Mick Jagger Jokes
46 mick jagger jokes and hilarious mick jagger puns to laugh out loud. Read jokes about mick jagger that are clean and suitable for kids and friends.
Share These Mick Jagger Jokes With Friends
Loads of Fun with Charming Humor Mick Jagger Jokes
What is a good mick jagger joke to make people laugh? Check out this list of funny stories that will for sure put a smile on everyones mouth.
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
A frog goes into a bank and approaches the teller
He can see from her nameplate that her name is Patricia Whack. "Miss Whack, I'd like to get a $30,000 loan to take a holiday." Patty looks at the frog in disbelief and asks his name. The frog says his name is Kermit Jagger, his dad is m**... Jagger, and that it's okay, he knows the bank manager.
Patty explains that he will need to secure the loan with some collateral. The frog says, "Sure. I have this," and produces a tiny porcelain elephant, about an inch tall, bright pink and perfectly formed. Very confused, Patty explains that she'll have to consult with the bank manager and disappears into a back office.
She finds the manager and says, "There's a frog called Kermit Jagger out there who claims to know you and wants to borrow $30,000, and he wants to use this as collateral.." She holds up the tiny pink elephant. "I mean, what in the world is this?"
The bank manager looks back at her and says... "It's a knick-knack, Patty Whack, give the frog a loan. His old man's a Rolling Stone."
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
what did m**... jagger say when he caught hugh hefner and dennis weaver in the bedroom together?
hey, hugh, get off of mccloud.
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
Give the frog a loan.
A frog hops into a bank and approaches the teller, "Please, ma'am," he says. "I need to take out a loan so I can feed my family."
"Do you have any sort of photo-ID?" The teller asks.
"No," the frog replies. "But I do have this!" The frog pulls out a small golden elephant.
The teller looks at the elephant, "I'm sorry but without proper photo identification I cannot give you a loan."
"Please! My family is hungry and we really need the money!" The frog looks at the teller's name-tag, "Please, Patty, I'm good for the money. This elephant was given to me by m**... Jagger. Please take it as collateral."
The teller looks from the frog to the elephant and sighs, "Give me a moment, I'm going to go talk to my manager and I'll see what I can do."
"Oh thank you so much!" The frog jumps joyfully as Patty walks into the back room and approaches her manager.
"Sir, there is a frog out in front that wants a loan. He has no form of photo-ID, but claims that he is good for the money. He has a small golden elephant that was given to him by m**... Jagger that he wants to use as collateral... What should I do?"
The manager looks Patty directly in the eyes and says, "It's a knick-knack, Patty-whack. Give the frog a loan."
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
Home Loan Troubles
So one day Kermit the frog decides that he wanted to buy this new condo by the beach. He goes into the nearest bank and strolls up to the counter. In front of him there was this teller with name badge blaring "Paddywhack".
Kermit says "I want a loan". She goes through usual procedure then asks him about a deposit.
He places this little tiny china elephant on the bench and says "Here's my deposit, give me a loan". The teller replies "I'm sorry that's really not good enough, you need money".
Kermit tells her that it's all he has and it will have to do. When the teller denies his request once more, he starts to get a bit angry. "Do you know who my dad is? He's m**... JAGGER." Kermit says forceably.
"I WANT YOUR MANAGER", Kermit yells. She lets out a sigh and wanders off to find her manager.
The teller explains to her manager the story about the deposit, the china elephant, and who it belongs to.
The manager places his palm on his face, looks up and says, "Jesus christ.. it's a knick knack Paddywhack, give the frog a loan.. his old man's from The Rolling Stones".
It is a cringe worthy joke, but I thought I'd share it.
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
A frog goes into a bank and approaches the teller...
He can see from her nameplate that her name is Patricia Whack.
'Miss Whack, I'd like to get a $30,000 loan to take a holiday.'
Patty looks at the frog in disbelief and asks his name. The frog says his name is Kermit Jagger, his dad is m**... Jagger, and that it's okay, he knows the bank manager.
Patty explains that he will need to secure the loan with some collateral.
The frog says, 'Sure. I have this,' and produces a tiny porcelain elephant, about an inch tall, bright pink and perfectly formed.
Very confused, Patty explains that she'll have to consult with the bank manager and disappears into a back office.
She finds the manager and says, 'There's a frog called Kermit Jagger out there who claims to know you and wants to borrow $30,000, and he wants to use this as collateral.'
She holds up the tiny pink elephant. 'I mean, what in the world is this?'
The bank manager looks back at her and says...
'It's a knickknack, Patty Whack. Give the frog a loan, His old man's a Rolling Stone.'
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
A frog goes into a bank...
A frog goes into a bank and approaches the teller. He can see from her name plate that the teller's name is Patricia Whack.
So, he says, "Mrs. Whack, I'd like to get a loan to buy a boat and go on a long vacation." Patti looks at the frog in disbelief and asks how much he wants to borrow.
The frog says "$30,000." The teller asks his name and the frog says that his name is Kermit Jagger, his dad is m**... Jagger, and that it is OK, he knows the bank manager.
Patti explains that $30,000 is a substantial amount of money and that he will need to secure some collateral against the loan. She asks if he has anything he can use as collateral.
The frog says, "Sure. I have this," and produces a tiny pink porcelain pig, about half an inch tall. Bright pink and perfectly formed.
Very confused, Patti explains that she'll have to consult with the manager and disappears into a back office.
She finds the manager and says: "There is a frog called Kermit Jagger out there who claims to know you and wants to borrow $30,000. And he wants to use this as collateral."
She holds up the tiny pink pig.
"I mean, what the heck is this?"
The bank manager looks back at her and says,
"It's a knick knack, Patti Whack.
Give the frog a loan.
His old man's a Rolling Stone."
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
A frog goes into a bank and approaches the teller.
He can see from her nameplate that her name is Patricia Whack.
"Miss Whack", he says, "I'd like to get a $30,000 loan to take a holiday".
Patty looks at the frog in disbelief and asks his name. The frog says that his name is Kermit Jagger. He says that his dad is m**... Jagger, and it's okay for him to take out all of the money because he is friends with the bank manager. Patty explains that he will need to secure the loan with some collateral.
The frog says "Sure, have this", and produces a tiny porcelain elephant, about an inch tall, bright pink, and perfectly formed. Very confused, Patty tells him that she'll have to consult with the bank manager. She then disappears into the back office.
She finds the manager and says "There's a frog called Kermit Jagger out there who claims to know you and wants to borrow $30,000, and he wants to use this as collateral". She holds up the tiny elephant pink elephant. "I mean, what in the world is this?"
The bank manager looks back at her and says "It's a knickknack, Patty Whack. Give the frog a loan, his old man's a Rolling Stone".
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
I asked m**... Jagger to pick me up some swampy plants.
But a Rolling Stone gathers no moss.
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
A Kermit the frog goes to get a loan at a bank.
He gets to the counter and states his request to the teller, Mrs. Whack.
Mrs. Whack: "Can you give a down payment or give us something to hold until your debt is paid off?"
The frog puts a tiny pink elephant on the counter in front of her. Mrs. Whack is very confused.
Kermit: "My father, m**... Jagger is friends with the manager. Go ask him if he will accept it."
So Mrs. Whack goes to the manager with the request and the pink elephant.
Manager: "It's a knick knack, Patty Whack, give the frog a loan. His old mans a rolling stone."
I hope this hasn't been posted before. I just remembered it while reading a joke about a bank. Sorry if this is a repost.
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
A Frog walks into a bank looking for a loan
Bank Teller ("Whack" on her name tag"): Hello, what would you like?
Frog: I would like a loan.
Mrs. Whack: What is your name?
Frog: Kermit.
Mrs. Whack: You're not Kermit The Frog.
Kermit: No, I was named after him. Name's Kermit Jagger, father's name is m**... Jagger, mother's a frog.
Mrs. Whack: Okay, do you have any collateral
Kermit pulls out a tiny pink elephant
Mrs. Whack: Let me check that with my manager
Patty Whack goes into the back and asks the manger what the pink elephant is
Manager: That's a knick knack, Patty Whack, give the frog a loan, his old man's a Rolling Stone.
Cr
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
Bit long, but one of the few work appropriate ones I know.
A frog named Kermit Jagger walks into a bank and up to the bank teller whose named Patty Wack.
Kermit: Hi there, I'm Kermit Jagger the son of the famous m**... Jagger and I would like a loan for $30,000 to buy a speed boat.
Patty Wack: Oh ok? Well do you have a down payment?
Kermit: As a matter of fact I do. (Pulls out a small porcelain elephant from his pocket and gives it to the teller)
Patty Wack: (Unsure of what to do) I'll go ask the manager.
Patty Wack: (explains the situation to the manager) And then he handed me this little elephant and I don't even know what it is!
Bank Manger: It's a nick nack Patty Wack give the frog a loan his old man's a rolling stone!
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
A frog needs a loan...
...so he goes into a bank and approaches the teller. He can see from her nameplate that her name is Patricia Whack.
'Miss Whack, I'd like to get a loan to take a holiday.'
Patty looks at the frog in disbelief and asks 'Okay, well what's your name?' The frog says his name is Kermit Jagger, son of the musician m**... Jagger.
Patty explains that he will need to secure the loan with some collateral. The frog says, 'Sure. I have this' and produces a tiny porcelain elephant, about an inch tall, bright pink and perfectly formed.
Very confused, Patty explains that she'll have to consult with the bank manager and disappears into a back office.
She finds the manager and says 'There's a frog called Kermit Jagger out there who wants a loan and he wants to use this as collateral.'
She holds up the tiny pink elephant. 'I mean, what in the world is this?' The bank manager looks back at her and says 'It's a knickknack, Patty Whack. Give the frog a loan. His old man's a Rolling Stone!'
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
A billionaire decides to build a palace
A billionaire decides to build a palace to bring the best musicians of the 60's together in one place. After a year of hammering, sawing, and painting the palace is finally finished. It's perfect – marble, chandeliers, and concert halls; dozens of swimming pools and tennis courts. Excited, the billionaire sends out his invitations. A few weeks later he sees Jefferson Airplane, The Beetles, Jimmy Hendrix and a hoard of 60's luminaries standing in the grass, but none are coming inside. Paul McCartney is playing cards with m**... Jagger.
The billionaire is stunned. I've spent a year building this palace, making it perfect in every detail for the best musicians the 60's has ever known. Why won't you come inside?
John Lennon adjusts his glasses and calls out: You forgot The Doors.
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
A frog walks into a bank...
...and proceeds to ask the Asian teller, Ms. Patricia Wok, for a $5,000 loan. Absolutely gobsmacked at a talking frog she mechanically goes through the procedure, asking him if he has any references. As a matter of fact, he replies, my dad's m**... Jagger, he's a musician. Okay, she says hesitantly. I mean if a talking frog, what's not allowed? Do you have any collateral, she continues. Yeah, he says, this ruby, while pulling a crimson rock from his overalls. Composing herself she decides to ask the bank manager for assistance. Quickly bringing him up to speed, she says, can we continue with the transaction and is the ruby even real? At which point the bank manager examines the gemstone, sizes up the situation and says, it's just a nicknack Patty Wok but give the frog a loan, his old man is a rolling stone.
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
Why didn't m**... Jagger pick r**... Moss up from the airport?
Because a Rolling Stone gathers no Moss.
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
m**... Jagger's Big Announcement
As m**... and his fellow musicians continue to age, they've decided on a new name for the group:
"The Rolling Kidney Stones"
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
What did m**... Jagger do when he found his cupboard was infested with moths?
Nothing. A rolling stone gathers no moths.
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
I just got caught hacking into m**... Jagger's Windows account...
He told me, "Hey! You! Get off of my cloud!"
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
In the last interview, m**... Jagger revealed the secret of his young appearance.
He said, 'Just stand by Keith.'
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
TIL m**... Jagger once studied to become a Bryologist
After forming his band, he abandoned his dream. After all, a Rolling Stone gathers no moss.
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
I've heard the rumours of m**... Jagger's lips...
They're Exjaggerated.
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
What black thing did six men constantly enter in the late 60s?
m**... Jagger's Door
Share These Mick Jagger Jokes With Friends
Mick Jagger One Liners
Which mick jagger one liners are funny enough to crack down and make fun with mick jagger? I can suggest the ones about michael jackson and paddy and mick.
- Why won't Dracula bite m**... Jagger? Cause you can't get blood out of a stone.
- Why doesn't m**... Jagger date British supermodels? A Rolling Stone gathers no Moss.
- What's a rolling rolling stone? m**... Jagger in a wheelchair
- If m**... Jagger was Irish would he go by McJagger?
- m**... Jagger had to give up his Japanese garden. The rolling stone couldn't grow moss.
- I've heard the rumours of m**... Jagger's lips... They're Exjaggerated.
- What black thing did six men constantly enter in the late 60s? m**... Jagger's Door