Mickey Jokes
86 mickey jokes and hilarious mickey puns to laugh out loud. Read jokes about mickey that are clean and suitable for kids and friends.
Bring smiles to the faces of everyone you know, with these funny and lighthearted Mickey jokes! These Mickey Mouse, Mickey Mouse Clubhouse and Mickey Mouse Halloween themed jokes are sure to bring out the laughter of Donnie, Goofy and Jack.
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Funniest Mickey Short Jokes
Short mickey jokes and puns are one of the best ways to have fun with word play in English. The mickey humour may include short minnie mouse jokes also.
- What do you call a mouse on 2 legs Friend "i dont know"
Me "mickey mouse"
Me "what do you call a duck on 2 legs"
Friend "donald duck"
Me " all ducks idiot" - Whenever my boss asks, "Having fun yet?" I say, "Are you kidding, this is my Disneyland!"
because my boss is a rat, my co-workers are goofy and this is a Mickey Mouse operation. - Arnold Schwarzenegger has a long one, Kim Jong has a short one, Mickey Mouse's isn't human, the Pope doesn't use his, and Cher doesn't have one. What is it? Last Names
- I didn't know the Disneyland had moved to the white house ... Apparently the president is Donald and the vice is Mickey.
- Went to Disney World because my daughter is obsessed with Mickey Mouse. She was so excited when I got home and told her.
- I invented a sandwich made with rodent meat. I call it the Mickey Mouse Club.
Comes with chips. - How do you tell if someone is Ron DeSantis? Hates Mickey.
Looks Goofy.
Acts like Donald. - Mickey Mouse hangs himself... He doesn't die though, it's just a case of suspended animation.
- Mickey Mantle knew 2 things. Mickey Mantle knew 2 things.
Drinking, and how to play drunk baseball. - Disney is attempting to take over and brainwash our country by bringing back '80s Mickey Mouse merchandise NOT ON MY WATCH!!
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Mickey One Liners
Which mickey one liners are funny enough to crack down and make fun with mickey? I can suggest the ones about disney character and walt disney.
- Mickey Mouse "Doc, my knees hurt!" Doctor: Which knee?
Mickey: Disney - Why is Mickey Mouse's helicopter no use in Scotland? Disneyland
- Why did Mickey Mouse get shot? Because Donald ducked.
- Why did Minnie hang up the phone on Mickey? She was feeling Goofy at the time
- What is the opposite of minimize? Mickey mize.
- Why did Mickey Mouse name his dog Pluto? Because he's not a planet.
- How did Minnie save Mickey from drowning? Mouse to mouse resuscitation.
- Which knee is Mickey's favorite knee? Disney
- Why did Mickey Mouse go to outer space? To find Pluto.
- What do you call it when you kill Disney characters? A Mickey Mousacre
- Mickey and Minnie walked into a bar Donald ducked
- Why is Mickeys dog named Pluto? Because hes not a planet.
- Why did Mickey Mouse take a trip into space? He wanted to find Pluto!
- Donald uses a keyboard... .. and Mickey mouse.
- What do you get when you cross a cartoon character and a Communist? Mickey Mao.
Mickey Mouse Jokes
Here is a list of funny mickey mouse jokes and even better mickey mouse puns that will make you laugh with friends.
- Which mouse runs on two legs? Mickey mouse. Now which duck runs on two legs? Every duck runs on two legs.
- Did you hear about the broken helicopter that Mickey Mouse bought from Scotland? Disneyland
- Mickey and Minnie Mouse go to see a marriage counsellor.
- Mickey Mouse Q: What kind of mouse walks on two legs?
A: Mickey Mouse
Q: What kind of duck walks on two legs?
A: They all do! - What's Mickey's favorite wine? Mouse-cato.
- Mickey Mouse's wife and Christopher Robin's friend made a gameshow together where contestants do 60 second challenges. They called it... Minnie to Winnie.
- Wits wrong wae Mickey Mouses helicopter? Disneyland
- What kind of car does Mickey Mouse drive? A Minnie van...
- What's the difference between a fast food job and what Minnie Mouse got on her wedding night? One is Mickey D's, the other is Mickey's D.
- Actual "dad" joke from my dad What does Mickey Mouse do to Minnie Mouse after she drowns and he pulls her out of the water? Mouse to Mouse resuscitation.
Mickey Minnie Jokes
Here is a list of funny mickey minnie jokes and even better mickey minnie puns that will make you laugh with friends.
- Mickey Mouse discovered the hard way Minnie Mouse liked superheroes. She was having an affair with Mighty Mouse.
- Mickey Mouse is at the lawyers office.. The lawyer says "you can't divorce Minnie just because she has big teeth"
Mickey say " I didn't say she had big teeth, I said she's f\*\*king Goofy" - What do you here when Mickey and Minnie are doing it? Squeak, Squeak, Squeak
- Why did Mickey Mouse leave Minnie Mouse? She was f**...' Goofy.
- Why is Mickey mad at Minnie Cuz she's f**...' Goofy
- Minnie asked Mickey Minnie asked Mickey
Are you F*****g Crazy
Mickey Replies 'No I'm F*****g Daisy
Comical Mickey Jokes and Gems that Will Get You in Laughter Land
What funny jokes about mickey you can tell and make people laugh? An example I can give is a clean mice jokes that will for sure put a smile on everyones mouth and help you make mickey pranks.
Dad: what mouse walks on 2 feet?
Me:
Dad: Mickey Mouse
Dad: What duck walks on 2 feet?
Me: Donald Duck?
Dad: All ducks, d**...
Gimme your best Mickey Mouse/Disney character joke!
Going on a Disney Cruise and need your funniest, raunchiest or most n**... joke involving a Disney character.
What were you thinking?
Schwarzenegger has a big one,
Michael J. Fox has a small one,
Madonna doesn't have one,
The POPE has one but doesn't use it,
Clinton uses his all the time,
Mickey Mouse has an unusual one,
George Burns' was hot,
Liberace NEVER used his on women,
j**... Seinfeld is very very proud of his,
We never saw Lucy use Desi's
what is it?
A riddle for the day
A riddle for the day
Arnold Schwarzenegger has a big one.
Michael J. Fox has a small one.
Madonna doesn't have one.
The Pope has one but doesn't use it.
Clinton uses his all the time.
Mickey Mouse has an unusual one.
Liberace never used his on women.
j**... Seinfeld is very, very proud of his.
Cher claims that she took on 3.
We never saw Lucy use Desi's.
What is it? Answer below! (this is pretty good )
----------------------------------------------------------
The answer is: "A Last Name."
Sorry Folks...No Dirty Jokes Here!
Why did Mickey get hit but Donald didn't
Because Donald Duck.
Mickey's Yellow Snow Dilemma...
Mickey was angry because somebody was writing "Mickey s**..." in yellow snow outside of his front door every time it snowed. He ended up going to his friend who was a cop to ask for help. The cop checked it out and took some photos and samples. A couple of days later the cop came back to Mickey:
"Well, the good news is we've figured out that the u**... came from your friend, Goofy. The bad news - it's Minnie's handwriting..."
I Was Going To St. Ives, A Poem
I was going to St. Ives,
When I saw a man with Seven Wives.
I know it sounds absurd and looney,
But that poor man was Mickey Rooney!
(R.I.P. Mickey Rooney, 1920-2014)
Mickey mouse is getting a divorce
Mickey mouse goes to a lawyer and says he wants a divorce. Lawyer says "unfortunately you can't divorce your wife cause she is crazy" Mickey says "I didn't say she was crazy, I said she was f**king Goofy"
A riddle for today
A riddle for today
Arnold Schwarzenegger has a big one.
Michael J. Fox has a small one.
Madonna doesn't have one.
The Pope has one but doesn't use it.
Clinton uses his all the time.
Mickey Mouse has an unusual one.
Liberace never used his on women.
j**... Seinfeld is very, very proud of his.
Cher claims that she took on 3.
We never saw Lucy use Desi's.
What is it?
[The answer is: "A Last Name."
Sorry Folks...No Dirty Jokes Here!] (/spoiler)
I don't get how people say Mickey Rourke looks bad for his age...
...don't they realise his first film role was in 1941?!
Greeks are not impressed with an international bailout scheme
Declaring it to be a Mickey Moussaka plan.
What do you call the WaltDisney show featuring Donald & Mickey running for 4 years?
US Presidency
What did Ayn Rand write after finally getting slipped a mickey by bloodthristy commies?
Atlas Drugged
I'll show myself out
Mickey called the police because someone had written "Mickey s**..." in u**... in the snow in front of Mickey's house.
The officer told Mickey,
"I've got some good news and I have some bad news."
"What's the good news?" Mickey asked.
"The good news is that we were able to identify whose u**... it was. It was Goofy's."
"How could the bad news be worse than that?"
"It was Minnie's handwriting."
Question
James and Kumar were having a conversation when James asked Kumar a question.
J: what mouse walks on two legs?
K:(thinking hard).....ummm....I don't know
J: it's Mickey mouse you idiot
K: oh...ok
James then asks another question
J: which duck walks on two legs
K: this one's easy...it's Donald duck
J:all ducks walk on two legs you d**....
K:.....
Donald Trump approaches the wall prototypes.
Donald Trump is approaching the wall prototypes when suddenly a secret service agent yells "Mickey Mouse!".
A man appears to have jumped across the boarder holding something suspicious.
The secret service agents tackle him and the situation is secure.
Someone then asks what the Mickey Mouse shouting was about.
The agent goes "I was startled, I meant to say Donald Duck!"
One day, Mickey Mouse wakes up and found a graffiti on the snow written with pee outside his house.
The graffiti wrote "Mickey s**...".
The police came, and they told Mickey that there's bad news and an even worse news.
The bad news is, the u**... is from Goofy.
The worse news is, its Minnie's handwriting.
I used to be a body guard for Donald Trump
One day, an assassination attempt took place, and when the man tried to shoot, I shouted "Mickey Mouse!".
After the attempt, Trump asked why I shouted Mickey Mouse, to which I replied "sorry, I meant to shout 'Donald, Duck!'"
Car for Sale
p**... wanted to sell his car but was concerned he wouldn't get much for it due to the high mileage, he spoke to his friend Mickey who suggested winding the clock back, reducing the mileage, in the hope he could ask for more money.
A few days later p**... was talking to Mickey again, 'How'd you get on sellin the car p**...?' He asked his friend.
'I didn't sell it in the end' he said. 'Why not?' asked Mickey. 'Well I wound it back like you said, and when I'd finished sure there was only 12,000 miles on the clock, so I decided to keep it'
An assassin is running towards Trump
His personal bodyguard sees him and shouts Mickey Mouse . This startles the assassin and he runs off in the other direction.
Trump turns to his bodyguard and says Thank you, but why did you yell Mickey Mouse The bodyguard replies Sorry Sir, I meant to say Donald, Duck.
Riding in car with hubby and 80-yo mom; mom asks why the US flag at Mickey Ds is…
…half staff. Without missing a beat, hubby says its because the ice cream machine is down. I facepalm as my mom asks when that became a thing. 🤦♀️
My 7 year old son came in from school today and asked me:
"Dad, what kind of mouse can walk on 2 legs?"
"Erm, I don't know" I replied
"Mickey Mouse" he replied laughing
"Dad, what kind of duck can walk on 2 legs"
"Donald Duck" I replied
"No, all ducks you idiot"
