The Best 86 Mick Jokes

Following is our collection of funny Mick jokes. There are some mick patrick jokes no one knows (to tell your friends) and to make you laugh out loud.

Take your time to read those puns and riddles where you ask a question with answers, or where the setup is the punchline. We hope you will find these mick pat and mick puns funny enough to tell and make people laugh.

Top 10 of the Funniest Mick Jokes and Puns

what did mick jagger say when he caught hugh hefner and dennis weaver in the bedroom together?

hey, hugh, get off of mccloud.

What's the difference between Mick Jagger and a Scottsman?

What's the difference between Mick Jagger and a Scottsman?
Mick Jagger says "Hey, you, get off of my cloud!"
and the Scottsman says "Hey, McLeod, get off of my ewe!"

What's the difference between Mick Jagger and a Scotsman?

Mick Jagger screams "Hey, you! Get off of my cloud!"

A Scotsman screams "Hey, McCloud! Get off of my ewe!"

Mick joke, What's the difference between Mick Jagger and a Scotsman?

A frog goes into a bank and approaches the teller.

He can see from her nameplate that her name is Patricia Whack.

"Miss Whack", he says, "I'd like to get a $30,000 loan to take a holiday".

Patty looks at the frog in disbelief and asks his name. The frog says that his name is Kermit Jagger. He says that his dad is Mick Jagger, and it's okay for him to take out all of the money because he is friends with the bank manager. Patty explains that he will need to secure the loan with some collateral.

The frog says "Sure, have this", and produces a tiny porcelain elephant, about an inch tall, bright pink, and perfectly formed. Very confused, Patty tells him that she'll have to consult with the bank manager. She then disappears into the back office.

She finds the manager and says "There's a frog called Kermit Jagger out there who claims to know you and wants to borrow $30,000, and he wants to use this as collateral". She holds up the tiny elephant pink elephant. "I mean, what in the world is this?"

The bank manager looks back at her and says "It's a knickknack, Patty Whack. Give the frog a loan, his old man's a Rolling Stone".

I asked Mick Jagger to pick me up some swampy plants.

But a Rolling Stone gathers no moss.


What's the difference between Mick Jagger and a Scottish Highlander?

Mick Jagger sings, "Hey you, get off of my cloud . . ", while the Scottish Highlander yells, "Hey McCloud, get off of my ewe!"

Mickey Mantle knew 2 things.

Mickey Mantle knew 2 things.

Drinking, and how to play drunk baseball.

Mick joke, Mickey Mantle knew 2 things.

A black man starts work on a construction site in Liverpool.

The other workers nickname him "Wog".

Feeling upset by this, the black man goes to speak with the foreman. The foreman laughs and tells him, "But we all have nicknames. We've got Mick and Paddy, they're Irish. Wac from Liverpool. And Mack from Scotland".

The black man was still not happy, so the foreman shouted at his men, "Mick, Mack, Paddy, Wac leave the Wog alone!"

Irish lawnmower

Paddy was waiting at the bus stop with Mick when a truck went by loaded with rolls of turf.

I gonna do that when I win the lottery, says Paddy.

What's dat? says Mick.

Send me lawn away to be cut, says Paddy.

edit;typing

Two Irish men renovating a house

Paddy is pulling up the floorboards and placing the nails into two piles.
Mick says "Paddy, why are ye puttin the nails in two piles?"
To which Paddy replies, "these ones I'm goin tae use again but those other ones are upside down"
Mick then says, "Paddy you eedjit, ye can use them for the ceiling!"

Why did Mickey get hit but Donald didn't

Because Donald Duck.

You can explore mick murphy reddit one liners, including funnies and gags. Read them and you will understand what jokes are funny? Those of you who have teens can tell them clean mick kathy dad jokes. There are also mick puns for kids, 5 year olds, boys and girls.


Why did Mickey Mouse get shot?

Because Donald ducked.

A Irishman, Mick goes to the doctor complaining of stomach pain...

Doctor: "Well I cant find anything wrong with you , it must be the drinking"
Mick : "Ill come back when you're sober Doctor"

Mickey mouse is getting a divorce

Mickey mouse goes to a lawyer and says he wants a divorce. Lawyer says "unfortunately you can't divorce your wife cause she is crazy" Mickey says "I didn't say she was crazy, I said she was f**king Goofy"

Irish joke

Paddy an Mick are sitting at the bus stop.

They see a truck drive by loaded with turf.

Paddy says to Mick

'That's while I'll do when I'm rich Mick'

Paddy;

'Whats that Mick?'

Mick;

'Send me grass away to get cut'

Mickey Mouse hangs himself...

He doesn't die though, it's just a case of suspended animation.

Mick joke, Mickey Mouse hangs himself...

Why is Mickeys dog named Pluto?

Because hes not a planet.

Why did Mickey Mouse go to outer space?

To find Pluto.

Why did Mickey Mouse leave Minnie Mouse?

She was fuckin' Goofy.


A Mick and Wop walk into a sub shop

One orders the Italian, the other orders a filthy stinking drunk.

What's the difference between Mick Jagger, and a Scottish farmer?

Mick Jagger says 'Hey, you, get off of my cloud'

The Scottish farmer says 'Hey, MacLeod, get off of my ewe'

The Great White Whale just unveiled a sculpture of the Rolling Stones frontman made of mud brick...

Moby Dick's Adobe Mick.

Mickey Mouse

Q: What kind of mouse walks on two legs?
A: Mickey Mouse
Q: What kind of duck walks on two legs?
A: They all do!

Why didn't Mick Jagger pick Randy Moss up from the airport?

Because a Rolling Stone gathers no Moss.

Why does Mickelson travel with two sex dolls?

just in case he gets a hole in one

What did Mick Jagger say to the guy who hacked into his dropbox account?..

Hey! You! Get off of my cloud!

Farmer Paddy: "My cow fell down a hole, and I had to shoot her!"

Farmer Mick: "Bejeesuss! Did you shoot her in the hole?"
Farmer Paddy: "No. I shot her in the head."

Bad Mother

Mick, do you think I'm a bad mother?

My name is Paul.

Mickey Mouse "Doc, my knees hurt!"

Doctor: Which knee?

Mickey: Disney

Paddy and Mick see a sign

Walking down the road in Ireland, Paddy and Mick see a sign see a sign saying "Tree Fellers Wanted".
Paddy sighs and says, "It's a shame Ryan wasn't with us, we could have gone for that job!".

Why did Mickey Mouse name his dog Pluto?

Because he's not a planet.

Micky Mouse isn't quick enough to avoid my punches.

But Donald ducks.

Paddy and Mick are on a rollercoaster

Getting strapped in, Paddy turns to Mick.

"When we go upside down, will we fall out?"

"I hope not Paddy, we've been pals for years."

Mick Jagger's Big Announcement

As Mick and his fellow musicians continue to age, they've decided on a new name for the group:

"The Rolling Kidney Stones"

What did Mickey Mouse yell when the president was about to be shot?

Donald!! Duck!!!

Does Mickey Mouse watch cat videos?

No. He tried once, but he couldn't put on the notebook's headphones.

Mickey called the police because someone had written "Mickey Sucks" in urine in the snow in front of Mickey's house.

The officer told Mickey,
"I've got some good news and I have some bad news."
"What's the good news?" Mickey asked.
"The good news is that we were able to identify whose urine it was. It was Goofy's."
"How could the bad news be worse than that?"
"It was Minnie's handwriting."

There's two mates on a plane, Paddy and Mick...

Paddy says to Mick "Here, if the plane turns upside down, would we fall out?"

Mick says "Naw Paddy, we'll always be best pals."

What did Mick Jagger do when he found his cupboard was infested with moths?

Nothing. A rolling stone gathers no moths.

Mickey and Minnie Mouse go to see a marriage counsellor.

I just got caught hacking into Mick Jagger's Windows account...

He told me, "Hey! You! Get off of my cloud!"

In the last interview, Mick Jagger revealed the secret of his young appearance.

He said, 'Just stand by Keith.'

TIL Mick Jagger once studied to become a Bryologist

After forming his band, he abandoned his dream. After all, a Rolling Stone gathers no moss.

Irish.

Two Irish Men walking down the Road.
Paddy says to Mick, what you got in the
bag? Mick says Sausage Rolls, Paddy says
if I can guess how many are in the bag, can
I have one, Mick says if you can guess, you
can have all 4...

Mickey Donovan priest joke

What's the difference between a priest and acne?

Acne waits till you're 14 till it comes on your face.

A Spic, a Mick, and a Chick walk into a bar.

The Spic says, "Une tequila por favor."
The bar tender gives it to him.
The Mick says "Ah'll 'ave a pint o' Guinness."
The Chick says "Tweet tweet."

I've heard the rumours of Mick Jagger's lips...

They're Exjaggerated.

Mick hucknall has been arrested for having sex with a rabbit.

Mick and paddy are sitting in a plane when Mick turns to paddy and says "Mick, if this plane turned upside down do you think we'd fall out"

Paddy replies "Not at all Mick, I think we'd still be mates"

Mickey & Minnie Divorce Court [NSFW]

Judge: "Mickey, you can't divorce Minnie just because shes a little weird.."

Mickey: "Your Honor, I didn't say she was a 'little weird', I said she was 'fucking Goofy!"

Why is Mickey mad at Minnie

Cuz she's fuckin' Goofy

Do you like Micky D's?

Paddy and Mick are walking through the woods when they come across a sign that reads, "Tree fellers wanted." Paddy says, "Ah what a shame!"

"If only Seamus was here with us, we all could have applied for that!"

Mick text his wife and said Hi honey be home in about half hour just having a beer with the boys, if I am not home in half hour.

Read this text again..

Mick was going to see Paddy...

He went to his farm and Paddy's wife Mary said he's out in the barn.
When Mick walked in to the barn he seen paddy dancing naked in front of his tractor.
Mick said what are you doing Paddy?
Paddy replied, you know me and Mary were having problems in the bed room, so we went to a therapist and he said do something sexy to a tractor..

Mickey and Minnie walked into a bar

Donald ducked

Two Irishmen are nailing a floor

Patty picks up a nail, looks at it and throws it away. He picks up another, looks at it and throws it away as well. Mick sees him and asks what he's doing.
Patty - Them nails were no good, they were upside down.
Mick - You idiot, save those ones for the roof...

Mickey Mouse's wife and Christopher Robin's friend made a gameshow together where contestants do 60 second challenges.

They called it... Minnie to Winnie.

Mick Jagger had to give up his Japanese garden.

The rolling stone couldn't grow moss.

Circumcised

Paddy says to mick.
I'm getting circumcised tomorrow!
Mick says
I had that done when I was a few days old
Paddy asks
Does it hurt?
Mick then replies
Well I couldn't walk for about a year after

What do you call an Indian DJ?

DJ Mick Singh

Mickey Mouse is at the lawyers office..

The lawyer says "you can't divorce Minnie just because she has big teeth"

Mickey say " I didn't say she had big teeth, I said she's f\*\*king Goofy"

Two Irish couples decide to swap partners to spice up their sex lives.

Afterwards Paddy says to Mick "That was incredible, I wonder how the girls got on!"

Mick Jagger and a cough have one thing in common.

Once you start them up, they never stop.

Mick Jagger is sitting on a cloud.

He sees a piece of gold on the cloud with him and throws it off exclaiming

Au get off of my cloud!

Mickey Mouse discovered the hard way Minnie Mouse liked superheroes.

She was having an affair with Mighty Mouse.

Paddy

"Would you like to buy my dog?" Mick : "What kind is it?" Paddy: "It's a Dalmatian." Mick : "Is it clean?" Paddy: "Spotless."

What does Mick Fleetwood always order from McDonald's?

A Fleetwood Mac.

What do you call Mick Jagger and Keith Richards both found dead with their eyes taped open in front of the TV?

Killing two Stones with one Birdbox.



*I'll show myself out...*

If Mick Jagger was Irish

would he go by McJagger?

Mick Jagger goes to the doctor...

Mick Jagger: "Doctor, I feel all bloated and gassy, but I just can't seem to fart."

Doctor: "Are you saying that..."

Mick Jagger: "Yes, doctor... I can't get no flatus action."

Why did Mickey Mouse take a trip into space?

He wanted to find Pluto!

Pat and Mick were walking down the street when Pat fell into a big hole filled with milk.

Mick runs over to the hole and asks:

Pat, is it pasteurised?

To which Pat replies:

Nah, it's only up to my knees!

Mick Jagger and Keith Richards have a huge falling out after Mick refuses to stop talking in broken Spanish

When asked for comment, Mick replied "The Rolling Stones gather no mas."

Did you hear Mick Jagger and Keith Richards were attacked by a giant magpie?

Witnesses say one bird was trying to kill two Stones

What's a rolling rolling stone?

Mick Jagger in a wheelchair

Irish Doughnuts

Paddy and Mick are walking down the road and Paddy's got a bag of doughnuts in his hand.
Paddy says to Mick, If you can guess how many doughnuts are in my bag, you can have them both.

Mick and Paddy are reading head stones at a nearby cemetery.

Mick says," Crikey! There's a bloke here who was 152!"

Paddy says, "What's his name?"

Mick replies, "Miles, from London."

Police in Belfast have now been given permission to shoot people who break the curfew.

Paddy and Mick, have been put at the top of Belfast City Hall and are ordered to shoot anyone after the 8pm curfew.

The first night they are looking out at 7.45pm and Mick takes his gun and shoots a man.

"What are you doing Mick" said Paddy, "It's only a quarter to eight!"

"That was wee Jimmy, I know where he lives, he would never have made it home in time."

Paddy was at the airport and was stopped by customs.

Customs: What have you got in those two sacks on your shoulders.?

Paddy: Oh just a lot of mobile phones.

Customs: So why so many mobile phones.?

Paddy: Well on my travels I had a call from my mate Mick,

He told me that he was starting up a Jazz Band, and could

I bring him back two Saxophones.

Three Irish men in a pub called says, "Are you all related?" Mick said, "Yeah we're triplets". Barman says, "Triplets, how Come you & Pat are six foot tall & Tat is only four foot tall?"

"Well", said Mick, "Me & Pat
were breast fed, so there was no tit for tat".

Mick Jagger and Keith Richards were cruising down the coast.

Coming around a bend they saw a magnificent bald eagle in the middle of the road. When Mick swerved to miss it he lost control of the car and they plummeted off a cliff to their death.

A tragic case of killing two Stones with one bird.

Mick Jagger and Keith Richards were arrested for allegedly breaking into a Spanish man's house

They reportedly took some of his belongings (only what they could carry). When the police asked the homeowner about it, he said "They took what they could, but then.... The Rolling Stones gathered no mΓ‘s."

Two Irish men, mick and Dara are walking in the woods..

Mick and Dara are walking in the woods when they come up on a sign saying "Job opportunity! Good pay. Tree fellers wanted."
"Ah, jaysus" says Dara, 'tis but a shame there's only two of us"!

Why doesn't Mick Jagger date British supermodels?

A Rolling Stone gathers no Moss.

The man who invented unisex Tennis has died.

RIP Mick Stubbles

Just think that there are jokes based on truth that can bring down governments, or jokes which make girl laugh. Many of the mick mick hucknall jokes and puns are jokes supposed to be funny, but some can be offensive. When jokes go too far, are mean or racist, we try to silence them and it will be great if you give us feedback every time when a joke become bullying and inappropriate.

We suggest to use only working mick paddy and mick piadas for adults and blagues for friends. Some of the dirty witze and dark jokes are funny, but use them with caution in real life. Try to remember funny jokes you've never heard to tell your friends and will make you laugh.

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