahhh, I could really do with a BJ and a coffee right now!". So a flight attendant runs to the front of the plane and as she ran past I then said "HEY! Don't forget the coffee!"

What do you call a black guy with an Afro?

A microphone

Ooooh it's ever so sad

At a boat rental company, the radio operator said into the microphone: "boat 99, your hour is up, please head in."
An employee walks up to him and says: "We only have 75 boats, sir there is no boat 99."
The radio operator says: "Boat 66, are you in trouble?"

If Hitler made a Microphone company...

...it'd be called "The Third Mic".

You can explore microphone trance reddit one liners, including funnies and gags. Read them and you will understand what jokes are funny? Those of you who have teens can tell them clean microphone earphones dad jokes. There are also microphone puns for kids, 5 year olds, boys and girls.


I have a Polish friend who does microphone tests for bands.

I have a Czech one two. Czech one two. Czech one two.

I went to a High School pep rally....

The principal had announced earlier that day that he would make an inspirational speech for us. At the rally, he walked up to the microphone for his speech. But, all he did was look at the crowd, smiled, and stepped down.

We were left speechless.

..Trump said "Buy american, Hire american"

Standing on an Ikea podium from *Sweden*, behind bullet proof by Saint Gobain Glass from *France*, smiling at a 4K Sony *Japanese* Video camera, speaking into a Dolby Sennheiser *German* microphone, with vigorous hand gestures giving a glimpse of a Rolex under the cuff made in *Switzerland*

he patriotically said ..*"Buy American, Hire American, Stop Immigrants".* while standing beside a *Slovenian wife*

There's this new cryptocurrency called Decibel. You just yell in your microphone to get money...

It's a sound investment.

I always carry a microphone and some lube...

in case I need to bust a nut and a rhyme at the same time

Microphone joke, I always carry a microphone and some lube...

Went to the store yesterday to buy a cherry and a microphone stand.

Bought a Bing, bought a boom.

I had to give a talk the other day and my microphone wouldn't work.

It was a real speech impediment.

I feel bad for the hypnotist I saw yesterday

He hypnotized 7 guys then dropped the microphone on his foot and screamed:
F*ck me


Next time you have to test a microphone:

"Ice, ice, icicle. Bice, bice, bicycle. Test, test, testing 1, 2, 3."

I'm pretty sure I successfully repaired my friends microphone the other day

Still waiting for feedback

I just realized the sub's logo is a microphone.

There's no joke. Just wanted to let you know.

Right after takeoff, a pilot comes on the microphone to welcome his passengers. Thank you for flying with us. The weather is....

Then he suddenly starts screaming while still on the mic, OH MY GOD! IT IS BURNING!!, IT IS BURNING!

Then silence.

A few seconds later, he comes back on and says, I'm terribly sorry about what happened. I spilled some scorching hot coffee on my lap...you should see my pants!!

A voice from the back of the plane yelled, Why don't you come here and see ours?

Facebook wants me to pay to put a Facebook microphone and camera in my kitchen.

That's it.

Is there a gardener in the audience?

Why does my leaf blower have a low setting?

I've never needed to blow a leaf just a little.

(Blows gently into microphone)

Rudy Gobert jokes about Coronavirus

Rudy Gobert tested positive for coronavirus. This brought NBA to a halt. On Monday, he had joked about the virus by touching microphones.

Microphone joke, Rudy Gobert jokes about Coronavirus

What did James Bond say to the CEO of a famous microphone company before he executed him?

It's the end of the RΓΈde for you.

A bear and a pony walked onto the stage at a convention...

And the pony went up to the microphone and said, "Bear with me, I'm a little horse."

Prime Minister Shinzo Abe gives an opening speech at the Tokyo Olympics.

He walks up to the microphone. "O!" he says, which is followed by applause.

"O!" he says again, as an ovation.

"O!" he says again, and the audience stands up and cheers. Suddenly, an aide runs up to the podium.

"Prime Minister Abe," the aide whispers, "those are the Olympic logo rings, you don't need to read all of them!"


During Sunday service, a pastor announces he is doing a children's sermon this week and invites all the kids to come to the front.

One little girl was wearing a lovely pink dress. As she sat down, the pastor complimented it and asked if it was her Easter Dress.

Leaning right into the pastor's clip-on microphone, she replied, "Yes, but my mama calls it her Bitch-to-Iron dress.

The Pilot

The pilot gave his normal address to the passengers, this is your captain speaking, we will be ascending to 30000 feet and the flight time is two hours. Unfortunately he forgot to turn off his microphone and he joked to his co pilot that what he would really enjoy was a cup of coffee and a blow job. A hostess rushed to the cockpit to alert the captain about the microphone. A nearby passenger quipped, he also wants a coffee.

A healing priest is in the process of a miracle

Priest: Stand up!

(The man slowly stands up)

Priest: Now walk my child walk!!!

(The man slowly started walking and the crowd was shocked)

The priest then gave the microphone to the man.

Priest: Now what can you say upon this miracle of God!!??

Man: I still can't see

At a corporate party…

The director of HR stood up and said If anyone has any comments or anything they'd like to say please come up to the microphone

An employee stood up and walked over. He picked up the microphone and pointed it directly at the speakers. A loud obnoxious noise screeched out and filled the room. Everyone covered their ears as he held it there. He then turned it away and handed it back to the HR director. To which the HR director said…

Thank you for your feedback.

I went shopping the other day for cherries and a new microphone.

Bought a BING, bought a BOOM


The first rule of singing in the bathroom!

The toilet brush must never be used as a microphone

Just think that there are jokes based on truth that can bring down governments, or jokes which make girl laugh. Many of the microphone megaphone jokes and puns are jokes supposed to be funny, but some can be offensive. When jokes go too far, we try to silence them and it will be great if you give us feedback every time when a joke become inappropriate.

We suggest to use only working microphone speaker piadas for adults and blagues for friends. Some of the dirty witze and dark jokes are funny, but use them with caution in real life. Try to remember funny jokes you've never heard to tell your friends and will make you laugh.

Joko Jokes