Mickey Mouse Jokes
73 mickey mouse jokes and hilarious mickey mouse puns to laugh out loud. Read jokes about mickey mouse that are clean and suitable for kids and friends.
Funniest Mickey Mouse Short Jokes
Short mickey mouse jokes and puns are one of the best ways to have fun with word play in English. The mickey mouse humour may include short mickey jokes also.
- What do you call a mouse on 2 legs Friend "i dont know"
Me "mickey mouse"
Me "what do you call a duck on 2 legs"
Friend "donald duck"
Me " all ducks idiot" - Whenever my boss asks, "Having fun yet?" I say, "Are you kidding, this is my Disneyland!"
because my boss is a rat, my co-workers are goofy and this is a Mickey Mouse operation. - Arnold Schwarzenegger has a long one, Kim Jong has a short one, Mickey Mouse's isn't human, the Pope doesn't use his, and Cher doesn't have one. What is it? Last Names
- Went to Disney World because my daughter is obsessed with Mickey Mouse. She was so excited when I got home and told her.
- I invented a sandwich made with rodent meat. I call it the Mickey Mouse Club.
Comes with chips. - Mickey Mouse hangs himself... He doesn't die though, it's just a case of suspended animation.
- Disney is attempting to take over and brainwash our country by bringing back '80s Mickey Mouse merchandise NOT ON MY WATCH!!
- Which mouse runs on two legs? Mickey mouse. Now which duck runs on two legs? Every duck runs on two legs.
- Did you hear about the broken helicopter that Mickey Mouse bought from Scotland? Disneyland
- Mickey Mouse Q: What kind of mouse walks on two legs?
A: Mickey Mouse
Q: What kind of duck walks on two legs?
A: They all do!
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Mickey Mouse One Liners
Which mickey mouse one liners are funny enough to crack down and make fun with mickey mouse? I can suggest the ones about minnie mouse and mickey minnie.
- Mickey Mouse "Doc, my knees hurt!" Doctor: Which knee?
Mickey: Disney - Why is Mickey Mouse's helicopter no use in Scotland? Disneyland
- Why did Mickey Mouse get shot? Because Donald ducked.
- Why did Mickey Mouse name his dog Pluto? Because he's not a planet.
- How did Minnie save Mickey from drowning? Mouse to mouse resuscitation.
- Why did Mickey Mouse go to outer space? To find Pluto.
- Why did Mickey Mouse take a trip into space? He wanted to find Pluto!
- Donald uses a keyboard... .. and Mickey mouse.
- Mickey and Minnie Mouse go to see a marriage counsellor.
- What's Mickey's favorite wine? Mouse-cato.
- Wits wrong wae Mickey Mouses helicopter? Disneyland
- What kind of car does Mickey Mouse drive? A Minnie van...
- Did you hear what's happened with Mickey Mouses new helicopter? It Disney Land
- What do you call a Disney themed bar? Mickey Mouse's pub house
- Did you guys hear about Mickey Mouse's fatal flaw with his helicopter design? Disneyland
Hilarious Mickey Mouse Jokes to Make Your Friends Roar with Laughter
What funny jokes about mickey mouse you can tell and make people laugh? An example I can give is a clean donald duck jokes that will for sure put a smile on everyones mouth and help you make mickey mouse pranks.
Why did Mickey Mouse go to space? To visit Pluto.
Mickey Mouse is in the middle of a n**... divorce from Minnie Mouse. Mickey spoke to the judge about the separation. "I'm sorry Mickey, but I can't legally separate you two on the grounds that Minnie is mentally insane," said the judge. Mickey replied, "I didn't say she was mentally insane, I said that she's f*cking Goofy!"
Chuck Norris is the reason why Mickey mouse talks like that.
Dad: what mouse walks on 2 feet?
Me:
Dad: Mickey Mouse
Dad: What duck walks on 2 feet?
Me: Donald Duck?
Dad: All ducks, d**...
What were you thinking?
Schwarzenegger has a big one,
Michael J. Fox has a small one,
Madonna doesn't have one,
The POPE has one but doesn't use it,
Clinton uses his all the time,
Mickey Mouse has an unusual one,
George Burns' was hot,
Liberace NEVER used his on women,
j**... Seinfeld is very very proud of his,
We never saw Lucy use Desi's
what is it?
A riddle for the day
A riddle for the day
Arnold Schwarzenegger has a big one.
Michael J. Fox has a small one.
Madonna doesn't have one.
The Pope has one but doesn't use it.
Clinton uses his all the time.
Mickey Mouse has an unusual one.
Liberace never used his on women.
j**... Seinfeld is very, very proud of his.
Cher claims that she took on 3.
We never saw Lucy use Desi's.
What is it? Answer below! (this is pretty good )
----------------------------------------------------------
The answer is: "A Last Name."
Sorry Folks...No Dirty Jokes Here!
What mouse has two legs?
Mickey Mouse.
What duck has two legs?
Mickey mouse is getting a divorce
Mickey mouse goes to a lawyer and says he wants a divorce. Lawyer says "unfortunately you can't divorce your wife cause she is crazy" Mickey says "I didn't say she was crazy, I said she was f**king Goofy"
A riddle for today
A riddle for today
Arnold Schwarzenegger has a big one.
Michael J. Fox has a small one.
Madonna doesn't have one.
The Pope has one but doesn't use it.
Clinton uses his all the time.
Mickey Mouse has an unusual one.
Liberace never used his on women.
j**... Seinfeld is very, very proud of his.
Cher claims that she took on 3.
We never saw Lucy use Desi's.
What is it?
[The answer is: "A Last Name."
Sorry Folks...No Dirty Jokes Here!] (/spoiler)
Potato Clocks.
Colin walks into the largest watch, clock and timepiece store in Dublin and after a bit of browsing, calls the shopkeeper over...
"Where d'ya keep your potato clocks?"
The shopkeeper laughs, "Potato clocks?! Are you messin' with me? I will tell you that we sell alarm clocks and grandfather clocks, and mantel clocks and hour-glasses, cuckoo clocks, sundials, and electric clocks and quartz clocks, digital clocks, solar clocks, and even Mickey Mouse clocks, but in all my years, I have never heard tell of a POTATO clock!"
Colin shakes his head and says, "I don't know...but after years of unemployment, I'm finally startin' a new job at nine tomorrow, and the wife says 'You'd better get a potato clock.'"
Life has been found on Pluto.
Mickey Mouse bought him a flea collar. Boom boom.
Why was Betty Boop never attracted to Mickey Mouse?
She's only attracted to colored guys.
Why did Mickey Mouse leave Minnie Mouse?
She was f**...' Goofy.
What's the difference between Mickey Mouse and Deadmau5?
One is alive and the other is animated.
Actual "dad" joke from my dad
What does Mickey Mouse do to Minnie Mouse after she drowns and he pulls her out of the water? Mouse to Mouse resuscitation.
What's the difference between a fast food job and what Minnie Mouse got on her wedding night?
One is Mickey D's, the other is Mickey's D.
What do u get when u give a rodent date r**... drugs?
Mickey Mouse
During an astronomy class....
Teacher: What's a star with a tail?
.
.
Student: Mickey Mouse.
Does Mickey Mouse watch cat videos?
No. He tried once, but he couldn't put on the notebook's headphones.
What do you call a mouse on two legs?
Mickey Mouse.
What do you call a duck on two legs?
What is Mickey Mouse's favorite ice cream?
Mice Cream!!! (Cause it's a mouse)
Mickey mouse wakes up one winter morning and looks out the window.
To his shock, he sees someone has scrawled the words 'FUCK MICKEY' in u**... in the snow in front of his house. He calls the sheriff, who comes and asks him a couple of questions. He then takes pictures and samples of the u**... and leaves. The next morning, Mickey receives a phone call. It's the sheriff.
"Mickey, I've got bad news and worse news. The bad news is that the u**... belongs to Goofy."
"Oh, no," says Mickey mouse. "What's worse than that?"
"It's in Minnie's handwriting."
Question
James and Kumar were having a conversation when James asked Kumar a question.
J: what mouse walks on two legs?
K:(thinking hard).....ummm....I don't know
J: it's Mickey mouse you idiot
K: oh...ok
James then asks another question
J: which duck walks on two legs
K: this one's easy...it's Donald duck
J:all ducks walk on two legs you d**....
K:.....
Mickey Mouse's wife and Christopher Robin's friend made a gameshow together where contestants do 60 second challenges.
They called it... Minnie to Winnie.
Donald Trump approaches the wall prototypes.
Donald Trump is approaching the wall prototypes when suddenly a secret service agent yells "Mickey Mouse!".
A man appears to have jumped across the boarder holding something suspicious.
The secret service agents tackle him and the situation is secure.
Someone then asks what the Mickey Mouse shouting was about.
The agent goes "I was startled, I meant to say Donald Duck!"
Mickey Mouse is at the lawyers office..
The lawyer says "you can't divorce Minnie just because she has big teeth"
Mickey say " I didn't say she had big teeth, I said she's f\*\*king Goofy"
This next question will determine whether you are imparied or not.
Was Mickey Mouse a cat or a dog?
Mickey Mouse discovered the hard way Minnie Mouse liked superheroes.
She was having an affair with Mighty Mouse.
One day, Mickey Mouse wakes up and found a graffiti on the snow written with pee outside his house.
The graffiti wrote "Mickey s**...".
The police came, and they told Mickey that there's bad news and an even worse news.
The bad news is, the u**... is from Goofy.
The worse news is, its Minnie's handwriting.
What mouse walks on two legs joke
A: What mouse walks on two legs?
B: Hmmmz, don't know ...
A: Mickey Mouse ! What duck walks on two legs?
B: Donald Duck!
A: All ducks you s**... ...
I used to be a body guard for Donald Trump
One day, an assassination attempt took place, and when the man tried to shoot, I shouted "Mickey Mouse!".
After the attempt, Trump asked why I shouted Mickey Mouse, to which I replied "sorry, I meant to shout 'Donald, Duck!'"
An assassin is running towards Trump
His personal bodyguard sees him and shouts Mickey Mouse . This startles the assassin and he runs off in the other direction.
Trump turns to his bodyguard and says Thank you, but why did you yell Mickey Mouse The bodyguard replies Sorry Sir, I meant to say Donald, Duck.
My 7 year old son came in from school today and asked me:
"Dad, what kind of mouse can walk on 2 legs?"
"Erm, I don't know" I replied
"Mickey Mouse" he replied laughing
"Dad, what kind of duck can walk on 2 legs"
"Donald Duck" I replied
"No, all ducks you idiot"
