Micro Jokes

Following is our collection of hardware humor and specs one-liner funnies working better than reddit jokes. They include Micro puns for adults, dirty firefox jokes or clean microscopic gags for kids.

There is an abundance of teeny jokes out there. You're fortunate to read a set of the 72 funniest jokes on micro. Full with funny wisecracks it is even funnier than any shemale witze you can hear about micro.

The Best jokes about Micro

What do you call it when two transgender midgets have sex?

Micro trans-action

EA's microtransaction policy is so bad that...

[This punchline is locked. Please pay 20,000 credits to unlock]

Microsoft is working on software for self-driving vehicles.

I can't wait until my car suddenly stops in the middle of the highway and reboots to install updates.

If you think your microwave spying on you is bad...

Your vacuum cleaner has been gathering dirt on you for years.

What did microsoft say to the attractive girl in the room?

Can I crash at your place tonight?


Why did EA remove gender restrictions in The Sims 4?

They're just doing their small part, because EA loves micro trans actions.

If Microsoft ever makes a product that doesn't suck...

...it'll be a vacuum!

How many Microsoft executives does it take to screw in a lightbulb?

None. They just redefine 'darkness' as an industry standard.

A microwave and a refrigerator get married. Who gives the speech?

The Toaster.

Microsoft

Boss : How good are you at making spreadsheet?

Me : I excel at it

Boss : Was that a Microsoft office pun?

Me : word

Why is Microsoft so bad at writing music?

Because they can only use OneNote!


Why does the head of EA like micro transactions so much?

It describes two distinct parts of his sex life

Microsoft Edge is a big improvement over IE...

It downloads Chrome twice as fast!

When Microsoft and Apple ship faulty products

Microsoft: We will fix that faulty battery timer through a software update. *never fixes it though*

Apple: *quietly removes the battery timer*

I was going to make a game where you play a death-defying, cross-dressing little person.

But I see you guys hate micro trans action.

Which kitchen appliance do surfers dislike most?

The micro wave.

How many Microsoft engineers does it take to change a light bulb ?

None.

They redefine broken as the new standard.

Now that Microsoft is so big, should it be called Macrosoft

What do you call it when you have sex with a dwarf who has gender dysmorphia?

micro trans action


What do you get when you microwave a monkey?

Rhesus pieces.

I'll let myself out.

I'm not worried about a future where my kids are addicted to EA's micro transactions

Because there's no way I'll be paying for Verizon's internet gaming add on

Why did microsoft go straight to windows 10 ?

They were trying to keep their german market.

Microtransactions are getting out of hand.

Even the internet is Pai to win!

Why do Microsoft products cost money?

You gotta pay the Bill

Microsoft will start making ...

vacuum cleaners. It will be the only thing they make that doesn't suck.

Got myself a Microsoft advent calendar

but I'm worried that once I've opened 3 or 4 windows I won't be able to open any more...

What do computers snack on?

micro chips

Why are Microsoft employees never relaxed?

Because they're always on Edge.

What does Microsoft mean when it says "about 10 seconds remaining?"

Hold on I'll tell you in 5 minutes.

How can you tell that microchips are made in the US and not the UK?

Because if they were made in the UK they would be called microcrisps.

What do you call a boss that's under 5 feet tall?

A micro manager

Microsoft-Lover

Three women were sitting around talking about their husbands' performance as lovers.

The first woman says, My Husband works as a marriage counselor. He always buys me flowers and candy before we make love. I like that.

The second woman says, My husband is a motorcycle mechanic. He likes to play rough and slaps me around sometimes. I kinda like that.

The third woman just shakes her head and says, My husband works for Microsoft. He just sits on the edge of the bed and tells me how great it's going to be when I get it.

Totally going to buy a tiny pet crow for myself.

Gonna call it Micro.

What do you call two transgender midgets making out?

Micro transaction

Nintendo is releasing a micro transaction mobile platformer

Pay Per Mario

I saved a tiny baby raven and now he won't leave

I guess you could say he's micro

I'm like Microsoft Edge

Nobody likes me, but I'm edgy

How did Micro-soft get it's name?

Because Bill Gates has a 3.5 inch floppy

Using Microsoft Word

**moves image 1mm to the right**

4 new pages appear.

Global warming.

Alien invasion.

Armageddon.

A Microsoft Dev walks into a room....

Bethesda is working on Skyrim remastered 4k edition for the new xbox.

Microsoft Dev "Woah that screenshot looks cool"

Bethesda Worker: "That's not a screenshot, it's...it's the game"

Where do Microsoft employees go to work?

a Microsoft office.

What do you call bacteria that can swim fast?

Micro Phelps.

What did Microsoft say so everyone could trust them?

You have our word.

I saw a microbiologist today.

He was much bigger than I imagined.

I don't go to Applebee's often

I know how to microwave my own meals

What do Microsoft and Burger King have in common?

They both hate big Macs.

What would EA do with a miniature man who used to be a woman?

Micro trans actions.

My take on microaggressions: on one hand, it's true people can sometimes be too sensitive. On the other hand...

NOT EVERYONE HAS TWO HANDS CHECK YOUR PRIVILEGE.

Nowadays almost all games have lots of transgender midgets having sex.

Micro Trans-actions.

Why did no one want to play the mobile game about transexual dwarfs?

Because it had micro trans actions

Microsoft hires regardless of race, religion, or sexual orientation.

It's a very PC work environment.

Why are Microsoft circuit boards so bad?

They use French resistors.

What do you call two midgets having sex?

A micro transaction

I shrunk my pet bird and made him watch Dirty Jobs

I made my crow watch Mike Rowe while micro.

Microwaved Food is a lot like Schroedinger's Cat

It could be really hot or stone cold.

Microsoft has developed a special version of the Halo 3 rendering engine which can run within LibreOffice Calc spreadsheets...

It's called Halo3.**ods**t

I took Microsoft to France.

It became Microissant.

A microbiologist went over to his colleague at the bar and said...

'I see you are also a man of culture.'

Recent mobile phone technology has linked up with micro chip brain implant technology so that when your phone rings it can immediately connect without making a ringing sound.

It just won the Nobel peace prize.

Microsoft used to make fleshlights

then they halted production because everyone kept getting viruses.

If Microsoft made a bomb 8

7
6
5
4
3 hours and 47minutes
7 days 4 hours and
*explosion*

My microwave asked me why I was walking around with a gun...

I told it becuase of the CIA...

It laughed, I laughed, my wife laughed...

I shot my wife...

Microsoft should try making an optimistic and articulate robot that adjusts its responses based on interactions with the public.

They could call it Marco Rubio.

Which microorganism likes to preach?

Psalmonella.

Why did Microsoft go straight from Windows 8 to Windows 10?

BECAUSE SEVEN ATE NINE
*drops mic*

Why did Microsoft not make Windows 9?

Because seven eight nine.

Where do you keep microscopic criminals?

In cells.

Microsoft Word is like my girlfriend...

...When I tell her to ignore something, she can't let it go.

How did the two microwaves greet each other?

They 'Waved' :P

Today I had an interview for a job at Microsoft, and the recruiter asked me "Why do you think you are a good fit for our company?"

I replied: "because I too am micro and soft right now"

Where do Microsoft employees go to get drunk?

The taskbar

When will Microsoft release another music player?

Zuner than later.

Use only working piadas for adults and blagues for friends. Note that dirty and dark jokes are funny, but use them with caution in real life. You can seriously offend people by saying creepy dark humor words to them.

Joko Jokes